Chapter 1
As I walked along the winter trail I could only think of one thing; how cold this weather actually was. My nose by now had to be as red as a rose as well as my cheeks. I could feel my hair turning into an icicle and my legs slowly turning to stone. Oddly enough though, I loved this feeling. It made me feel safe. I breathed in the cold, winter air.
It was nine o'clock at night in December. New York is pestered with tourists and parents trying to find the perfect gifts. I looked down at the ground and picked up a handful of snow. I took off my black mittens and touched the snow. It was fluffy and white. Someone once told me that if you wish for things that you really, really want. They will come true. This is my wish. My one and only wish. I blew the snow away and watched it flow with the wind.
"Who am I kidding?" I whispered. "My wish never comes true." I looked down at my engagement ring and sighed. "Things have never worked out for me…maybe I…I should just give up."
It's been three years since the Cullen's and he had left. My life hasn't been the same. Never have I been able to love someone as much as I loved him. These relationships usually last about a month before something bad happens. The only one that lasted enough time to be an actual relationship was Nicks. We dated for three years and were engaged. Then, I found out that he had been cheating on me with another girl that he met at the club. This happened just a couple hours ago.
I felt my phone vibrate in my purse and took it out as I went to a hot chocolate stand.
"I don't want to talk to you." I said "You're nothing to me. Nothing."
"Bella, please, please just talk to me. I can explain." Nick pleaded.
"You can explain why you've been cheating on me for two years? Why I found you with some girl in my bed? I want you out of my apartment within the next hour. I don't care where you go, just get out of my space. We're over Nick, we're over."
"You know what Bella," Nick said "You…you deserve this."
"What the hell? Nick, you're such an ass. I deserve none of this. I've done nothing wrong."
"All you do is act depressed because this 'Edward' fellow isn't around anymore. You brought me down all the time. Why else would I cheat? I thought you were an amazing, beautiful, independent woman, but you weren't. You're a bottle getting ready to crack. You're going to eventually fall to a million pieces and I'm happy I won't be there to see that. I'll be out of here in an hour and by the way, I want my ring back."
That was the last I heard of Nick.
I looked at myself in the car mirror. My hair…my hair was blonde. My eyes still brown, but now worn out. My body…my body was so...fragile. My arms all scared up. I touched one of the scars on my arm from when Nick broke up with me. I winced and April looked at me.
"You're going to be okay, Bella." She said "You're going to be okay."
"I'm all screwed up." I said with a tear falling down my face. "My whole life...it's ruined."
"No it's not Bella. You're just starting your new life. This is a new start Bella. You need to picture who you can be and what you can do."
Sighing, I looked at the street moving before me. I'm moving back to Arizona. My mom is going to "keep an eye on me" for a few weeks while I get myself in line again. After the little "break-up" with Nick, I fell apart. I abused everything from me to drugs to alcohol. Never would I think I'd end up like this. Never would I think that this is what happened all because….Edward Cullen left me.