Chapter: 1/1
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst
Characters Pairing: Nathan/Haley
Dedication: To my friend Annie, because it was her birthday!
Spoilers: 2X15- The Hero Dies In This One
Disclaimer: The characters involved in this story do not belong to me. No infringement is intended and no profit is being made.
Notes: This is my first One Tree Hill fic, as Iusually dabble in That 70s Show fic.Itdoes have some very eeiry similarities with the "Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows" episode, but I swear I hadn't even seen the episodebefore I wrote this. Anyway hope you like it!
Summary: Nathan angsts over Haley while playing basketball, Haley angsts over Nathan while playing the keyboard.
He arched his back, his eyes focused on the thin rim that was metres in front of him. He took a deep breath, licked his lips and closed his eyes.
And saw her.
The ball flaccidly left his hand, falling to the paved floor instead of in the direction of the net, as the image of her laughing continued to plague his thoughts.
With a shake of his head, Nathan pushed the images of her out of his mind, groaning in annoyance. The ball rolled back near him and he viciously picked it up, throwing it harshly at the basket. But he missed completely, because this time he saw her leave.
He saw her face as he told her that if she left—it was over between them.
Nathan picked the ball up again, dribbling rapidly around the Rivercourt- hoping the speed would whisk the thoughts away from his mind.
He saw Taylor tell him that she was sorry. Haley had gone.
Nathan ran near the net, dribbling the ball in and out of his legs.
He saw her admit she had kissed Chris.
Nathan jumped high, letting the ball go as he approached the net and it clanked against the board with great power.
He saw her smile as she watched Chris perform.
The ball missed the net and bounced off the rim. Nathan quickly collected it, slamming it hard against the hard surface, the surge of memories still running through his mind.
He saw the first bracelet he had ever given her, flash from him putting it on her hand to it resting alone on the surface of their coffee table.
Nathan ran with the ball, as fast as he could. Pretending there was someone in front of him as he dodged around the court.
He saw the look in Peyton's eyes as she pulled him into a hug with words of support and regret.
Nathan stood back into position for a lay-up and scowled, glaring at the net. Peyton had already known about Haley and Chris—he could tell.
He saw Jake standing next to her, voicing his concerns.
Nathan breathed heavily, almost snarling. Jake had known too.
He saw all of them, even Felix, in his trashed apartment telling him that he would get through this and it all would be okay.
Nathan threw the ball, this time not bothering to aim at the net but in the hope it would slam against the board and break into many pieces.
But it wouldn't be okay.
Nathan picked up the ball, pressing it hard in his fists.
He wouldn't be okay.
She had left him. Not just his high-school sweetheart, but his wife had left him She was everything to him and without her he felt like nothing.
Nathan stood, gazing at the lake nearby with cold eyes.
He felt empty. Alone. He had never wanted this to happen. He had done everything so this day wouldn't happen. So she wouldn't leave him.
He had changed his attitude, his outlook on life and his ways. He had cleaned up for her. He had wanted to be a better person, so he deserved someone as wonderful as her.
And she still left him.
Nathan threw the basketball with all his might as it slammed against the pole. It rolled back towards him and Nathan kicked it aggressively. He raked his hand through his hair, as the thoughts continued to distress him. As she continued to distress him.
He then angrily walked over to the bench on the side and picked up his cellphone. Violently flipping it open, knowing what he had to do—
But he hesitated for a moment at the picture of him hugging Haley set as his display. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and replaced the screen with a window for a new message. He wouldn't let the picture get to him.
His fingers clicked at the buttons as the letters appeared one by one. He was texting slower than he ever had, forcing himself to type each letter, because there was a part of him that was holding him back from writing what he had set out to write.
-Goodbye.-
Nathan looked back at the message, before flicking through his phonebook to send it, but tears soon formed in his eyes as her name was highlighted.
Haley Cell.
He closed his eyes, but the tears remained. It took just a moment, just looking at her name for the tears to fall. He cried in pure frustration and threw his cellphone as it smashed against the surface of the court, breaking into several pieces.
Just as Nathan collapsed onto the court, breaking down himself.
She hit the keys making dull tones, but her mouth refused to open to let her voice out. The notes, the words, the music were all in front of her and yet she couldn't sing.
Haley closed her eyes, trying to mentally urge herself to sing—to do what she had left her whole life for. Her husband for.
She tried once more before sighing in defeat. She knew that right now singing was a lost case. She couldn't pretend to be happy. She couldn't sing love songs. She couldn't sing with all her soul. Not when she had left her heart and soul in Tree Hill—not when she had left him.
Haley sighed, slamming the tips of her fingers against the perfect white and black keys of the keyboard that she had been given the moment they had reached the venue.
She couldn't concentrate. She couldn't even hear what music she was playing, because all her thoughts were on him.
Haley continued to strike keys, all of which she knew were completely wrong. But she didn't care.
All she cared about was how she had left him…and that he hadn't stopped her.
Tears welled up in Haley's eyes as the notes in front of her blurred into a mass of black and white.
He had declared their marriage was over. He had gone first. He had let her leave him.
Haley felt a hand press against her shoulder. She quickly wiped the tears away, as she slowly turned around
"You okay?" To her surprise, Michelle Branch stood behind her asking her softly how she was. Haley smiled up at her, a purely fake smile.
"I-I'll be fine." She choked out. The lie slipping through her lips, like the many that had the past few weeks, the many lies that had contributed to her marriage being tattered in the first place.
Michelle smiled at her and walked off, realising that it was neither her place nor her understanding that would make Haley feel better. She had no idea what was wrong. No idea that Haley was so broken hearted that singing was the last thing on her mind.
Haley looked back at the keyboard, sighing at her lack of determination. Her body felt heavier, as the effort to hit the keys correctly seemed impossible. She sat for a few moments, breathing deeply with her eyes closed. She was trying to find the desire within her that always helped her sing, to remind herself of why she was here.
But she was drawing a blank.
She just wanted him right now. To hug him, to kiss him, to love him—
Haley groaned, opening her eyes instantly as his image flashed in her mind. That boyish smile he gave her when she walked into the room, the way he stood over her as she cuddled into his side—she could see them all and she never realised she would miss them so much—miss him so much.
She glanced at the table next to her and picked up her cellphone that was sitting on the counter. The front that usually had a little symbol pop up when she had a missed call or message remained blank. She had neither.
Haley sighed, putting it down and turning back towards the keyboard and resting her hands ready to play. However, it took only a moment for her attention to go back to her phone.
She paused for a moment or two in deep thought, before grabbing her cell and walking into one of the back rooms for some privacy. She flipped open her phone, knowing what she had to do.
Tears formed in the corner of Haley's eyes as she noticed her phone's wallpaper. It was a picture of Nathan kissing her on their wedding day. Her finger traced over the side of his cheek on the screen and soon a teardrop fell squarely on top of the image.
She quickly wiped away the tears and sat down on a stool in the corner, as she dialled his number. Each ring seeming like it would go on forever until finally he picked up.
"Haley!" He exclaimed, both in shock and excitement. Haley almost smiled at his voice.
"Hi." She said quietly. The words slowly left her lips as she tried to break the awkwardness that she was feeling—which she never thought she'd feel with him.
"Where are you?" He asked, his confusion evident from his tone. "What are you doing?"
Haley paused, the tears that she had so defiantly swept away came back in a flood. "I-I don't know." She cried her voice began to break. "I-I…how is he, Luke?"
"A mess." Lucas replied instantly with a sigh. Tears fell rapidly from Haley's eyes, as Lucas continued. "What are you doing, Hales? What were you thinking?"
"I-I…this is my dream, Luke. My future." Haley declared.
"I meant…what were you thinking kissing another guy?" Lucas said quietly. "You know Nathan would have been the first person to put you on that bus if this was just all for your future, Hales. If this was for your singing, he would've understood that. But…Chris?"
"It was a mistake."
"Haley, you remember when I kissed Peyton when I was going out with Brooke. You saw what that did to her, to me and to Peyton. I screwed up and I regret it so much right now. God, you won't believe how much I regret it right now. I-I just…I never thought you'd make the same mistake that I did. You're better than that, Haley." Lucas spoke, his words tore at Haley's heart as she felt Lucas' disappointment, the same feeling she had when she had learned of his betrayal to Brooke months back.
"It was a mistake. I explained it to Nathan, Lucas. H-he wouldn't listen to me." Haley broke.
"Can you blame him?" Lucas asked. Hot tears fell from Haley's eyes as she sobbed.
"I just want things back to the way they were, Luke. I just want to be on the rooftop of Karen's café playing mini-golf with you again. I just want us to go to the pier and watch the seagulls go crazy. I just want…" Haley trailed off.
"Nathan." Lucas ended for her, and Haley cried.
"What am I supposed to do now, Lucas? I don't know what to do!" Haley choked. A long silence followed her words and Haley almost though he had hung up on her, when he spoke again.
"You know when I left Tree Hill… I did say goodbye to you before I left." Lucas responded with an awkward laugh that just made Haley cry more. He then paused, before speaking again softly, "And I came back the next day, because of my family."
"Luke…"
"You know, I am your family, Haley." Lucas was on the verge of breaking down himself, as the lump in his throat grew and tears formed in the corner of his eyes. "And I need you. I really need you right now. I need my best friend, my little sis." Haley was crying uncontrollably now, the tears seeming like they would never stop. "And Nate really needs you. He's broken without you."
"I'm so confused, Lucas. I-I love Nathan, I love him so much. But my future…" Haley cried.
"You vowed that he was your future, Haley." Lucas said and then sighed. "But I've known you my whole life and even though I'm not happy with your decision, I know you've done it for a reason. You've always known what you're doing and I know you'll do the right thing, Haley. The right thing for yourself." Lucas spoke with a heavy heart, "And if…and if leaving Nathan is what you think is right, that this is the end—fine. But you at least owe him a goodbye."
Lucas' words stung at Haley's heart. Just having Nathan, the end and goodbye in the same sentence made her choke up.
She then heard The Wreckers on the other side of the door performing, their beautiful voices echoing across the room as she seemed to snap back to reality. Back to the present, which was currently miles away from Lucas, Tree Hill—and Nathan.
"I-I'm sorry, Luke. I c-can't. I just can't do this right now." Haley said, through broken sobs before flipping her phone to hang up on Lucas. She covered her face with her hands and continued to cry out all her pain.
Nathan sat on the edge of the Rivercourt, staring blankly at the rest of the town, at the rest of his life. He heard distant footsteps growing nearer, until eventually he looked up to see Lucas standing over him.
"Hey." Lucas said. Nathan glanced at him for a second, before turning back to staring straight ahead—he was not in the mood for company.
"Go away."
"Nate…" Lucas began.
"J-just leave me alone, Luke." Nathan declared, his voice was strained and tired.
"You can't do this to yourself, man. You're only hurting yourself." Lucas said, as he sat down next to him.
"Just go home to Dad, Lucas. Leave me alone!" Nathan replied bitterly, continuing to gaze ahead and not meet his brother's eyes.
"She still loves you, Nate." Lucas said, following Nathan's gaze. "She still really loves you."
Nathan remained quiet for a moment. He looked down in thought before slowly turning to Lucas, "You talked to her?"
"Yeah." Lucas said quietly. Nathan then turned back to look ahead, as the sun glared into his eyes.
"She's not coming back is she?" His voice was small, almost hopeless. Lucas felt a tug at his flawed heart, just seeing his younger brother in anguish.
"I-I don't know, Nathan. She's confused."
"Yeah. Like she was really confused when she walked out on me in the first place, right?" Nathan remarked sarcastically, causing Lucas to sigh.
"This isn't the end for you two, Nate. I know it isn't." Nathan remained quiet. "I'm not going to let this be the end for you two. Life is too short—and I don't want you guys to live it in regret. Haley may not be here right now, but she'll come back. I know her and I'm sure she will. So until then, stop killing yourself by keeping it all in." Lucas said. He stood up and picked up the basketball that was moving slightly around the court and threw it to Nathan. "Put it into your game instead. Let your feelings out through that ball, Nate until she comes back." He laughed lightly before speaking truthfully, "You're the only oneleft who can keep the Scott name on."
Nathan looked up at him, slightly perplexed at Lucas' choice of words, but then looked back at the basketball clutched in his hands. He stood up slowly and held the ball in his arms as he looked back at Lucas.
"Basketball was my first love." Nathan replied, looking at the ball again. He then looked right into Lucas' eyes. "But Haley…she is my love. She's my heart. And I can't play basketball until I have my heart back, Luke." Nathan choked out, tears began to fall from his eyes.
Tears formed in Lucas' eyes as well at Nathan's words. Without really thinking, Lucas pulled Nathan into a hug—for once feeling like the older brother that he was as Nathan broke down into his arms. "I know what you mean, Nate. I know exactly what you mean." Lucas said quietly.
Both brothers stood alone on the court—heart broken in their different ways, as they cried into each other's arms.
Haley nervously clenched and unclenched her hands as she stood on the side of the stage. It was their first gig and Haley was nervous for so many reasons.
Haley pulled apart a bit of the curtain to peek at the crowd outside. They had gained a strong crowd, about 100-150 people were currently cramped into the small venue chanting for Michelle and looking very excited. Haley skimmed through the crowd of unknown faces; the pit in her stomach grew, as each person became stranger and stranger to her.
And then she saw him. In the sea of unfamiliar people, Nathan stood smiling at the stage. Haley followed his gaze to see an image of her playing on the piano, singing a song she had written when their relationship was still fresh. She watched him again, and he looked so happy and so proud as he watched her play. The tears that Haley had thought had forever dried up returned, as she watched the love in Nathan's eyes as he watched her.
"Haley!" Chris' voice interrupted her thoughts as the image of Nathan disappeared and an emptiness fell over her.
It was then Haley knew what she had to do.
Chris walked up to her, but she ignored his words and pushed past him as the tears fell. She took out her cellphone and it took her only a moment to find his number and call him.
She was crying, but a big smile appeared on her lips at the same time as she waited for him to pick up.
She knew where her heart was, where her future really was.
It was with him.
The rings kept repeating—seeming like they were going on forever, but Haley held on. He would pick up. She knew he would.
But, back at the Rivercourt—Nathan's phone remained in pieces on the court.
Haley's call never reached him.
Finis