Knife in hand, I edged around the doorway, a trail of dead demons in my wake. I was ready to pounce on anyone, demon or not, that got in my way at that moment. I was more than just slightly livid. My brothers had gone on ahead without me leaving me with the task of finding and disposing of any demons that might try to sneak up on them. Even though we had drawn straws before we went to bed last night, and it was supposed to be Dan and I that went in to kill Lilith, they had gone back on their word and left me at the safe house. They only left me a note stating that they went on ahead and that for my safety I was supposed to e on Demon patrol. I so desperately wanted to be standing right there with them, joining them in killing the bitch that had ultimately caused Jo and Ellen's deaths, so much so that it literally pained me to not be there.
Sam and Dean were just lucky I understood what was at risk here. If we were going to have any chance at ridding the world of Lilith, and saving Dean from Hell, I had to trust my brothers and make sure they weren't interrupted by any of Lilith's damn cronies. Failure wasn't an option. There was no way in hell that I was going to lose my big brother. But when this was all over with? Those two were going to wish they had died when I got done with them. Wiping an errant tear from my cheek, I tightened my grip on the knife in my hand.
"Come on Mary-Jane… Now is not the time to lose it." I muttered to myself as I nudged a door open, cautiously entering the room with the knife brandished in front of me. It didn't take me long to check and deem the room demon-free. Only a few rooms left then I'd be done. Just as I stepped out of the room though, a scream rent through the building, making my blood run cold. I was frozen to the spot for a moment.
One thought ran through my mind again and again: Dear God, don't let that be one of my brothers. I sprinted through the house, sliding around corners haphazardly, barely even registering that the building seemed to be completely empty… as if Lilith knew we were coming. As if she wanted us to come to her. I went tumbling around yet another corner and scanned the room quickly. All seemed well until I looked down. When my eyes took in the gruesome scene before me, the knife dropped from my hand and clattered onto the floor at my feet.
"No… Dean!" I fell to the floor at my brother's side as his chest struggled to rise and fall with his shallow breaths. Taking his hand tightly in mine, I let the tears flow freely as Dean tried to force a smirk, grunting with pain at the effort it took him.
"Come on MJ… It's just a flesh wound you big baby." Dean tried to laugh, but he only ended up coughing violently, a spatter of blood landing on his chest.
"No… No… You… You are NOT dying on me!" Shaking my head violently, I reached down and with shaking hands I tried to rip a strip from my t-shirt. Dean's bloody hand landed on mine, stilling them in their attempts.
"Sammie… Take MJ and get out of here. Soon demons will be swarming this place." Dean muttered weakly, and I shook my head again.
"No! I-I'm not leaving you…" I stuttered, turning my head and staring up at my younger brother with tears in my eyes.
"Sammie… We are NOT leaving him! We're not losing him like we lost Dad!" I whispered fiercely, and it took Sammie only a moment before he was agreeing with me.
"Don't you worry Dean… We're going to get you out of here and… and fi-fix you right up.' Turning back to Dean, my voice died off as he chuckled one last time before his eyes glazed over.
"No… Dean? Dean!" Sammie pulled me away from Dean's body before I could throw myself on top of him, hugging me tight as I cried and sobbed into his chest, his own tears falling freely. No matter what we had done… we still lost him. Despite everything we had accomplished, we hadn't been able to stop him from dying. And I didn't know if I would ever forgive myself for that.
*Four months later*
Staring out the window with blank eyes, I numbly twirled the knife in my hands as the empty feeling in my heart seemed to grow.
"How's she doing Bobby?" I barely registered Sam's voice as he and Bobby poked their heads into the room. My heart tightened painfully at the sound of his voice. I wish Sm would just leave bcause seeing him would only make me happy, and I didn't deserve to be happy. Why should I be when it was my fault that Dean had died?
"Same as last time. She's like an empty shell ever since…" Bobby trailed off, though all of us knew what he meant.
He was right. Without Dean, it was like a part of me was gone. Sammie made up another piece, and it killed me that he went out and hunted every day looking for Lilith. I understood though and I hoped that bitch got what she deserved… But I couldn't find the motivation even just to speak yet. I didn't want to lose Sam like we'd lost Dean. Knowing that Sammie wouldn't leave until he talked to me, I forced myself to stand, placing the knife on the bedside table, before I turned to Sammie with a faint smile. Without a word, he came up to me and pulled me into a hug, placing a brotherly kiss on my forehead before he pulled away to look at me. Just as Sammie opened his mouth to speak, my phone went off in my pocket.
Frowning, I pulled it from my pocket and stared at the unknown number on the screen. Strange… Nobody by Sam and Bobby should have had my number. Something strange welled up inside of me and I felt a feeling of hope though it made no sense. It was something I hadn't felt for months. Curiosity pushed at me, and I found myself answering the phone before I could stop myself.
"Hello?" My voice sounded like a dying frog, and I winced at how bad it sounded. I guess that was what happened when you didn't use your voice for four months though. Bobby and Sam exchanged looks of shock at the fact that I had actually spoken. No matter what they had tried, neither of them could get me to talk these past months. I was surprised myself honestly.
"MJ? It's Dean." I bit my lip angrily and shook my head.
"Look dude, I don't know who you are but my brother is dead!" I shouted, anger filling me up inside.
"MJ it's me. Look out the window you idiot." I turned to face the window, dropping my phone in shock.
"D… Dean!" Tears welled up in my eyes as Dean entered the house through my back door that I had left open. I moved towards him, but Sam's hands on my shoulders stopped me dead in my tracks.
"Hey Sammie. MJ, Bobby." Dean grinned that all too familiar grin of his and I fought against Sam's grip even as Bobby snatched my knife from the table where I had abandoned it. It was pure silver.
"Woah! Bobby! It's me!" Bobby swiped at Dean, Bobby's eyes filled to the brim with angry tears.
"Mary-Jane, it truly is Dean. Stop them." A soft voice echoed in my mind, resembling my own so closely that I almost thought that it had come from my own train of thoughts. Nevertheless, my thought or not, I believed it. I couldn't explain why I believed it… I just did. I knew my brother.
Gritting my teeth, I jerked my elbow back into Sam's gut, catching him off guard enough to turn out of his grasp and swipe my feet out, knocking him to the ground. "Bobby! Stop!" My voice cracked again, and I knocked Bobby to the floor with a swift kick to the back of his knees. The moment Bobby wasn't trying to kill Dean anymore, I pushed myself in between him and the others.
"MJ! That's not Dean!" Sam called out and I shook my head at him.
"It is! He just had every chance to kill me just now. And he didn't. I… I can't explain it Sammie. This is Dean. This is our brother!" Turning to face Dean, I hugged him so tightly I thought I was going to suffocate him.
"I'm home MJ… I'm home." Dean murmured, the tears in my eyes reflected in his own as I stared up at him. My brother was home… He was alive, and he was home. Nothing else mattered.
"Fine. But if this really is Dean? He won't protest to us running a few little tests." Bobby remarked angrily from his position on the floor and I sighed. Grabbing the knife from Bobby, I held it out to Dean with a slight smile.
"I know you just got back from Hell and all… but would you mind?" I grinned, earning another shocked look from Bobby and Sam. It had been a really long time since they had seen me smile like that.
With an irritated sigh-one that was so Dean-like I couldn't comprehend how Sam and Bobby didn't believe it was Dean-, Dean took the knife from my hands and ran it gingerly across his forearm, drawing dark red blood.
"There. Happy?" Dean remarked sarcastically and I laughed brightly as I splashed some Holy Water at him.
"Really MJ?" I shrugged and hugged my brother again tightly.
"Yes really. I may believe that it's you, but they wouldn't until they knew for sure you weren't a demon." Once I had run through every single demon/monster test that any of us knew of, it seemed that Sam and Bobby finally believed that it really was Dean. After embracing in a group hug, we all pulled back with stupid grins. Mine faded though when I saw the hand print on Dean's shoulder.
"Dean… What is that?" I murmured, reaching out and touching it softly.
"I don't know. Last thing I remember is being ripped into dog chow, and then I was waking up in a coffin six feet under the ground." Dean shrugged, patting my hand absently.
"But… how? How is this even possible Dean?" Bobby asked the question all of us had been wondering, but had been too scared to ask.
"Well that's what I was wondering. You guys didn't make any damn deals did you?" Dean glared at Sam and I, but I wasn't fazed by his glower.
"It wasn't for lack of trying Dean. Sammie here knew you wouldn't want us to. I didn't care what you wanted. I wanted my big brother back. So I tried to make a deal with every damn demon in the country to get you back. But no one would deal. Apparently you were more valuable dead than alive." I grumbled bitterly, yelping when Dean smacked me in the back of the head.
"Look, I don't know who saved me, but I say we figure out who did, and figure out why they did it. It couldn't have been out of the goodness of their damn hearts I'm sure." Dean remarked. Damn straight we were going to find who did this. And I was going to give them the biggest thank you I could muster. Demon, Monster, human- I don't care. Whoever did this, brought my brother back to me, and for that I owed them. I owed them big.