Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers. Hasbro and the other various owners do.

Warnings: Pure crack!

Written for this prompt: *I would like fic where Orion goes around hugging Decepticons who have had a bad day! (Including drones)*

A/N: Pardon me for the cheesy pick-up lines. They are the only ones I know! OwO

It was good to see Megatronus again, after all this time.

Well…for him it only seemed to be a few days, but Megatronus had told him that it had in fact been thousands of years. He had just sustained a serious helm injury, and that was why he couldn't remember.

Orion believed him. After all, Megatronus would never lie to him! They were friends!

However happy Orion was to reconnect with Megatronus aside, he had noticed something disturbing during his stay on the Nemesis.

NOBODY smiled. Or even seemed happy, for that matter. He knew that Megatronus' forces were consumed with fighting against the evil Autobots, but still! EVERYBODY needed something to cheer them up! It wasn't until one day, while he was watching something the humans called "teevee", that he got a brilliant idea. He noticed that sad humans almost always became happy once they were hugged!

I don't see why that wouldn't work with my fellow Decepticons, Orion mused.

And so the great hug campaign was put into action.

O o O o O

Orion lurked in the halls of the Nemesis, looking for the first unhappy 'Con he could find. He quickly ducked around a corner when he heard footsteps.

"Of course Lord Megatron, I would LOVE to just drop everything I'm doing in order to follow along with one of your half-aft schemes." Starscream's sarcastic voice could be heard from the end of the hall.

Orion perked up. Starscream sure sounded like he could use a hug!

Starscream passed right by Orion, too absorbed in his own ranting to notice the giant red and blue mech lurking behind him. He did notice, however, when he was suddenly grabbed from behind.

"What the—get off of me!" He screeched to his assailant. His assailant who, to Starscream's chagrin, said:

"Turn that frown upside down!"

Twisting himself free, Starscream turned around in time to see Orion practically skip down the hall.

"Go find another sad 'Con to hug," Orion called back to him. "Remember, sharing is caring!"

Starscream's mouth was gaping so wide, he thought he might have dislocated his jaw in his disbelief.

O o O o O

Vehicon 148-37C was having a terrible day. He had been unfortunate enough to be on bridge duty while Lord Megatron and Starscream had had it out. He had tried to remain unobtrusive near his post at the ground bridge controls, but Megatron had the habit of throwing Starscream at walls while he was angry, no matter if there was someone standing against the wall or not.

He limped down the hallway towards the barracks, hoping that his friend, Vehicon 257-16D, would be there to help him hammer out some dents. Starscream was made up entirely of sharp angles, and getting an elbow to the face had ruined Vehicon 148-37C's mood (and face plates) considerably. He prayed to whatever deity may exist that his friend Vehicon 257-16D would be able to help him, because under no circumstances would he willingly go see Knockout. Knockout was a "sassy diva", as the humans would say.

He opened the barrack doors, but instead of his friend, (or any other Vehicon for that matter), he was greeted with the red and blue visage of Orion Pax.

"O-Orion Pax, Sir," Vehicon 148-37C stammered. "I didn't realize you had requisitioned the barracks. I'll leave immediately."

"Oh, nonsense! I was just visiting," Orion explained cheerfully, oblivious to the fact that the vehicon was looking at him like he had grown a second head. "What is your name, soldier?"

"Vehicon 148-37C, Sir!" He snapped to attention.

"Vehicon 148-37C? That's not a real name!" Orion exclaimed. "You look like a Steve. From now on, you'll be called Steve."

"Um…thank you Sir?" the newly dubbed "Steve" replied.

Noticing Steve's battered appearance, Orion stepped forward and gave the vehicon a big hug.

"Stay classy!" Orion clapped Steve on the shoulder and left.

Vehicon 148-37C, aka "Steve", just stood there and rebooted his optics.

Did that just really happen?

O o O o O

Orion continued down the hallway towards the bridge. The bridge of a warship was always busy, and therefore was sure to be stressful. Sure, Megatronus had said that Orion couldn't go to the bridge (citing safety reasons), but surely it wouldn't hurt to just visit quickly and cheer the on-duty personnel up!

But that was before he spotted Breakdown coming his direction.

Poor Breakdown, he thought. It must be so difficult only having one optic.

"Good afternoon Breakdown," Orion said politely, as Breakdown drew level with him.

"Oh, hey…Orion." Breakdown was a mech of few words, preferring his actions to speak for him.

"Happy Saturday!" Orion exclaimed suddenly, throwing his arms around Breakdown.

Breakdown, for his part, wasn't sure what in the pit he was supposed to do. Megatron had been very clear that NOBODY was to hurt Opti—Orion, but he'd never told them—wait, wait, what was he doing?

Orion was leaning forward. "Here, I'll kiss your boo-boo all better!" And with that, he planted a kiss dead-center on the patch covering Breakdown's empty optic socket. "There, now doesn't that feel better?" he asked.

Breakdown shook himself, managing to rid himself of Orion at the same time.

"Um…sure?" Breakdown replied, just wanting to get out of there. "I'm uh…I'm late…for…stuff."

With that, he sidestepped Orion and beat a hasty retreat.

"Aaaarghh, matey!" Orion called after him.

Breakdown fought the urge to facepalm.

O o O o O

Orion finally made it to the bridge. Once inside, he noticed it was completely empty, except for Soundwave.

That's odd, he thought. I was under the impression that the bridge required a large amount of mechs to operate. He looked around, and spotted Soundwave typing on a monitor in the corner.

Soundwave. The mech was a silent mystery. He had never heard the mech talk, nor seen beneath his face mask. Orion figured that Soundwave must be lonely. After all, he couldn't recall a single instant where Soundwave actually socialized with another mech. A pity, really. Soundwave was quite attractive.

Orion perked up. That's it! He'd give Soundwave some romancing. He sauntered up to Soundwave.

"Hey there Soundwave."

There was no response.

Orion was not discouraged. "I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back. Nice aft!"

Soundwave stopped typing. He turned and looked at Orion quizzically.

Orion smiled in a manner that he hoped was seductive. He reached out and stroked Soundwave's arm.

"If you were a laser, you would be set on stunning!"

Knock Out walked onto the bridge just in time to hear that. He smirked. It brought him no small amount of pleasure that Soundwave looked so embarrassed. Scrap, the mech's face was hidden and it was still obvious!

Soundwave was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable. He knocked away Orion's hand and sent an urgent comm to Megatron. After all, Megatron was the only mech on the Nemesis who could deal with Orion Pax.

Orion was not discouraged. He was going to cheer up Soundwave, frag it!

"I'd better call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good!"

Knock Out snickered from the control panel he was leaning on. Soundwave turned around and tried to leave the bridge. Orion was having none of that. He immediately gave Soundwave a tight hug.

O o O o O

Megatron, having received Soundwave's comm, approached the bridge. He was annoyed that Orion had deliberately ignored his orders. He stormed through the doors, prepared to shout at Orion, but stopped short when Orion, hugging Soundwave, whispered quite loudly:

"Are you a computer whiz? Cuz it seems you know how to turn my software into hardware."

Knock Out snickered again. Unfortunately for him, that's what gave him away.

"Knock Out!" Megatron hissed. "How many times do I have to tell you to not give Orion any high grade!"

Knock Out shrugged. "Well at least we now know why Primes don't party."

A/N: I'd love to hear what you think! :D