"No!" Seamus asked excitedly.

Ron glanced over at Hermione who was reading a book. He sighed, if ever there was a time for her to listen to his private conversation, now would be it. This was his revenge for Krum.

"Yep, that's right. She was acting all innocent and then just out of the blue man… she was totally coming on to me. Like, in a major way."

Seamus was looking awed, Harry looked sceptical. Hermione was reading his book and Ron was telling his lie. He carried on, determined to get a reaction out of her.

"Yeah, I mean, she was just sort of holding my hand and saying how useful the Room of Requirement is, and then she turned on some music and…"

Ron stopped here, thinking he'd gone far enough, but Hermione was still staring, eyes glazed at her book. Stupid git, he thought he'd have to keep going… well, she'd asked for it.

He was just opening his mouth to continue when Dean burst out,

"OK, details mate, we need the details!"

Fuelled by this outburst, Ron continued, in a suspenseful voice, desperate to get his desired affect.

"Well. The music was on, and I thought she just wanted a little romance so I was pretty confused when she changed it to a stripper track…"

Ron paused, glanced at the bushy head two seats up, and continued when he saw his efforts had been to no avail.

"So, me being the stupid prat that I am.." Ron laughed, "I was still confused when she started taking her clothes off, I thought she'd gone crazy. Then she just rushes at me and screeches, "Fuck me you fool!" and then, I did."

Satisfied, he looked back at Hermione, only to see her chair on the ground and her robes billowing behind her as she marched out of the entrance hall.

"When did she..?"

Neville looked grave, but he thought Ron deserved it, "Somewhere between "She started taking her clothes off" and "Fuck me you fool!"" he said quietly.

Ron looked confused, even though he had really been trying to get her attention the whole time.

The other guys looked very amused, but Harry looked worried.

"Ron, you need to stop flaunting Lavender in Hermione's face, it's not right and you know it."

Ron looked shocked, and then a bell seemed to click inside his head, even though he had known it the whole time.

Harry was right.

Harry was always right, except when Hermione was right.

Damnit he loved Hermione, why did he make up a completely different ending to that story…

Lavender was leading him to the Room of Requirement. He could see that, and he knew what she wanted. Why was it that he didn't? When she closed the door on him, with a flourish, and pressed herself against him, why was all he felt irritation? She flipped a switch and music came on. Stripper music. Now what was he supposed to do? Shit. Shit. Shit. She was taking her clothes off. He tried to ignore her, act like she was crazy until she came right up in his face, her breath smelling like mints. Stupid mints. Hermione smelt better. When she screeched at him to do her already, the only word to come out of his mouth was "No." and that was final. Ron took one look at her face and ran for it.

A/N: OK, that was fun, sorry for the language, I thought it was just kind of necessary. If you think it should be rated higher, let me know, but really, if you're too young to be reading this, most likely you shouldn't be reading T. Let me know if you want me to continue, because otherwise I won't, cause it could easily be a one-shot. Please please review, you know you want to, it will literally make my day! Oh, and if you have any ideas, you can PM me and I'll put them in if they're OK. Thank you endlessly for reading, and I love you forever if you review.

Gypsey xoxo