Title: Question For Another Day
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Slash/Drama/Angst
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and whichever title, place here and all characters belong to their respective owners, up to and not discluding J. K. Rowling, and Scholastic Books, among others. I make no money from this, and am only doing this for the pure enjoyment of writing. Don't sue. Blood + Turnip =… Do the math folks
Notes: I wrote this for my summer English project. Plus, I wanted to get into Severus's head. This is Slash people. Meaning male/male love type feelings. All right? If you don't like, don't read and don't flame. I'll just use it to make some of that bottled Death Snape is always talking about. K? Good. Criticism is welcome and appreciated.
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Question For Another Dayby
Lady Akita
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The reasons for our relationship were stated at the beginning of this encounter. But, as always, you have decided that the rules are not beholden to you and have walked around them. You do not seem to understand that in life we must have a set of guidelines to follow so we don't get ourselves killed.
Yes, I understand that we are in the middle of a war here and it is difficult for any of us to follow the rules. That isn't the point of my disgust. That point lies along the fact that you don't try to follow the rules. You completely disregard them. How you have managed to survive this long in life is still a mystery to many, though having others throw themselves in front of Death for you seems to have helped.
Do you even care? It is a question I find myself asking more regularly as time passes. Some how I don't believe you do. Looking at the way you simply throw yourself into danger proves my point far more easily than I wish it would. Perhaps there is something to those stories of your childhood days, before you knew you were the hero of our people and still just a child. Perhaps.
But it is not possible to dwell on that perhaps when you act the way you do. You don't understand these circumstances as well as you play it off. I'll give you this, you do know how to fool so many. How easily you lie to your best friends and the other mixed members of your family. It hurts me to see this, though I will be hard pressed to admit it, even under the strictest of truth serums. There is a reason to why I am a Master, you know.
And yet those reasons fade as I cast a glance across our quarters. So neat and perfect, even in the aftermath of your latest temper. I assure you that I do not like this situation anymore than you do. I am a man of privacy and you are one who will never understand its importance. No more than you will ever understand why it is our union that protects you.
Yes, our union. Not the one you have with your homicidal godfather nor the one with that lumbering oaf of a groundskeeper. Our union. Do you know what I have given up to protect the world's best hope? Perhaps you do. Most likely not. Though you do seem to understand how easily I would give my life for yours. You have to, for you've lived through the proof. From your first year in this school, I have thrown myself into even higher peril to save your reckless hide. Or have you believed that I enjoy the danger; that I am intoxicated on the elixir that is certain death?
I know the answer to that. Simply, you haven't decided. You haven't thought of the sacrifices that have been laid down at your feet for your simple existence. You have hidden form the truth, though you know you can't hide for much longer. Proof is seen in the abrupt ending of our earlier argument. The look of horror, sorrow, and guilt reflected in your emerald eyes at the exact moment your words gained life is the proof. You know and yet you chose to ignore the truth. You seem to believe it isn't needed.
You are wrong. As the battle rages around us, we can't afford to be swept away on the tides of misunderstanding. Not now. Not when so many need us to be strong; to be able to win. So much rests on our shoulders, but yet you don't wish to relieve some of that burden by sharing it with me. Oh, how I wish you would. I need the relief as much as you do. Now if you would just realize this. All of the others have, even I have come to understand the importance. That is the reasoning behind our union. Keeping you safe just comes along as the byproduct.
We both are important to this war. I know you understand this. You are the best hope we have, and I, well, I have the power to shape that hope into reality with experience and the wisdom that comes along with such. Yes, I am an insufferable git, but you know that I am right. We were joined to form this partnership, even if we were just lying to ourselves about what even your moronic godfather could see within our hearts.
Yet again you change the rules on me. You seem to have come to understand just as well as I have, and yet you refuse to admit it. What are you afraid of? It most certainly isn't breaking our rules. Could it be you are afraid of following them?
Well, that is a question I will save for another day. You've come back from where ever it was that you went, and I catch my breath at the vision before me. My seat in front of the blazing fireplace allows me to see how the light catches your graceful features and transforms them to something unearthly. Beauty personified stands before me, even as you hesitate on the border of our rooms, just as you had my classroom so many years before. My heart swells again.
I place my glass of wine on the nearby stand as I rise to my feet. You step back as I do and I fear I have caught you like a startled kitten. I am reminded of the child I first met, so shy yet so determined to prove yourself. I see myself again. My movements stay slow, but determined as I move to your side and draw you in. I refuse to let you leave again. There will be no more misunderstandings between us tonight. Just peace.
Hopefully there will soon come a day when I will understand your fears as completely as I will understand you. But again, that is a question for another day. Tonight we will sleep in one embrace and know that that day will come.
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Owari – The End
I hope you liked it. ;)