A/N: This little gem just sort of popped into my head. It's my first fanfic, so constructive criticism is much appreciated.
"Bella, you're being completely absurd," Edward retorted, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Oh, dear, Bella Cullen's being absurd! Astonishing, Edward, quick; call the newspapers! Why not, why not, Edward?" Bella sat on the edge of the bed, arms crossed, brown eyes ablaze, and lips locked in a full-frontal pout as she stared up at her husband of six hours, thirty-four minutes, and twenty-seven seconds.
"Because, Bella, it isn't… I just… not tonight." He moved towards her and rested his frigid hand on her shoulder with slightly distant affection. Bella gasped at the sudden drop in temperature and it was withdrawn, but not without much protest. She lunged for his hand with both of her own before it could rest fully at its owner's side, tugging on his arm, though she knew full well all the tugging in the world wouldn't get him on the bed if he didn't want to be on it. She was duly astonished when the arm, and the vampire attached, complied with her gentle insistence, and moved with leonine grace to sit beside her on the bed. "You know it's not that I don't want to, you know I do. I'm just afraid for you, Bella."
"Edward, isn't it somewhat customary for tonight to be the night…" She trailed off suggestively, running a single finger up his ivory arm. He seemed about to protest again when a shiver ran through his form, and he stiffened. "Edward…?" Bella's finger paused on its path for a sliver of a moment before Edward grasped her hand, spun her around to face him fully, and kissed her with scorching intensity. Bella's head swam as his granite fingers fumbled with the strap of her nightgown…
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"There, are you happy now?" a resigned voice sounded from the hall outside the next room. The impish girl inside grinned at the noise and bounded to the door, opening it wide. "You were right- mostly nervousness. Awkward self-doubt. I gave him a push." Alice kissed Jasper in thanks, then tossed him some earplugs from her bedside table- it could be a long night.