SUMMARY – Unresolved issues have to be dealt with when Tristan receives some unexpected news.
PAIRING OR CHARACTER – Tristan (and a little bit of Rory in the middle!)
DISCLAIMER – Everybody give it up
for the WB and Amy Sherman-Palladino, without them Gilmore Girls would be
nothing more than just an idea! The lyrics come from the song 'I Do', by Jude.
*
I Do
The room was silent – opulent, but cold; lavish, and yet, bereft of any photographs, any treasured knick-knacks. A cigarette still smouldered in the crystal ashtray on the table, wisps of smoke trailing upward. Beside the ashtray lay an opened envelope, the letter inside creased and worn from so many readings.
I got a letter today
an invitation
and the writing looked like you
Hello how are you and by the way
Please RSVP I do
From his position on the balcony, Tristan stared unflinchingly into the sunset, both hands gripping the rail, his eyes fierce and proud. He'd been standing here for what felt like a lifetime, ever since he'd read the news – and he felt his throat constrict as the words floated back into his consciousness, taunting him with their clarity.
Rory Gilmore was getting married.
I thought of writing sad words of how it used to be
But I didn't want to bring you down, no
I guess the bells will ring pretty well there without me
Don't worry 'bout me baby I'll wear the thorny crown
I will play the clown
"Dammit," Tristan hissed, slamming his hands down on the wrought iron, cursing himself; cursing himself for his weakness, and for the tears he felt pricking beneath his eyelids. Impatiently, he turned around and walked back into the room – his bedroom.
It had been eight years since he'd last seen her. Eight years since he'd last allowed himself the pleasure of admiring the way her eyes sparkled sapphire blue. Since he'd taken in the way her cheeks flushed with every biting retort she flung back at him.
Eight years since he'd stood in that corridor on that night so long ago, looking down at her as he desperately tried to pretend his world wasn't crumbling in front of him – that he wasn't going so very far away, that this wasn't the last time he'd ever see her again, that his heart wasn't aching with every word that left his lips.
Even now, Tristan felt his mouth twist into a wry smile as the memories flashed through his head, painful and uninvited.
Years of living a privileged life – the right parties, the right connections, and all the right moves – had jaded him, sucked the life out of him. But nothing had prepared him for Rory Gilmore. Nothing could ever prepare him for Rory Gilmore, with her sweet innocent smile, her fiery passion for life, and the spell she effortlessly cast over him.
Sitting down again, Tristan picked up the letter, almost against his will. Yes, there were those words, written in black and white; those words that had made his heart twist painfully – words that had cut him to the quick, words that made him wish, if only…!
"That's right," Tristan muttered, struggling to take control of his haphazard emotions. "If only." He glanced down at the letter, skimming through the writing as a faint smile spread across his handsome face. Even after all this time, she still remembered him.
If you think that I don't love you, you're just wrong
And that don't matter now anyway
I couldn't bear to see you up there with a white dress on
Here's my vow to you
I'll stay away
Rory bit her lip as she anxiously looked around the crowded room. Yes, all her friends were there, all the familiar faces – save one. She felt her cheeks redden as she banished that irrational thought from her mind. What is wrong with you? She berated herself as she picked up another glass of champagne. This is your engagement party, after all! You should be thinking about–
"Hey there."
Rory plastered a smile on her face before she swung around to face her fiancé. "Hey yourself."
Dean laughed, his eyes shining as he leaned down to kiss Rory lightly on the lips. "I saw you standing all by yourself way over here, and I thought you might want some company."
"I'm okay," Rory said, seeing the look of concern lingering in her future husband's eyes. Her future husband – there was something almost frightening about that. Never in her life had she imagined this day, and she certainly hadn't imagined she'd be sharing the rest of her life with Dean! Rory snapped back to reality on hearing Dean's barely-suppressed chuckle. "What is it?"
"Your mother's stirring up trouble again," Dean nodded behind Rory, and she turned around just in time to see her mother, the one and only Lorelai Gilmore, harassing an embarrassed-looking waiter. Rory grinned.
"Uh oh. Looks like it's up to me to restore the peace," she joked, giving Dean one last kiss before strolling over to her mother. "What's wrong?"
"This!" Lorelai turned frantic eyes to her only child. "This right here!" she continued as she viciously stabbed the tray the waiter had been holding. "Can you believe it?"
"I'm sorry, Mom," Rory said as she nodded discreetly at the waiter, who gave her a look of pure gratitude as he made his escape. "But you're going to have to a bit more descriptive than that."
"It seems that your grandmother, Emily Gilmore, snoot extraordinaire–" Rory hid a grin at the sight of her mother's disbelieving expression, "–has expressly ordered that the refreshments for this fancy shindig include champagne, nothing else!" She whimpered dramatically, and in an instant, Rory knew what her mother wanted.
"Excuse me," she called over another waiter. "Would you be so kind as to get my mother some coffee? Thank you."
"Make that jumbo sized!" Lorelai chimed up, her face brightening at the prospect of her magic elixir. She dropped a hearty kiss on her daughter's forehead. "Oh, you angel, you!" She looked down lovingly at the face of the young woman beside her. "I can't believe you're actually getting married," Lorelai continued as she held up Rory's hand, where a slender band of diamonds and gold rested on her fourth finger. "I can't believe my baby is all grown up now! In fact," she sniffed, "I'm off to hunt Luke down."
"Luke?" Rory's eyebrow arched.
"Haven't you heard?" Lorelai smiled mischievously. "Misery loves company!" She laughed again before hugging her daughter tightly. "Only kidding, honey. I am honestly so very happy for you!"
"Thanks, Mom," Rory smiled, her eyes sparkling. Moving away, she walked through the crowd of guests, stopping occasionally to talk to a few of them. Just as she was about to wave hello to another friend, Rory froze, her eyes widening with recognition.
The tousled blond hair, the deep blue eyes, the knowing smile…
Tristan.
I remember when in a lover's
whisper you said
No other man would ever share your bed
Well we both know that's not been so
And I wish I'd never let you go now
You found a better man instead
Tremulously, Rory took a step forward, watching with dismay as Tristan turned around and disappeared out the entrance. With a determination born of desperation, Rory managed to make her way to the door, stepping outside into the cold as she looked around, relief flooding her when she finally caught a glimpse of the figure standing in the shadows. Eagerly, she walked toward him. "I thought you wouldn't come."
"What? And miss seeing my Mary at her engagement party?" Tristan smirked, looking like an older version of the suave Chilton playboy she knew so well. "Perish the thought!" Leaning down, he kissed her lightly on the cheek, not trusting himself to go any further. "How've you been?"
"I'm great," Rory said softly, her eyes taking in every bit of Tristan's face – so familiar, and yet, so…alien. "You?"
"Oh, you know," Tristan shrugged nonchalantly. "Messed up, as usual. It's been awhile, hasn't it?"
"Yeah, it has." Rory's eyes bore into Tristan's unflinchingly. "I'm so sorry we never kept in touch."
Studying the engagement ring glittering on her hand, Tristan smiled, an enigmatic expression in his eyes. "So am I." He looked at Rory. "You wanna get out of here?"
Rory blinked with confusion. "Where to?"
"You'll find out," Tristan wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, "if you come with me."
"Somehow, I have a sinking feeling that no good is about to come out of this," Rory sighed, sounding every bit as hesitant as she looked.
"Oh, come on Mary," Tristan wheedled. "For old times' sake?"
"Well, I really shouldn't, but…" Rory allowed a small grin to brighten her features. "Okay."
I wish you health and wealth
and a white house on a hill and I
I hope you raise a family
Little boy and a little girl, a little more joy in this little old world
Well, that'd be enough for me
"We're here," Tristan announced as he killed the car engine a few minutes later. They sat in the silence for a few moments as they looked out the car window, drinking in the nighttime sounds of crickets chirping outside.
Finally, Rory felt a smile tugging at her lips. "Chilton."
"That's right," Tristan grinned broadly as he unfastened his seatbelt. "Come on."
Climbing out of Tristan's Porsche, they stood there in the dark, quietly appraising the silent building. Suddenly, Tristan took hold of Rory's hand. "Let's go."
"Where're we going?" Rory stumbled a little as she walked behind Tristan, tightening her grip on his hand. "And why do I suddenly feel deathly afraid for my life?"
"Don't worry," Tristan said, his voice low, his eyes shining brightly in the moonlight. "I won't let anything happen to you, okay?" Seeing her smile, he touched her cheek softly with his free hand, and they ventured forth. Walking around the building, they came to an entryway, its doors closed. Tristan stopped abruptly, a strange look on his face.
Rory nudged him. "What's wrong?"
"This spot…" Tristan whispered, a wistful smile touching his lips.
"What?" Rory blinked, perplexed.
Tristan cast her a sidelong glance. "Don't you remember?"
"Um, no," Rory confessed, still a little mystified.
"Oh Mary, you hurt me!" Tristan clutched his heart, a wild grin on his face.
"Okay, okay," Rory raised her hands in surrender. "I give up. What's so special about this spot?"
Tristan tilted his head slightly as he reminisced. "This was where you said you hated me."
"Oh God," Rory winced as the full force of that fateful day came crashing back into her memory. "Oh, Tristan–"
"It's okay," he interrupted, shrugging easily, but in his eyes, she saw something – a hurt that still refused to heal completely, despite the passage of time. And it horrified her to know that she was the one who had put it there.
"No, it's not," Rory insisted, feeling ashamed; ashamed of how her careless words had wounded him so. "I was horrible to you! I…"
"It's all in the past, Rory," Tristan shook his head patiently at her clumsy attempts to apologize. "We were young. I made your life a living hell. So you were justified in saying what you did."
"That's the thing," Rory continued stubbornly, determined for him to hear her out. "If you would just stop interrupting me–"
"Sorry," Tristan grinned despite himself.
"I didn't hate you, Tristan," Rory said earnestly. "I never did."
If you think that I don't love
you, you're just wrong
And that don't matter now anyway
I couldn't bear to see you up there with a white dress on
Here's my vow to you
I'll stay away
Tristan gripped her hand tighter, willing her to feel what he couldn't put into words. With another reckless grin, Tristan stepped forward and tested a side gate, motioning for Rory to join him. "Come on, Mary."
She approached him, cautiously. "Should I even ask what you've got planned in that head of yours?"
"We're climbing the gate," Tristan calmly explained, holding out a hand. Seeing the doubtful look on her face, Tristan sighed impatiently. "This is the only way into the back, you see? Now come on, slowpoke."
"We're not going to get into any trouble for this, are we?" Rory asked, suddenly feeling like she was sixteen years old all over again. "I mean, you already got busted once for breaking into Bowman's dad's safe, and that was eight years ago–"
Tristan laughed softly, and in the spell of the magical night, it seemed as though he'd been transformed into the old Tristan – the Tristan she knew so well. "You haven't changed one bit, you know that?"
"Thanks. I think." Nimbly, Rory gripped the iron bars and hopped neatly over, enjoying the astonished look on Tristan's face. "Hurry up – slowpoke."
They spent the rest of the night walking around the empty corridors, laughing and smiling at the old memories that it all brought back. Tristan paused, stretching out a hand to touch something beside him. "Look."
"Oh!" Rory sprang forward and laughed. "My old locker!" Carefully, she ran her fingers down its worn surface. "This is all so…"
"Surreal?" Tristan supplied, looking down the darkened corridor, seeing images from his past come roaring back to him. There had been classes and conquests; there were parties and friendships – and above everything else, there was always Rory.
It had all happened here. And now, eight years later, here they were.
"Tristan?"
Hearing her voice, Tristan turned around and smiled. "Yeah?"
"We should be getting back now," she said timidly. "I don't want anyone to worry."
"Sure thing," Tristan agreed, tearing his eyes away from the sights of his childhood. "Let's get out of here."
Time rolls on
And dreams they die
And I've thrown out the pictures I had of you and I
And if you're ever wondering if love can be true
Well, think of me and remember darling like I, like I do
It wasn't too long before they were back where they started – standing outside the doors of the country club, listening to the happy sounds of the party going on inside. Tristan stuck his hands in both pockets as he stood facing Rory, who was strangely silent for once. "So…"
"So," Rory countered, grinning broadly. "You want to come in for awhile?"
Part of him wanted to do that: to venture into the warm, safe world she came from, the world in which she wanted for nothing. A world that was full of light and love – a world of acceptance. But something held him back. "No, I think I'll be heading back now. I've got a big day ahead of me, and so have you."
"Yeah. Hey," Rory searched his face for a moment. "Are you coming for the wedding tomorrow? It would mean so much to me if you could."
Tristan heard the hope in her voice, but he knew what his answer would be, even before he laid his eyes on her tonight. "No, I don't think I can. I've got an appointment I have to keep." Seeing the look on her face, Tristan squeezed her shoulder gently. "I'm so sorry, Mary. You know there's nothing more I want than to see you getting married, but–"
"Isn't there a way for you to come?" Rory said, and in the cold night, her voice sounded young, hopeful. "I really want you to be there."
"So do I," Tristan smiled, touching her chin gently. "But look at it this way – at least we'll always have this night."
"Yeah," Rory said, her voice so soft that Tristan had to lower his head closer to hers to catch her words. "We'll always have this night. So…" She tried to smile, but he could see the disappointment in her clear blue eyes; he caught the quiver in her voice as she spoke again. "This is it, huh?"
"I guess so." Tristan leaned down and kissed her cheek softly. "Goodbye, Rory. Take care of yourself."
"Goodbye, Tristan." She surprised him then by reaching out and pulling him into a warm embrace. Wrapping his arms around her, Tristan closed his eyes, breathing in the sweet smell of her shampoo, the faint scent of her perfume. Then he let go of her.
Old friendships fade away, love
falls apart
And you've not spent a single day outside my heart
But, there's just one more dream that I have left for you
I hope you're smiling when he turns around and says I do
Maybe this is how it's supposed to end.
Tristan felt a smile curving his lips as that thought crept into his consciousness. The cold night air whipped through his hair, caressing his cheek as he drove down the endless stretch of road.
Every story has its beginning, and every story has its end.
In his mind, Tristan saw himself as he had been eight years ago – brash, cocky, confident, never once doubting himself or his place in the world. He saw the sixteen-year-old whose life had been irrevocably changed with the simple flash of cornflower blue eyes, with the sweet smile of a girl whose innocence touched him in more ways than he could possibly understand.
And tonight, he had seen the unmistakable expression on her face as she gazed into her future husband's eyes – he could see the love and happiness, the certainty that they were meant to be together. In her eyes, Tristan had seen all these things, and more.
Tristan sighed deeply, and he felt an unknown calmness fill his being. For so many years, part of his life had gone unresolved, an unanswered question that hung in the air ever since that night he walked away from Rory – away from her and into the cold, unwelcoming arms of the military school in North Carolina. But now…
He heard himself laugh, unrestrained; laughter borne of relief, of a sudden, delicious rush of joy, and the anticipation of what life held for him. Whatever had happened in the past was finally buried in the darkened, silent corridors of his youth, and now, looking into the future, he was finally ready to move on.
The End
