Rain makes me melancholy. That's really my only explanation.
Disclaimer: I don't own. I only love.
Rei stared out the window at the millions of stars winking at him. Sometimes he felt like winking back, letting them know that he was in on the joke as well.
But not tonight.
Tonight he just wanted to stare back at them. To show them that he knew they were there and he knew they were watching.
"Rei?"
He tore his eyes away from his audience to look at his best friend, Lee, his face relaxing into a tired smile. "Yeah?"
"Are you done for the night?"
Rei looked around the familiar workshop, its tables scrupulously clean, the clutter of the day put away neatly and the tools all in their proper places. His current project, a large, ornate table, sat in the middle of the room half-assembled with his carefully drawn plans neatly piled on top of it. He'd been working on it for the past month, carefully and lovingly carving intricate designs over every inch of the wood, even those that would never see the light of day.
He had the time.
Lee sighed. He had sensed during the day that it was going to be one of those nights. It hadn't been much: a few less smiles, a few more seconds between question and answer, a few more minutes spent contemplating a piece of timber before it was cut. It wasn't enough to alert anyone who hadn't spent years with Rei. But Lee had, first as a friend, then a team mate and now as a workmate. "Don't stay up too long," he said, knowing that his words wouldn't make any difference.
Rei nodded absently, turning back to stare out the window.
Lee left, closing the door firmly behind him. When he came back to the workshop in the morning he'd find Rei asleep in the same position he was sitting in now. When he woke Rei things would be normal again. His best friend would once again be the gentle, happy man whose smile could light up the darkest day. Rei would be the man he'd grown up with.
But not tonight.
Tonight Rei stared at the winking stars and felt the pull of his old life. The life before he'd returned to his home village to settle down after spending his teenage years adventuring. The life before he'd given up his beyblade and replaced it with the tools of a carpenter.
Tonight he felt the pull of the bond he shared with Kai.
Rei stared at the observing stars. He knew they saw the bond, stretching through years and distance. He knew that, to them, his bond was as real and solid as the half-finished table he'd devoted himself to over the past month. He knew that they could see the patterns and intricacies that kept the bond alive and strong, even so many years after it was first established. He knew that they could see how deeply it was anchored inside him- something unbreakable and permanent.
He also knew that the winking stars didn't give a damn. They were close enough to see the bond but too far away to feel it.
Rei felt it. He wasn't always aware of it, of course. Too many years had passed for Kai to be constantly on his mind. Life had to be lived in the present.
But every now and again, when the stars shined in that certain way, he felt it. He felt the regret of a life unlived. He felt that last, gentle kiss he and Kai had shared. The kiss that said everything they couldn't say to each other.
I don't exist without you. Please don't leave me.
He felt the last shock as crimson met gold in silent acknowledgement of two worlds shattering.
He felt the way his soul had died when Kai had set his shoulders and turned away for the last time, walking away without a backward glance.
Rei knew the stars could see the unbreakable bond he shared with Kai. The bond of the life they could have lived together.
-o-
Kai stared out of his office window. He didn't know why he bothered, the thick smog and the glaring lights of the city prevented him from seeing anything other than the dark blue-grey of the sky.
Sometimes he wished he lived somewhere he could see the stars.
Sometimes he wished he could live somewhere where the harsh, fluorescent lights of the office didn't count as his sunlight. Sometimes he wished he'd never met Rei.
He looked at the half-finished report and the angry, blinking cursor on his computer. He'd been working on it for the past month, researching and tweaking it so when he presented it to his shareholders they couldn't refuse.
It wasn't that he cared that much about the project he was proposing. After so many years as the caretaker of his company, all things seemed to blend into one long cycle of research, report and presentation.
It wasn't that he cared. It was a desire to never be less than perfect.
A desire that his heart could never live up to.
And so, sometimes, he couldn't concentrate on his work. Sometimes, he felt the irresistible tug of the unseen stars and the painful pull of his bond with Rei.
It didn't happen often. It had been years since he'd seen the other man. Years since he'd heard the other's voice. Years since he'd felt Rei's hands, gently squeezing his shoulder in solidarity, caressing his cheek with affection, letting him know that there was someone in this world who loved him.
Time and distance were supposed to ravage the bonds between people but it hadn't touched the bond that lived deep within Kai's heart. It couldn't hurt that unbreakable bond that connected him to the only person he'd ever loved.
It couldn't touch the man whom Kai's soul had recognised instantly.
Still, Kai wasn't always aware of the bond. His life had to be lived. Even the tedium of the boardroom with its constant meetings and politics had to be dealt with in the present.
But sometimes, when the monotony became too much, Kai looked at the sky and felt the pain of the bond anchored so deeply within him. He felt the regret of a life unlived.
He felt that moment when gold had met crimson in understanding and heartbreak.
He felt the acute pain of their paths, so closely intertwined as to be almost indistinguishable from each other, tearing apart as they realised that they had their own lives to live.
Lives that didn't include each other.
Most of all, he felt the pain of his soul's severance as their lips met for the last time in a gentle kiss that said everything they couldn't say to each other.
I died just now. The person who leaves here tonight isn't me. The real me is too much a part of you to be anywhere but by your side.
Kai sighed and closed his eyes, knowing that above the noise and the lights the stars were watching and that they could see the unbreakable bond he shared with Rei. The bond he felt but could never act on.
The unbreakable bond of a life never lived.
Please let me know what you think