When I got thrown into this chaotic wasteland that faithful day, I was nothing. Nobody could've prepared me for this harsh world. Come to think of it, for a long time I doubted anyone could. For weeks I hid away from everyone in Sanctuary. I spent my time crying over old memoires and walking in circles, drowning in self-pity. Then I met MacCready. The night I stumbled into the Third Rail was the very same night I said goodbye to my old life and embraced the new role I had to play.

You see, if there's one thing meeting him has thought me it's this : in order to survive there is no room for playing nice, charity, justice or blind trust. You dispense it to the select few who earn it but most of all, to those who teach you how to survive. But he did more. He thought me how to live again. How to adapt to this new world without going insane. I know I took some radical chances in the last months, but I regret nothing. The way I see it, you either grow a spine and tackle anything the world throws at you or you let the wastes chew you up and eat you alive. With him at my side, I felt secure. I didn't want to lose that feeling. It was the only real thing I had felt since I woke up.

Two more hours until sundown. I was leaning against the balcony on the rooftop of Hubris Comics, taking in the view.

'Job's done. We've cleared the surrounding area, I think it's safe to say we can rest a bit. Hell, we've earned it.'

'You know it. Want one, boss?' He walked up next to me and stretched out his hand holding a pack of smokes. He assumed the same position as me. This habit of calling me 'boss' never stopped, even though I told him my name was Catherine about a hundred times. It's a merc thing I guess.

'Gladly.' I took a golden flip lighter I found in a bar out of my left pocket and lit it up. I took a puff. In the last months that have passed I had taken up smoking again. In a world where every step can lead to your death, I figured it was stupid to pay attention to your health.

'Tell me something, do you ever just think of leaving this life behind?' I blew out the smoke slowly, away from his face.

He groaned. 'Don't ask stupid questions, Catherine.' He turned his face away from mine and lit one up himself. From the way he reacted I knew what he meant. But I wanted to hear him say it. I needed it right now. So I tugged on his shoulder, trying to make him face me again.

'I mean it, man. You ever think about quitting on me?'

He raised his hands in despair. 'What? You think I'd rather be pissin' away my caps in Goodneighbor? Hell, I'm used to living on the road by now. We've been through so much shit together, you think I'd quit on us now?' He shook his head, like he couldn't believe what I just asked him.

As I didn't want to ruin the mood with more pointless questions, I parked myself in a dark red sofa and started rummaging through my bag. He continued staring in the distance, looking a bit lost in thought. I found a holotape I picked up earlier in the store beneath us, but I had no idea what it was. I put the tape in my Pip-Boy and a song started playing.

He turned his head instantly. 'Hey, wait a minute. What was that sound? I could swear...'

I narrowed my eyes and read it out loud. '"Grognak the Barbarian". Hmm. Looks like something out of a cartoon or something. Well, we can probably sell it for a shitload of caps!'

He threw the cigarette off the balcony. 'Cath, are you kidding me? That's the game of one of my favorite comic books!' he exclaimed. I had no idea what he was on about, but he sounded like I had just made the find of the century. But he did call me by my name, so he must be serious.

'Can I play?' He acted like an excited child on Christmas, his eyes wide. I don't think I've ever seen him like this in the past months. He shuffled closer with light speed and before I realized it we sat shoulder to shoulder on the sofa. Blinded by his excitement he brutally grabbed my Pip-Boy with both hands.

He let out an exciting laugh. 'Oh man, why didn't you tell me this sooner? I didn't know this fancy watch of yours could play games!' He started pressing buttons, switching gears and tapping on the screen.

'Hey, don't break it!' I told him, but he didn't hear me. I had officially lost control of my arm. I couldn't do much besides stare at him and his fascination for the game.

'Can I... get my arm back?' I asked after a good five minutes. He ignored me. Playfully. He looked up at me and shook his head. 'Just a little while longer?' I sighed and smiled.

Moments like these were painful to see for me, but I would never let it show. This kind of innocence I saw in him stood in such a cynical, dark contrast with what our daily lives actually consisted of. It forced me to face the reality of how the world had changed. Aside from that, the more comfortable he became around me, the more I cared about him. And thus the more afraid I grew of losing him.

'I'm serious, I need it. It saves our lives you know. It tells us when there's radiation and it tells us where we are. Oh and it also does a variety of other-'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I've heard that all before. This is way more important.' He continued to play like he didn't had a care in the world. We had to be going, it was about to get dark. I wasn't about to give up, let alone always let him have his silly little way. With one firm tug I released my arm from his grasp.

'Oh no you didn't. I was about to get to the second stage!' He tried to grab it again. I wasn't about to start a tug war with the only device that was able to let me survive out here. I held my arm as far away as possible from him.

'Though luck.' I laughed and raised an eyebrow, dangling my Pip-Boy teasingly in the air. A grin formed on his lips. A grin I knew all too well. A grin, that I have to admit, helped me trough some pretty dark days and nights before.

'You devious little minx, have you no soul? Maybe this is why I like hanging out with you so much.' His tone was playful.

'Oh, do you now? Interesting. But clearly you don't know me at all.' I played along. I couldn't resist.

For a moment, he just sat next to me in silence and I figured he was thinking of some sarcastic reply, but that wasn't the case. Out of nowhere he lunged at my arm, using his whole body in a surprise attack. But he missed. Miserably. It looked almost comical.

'Too slow, MacCready. Too slow.'

I taunted in a serious tone, holding my arm safely behind my neck. His face was inches from mine and there was that grin again. But it faded and he got this serious look in his eyes. Green eyes that suddenly seemed to study the features of my face. Quite intently I might add. So close. There's a thin line between feeling just a little bit uncomfortable by one's stare and feeling completely ready to fall into an abyss of the unknown, unsure what's at the bottom. But at that moment, I felt seduced to take one hell of a leap.

Out of nowhere he brushed away a lock of brown hair out of my face.

'I like it when you're this close.' he mumbled, not even flinching.

My upper legs stiffened and I felt a ball of fire raging, seething through my belly. My breath hitched.

'I...'

Gunfire. It echoed through the streets like fireworks on the fourth of July.

'Watch out!' He yelled, yanking me down on the floor by my neck. Quickly we repositioned ourselves with our back against the balcony. We looked each other in the eyes. Stern and focused. We've been through this a countless times. One of the raiders must've survived our little rampage from earlier. Maybe more. Time to dance.

But first : music. It was a mental thing; it helped me focus. One flick of a button and I was set.

'Why does the sun go on shining...'

I took the last puff of my cigarette and threw it away. Strangely out of place, I still feel the excitement linger from the moment we just had on the sofa.

'Showtime.' I whisper, and wink at him.

I reloaded my trusted sniper rifle. Fast. Steady. After spending many weeks on the road together, we were way past arguing about tactics. We were prepared, always. We had no choice. A few stray bullets flew over our heads. I waited until the gunfire ceased. We had to split up. Do ye old switcheroo as we jokingly called it. One nod from me was all he needed. Silently, he sneaked away from me. He took cover behind the chimney and scouted with his scope.

More bullets came my way.

'Hurry. They're pretty fucking pissed off!'

'Relax... Found them. Ten o' clock, two raiders. Male, female.' He fired an accurate shot, right in the male's chest.

'One down!' he shouted.

'Don't they know, it's the end of the world...'

One more to go. I caressed the trigger softly, like one would caress the chest of a lover. Breathe in, breathe out. I break cover, peek over the balcony. I close my right eye and focus. She thinks I don't see her standing over her dead friend's body, but she is wrong. So wrong. I adjust my shoulder to ensure I got maximum accuracy. My breath doesn't hitch. Nnnnow.

I pull the trigger mercilessly. And with one sharp bang, this fight ends. Her lifeless body falls to the ground next to her companion.

'It ended when you said... goodbye.'

'Nice headshot.' He congratulates me as he comes out of hiding.

'Learned from the best.' I reply and I sway my rifle at my back, adjusting my sunglasses. There is a certain attitude you need to survive in this wasteland and I had found it. All thanks to him.

He throws me a humble smile. 'Let's head home?' he asks.

'Good thinking. Enough shooting for today.'

Surprise raider attack or not, I wasn't planning on letting his little stunt be forgotten by it. What did he mean exactly? Was he just joking around like always? I needed answers. And I was sure I was going to get them back at home base.