A/N: This is a crack fic for some friends on Facebook. I hope you guys like it! All Klingon translations are taken from Bing.
Summary: Sam walks in on Cas and Dean speaking Klingon.
Spoken Like a True Klingon
By Kayyaoi/Hannigrahamibal
It was a normal day for Team Free Will. Almost normal. Actually, it was a very strange day.
Team Free Will had just finished up on another case in Ohio. A vampire nest-the end result was not pretty and Dean would have had the stitches to prove it if Cas hadn't healed him.
They had decided to stick around in town for one more day and relax for once. It was rare for them to get a day off and certainly by now the damn well deserved one. Sam objected at first, saying that they should move on, but the other two hunters managed to win him over eventually.
So here they were, sitting on the edges of their beds with half empty beer bottles in their hands and bored expressions staring at a standard def television as Dean flipped through the channels. Sam groaned in disbelief when his brother stopped on the Sci-fi channel and he turned and gave his brother the look. The Star Trek theme played on the television on the Enterprise whoosed by.
"Are you serious, Dean?" Sam said in the whiniest voice a sasquatch of a grown man could have. Dean smirked at him and Cas kept his eyes on the screen.
"What's the matter, Sammy," Dean began, "Klingons too scary for ya?"
"Oh, haha."
Sam stood and walked over to the motel room door, picking up his jacket froom the floor in the process. He picked up the keys to the Impala from the small table by the door.
"I'm going to the diner down the street. You want anything?"
"Bring Cas and I both some burgers." Dean said. "And pie. Don't forget the pie, Sammy."
Sam rolled his eyes at him before opening the door and leaving the room.
Dean turned to Cas, surprised to see the angel focused on the screen.
"Cas, don't tell me you're actually watching this." A smile crept onto Dean's face when the angel didn't respond. "Cas!"
The trenchcoated man jumped and nearly slipped off of the edge of the bed.
"This show is interesting, Dean." Said Cas. "I like it."
Dean was baffled. "You like Star Trek?" He said in disbelief, blinking for measure. This had to be a dream. There was no way that Cas could like something like Star Trek. He barely understood how to use his phone. How would he understand what each of the instruments were used for?
"You're not gonna start speaking Klingon on me are you?"
"What?" A puzzled expression crossed Cas' face. "Klingon? How do you speak it? Can you teach me?"
Dean was take aback. He was only joking. There was no way Cas wanted to learn Klingon. The mere thought of it was too funny for words. Dean was able to suppress the laughter that threatened to burst from his lips, but he couldn't keep the wide grin from spreading on his face.
"I was only joking, Cas." Dean said. "But if you really wanna learn, I guess I could teach you a little." Dean was secretly a Star Trek fanatic. He had waited many years for this moment.
"Yes. Please." Cas said with a smile.
Sam returned to the motel about twenty minutes later, two slightly greasy brown bags full of food in his arms. He shut the door to the Impala and walked a few short steps to their room. When he opened the door, he couldn't believe his own eyes. He had to blink to make sure he wasn't dreaming or hallucinating. Or both.
Dean and Cas were sitting next to each other on one of the beds huddling together, a notepad in between them. There were words written on it that Sam couldn't quite make out, but he was at least sixty-seven percent sure that they weren't in English.
"-And you know that joke you failed at telling us that one time?" Sam heard Dean say. "Well, in Klingon it would be 'yergho HurDaq QojmeH SoH je goat nuj'." A pair of laughs ecohed throughout the room. Sam set the bags down on the table.
"What the hell are you doing?" Sam said, eyebrows raised in an expression that clearly showed disapproval with a hint of confusion. Dean and Cas raised their heads and turned them to look at Sam.
"We're practicing speaking Klingon." Cas said. It was true, but that didn't mean that it needed to be said. Dean and Cas were suddenly encountered by the sassiest of Sam's bitchfaces. It was incredible.
"You two are dorks, you know."
"Says the big man on campus." Dean retorted. "Don't talk like that about Star Trek."
"You wanna go, Dean?" Sam said, bitchface still at maximum power.
"Bring it, sasquatch." Dean said as he stood. He didn't know that Sam could move as fast as he did and he was suddenly met with his brother's chest directly in his field of vision.
Dean slowly tilted his head up and met the bitchface full on.
"DaHjaj loQ bitch."