Disclaimer: I do not own "Lie to Me."

Author's Note: For those of you that read my stuff, you know I am a whumping writer. XD So, I was thinking of different approaches of whumping (I haven't posted something for awhile...) and I came up with a psychological/emotional sort of angle for Mr. Eli Loker. Here 'tis! Hope you enjoy and, as always, please review. ;)

1. The Battle Against Insanity

Eli's eyes roved over the screen for the forty-fifth time, making sure he didn't miss anything. He'd already been scolded by Lightman for missing obvious signs of lies and guilt in a previous video he'd analyzed; he didn't want a repeat. But, it was so hard to concentrate, as his mind was flooded with much different and distracting thoughts and his fatigue wasn't helping in the least. Sure, he could've explained to his boss what was going on, but he didn't want to. There was no need to bother his coworkers with his own personal stories, even if he was on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

"Hey, how's the analysis goin'?" Ria asked as she strode into the room. Eli quickly replaced his troubled guise with his usual cheery one.

"Slow; I'm making sure I've got every little thing so Lightman doesn't freak out on me again." he sighed, staring at the screen.

"Oh, yeah, I heard about that..." she mumbled. "Tough."

"Tell me about it." he muttered. Silence soon followed and Ria found herself examining the videos as well. A twitch...a fake smile...and Eli wasn't recording any of it. In fact, Eli was hardly doing anything at all.

"Hey, did you see that?" she inquired rudely, seeing him jump and knowing immediately that he had fallen asleep. "Come on, this is no time for a nap." Her tone came out as a growl and Eli's face cringed painfully at her harshness. Fortunately, she couldn't see his front and he easily thought up an excuse.

"Sorry, it's just a little monotonous." he told her softly, some sort of emotional monster threatening to bleed through in the form of sobs.

"Yeah, well, you're lucky I'm not Lightman; he's already ticked at you." she scolded, her lips pursing angrily. It was one thing if Eli was sick, but he was just being lazy and careless. He'd been that way for the past few days and it was really starting to bother her; if he was bored with his job, why didn't he just quit?

"Sorry..." he whispered again, staring up at the screen and attempting to sit up straight. She was quiet as she realized she had nothing further to say.

"Stop messing around and get some work done." she spat and left the room quickly. Eli slumped in his seat, his eyebrows pulled up in anguish. Why did misfortunes always bring their family and friends? All he needed was a kind word...and he'd even lost that from Foster. Ria had been the most patient with his spacey behavior. Lightman had been lecturing him since day one and Foster cracked on day two; at least Ria had withheld her frustration for four days.

He couldn't blame them: he was holding up all their work! Everything seemed to take him three times as long and, more than enough times, he was found dozing against his keyboard. If he had thrown in his melancholy mood, the team would've been suspicious...but he'd done well to hide it away. Eli didn't want suspicions, he didn't want worried stares or time off...he just didn't want anybody to know. It was his own issue and he would deal with it by himself.

"Worry and Lightman? No way." he scoffed, smirking as if he'd already lost his control on emotions. One second he would smirk, the next he would feel like crying. In fact, that's just what he wanted to do right now.

Eli stood from his seat and paused the video, wandering out of the analysis room and heading to the bathroom. He walked along the wall and rubbed at his temple continually to hide his upset expression. This time he couldn't get rid of it, he just hoped he wasn't seen.

Luckily, he was the one and only person in the bathroom. He hid himself in a stall, closed the toilet lid and sat on it, pulling up his legs so nobody could see his feet. For once, he wanted to go unnoticed...he didn't want to recite his blunt Radical Honesty. The current struggles of his life already made him feel small and insignificant, but that's what he wanted to be: ignored.

He pressed his face to his knees as his body shook with silent sobs. He may have wanted to be overlooked, but he hated that he was letting down his coworkers. Perhaps it would be better if he marched into Lightman's office and asked for some time off. Actually, marching sounded exhausting...more like trudge.

Get yourself together, Eli. You don't have time for this! If you lose it now, what good will that do? he coached himself, taking deep breaths as he tried to calm himself. He heard a couple pairs of feet walk into the bathroom and Eli shrank further in his own shadow.

"This was my only clean shirt." one man growled, who Eli recognized as Doug: his lab coworker. "I hope Lightman won't mind if I wear a polo shirt for a couple of days."

"So much for taking a coffee break..." the other grumbled, the faucet beginning to run. "I wasn't planning on half of it getting on me. Sorry about your shirt; I didn't expect it to splash so far."

"Nah, that's okay. I can always ask Eli if I can borrow a shirt." Doug replied.

"That's assuming Lightman will keep him around for a couple of days." the other man snorted as he turned off the faucet.

"What are you talking about?" Doug demanded. Eli didn't think of the two of them as close, but they were good enough friends for working together.

"With all the slip ups he's been pulling, I don't think Lightman can tolerate him much longer. Even Foster is getting irritated with him." said the mystery man.

"Yeah, whatever. Eli's just in a bit of a rut." Doug defended. "He'll be back to himself eventually."

"Meh, whatever you say, man." the stranger said and his footsteps trailed out of the bathroom. Doug let out a sigh before he followed and left Eli alone again.

Don't think about it, Eli. Just get back to work; ignore it. You can't afford to worry about anything else or you're going to kill yourself. he thought, pulling his emotions back together and preparing his appearance for the public. Once he left the bathroom, nobody could tell he was teetering on the cliff of losing his mind.

Nobody could tell he was dying inside.

"Of course, he's not here when he should be." Foster sighed irritably, putting her hands on her hips and staring at the paused video.

"Oh, hey, Foster." Eli greeted as he came from behind her. "Need something?"

"Cal and I want to talk to you." she said curtly, causing him to pause before seating himself down. Could this be it? Were they going to fire him only after four days?

"Umm..." His voice was beginning to shake.

Don't lose it now; you've gone this long without anyone suspecting anything. he told himself.

"Alright." he mumbled and Foster turned abruptly to head out the door. He had the impression he was supposed to follow and trailed behind her with his head bowed and his inner voice coaxing him that everything was going to be fine.

Before he knew it, he was in Lightman's office, being motioned to sit down while Foster took her place behind Lightman. Both of them stood with crossed arms, drilling their stare into his face. He knew they could see his fear, his panic...but the magnitude of it, they weren't able to comprehend.

"You're making too many mistakes, Loker." Lightman stated. "You can't be careless on this job."

"We're doing things that are too important to miss some obvious details." Foster added.

"You're neglecting your responsibilities." Lightman stated, raising his eyebrows and looking at Loker with a disappointed disposition.

"I-I know...I-I'm trying to focus." Eli stuttered, that crazy emotion monster threatening to pull him down again.

"Yeah, well, you should be trying harder." Cal scolded, narrowing his eyes.

"Perhaps it would be better if you took some time off." Gillian said softly, sorrowed by the twinge of betrayal on Eli's face.

"But, I need this job!" Eli told them desperately.

"We're not paying you anything; time off won't do anything to you." Lightman sighed. Eli stared at the floor, tears threatening to come.

"Maybe you're right..." Eli muttered, astonishing his bosses. "The stress of this job right now is just..." He squeezed his eyes shut as his brain fought to find the right word. "It's just...overwhelming for me right now." Foster stepped forward as she began to recognize little signs of a broken man.

"Don't say anything, Dr. Foster." Eli demanded, holding up a hand as soon as she'd opened her mouth. "I-I'll just collect a few things and get out of here." Eli pushed himself up wearily and exited the room, rubbing his eyes.

"Something's not right." Gillian thought aloud. Cal looked at her and took a deep breath.

"Based on that li'l scene, I'd say Loker is going mad..."

Ria strolled into the analysis room with a box of Chinese takeout in her hand and a pair of chopsticks in the other. She leaned in for a bite as she continued to walk in, but stopped mid-chew as she saw Eli pulling his things together in a sluggish fashion.

"What's going on? Where are you going?" she asked, gulping down her food.

"I'm, uh, just taking some time off." he mumbled. "It'll be good for me."

"When are you coming back?" she asked.

"..." He stayed silent as he flipped his book bag closed.

"Why are you leaving?" she probed, hoping for more answers. "Did Lightman tell you to go?"

"He thought it was a good idea." Eli sighed as he stood up and adjusted the bag on his shoulder. "But, really, it's just..." He looked up at Ria. "I...I can't handle this right now." His eyes glanced away from hers and he passed by her, still avoiding any eye contact. For awhile she couldn't process what just happened, then she finally turned around just in time to see the slumped figure disappear around the corner.

"Eli, wait!" Ria called, jogging after him in her high heels. He continued to plodding towards the door, his head bowed. "Wait!" she repeated, finally able to reach out her arm and grab his shoulder. He stopped and turned partially to face her, acting as though he had just noticed her following him.

"Do you need anything?" she inquired, now feeling a little guilty for lecturing him earlier in the day.

"No, I—" he began.

"Are you sure?" she interrupted. "I mean I'll be happy to help..." His phone rang and he reached for it. "...it's the least I can do. After all, you've been so nice to me and all..."

"I really have to answer this." he muttered, looking up at her.

"Oh, okay."

She waited patiently as he answered the phone.

"Hey, Evin; how is he?" he mumbled, his expression turning to one of worry. Ria studied him curiously as he listened to a frantic voice on the other end. "I-I'll be right there." Eli said quickly. "No, Evin, listen; I'll be right there." Ria's face twitched with confusion as Loker's breathing became panicked and he nearly dropped his phone upon hanging up.

"Is everything okay?" she queried, examining him seriously. Eli looked like he was at the end of his rope and about to faint.

"I-I can't talk now, I've got to go." he explained swiftly, slipping his phone in his pocket and running out of the door. Ria stood stunned in the hallway, then looked around her in search of either Lightman or Dr. Foster. Lucky: Dr. Foster was just making her way down the hall with a busy sort of demeanor.

"Foster!" Ria called out, snatching the attention of the older woman.

"What is it, Torres?" she asked as the protégé met up with her. "Did Eli already leave?"

"Did he say something to you?" Ria asked immediately.

"Why? What's going on?" Foster questioned, staring at the young woman.

Author's Note: Please review! Tell me what you think: good? Or no? What say you?