Ranma's Wives: Nerima Wrecking Crew Edition! – By Ocramed
Disclaimer: R1/2, SM, ST and other properties belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a two-part story. C&C are welcomed.
Special Note: This is a side-story to "Ranma's Wives".
Part 1
Ranma Saotome was reading the latest issue of "Sports Illustrated" (International Edition) in his lounge chair, in the back of his house in Nekomi Ward, when he felt a familiar sensation of pain.
WHAM!
"Ow!" Ranma yelled. He then turned towards the culprit.
"Woman, what hell was that for?" Ranma asked.
"These," Akane said, as he tossed a stack of old letters and photographs.
"Um, where did you-?"
"Never mind that!" Akane said angrily. "You've slept with my sisters!"
"Okay…"
"And you slept with Ukyo, Shampoo…and…and KODACHI!"
"Alright…"
"And….you slept with Ryouga, Mousse…and KUNO!?"
"That…sounds about right," Ranma said. "You're done?"
"RANMA-!"
"Okay, okay!" Ranma said, as he turned to look at his wife. "I get that you're upset and all…"
"'Upset' is not the word I would use," Akane said. "Look, I understand that you have other…women in your life, and I've tolerated it. But this takes the cake."
"Akane, there was a perfectly, logical explanation for this," Ranma said.
"Oh, and what's that?"
"You were dead at the time, little sister," Nabiki said, as she entered the living room.
"Nabiki?" Akane said in a confused manner. "How did you-?"
"Really, you don't think I wouldn't know about these things?" Nabiki said, as she sits down her brief case. "Besides, I was here to have you and 'Ranma-baby' to sign these life insurance documents."
"I still don't think that I need insurance," Ranma groused. "Well, maybe the medical kind…"
"The fact is that you want to make sure that Kenma is taken care of financially, as well as any kids you and Akane might have," Nabiki said.
"I'm not sure about that, given that I'm married to a two-timer," Akane said. "And what is this with you sleeping with my husband?"
"Up until I married Tatewaki, I didn't mind having recreational…sex with Ranma," Nabiki said. "Besides, I am the mother of his children as 'Lokidis'."
"Yeah, right," Ranma said sarcastically. "For the record, Leah is my kid, and I adopted the younger version of your male side, named Loki. And, I'm the step-parent of your other kids, back when you were the other Loki."
"Well, not quite," Nabiki said. "Only Vali and Narifi are your step-children. The rest, well…"
"Well, what?"
"Sleipner is your son, Ranma," Nabiki said. "You had been turned into a horse, and forgotten who you were by a Jotun, and, well…"
"Oh, man," Ranma said, remembering the story how Loki turned himself into a mare in order to distract the Jotun from succeeding in fulfilling his contract with the All-Father of the Norse, resulting in the birth of the eight-legged steed named Sleipnir.
"And the others?"
"Partying too much at different times, perhaps?" Nabiki offered.
"So, three of my kids are beasts, while one is half-dead?"
"Sleipnir, Jormungandr and Fenrir prefer to be in their beast forms, for whatever reason," Nabiki said with a shrug. "And Hela is 'undead', not 'half-dead', in spite of what the mortal might say of us."
"Wow," Ranma said. "I really have to make up some lost time to spend with my kids…"
"Okay, okay, anything else?" Akane said, as she felt a headache coming on. "Were you and Ranma married?"
"Yes."
"What?" Akane replied. "You…you would do this to me?"
"Akane, you had passed on, when Ranma and I hooked up," Nabiki said dismissively. "Even so, it was under different guises, even as we were trapped in a virtual world controlled by the machine intelligence. Once that adventure was concluded, we both agreed to an amicable separation, but not a divorce."
"Yeah, so Nabiki can still get a piece of me," Ranma said flatly.
"Not very hard thing to do, I might add," Nabiki said. "But, as I said, ever since I married Tatewaki, Ranma and I have not been intimate."
"But…you're still married to Ranma," Akane said.
"Yes, thanks to the 'Saotome Marriage Act'."
"Oh, yeah, the one where Ranma can marry as many floozies as possible," Akane said. "But…Tatewaki know that you are still married to Ranma, yes?"
"Well, of course," Nabiki said, as she picks up a photo of "Ranko" and her husband Tatewaki in a more intimate poise on Watermelon Island…
"I'm the one who took this picture."
"That's the last favor I'll do for you," Ranma growled.
"We'll see, Saotome."
"How could you?" Akane said to her sister.
"Simply put, I have the welfare of my children to consider," Nabiki said. "Besides, as I said before, everything that I did happened before I married Tatewaki, and I have no intention of sleeping with Ranma in the future."
"Small comfort," Akane said. "Okay, then, what about Kasumi, then?"
"What about me?" Kasumi asked. She walked into the living room with her groceries, before setting it down on the table.
"Did you sleep with Ranma?" Akane asked.
"That is an improper question," Kasumi asked.
"Please," Akane asked again, almost begging. She didn't want to think that her oldest sister would cheat on her…
"Tell me about…you and Ranma," Akane said. "Are you married to him?"
"Of course not, silly," Kasumi said with a gentle smile.
"Oh, thank goodness."
"But we were married in another life."
"WHAT?" Akane said. "How-?"
"Past reincarnation," Ranma said, as he sipped his drink.
"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean, before I was Ranma Saotome, I was Anakin Skywalker," Ranma said.
"You're not saying that-"
"Yes, I was Darth Vader in another life," Ranma said. "BWAH-HAHAHAHAHA-!"
BAM!
"Ow!" Ranma yelled, after he had gotten socked in the jaw by Akane.
"Kasumi, can you explain this…thing to me?" Akane said, with a tight lip.
"From…what I can understand, I was once a princess named Padme Amidala," Kasumi said thoughtfully.
"So, the 'Star Wars' prequels were based on your life?"
"Not entirely," Kasumi said. "Mr. Lucas had taken some liberties. I was never a 'queen', but I did lead a rebellion against the Trade Federation. Anakin and Padme did get married, but, the marriage ended when he became Darth Vader. And I would re-marry Prince Bail Organia of Alderaan in order to hide the fact that I was pregnant with Anakin's children."
"So, you did not die because you lost the will to live?" Akane asked.
"Of course not," Kasumi said. "That's just silly."
"So, how much of 'Star Wars' is true?" Akane asked Ranma.
"About 80 percent," Ranma replied. "Things like 'Alderaan' blowing up is still true, although, I learned later that Davros, the creator of the Daleks, merely used the destruction of Alderaan as a pretense to teleport the planet as a part of his elaborate scheme to end the Universe with his 'Reality Bomb'."
"So, where is it now?" Akane asked.
"It's still in the Medusa Cascade, under the direct supervision of the Shadow Proclamation," Ranma said. "The Daleks failed to kill the inhabitants on those stolen planets, and last thing I heard was that Alderaan is leading efforts in establishing a self-governing body or something."
"But…you were involved in Rebellion as yourself, right?" Akane asked.
"Yes," Ranma replied.
"And…no paradox involved?"
"Yep, due to the fact that I didn't know any of my past life at that time, nor would I have created a paradox anyway, due to being a different person," Ranma said. "Go figure."
"Akane, I never meant to hurt you this way," Kasumi said gently. "I have no intention of having an affair, especially since I am married to another."
"I…I believe you," Akane said with a sigh. She then turned towards Ranma.
"I blame HIM, though."
"Whatever, I give up," Ranma said, as he turned to walk away, hoping to avoid more of Akane's ire.
He would be wrong, even as the other proverbial shoe was about to drop…
Tbc.