I woke up the morning after…. Still here. Turns out it was right. I was married to her and I couldn't leave. I was High King and stuck in Fillory. Maybe this is what I needed though. Maybe I needed something to not focus on me and all my shit. I hadn't shaved in a few days, a bit out of character for me. I looked over and saw her laying there. What did she say her name was? Oh, right, Fen.

She was not at all what I imagined I'd be with for the rest of my life. First off she was a she, second admittedly she was very pretty. Like the kind you'd see in magazines back home modeling dresses. This was my life now. For some reason or another this land chose me as king and as king I had to be with her. How do I tell her?

I heard her mumble and roll over… shit.

I sat still hoping she wouldn't wake up. It worked.

I took a deep breath.

"Fen I can't be with you." I whispered. "Fen you're not my type…no."

"Fen I'm….gay…" I kept trying phrases and shooting them down.

"Fen we need to talk….. I can't be with you…. I can't….." I put my head in my hands. Dear God I'm not even actually talking to her and I can't figure it out.

"Eliot, what's wrong?"

I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. It was her.

"Ummm nothing….."

"No one sits there with their head in their hands and has nothing wrong. You look distraught. Is it being king?"

"No… I mean… Yes.. but no…"

"I'm confused."

"I have never been king before. I never thought I'd be married to someone I hardly know."

"Yeah, it was kind of unexpected but we have the rest of our lives. You're our king."

"I know. Everyone I see keeps reminding me of that."

"Well, I can tell you about me if you want to tell me about you."

"There's not much to tell about me." I couldn't just tell her my whole life story…. I hardly knew her and besides the only one who knows my deepest secret is Margo.

I sat there for a while as she told me about her past and how she helped her father with all the domestic duties since her mother was gone. She knew she would stay here and marry the king she just didn't expect it would happen now. She also said she didn't expect he would look as good as me. Which was odd to hear. She was actually attracted to me.

She leaned over and hugged me and attempted to kiss me.

"We need to talk."

"We are talking."

"About me…" I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I'm not what you would expect."

"No, you're not, I figured our next king would not be as good looking or kind as you."

"Fen…. I …." Shit how do I tell her so she will understand. "I'm gay" I sat and awaited her response.

"Gay? Like merry?"

"Gay like, I like men….."

"Oh." She looked ashamed and looked away.

"look, I know this whole king thing has to work and for some reason it chose me but I don't know if I can be the king you want."

"So you are saying you will never love me?"

"I don't know if I can in the way you want."

"Can you try?" She sounded almost desperate at this point.

"Fen…."

"Look as your wife it is my job to serve you and make you happy."

"You shouldn't want to just serve people."

"But I do. I want to make you happy." She half smiled and reached over and took my hand.

"I….." I didn't know what to say.

"Eliot, High King, Your Majesty…" I must admit the last one made me smile a bit.

"Fen…."

"We can figure this out. No one says we have to have a crazy relationship right away."

"Your knife wielding father says we do."

"Well, he's not king, you are." She smiled and hugged me.

"Ok." I conceded just hoping I could find some good wine here. I could get good a buzzed then have nights with her. Maybe that would help.

A few days had passed of just exploring the castle. I had this new land, a castle and a crown and still didn't feel very king like. Of course to everyone else I gave of the air of being royalty all my life.

It was late and everyone had gone off to their rooms. I walked down the hall to my room and could hear her singing to herself. I chose to walk down the other hall and go into Quentin's room.

"What the hell?"

"Q I need your help."

"With what?"

"I have to ummm like love her…"

"what?"

"Fen… I'm supposed to love her and I just can't… well not sober." I looked around the room.

"So drink."

"I can't. There's nothing to drink here."

"Nothing."

"Nothing, no wine, no champagne, no whiskey, there's not even beer here."

"Oh. What about your flask?"

"Gone, the crazy book lady took it."

"What about getting high?"

"Well if I could do that don't you think I would have tried?"

I paced his room trying to think of a solution. The only thing I could think of was just doing it with him.

I looked up at him just standing there looking confused as usual.

"I don't know El." He paused then finally caught me looking at him. "What?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

"What can I do?... Shit El you want me to sleep with her?"

"Not exactly….." I looked away hoping he would get it on his own.
"Then…. Shit!"

"What?"

"You?"

I looked away admittedly a bit ashamed.

"It's ok….." I turned to walk out the door.

"El… I …. We were drunk and…"

"No. Really Q it's ok… I get it." I walked back out into the hall.

"Eliot?" Only one person here called me that. Everyone else called me either El or some form of High King or your majesty or sire.

"Fen."

"It's late."

"Sure is."

"Come to bed."

I took a deep breath.

"You don't have to wait for me."

"I want to. I care about you."

"You hardly know me, you can't care about me."

"But I do. You're our king, you're my king."

"I'm not…." I wasn't sure where this thought was going so thankfully Fen interrupted.

"You are. You have things you are unaware of how to do but you are our king." She walked over and stood in front of me. I could see her face in the light glow of the flame from the hall lights.

I took another deep breath.

"You're our king, you're my king." She repeated as she reached up and wiped a stray tear from my face.

"I don't know how good of a king I'll be."

"You're the king we need that's why the blade chose you."

"I haven't even been able to make a decent champagne."

"You will if it's what you want."

"I don't…." I just looked away.

"Come to bed, we can work on this in the morning."

"Bed?"

"Yes, you need sleep." She took my hand and led me to the room.

I just stood there. "How do you sleep?"

"What?"

"Would you like bed clothes?"

"Ummm. No….."

She walked over and hugged me. Still strange but not as strange as it used to be. She ran her hands from my shoulders to my chest and started unbuttoning my shirt. I took a step back.

"Relax. I'm just helping you get ready for bed. You look exhausted." She finished with the shirt and led me over to the bed. I sat while she took my shoes off and took my pants off myself.

I laid down and could then feel how tired I was. I was almost asleep when I felt a hand on my chest. I sighed.

"Please Eliot." I heard her whisper.

"Fen…."

"Would you prefer I called you El? Like your friends do?"

I sighed again. It had been a good while since I had last had any sexual relations with anyone and admittedly I was a little, shall we say, frustrated.

"High king….El" she whispered.

I could feel my heart beating faster. Normally this wouldn't do anything for me but I was slightly desperate.

She kissed my neck. I was too tired to keep fighting her off. For some reason or another she was bound and determined that she was in love with me.

"Fen."

"El."

She reached up and ran her hand down the side of my face, down my chest, down my side to my leg.

"Fen?"

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

"Just try El." She basically pleaded.

I laid my head back down. It was too much effort to fight her off. She made quick work of undressing me the rest of the way before undressing herself.

"Fen…."

She stayed silent and just ran her hand up the inside of my leg. I'll admit after all I had been through the attention was kind of nice. I closed my eyes. She continued her plan of turning me on. She gently stroked me and I was actually aroused by it.

Her hands were calloused from helping her father.

"High king." She said as she continued her steady motion.

"Fen." At least her name sounded slightly man like.

"El." When she whispered and was focused her voice had a slight raspy tone to it.

"Fen"

"High king Eliot."

"Shit."

"Eliot."

She continued her pace before leaning down and kissing me.

"Fen!"

She let out a little laugh. She was actually enjoying this. I must admit I was enjoying it a bit as well.

"High king Eliot." She said again slowly. She slightly slowed her pace and I felt her move. She ran her hand up my side to my chest. I felt her other hand do the same to the other side till both her hands were on my chest.

I slept with her. I think we both kind of needed it. It may not have been my ideal situation but we both needed some form of release.

I woke up the next morning alone. I got up and slowly got dressed and walked down the hall. I met Quentin halfway down the hall.

"How'd you do it?"

"Do what?"

"You slept with her."

"Yep."

"How?"

"I think we both know how."

"Yeah but you said…."

"I guess I just needed a night of sex."

"For the record I was your first choice."

"Like it's a competition Q. I can't sleep with anyone but her, some rule of this king shit. I swear this shit needs a manual."

"Well then why did you come to me?"

"I was hoping maybe…. Just…. I don't know."

"Oh."

"Look it happened, she will finally relax about sleeping with me and you can relax and just do your sad little nerd king duties."

I smiled at him trying to make him laugh.

"Yeah."

"If it's any consolation, If I could sleep with anyone else you're top of the list." I reached over and hugged him. "I called dibs at Brakebills and that doesn't change."

"What?!"

"Oh yeah, when I first told Margo about you I said you were hot and I called dibs on your nerdy ass so you're mine."

"You can't do that."

"Too late."

"I can't be claimed!"

"Look here Quentin Cyrus, you can be claimed and you are and you're mine so deal." I said in a joking stern tone.

"Why did you claim me?"

"I thought you were hot in that brooding nerd kind of way."

"Wow."

"Yeah turns out I have a thing for sexy little brooding nerds." I laughed and walked down the hall to get some food. "Come on Q you'll miss breakfast."