This story idea was run by me by someone in the fandom, but forgive me I can't remember who, I'm sorry. This is co-written with JMFanatic aka AlvinSevilleIsHOT.
It was almost done! Simon smiled to himself as he jotted down his notes. If this experiment worked, then understanding the complex female mind will be like solving the basic math problem.
He had been working on this for weeks. Had put himself in awkward situations with his female companions and classmates, getting facts and experiences, trying to understand the way females can think both emotionally and analytically at the same time. Something most, if not all, males don't do.
All that awkwardness and brief assumptions on his sexuality had paid off, hopefully. He reread his notes, even though they were already memorized by now.
He turned his gaze toward the vial of hormones he was certain was just enough to be able to think on the same level as their fairer sex. This could be such a huge success; Simon couldn't contain his excitement at getting the test results.
He was glad that he could use this as a science project. He didn't want any more people questioning his sexuality, not that he'd blame them.
Gingerly, he held up the vial, no longer than his pinky, and swirled it around. He had to condense it into pills or something, drinking it, especially this amount, could have catastrophic results.
He checked the clock on the wall, and after realizing it was almost midnight, he decided to wait on the next step. He was lucky to not have messed anything up, working this late. He needed to rest and come back to this project refreshed. He pocketed the vial and gathered up his paperwork.
He would work out any other kinks once he got home tomorrow…
The front door to the Seville house was opened harder than necessary, three young chipmunks filing in shortly after. The leader of the trio tossed his backpack into the den, where he'd already planned to do his homework later, before storming into the kitchen.
The other two shook their head at their brother's back before following more calmly. "Honestly, Alvin, you put it on yourself," Simon spoke up as he watched Alvin rummage through the fridge for something to snack on.
Theodore ushered Alvin to the table so he could make them all a snack, choosing to remain quiet as his brothers chatted. Alvin sat himself down and glared at Simon. "Why do you always say that?"
Simon took a seat opposite of his irritated brother. "Probably because it's true," he said matter-of-factly as he began digging through his backpack. "Who else causes you this type of frustration?"
Alvin had to resist the urge to pout as he crossed his arms. He chose to scowl instead and grumbled out, "You." He turned his gaze to watch Theodore making sandwiches. He sighed, reaching up and removing his cap with one hand to run the other through his hair.
Simon simply hummed in response before pulling out a pharmaceutical book. After looking through the index, he flipped to the desired section, one that would tell him how to make his pills. "So, I cause you to pile all these commitments onto yourself? I hadn't realized," he spoke dryly as he read through the paragraphs.
Alvin blew out a breath, resting his elbows on the table and placing his palms against his eyes. "No...I didn't say that. You asked who else causes me frustration...I said you. Today, it was Mr. Simmons because he decided to pair me with Brittany for a class project." He rubbed his eyes before sitting back and watching his brother. "You can imagine how that worked out..."
Simon glanced up at him. "Did you two get any work done?"
"Nope. We got sent to the principal's office for disrupting the class because we kept arguing about something stupid."
Theodore set down their sandwiches, an apple for each of them, and a bowl of potato chips. He then sat down beside Simon to continue listening in.
"I don't know why he even paired us up," Alvin continued. He spun his apple on the table absently. "Everyone, including the teachers, knows we don't work well together."
"Perhaps that's why," Simon said, grabbing his apple. "I'm assuming he wants you two to work past your differences by forcing you to work together on something that depends on the both of you for its success."
Alvin snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah right...the only thing Brittany and I can do together successfully is perform a song. And that's while we're fighting for the spotlight." He took a bite of his apple. "The only thing this will accomplish is my grade going down further..." He rubbed the bridge of his nose before exhaling in annoyance.
Simon took a bite of his apple as well. "Or you could try to ignore Brittany's antics and focus on your work?" he said, knowing the answer before he even heard it.
Alvin was ready to reply, the knowing look in Simon's eyes was practically daring him to say it. But he didn't. He was frustrated, tired, and dammit all he had a killer headache! "Like hell I'm gonna let her run all over me!" He piled some chips onto his plate, grabbed it and his apple and left the kitchen. A few seconds later, the TV was on, playing WWE.
Theodore hummed. "That went better than expected."
Simon chuckled lightly and shook his head. "I agree." He proceeded to eat his lunch while reading and conversing with Theodore. Once he was done, he stuffed his book back into his bag. He stood, slipping the strap onto his shoulder. "I'll be in my lab." With that, he headed to the basement. Today was the day. The hormones were complete; all that was left was putting them in pill form. It would be done by tonight. He could barely contain the excitement coursing through him.
Once in the basement, he retrieved his vial from his bag along with the pharmaceutical book and went to his setup. With the information out in front of him, he went to work developing his pills.
It was hours before Simon emerged from his lab, a small bottle in his hand. He stared at it with a smile and peered at the six small white pills inside. This was it; he had successfully completely his project. Things didn't get much better. Now all he needed were his test subjects…but that would have to wait.
He capped the bottle and glanced around, noticing the lack of light in a nearby window. "Hm, when did that happen?" he spoke softly before looking at his watch. It was nearly time for dinner. That didn't take as long as he thought it would. He headed upstairs to his room; he'd have to get his homework done before dinner.
Alvin just finished showering and was in his room doing his usual routine. He applied some lotion and a touch of axe to his somewhat damp body before pulling on a tank top and a pair of red and yellow plaid Pajama bottoms.
His head was killing him. If the shower didn't work, he knew he'd need some medicine. He left his room and checked the cabinet in the bathroom. Nothing. Maybe Simon had some. He paused for a moment, but the insistent throbbing overruled his pride and he knocked on his brother's door.
A short moment later, Simon's voice sounded from inside the room. "Come in!"
Alvin entered the bedroom, keeping the door ajar and walked towards his brother. "Hey," he began, stuffing his hands into his pockets to keep from rubbing his temples. "You have any medicine for headaches?"
Simon sat at his desk quickly scribbling answers to his homework down. He paused and turned to look at his brother for a moment before nodding toward his nightstand. "There in the top drawer. I only have a few left; you can have them." He turned back to his work. "Is it bad?"
Alvin moved to the nightstand and looked through the mentioned drawer. "Terrible. Nothing is making it go away." He found a small container and pocketed it, sliding the drawer shut. He went back over to Simon, watching him write. He didn't want to distract him, but he also didn't want to just get the meds and leave. He just didn't know what to say besides thanking him. He really needs to spend more time with his brother, he realized.
Simon glanced up briefly, noticing Alvin was still there. "Was there something else you needed?"
Alvin hesitated before shaking his head. "No, thanks for the pills. I'll see you at dinner." He left the room, shutting the door carefully before going to the bathroom to get some water. He pulled the container from his pocket and counted how many Simon gave him. Six. Two should be fine. He popped it open and placed two into his mouth before following up with a couple gulps of water. Feeling better knowing his headache will be gone soon, he headed downstairs to see how dinner was coming, placing the container back in his pocket as he did so.
Downstairs, Dave was preparing dinner with Theodore's help. He was currently fixing a salad while Theodore tended to the pots on the stove. "How's that soup coming, Theo?" he asked while adding sliced cucumbers to the lettuce.
Alvin went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.
"It's just about done, Dave." Theodore took a small taste and smiled to himself, more than pleased.
"Good, good." Dave mixed carrots into the salad. "So, Alvin, how was your day?" he asked, glancing over at his son.
Alvin drank some water, content with the taste. He hated faucet water. He took a moment to examine his father, wondering if his teacher had contacted Dave, hence the question.
"It was fine. How was work?" He took another sip, going over to the cutting board Dave was working on and eating a piece of leftover carrot.
"It was fine." Dave eyed Alvin as well. "Did anything interesting happen at school today? A new class topic, maybe?"
Alvin was glad he was a pro at keeping his cool. He was internally freaking out, trying to figure out if he should deny the insinuation. The dull ache of his head told him to just get it over with.
"I'm sure you already know. What do you expect when Brittany and I are paired up?" He paused briefly. "Something interesting always happens." He was smiling now.
Dave nodded and smiled lightly. "Ok, it's fine. Just try not to make this a normal occurrence. I can allow it once, but that's about it," he said.
Alvin nodded, "Okay. No promises." Theodore bit back a laugh. Typical Alvin.
Alvin saw the look his comment received and he simply grinned before hurrying from the kitchen and into the den.
Dave sighed and shook his head. That's all he could ask of Alvin.
Simon finally finished his homework. He made good time as he managed to get it all done before he was called down for dinner. He left his room and went downstairs to the den. He smiled a bit when he saw his brother inside. "Hey," he said, taking a seat on the couch. "Any relief yet?"
Alvin glanced at his brother briefly before looking back at the TV. "Not yet. I took a couple more a few minutes ago." He prepared himself for the scolding.
Simon's brow furrowed as he glanced at his watch. "A few minutes ago? It hasn't been long enough since you took the first two, Alvin." He frowned.
Alvin shrugged. "The first two weren't doing anything." He shot a reassuring smile at Simon. "Don't worry. I'm not gonna take anymore."
Simon narrowed his eyes. "You'd better not, or it won't just be your headache you'll have to worry about."
Alvin waved him off, knowing he wouldn't be needing the last two. He was feeling something; it wasn't the usual relief from a headache he was used to. It was different, and he wasn't sure he wanted to risk anymore medicine.
Sighing, Simon turned to watch TV as well. He was sure his hard-headed brother would be the death of him one day, or at least cause him to turn gray. But it wouldn't be Alvin if he didn't do things his own way.
The following day, Simon sat at the kitchen table with his notes open in front of him. Now that he had his hormones completed, he was going to need test subjects. He had a new page writing out all the conditions that needed to be met in order for someone to qualify. He also needed a time frame to observe his subjects to see how long the effects lasted and if they matched the notes he had gotten from his female counterparts. He would present his findings at the expo later this year; he couldn't wait.
Alvin sighed as he headed downstairs. He'd had the worst sleep of his entire life, including all those times he'd been sick. He rubbed at his eyes, hoping he didn't look as tired as he felt.
He entered the kitchen and grabbed a cup and the orange juice from the fridge. He noticed Simon at the table, jotting something down in his usual hurried scrawl. Alvin shook his head almost fondly as he approached Simon with his juice. He examined all the paperwork. "What's all this?"
"My latest project," Simon answered, looking up at Alvin with a smile. "I developed hormones to allow men to think like women so we can further understand them." He looked back at his notes. "Now that I have the hormones completed, I'm writing up a detailed plan for testing."
Alvin took a drink from his juice before replying. "Interesting. That's a pretty cool idea. It's about time men learned to understand us." He moved to drink some more of his juice, but froze when he processed his own words.
Simon blinked. Did he just say 'us'? He looked up at his brother with a raised brow. "I'm sorry?"
Alvin was shocked by both what he'd said and the fact that the scrutinizing look he was so used to receiving was making him blush slightly.
"I-I said, it's cool. We should learn to understand women better..." He tried to make a joke about it, because that look was not wavering. "Can you imagine the conversations we'd have with the Chipettes?" He forced a chuckle, being quick to take another drink.
Simon stared at him for a moment longer before humming. "I didn't expect that from you, honestly," he said. "I figured you wouldn't see the point in trying to understand the complexity of a female mind."
Alvin shrugged, finding the assumption more insulting than he'd like. "Well, if you get it to work, I can use it. You know how often a girl tells me I don't understand her or how she feels? I could probably make a relationship last longer than a month with that," he gestured at the paperwork.
Simon chuckled lightly. "That just presented a new case study. The hormones may help men understand women, but I doubt it changes personalities. Would the men in relationships actually put in work to accommodate her needs once they understood them?" He smiled. "That would be great to test."
"They'd better. We're very complex creatures." Alvin caught on quicker to what he'd said, and instead of trying to correct himself, he set his juice down on the table. "I'm gonna go watch...football or something." He hurried from the kitchen.
Simon watched him leave with a furrowed brow. The fact that Alvin was so interested in the first place was surprising. That entire conversation just felt strange, even if Alvin hadn't referred to himself as a female twice. But since he had…
He stood and went to his room, making a beeline for the bedside table. He looked in the top drawer and frowned. He could have sworn he told Alvin to take the entire bottle of medicine with him last night, so why was it still here? He took it out and opened it, noticing the same amount of pills remained inside. This couldn't be good.
He searched for his hormone pills but couldn't spot the bottle anywhere. They were definitely here last night. "Oh, no," he murmured. He left the room and hurried to the den. "Alvin, where's the bottle of pills you took last night?"
Alvin looked at his brother. "I didn't take all of them in one night, don't worry. They didn't do jack for my headache. I left the rest on my nightstand." He turned back to the TV, annoyed that Simon's obvious frazzled and worried expression had him wanting to ask what was wrong and make sure he'd be alright. He shook his head and settled further into the couch.
Simon released a breath. Just as he thought. "They didn't do anything for your headache because they weren't the right pills." He tossed the headache medicine onto Alvin's lap.
Alvin picked the container up, reading the label. The other pills didn't have a label on them. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Simon angrily. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" He tightened his grip on the pills in his hand.
Simon sighed. "I'm afraid so." He shook his head as he rubbed his temples. "Alvin, how could you not think to look for the bottle of medicine you actually recognized? Instead, you take nameless pills and don't even ask what they are?" He had no idea what was going to come from this. Alvin didn't just take one of his hormone pills; he took four. He was beyond worried.
"Excuse me?" He stood and approached his brother. "You're not seriously telling me this is my fault, are you?" He shook the bottle of pills between them. "What genius puts two bottles of pills in the same drawer? Why didn't you mention there were two different types of pills beforehand? This isn't just my fault! It's not even partly my fault!" He was probably overreacting, but he couldn't really help it.
Simon looked at him with a raised brow. "No? Not even partly? It wasn't your responsibility to know what you were ingesting?"
"No! Not when you don't mention 'oh, by the way, there are two different pills, make sure you grab the labeled one'! If I knew, I would have made sure." Alvin groaned and tossed the pills onto the floor. "Whatever. Forget the blame game. What's gonna happen now?"
"I…don't actually know," Simon said, frowning deeply as he stared at his brother. "I hadn't even started the testing phase, and even if I had, you took four pills. That's a lot of female hormones coursing through you right now. There's no telling what could happen."
A mixture of emotions ran through Alvin as he processed what he was told. Simon didn't know what was going to happen... He had female hormones racing through his body... Female hormones... It took all of his self-control not to scream or... dare he admit it to himself...? Cry. Nonetheless, he managed to reign in the onslaught of extra emotions and take Simon's information, or lack thereof, with as much dignity as he could muster. He sighed heavily, and sat back down on the couch, turning the volume down.
Simon watched his brother. He really did feel responsible for this. Something terrible could happen to Alvin, something that could have been avoided if he had made himself clearer. "I'm sorry, Alvin," he spoke as he sat next to him. "I should have been more specific, I admit, and I promise to work around the clock to counteract any side effects." He sighed. "Of course, I have to see what those side effects are, so I'm going to have to keep you under observation."
Alvin didn't have any energy to be a smartass or even give much of a reply. "Sure...whatever helps…" He sat back on the couch, watching the TV with tired eyes.
"If you start feeling anything unusual, let me know so I make note of it. That goes for any changes that may occur."
"Yes, sir," Alvin replied, saluting his brother. "You'll be the first and only to know."