¤¤Help is What I Need¤¤
Chapter #1
Higurashi Kagome tried to stay awake and listen to the lecture being told before her by no other than her principal. Her attention span was turning on and off, and she felt her ears tune out the man's words of little encouragement; she detected a trace of disappointment in his tone.
'So tired…' she thought as she slouched in her chair, only to be snapped awake when her principal's hands slammed on his brown desk in front of her, causing her to gasp and let her red eyes watch him with a bored expression on her face.
"Hai," she said with a nod, trying her best to remember what he had been saying earlier.
The man stood and straightened his red tie. "Miss Higurashi…" he said with a wag of the finger. "You had one of the highest GPA's this school has ever seen," he said while sitting down again. "But not anymore. Your grades have dropped dramatically, and all your teachers have been noticing you take a snooze in class on a daily basis—" He paused. "Or whenever you grace your teachers with your little presence; whichever works."
Kagome yawned, feeling much up to that snooze this very moment. "Uh huh," she said while starting to slouch a second time, but only to be snapped awake again by her principal's hands slamming on his desk. "I'll do my…" She felt her eyes drift shut.
"Miss Higurashi!" the principal yelled while slamming his hands on his desk again, causing his student to sit up with a jerk. "You're so malnourished that you can't even finish your sentences!" he shouted at her, seeming to get nothing back from the girl but a mumble that was incoherent. He exhaled deeply and stared at her deep brown eyes. "Miss Higurashi, do your best to get your grades up or I'll be forced to contact your mother."
Kagome gasped. "But she can't—" Her eyes widened, and she nodded when her principal reached his hand towards the black phone to his right, near the computer, and she knew he meant business. "Yes sir," she said while standing when he pointed to the door. Her hand clutched the report card in her hand.
"Have a look at that report card of yours."
Turning at the closed door, she nodded and took the pressure off the paper. "Yes sir," she said again as he reached for the phone another time in slow motion. 'Telling Mama that I'm not doing well in school will…' She paused and held her head with her right hand. Maybe she was malnourished…
"Have a nice day," the principal said while sitting down. "And look at your attendance record. It's so odd, don't you think?" he said while pointing to the white piece of paper in Kagome's hand. "You manage to make it to school for your first period, and then you just disappear until sixth period…" He looked at her. "Perhaps I should investigate—" He got wide eyes as a reply. "Or trust that you'll be in class from now on?"
Kagome could only nod and quickly open the door, meeting the main office of her school. "I'll work on that," she said as she closed the door, and instantly the smell of coffee, donuts, and ringing phones came to view.
Then the familiar chime rang.
Kagome put a strand of hair behind her ear and checked her watch. She sighed at the time. "Late," she said while leaving the office. She was met with empty hallways. Not a soul was in the green halls of her private high school.
She checked her watch again. 'Thirty seconds late…' she thought as she yawned. "I'll just sleep for awhile, and then get to class." She knew her options were showing how lazy and tired she was, but she was truly lazy and tired deep down. She had become lazy over the past year, and now her principal was taking her matters into his hands.
What was a girl to do in her position? She had a month to improve her grades as much as she could, or else the closest thing to college she'd be getting to is a cash register. And looking at her grades, she needed major help.
"My spot."
"Good morning, Shikon no Tama students. Happy Wednesday! Remember that next Thursday is the last day to buy yourself a dance ticket so you can shake your bonbons and have a good time at the dance next Friday…"
Kagome listened to the morning announcements as she looked down at her report card with a deadly look on her pale face. "I've been absent thirty-seven times for science," she said while crumpling the piece of paper, and then opening it to see the rest of her grades and unexcused absences.
Her head was held in her bony right hand; she was obviously devastated.
Still, she tried to listen to what else was happening in school that day, even if she would miss most of it, causing her principal to go bananas. "Geography—F. Math—D. English—F. PE—F. Science—F." Her eyes brightened at her last grade, but not enough to make her cheer herself on. "Art—A."
Art was the only class she tried her best to show up to everyday. It was one of the only classes she never fell asleep in. "Kaede is so nice to me too…" she said while leaning against the water heater she was seated in front of.
She remembered when she had good grades. She remembered when she was popular. She remembered when as soon as she would break up with a boyfriend that another one would be right around the corner. She remembered when her life was meaningful.
"Not anymore," she whispered as she reached into her brown backpack… pulling out a blade from a pair of scissors. She lifted the sleeve of her green school uniform and angled the blade, ready to strike. She paused when she heard footsteps coming from somewhere.
"Hey! We can ditch up here!"
Her eyes widened, and she quickly grabbed her things and hid behind the water heater. It was dark behind it, for the front half was facing the sun. She decided to take a nap and wait for the intruders on her roof to go to class.
Kagome took in a large gulp of air. 'Home,' she said to herself as she walked up the three steps that led to her condo home. '…But it doesn't feel like home since-' Pausing before even thinking of her father and brother, she put her plain silver key into the lock and turned the doorknob.
She inhaled deeply. She could smell the perfume she had used that morning even if she was just stepping into her home. This was it. A house no, but a home was what it was in her eyes. 'The only place where I feel safe…' The corners of her lips curved upwards.
"Mama," she called as she closed the door behind her with a smile on her face. At least there was one person that appreciated her wellbeing. "Where are you?" she asked as she took off her brown shoes, as well as her backpack. "Did you get off the couch today?"
She ignored the report card.
"In here!" she heard a cheerful voice call, and she took off into that direction. She knew by heart where her mother always was, unless she was rarely in her room. "Kagome-chan, how was school?"
Laughing lightly, Kagome bent over the couch in her living room. It was green and comfy in her mother's perspective, which was the main reason why she preferred it over the twin sized bed in her room. "How was your day?" she asked as she moved a strand of her mother's short hair out of her face, kissing her cheek. "Productive, I hope?"
The woman playfully stuck her tongue out at her daughter. "I wish," she said with a sigh as she looked down at her still legs. "I hope to get out of this place someday soon." She looked at her daughter with sad eyes. "Dear, I need to work. I put too much pressure on you with sch-"
"School is fine," Kagome butted in. "Mama, stop talking like that." Hopping over the couch, she sat in her mother's still lap… that would remain still for the rest of her days. "Any movement?" she asked as she poked her mother's pale white leg.
Mrs Higurashi shook her head. "No dear," she said while lying her head comfortably down on the huge couch's armrest. "I don't think my old legs will ever move again," she said while exhaling deeply. "I'm sorry for making you take care of-"
"Mama," Kagome said with narrowed eyes, and instantly her mother quieted herself. "You're not a burden at all, and it's getting annoying with you telling me this everyday." Standing, she stretched her arms over her head. "Hungry?" she asked as she yawned. "Want something to eat before I have to go to work?"
"…May I go with you today?"
Kagome was utterly shocked. 'Ever since the car accident…' Getting out of the small car that used to belong to her mother, she quickly got the wheelchair from the trunk and went to the passenger's seat. 'Mama's been afraid to leave the house.'
Kagome still smiled and opened the door, ignoring her worries and troubles temporarily. "Careful," she said as she took her mother's hand, lifting her frail body into her arms. She placed the woman in the wheelchair. "Comfy?" she asked as she pushed her mother onto the curb.
"Yes, dear. Why?"
Kagome looked down at the woman, let go of the wheelchair when her mother nodded, and looked to the sky. "We haven't been out together in two weeks—I was just curious, it's nothing to worry about, Mama."
Mrs Higurashi nodded sweetly. "Dearest, you can say all you want, but a crippled woman with the bottom half of her body paralyzed knows when something is going on." She turned around outside of the diner with the smile still on her face. "A mother also knows when it's the appropriate time to talk to her daughter about her troubles—and now isn't," she said knowingly while ushering her eyes to the window.
Kagome peeked into the restaurant through the window. She sighed when the place was full. "You're right," she said as she pulled the door open for her mother, and instantly the smell of smoked sausages came to view on a plate going to a table. "We'll talk later."
After seating her mother closest to the front counter incase she needed anything, she went to the backroom to change… then the eleven hour shift began.
"And it's only three o'clock," she said as she looked at herself in the locker room mirror.
Her uniform consisted of a white shirt that was designed with pink stripes, a white apron stuffed with napkins and straws, black pants, and the ever-so-skillful old fashioned pink rollerblades with four wheels per rollerblade.
This was work, and it ended in eleven hours.
"Here you are," Kagome said with a smile as she placed a plate of pancakes down in front of a man that was grinning at her. "Can I get you anything else?" she asked while setting down the syrup bottle in the middle of the table.
The man shook his head. "Nothing at all," he said while looking at the girl before him up and down. "How about a—"
"Get your eyes off my daughter."
And instantly he turned away, doing his best not to blush. "Nevermind," he said as he poked his pancakes with the fork in his hand. "Thank you for your service so early in the morning."
Kagome only smiled and nodded. "You're welcome," she said as she slowly skated across the restaurant to the front desk. There was a table for two to the side.
"Mama," she said with narrowed eyes for the tenth time that day, and that day had started an hour ago, making it 1:00am. "Every time I serve a man by himself you do the same thing!" she said in a loud whisper so she wouldn't interrupt the man she had just served.
Mrs Higurashi looked up from her crossword. "I don't trust men," she simply said as she continued her fun. She tried being reasonable. "Dear, he was staring at you."
Kagome's mouth dropped. "You act like I was thinking about dating him!" she said as she raised her hands above her head. "Mama! What kind of girl do you think I am? I'm not like girls at school!"
Mrs Higurashi wagged her finger. "Dear…"
Kagome ignored the woman and pulled up a chair. The entire diner was empty, and the only ones in the place were the cook, she, her mother and the pedestrian eating his pancakes quickly after getting a severe warning to leave her alone.
"Want something to eat?" she asked as she took her mother's empty cup of coffee. "Do you feel dizzy? Do you think you're losing blood anywhere?" she questioned, ready to call the paramedics at the slightest nod.
Mrs Higurashi shook her head. "Dear," she began with a sigh. "You shoved two plates full of pancakes down my throat, as well as over a dozen strips of bacon." She looked at her daughter with appreciative eyes. "Darling, sometimes enough really means enough."
Kagome nodded and noticed her mother's bloated stomach. "Gomen…" she said slowly with a yawn. She was temped to lift her arms above the square shaped table and pass out. Someone had called in sick and couldn't work, so she was taking over their shift. Another hour.
And she had to close up.
"Thank you for coming with me today," Kagome said while looking down at her mother in her arms. She had indeed shrunk since she had become paralyzed, but the two were still the same size. "I felt less… alone."
"Dear, you always have me with you," Mrs Higurashi said with a smile while pecking her daughter on the cheek. "I am only not able to go where you go… but I can go if you take me with you." She closed the door behind Kagome as they entered their humble home of a year. "Tired, darling?"
Kagome slowly shook her head and leaned against the tan walls of her home. "The couch?" she said as she led the way with her eyes closed, knowing her house backwards and front.
"You're tired dear, and I don't want you to kill me by trying to carry me upstairs…"
"The couch it is," Kagome said while stopping in front of it and gently laying her mother on it. She grabbed the quilt that was neatly folded on the coffee table and placed it over her mother's crippled body.
"Sweet dreams," Kagome said as she kissed her mother on the forehead.
"Dear, I should be saying those very words to you…"
Kagome looked down at her mother with an emotionless look on her face.
"Get some sleep, Mama," she said quietly as she ruffled her mother's hair and turned out the light. She said nothing more as she silently left her living room and started traveling down the long hallway that would lead to her own room. She hardly ever slept in it, for she preferred her mother's room that was upstairs. Tonight was one of those nights.
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she reached the end of the hallway, a large square that was outlined in dark blue being the only light coming from outside and inside as she turned her doorknob and stepped inside.
"All…" She couldn't finish her own sentences as she closed her bedroom door and leaned upon it. "Done." Her eyes peered open and she crawled over towards her bed and jumped in.
She didn't bother to turn on the light, and figured that her own window with open wooden blinds was all the light she needed. 'I still… have so much… homework…' She didn't look when she stroked her target. 'So… much to do…'
She reached under her bed and pulled out a red shoebox that made a clingy sound.
Opening it, Kagome pulled out a razor blade and cotton balls.
"I… hate her."
"Morning Mama," Kagome said with a small smile as she poked her head through the kitchen window when her mother's head lifted from the couch. "Breakfast is ready; hungry?"
"You're too kind, darling."
Kagome shook her head, her wet hair sticking to her face. "Not at all. Here, I'll come help you," she said as she slipped off a pink apron with a duck on it and rushed to her mother's side. She had the woman in her arms in no time, and she set the woman down at their round dining table seconds later. "Sleep well?"
"Wonderful…" Mrs Higurashi said as she used her arms to lift her body higher in her wooden chair. "Were you alright last night?" she asked as her daughter handed her a pair of eyeglasses that she was always told to wear. "I thought I heard something from your room last night…" She put a hand on her chin as Kagome combed her short black hair. "I thought it was… crying? Dear, is something wrong?"
Kagome became silent again and returned the comb to the pocket of her green school uniform skirt. "Nothing, Mama," she said while shuffling into the kitchen and returning with two over-easy eggs and wheat toast, as well as a cup of coffee. "You sure you weren't just imagining it?"
Mrs Higurashi shook her head and thanked her daughter. She noticed… a spot of blood on Kagome's school uniform shirt that had long sleeves. It was just below her wrist. "Dear…" she said slowly. "Have you had a nosebleed?"
Kagome hurriedly set the plate and mug down before her mother and pulled her sleeves down so they were covering her hands as well. "Y-yes," she said with a smile. "It's the reason why I was awake all night and this morning. It just wouldn't stop," she said calmly as she sat across from her mother and watched her eat, and then fed her two of her pink pills that she had to take twice a day.
'I have to take a double shift today,' she thought while smiling sweetly at her mother. 'I have to pay the electricity and water bills today or they'll shut off.' Standing and taking the plate and mug when they were for sure empty, she sighed.
'This means I'll have to cut most of school.'
Mrs Higurashi stared at the television across the living room as she lifted her head from her television. 'Kagome is working her body and mind too hard… just for me,' she thought as the phone on the couch started glowing green.
She scrambled to pick it up.
"Moshimoshi?"
"Hello there," a male voice said into the phone. "Is this the parent or guardian of a Miss Higurashi Kagome?" the principal said from his office as he looked outside of his huge window, staring at the front of his campus.
"Yes, this is."
"Great… great," he said as he rubbed his chin. Leaning his elbow in the armrest, he exhaled deeply, causing slight noise to echo into the other line. "I was just wondering-"
"Did my little Kagome win an award for something?"
The man shook his head, his almost black eyes staring at the blazing sun. "No… not exactly," he said as he turned around and faced forward in his office. He was quiet for sometime before looking at the file spread out on his desk. It was Kagome's and had all her information on it, including the fact that the woman he was talking on the phone with, Higurashi Suzume, was handicap.
'Where is that girl?' he said to himself. He had previously gotten a call from a university. They had declined one of the many applications that Kagome had sent when she was a junior. Apparently she had missed too many days of school—they were right. 'And enough is enough,' he thought as he returned his gaze to outside. Kagome was absent, and he had given her enough warnings.
"Your daughter…"
Mrs Higurashi smiled.
"Yes?"
Brijustme: This is going to be very short and is sort of a side project that I've been working on for the past week. No, I don't cut myself; I just wanted to get that cleared! If you don't mind, please listen to the song Ordinary by TRAIN. It matches this story perfectly, or better yet, Crawling by Linkin Park.
Much Love