1. first meetings

Levi didn't know much about relationships and he did indeed look exactly like the type of man that didn't - he was somewhat stern, definitely bossy and the expression on his face seemed like it was permanently stuck on an apathetic default mode, unless his quite peculiar (and, to some extent, unexpected when compared to the remainder of his personality) sense of humour was involved. Then he would smile (and everyone would agree that they didn't want to see such sight ever again).

However, if there was something he knew and had found out throughout the very few relationships he'd had, was that first meetings were important - even if it's not important for you two, it will be for others.

So you're sitting with some friends and acquaintances and your partner - it's the first time that you introduce him to them and them to him - and so he's uncomfortable, embarrassed, nervous and you can spot a hint of a blush on his cheeks (what were you expecting, Levi, he's still somewhat of a child after all), and they are curious, slightly leaning forwards towards him and shamelessly looking at him at every single moment. You can get it though. Your situation is already uncommon even if they don't know how you two had met each other.

For that exact reason, they start exchanging daring glances between themselves, as if inviting someone to ask the question that is always lingering throughout the conversation. Your best friend is in the group and even though she feels slightly offended by the fact that she'd only known about your relationship two days ago, she doesn't show it. Fortunately or unfortunately, she's quite the unabashed folk and so the questions appears in her mouth when she realises that no one else will do it if she doesn't.

"So, how did you two actually meet?"

The customary question for new couples finally comes to surface. He blushes violently next to you and you realise that you are going to be the one answering that question. You sigh and, in that moment, you wish you could either die or kill Hanji. Probably both. Both would suffice.

If you were to be in a normal relationship the answer would be one of the following:

"In a coffee shop, where he works at on weekends" (yeah, this would imply that the boy wasn't living at Erwin's expenses and sometimes from the money that his mother would send when she noticed she had a son and that her younger brother didn't have to support said son) ;

"When we were at college " (this would be inconceivable - the boy was only now starting college and Levi had graduated many years before - he wouldn't be surprised if he came to know that the boy was still wearing diapers when he had started college) ;

"Friday night, at a bar" (the brat wasn't even old enough to drink, how could he be at a bar in a friday night? Only if he had a fake ID and ... well, this wouldn't be that unlikely, you never know with youth these days, unscratch that Levi, that's actually a good idea, spare yourself the torture of telling the truth).

Yes, one of those. Definitely one of those. And it would be definitely easier. But the universe, destiny, the stars, the Parcae or whatever more had decided that nothing would be easy for Levi. Ever.

Their relationship was far from normal and they both knew it.

Screw it, for moments he had been tempted to answer "On the Internet" but then he thought better - that would make it so that he looked like a creepy old man who was interested in starting relationships with boys fifteen years younger than him.

As he gave up and resigned himself to tell the truth, he tried to gather up the courage to answer:

"At my childhood friend's sister's son's christening."

That wasn't that bad. Honestly, christenings, weddings, and other similar events were actually appropriated places to meet new people. Having said that, the answer acquired a whole new different meaning when people realised that said christening had happened nineteen years ago and that Eren was his childhood friend's sister's son.

The situation got even more awkward when one notices that, nineteen years ago, Erwin was not only Levi's childhood friend, but also his boyfriend. But who could blame him?

It wasn't difficult to fall in love with Erwin Smith. It wasn't when Levi was fifteen and, if he were to be honest with himself, it wasn't now. The boy, three years older than him, was blond and tall and the embodiment of perfection. He transpired comfort and trust - he was that prototype of a hero and, in another life, Levi thought, he must have been one of some sorts. He was also his anchor, the one Levi needed when he was fifteen, the one Levi needed when he was thirty-four. The one that helped him deal with all the fucked up shit that happened on his life (and sometimes on his mind).

On account of that, he couldn't bring himself to deny Erwin his presence at his nephew's christening. He'd never seen the baby and he wasn't particularly keen of his boyfriend's sister but, regardless of that, no one at his family would deem his presence to be weird - Levi was a constant presence at the Smith's house since he was eleven. He often shared dinner with them, he often slept at their house (even more often when mom and dad were fighting and things were getting too loud), and he usually helped Erwin with the household chores, leaving the house impeccable while doing so (this had earned him a soft spot on Mrs. Smith's heart and she pampered him with food whenever he came over).

Also, Erwin claimed that he needed pleasant company in order to get over the weekend without murdering one of his cousins or any other relatives (everyone knows that family events of this sort can become murderous after a couple of hours).

And well, Levi actually liked Erwin's family, despite not looking like it. They were many and they talked too much and they were probably a bit nuts too but they were also warm and kind and everything Levi's family wasn't. To be embraced by them - to be loved by someone like Erwin who knew about his faults and his past - made him feel better even if it was just for a couple of hours.

So he was there. Around a lot of people he didn't know, around a lot of people he did know, standing side by side with Erwin and desperately wanting privacy. He couldn't help but wish that there were some kind of hidden room on which he could throw his boyfriend at the wall and kiss him wildly, his hands skimming through that expensive and beautifully worn tuxedo of his that fitted him so well and hugged him on all the right places. And then Erwin would switch their positions, press his weight onto the smaller boy's body and proceed to whisper obscene words and phrases on his ear. It wouldn't take long for both of them to be panting, heat consuming them until all it remained was them and the sound of each other's breathing.

Levi smirked at the context - he was thinking about all that at a baptism party and the other was clueless about all that, charmingly smiling at everyone that came to them to say hi. Erwin was now talking with a short man whose bald spot was inefficiently hidden by a toupee. (and if Levi deemed him to be short you must imagine how short the man was and he couldn't help but smile at how ridiculous it looked to see Erwin besides someone so small and hell, was that how people saw them? - no it couldn't be, Levi wasn't that small and he would still grow after all, he'd probably reach Erwin's jaw one day, ... right?)

He was submersed on his thoughts of how he wasn't small or I'm still going through puberty and so he couldn't point out the exact same time when Carla Jaeger appeared with her baby in front of them. One minute you are looking at an hideous toupee and then, bang, surprise, a baby has been thrown at you.

"Erwin, I need your help." she started to say as she handed the kid over to her brother's best friend - I'm the one you should be asking for help, missy, I'm the one that seems to be holding your baby and well, guess what, I don't like it a bit, who knows where this thing has been - and he couldn't hear much more as he was panicking because he had suddenly been trusted with a living thing.

He should have listened because then he would have told Carla straight in the eye that neither him or Erwin knew how to change diapers and no, she couldn't leave the kid for twenty minutes with them. So now he had a kid on his arms and Erwin had a baby bag hanging on his left arm.

"I hate your sister. I can definitely see the resemblance between you and the kid though. He has your eyebrows, Erwin, poor kid."

They managed to find the bathroom and so they laid the kid and started to work their way around the obnoxious amount of clothes he was wearing. When they finally reached the end of it and started taking off the diaper, Levi acknowledged that the kid hadn't done much of a mess (at least that).

He was starting to think that it wasn't that bad after all and that maybe babies weren't that bad of a thing when baby pee started jetting towards him.

He hated kids after all - and Eren Jaeger was now reigning, proudly sitting at the top of the list of kids he hated the most.