I Knew I Loved You
"Cartman, get up."
Cartman rolled over in his bed, muttering. He snuggled deeper into his mattress, pulling his comforter over his head. It was so warm here...
"Cartman, get up!" He felt the pillow smash into his face, and he sat bolt upright, staring around himself sleepily.
"Huh?" he said, barely awake. "Who's there, who's hitting me?" He rubbed his eyes and blinked once or twice. Colleen was standing before him, dressed and ready to go.
"Come on," she said. "You don't wanna be late." Cartman yawned and fell out of the bed.
"But Colleen, I don't wanna go to school," he whined. She sighed as she walked out of the room.
"Well, hurry up," she said. "Auntie Liane's making Beefy Logs and I'm fucking hungry-"
"Beefy Logs?" Cartman said, fully awake. He grabbed his clothes and bolted for the stairs. Colleen shook her head and walked down the stairs after him. There were some things about her cousin that she would never understand.
A faint smile played on her lips as she walked towards the kitchen. She couldn't wait to go to school and talk with this Lily girl again. Cartman had told her all about her and she seemed like a good person to have as a friend. Her and her twin brother, Stan. She seemed like a good, crazy person. She walked into the kitchen where Cartman, Aunt Liane, and her father were sitting.
"Good morning, pumpkin," her dad said. She ran over to him and gave him a hug. He smiled at his daughter and planted a kiss on her forehead.
"You sleep well?" he asked. She nodded and got into her chair at the table.
"Yeah," she said. "The bed that I have is really soft!"
"Well, that's good to hear," he said, looking down at his plate.
"Mmm, Beefy Logs!" he exclaimed. "These were my favorite when I was a kid!"
"They're my favorite now," Cartman muttered, his mouth crammed with food. Colleen giggled.
"Jeez, Cartman, have enough food yet?" There was a mountain of Beefy Logs on his plate, and they were spilling out onto the table. He stabbed one with his fork and shoved it into his mouth.
"Hell no, bitch!" he said. Ms. Cartman shot him a disapproving look.
"Watch your mouth, hon," she said. Peter also looked down at him from the top of his glasses, but didn't say anything. Ms. Cartman walked over and placed three Beefy Logs on Colleen's plate.
"Is that enough, hon?" she asked. Colleen nodded.
"Yeah," she said. "Thanks."
"No problem," Liane replied as she sat down at the table with her plate. Liane looked up from her plate and glanced between Cartman and her.
"I'm going to take you to school today, all right, poopykins?" she said.
"Sweeet!" Cartman exclaimed. "Now I don't have to ride the bus with those assholes!"
"Whatever," Colleen said. She had been secretly hoping they would ride the bus since she would get to meet some of the kids before class. But of course...
"Come on, Eric, hurry up and finish your breakfast, Mommy has to take you to school," Liane said. Cartman looked up at her, his cheeks stuffed with Beefy Logs.
"But Mo-om..." Cartman whined. "I don't wanna go to school!"
"Don't be difficult, Eric!" Liane said, grabbing her car keys. "Now, come on!" She grabbed him by the coat and dragged him out the door. Peter stopped Colleen as she was about to leave.
"Have a good first day of school, honey," he said. She nodded her head and followed Liane out the door.
"I will," she said.
~*~
"Dude, I guess fatass isn't here today," Kyle said as they sat down in the classroom.
"Seriously? Thank God!" Stan exclaimed. "I already know today's going to be a good one! Lily isn't going to be here until lunchtime, so I can talk to Wendy-"
"Why isn't Lily here?" Kenny asked. "Is the stupid bitch sick?" Stan shook his head.
"No, she had to go to the hospital to get her stupid cast off," he replied.
"Oh..." Kenny said, and was about to make some smart-ass remark when Kyle groaned.
"Oh Jesus, guess who's here..." he said. The three boys looked up and were met with Cartman storming through the door.
"Oh, hey assholes," he said, sitting down at his desk. He looked around, bemused. "Ay! Where's Lily?"
"Not here," Stan said. "She won't be here until lunch."
"Aw, fuck!" Cartman exclaimed. "And she was the only reason I got out of bed to come to school today-"
"Woah!" Kyle said, pointing to the doorway. "Who's...who's that?" Cartman sighed.
"That's my cousin Colleen," he replied, annoyed. "She has to stay at my house for a while, and it is so not hella tits." Kyle's eyes remained transfixed on her as she walked in.
"Wow..." he said softly. "She's..." His eyes glazed over and a big silly grin was plastered on his face. Stan looked at him, stunned.
"Dude, Kyle, snap out of it," he whispered urgently. Kyle ignored him and continued staring in the direction of Colleen. She was looking around the classroom, confused. She spotted Cartman and started walking over in their direction.
"Oh great, she's coming over here to sit with us!" Cartman said sarcastically. "I'm so overjoyed right now, you guys..."
She walked over and stopped in between Cartman and Kyle. She looked very strung out and nervous.
"There's nowhere for me to sit, Cartman," she said. Stan looked up at her.
"Sit in Lily's desk for now," he said. "She's not going to be here until lunchtime anyway." Colleen nodded and gave Stan a small smile.
"AY!" Cartman yelled. "She's not sitting in Lily's desk!" Colleen leaned over and bitch slapped him across the face.
"Listen, tubby," she whispered. "I had to be a good girl at home but school is totally different territory! I'll sit where ever the fuck I want, and there's nothing your fat ass can do to stop me!"
"Woah, dude!" Kenny cried. Colleen turned to Stan and gave him a warm smile.
"You must be Stan," she said. He nodded, happily surprised.
"Yeah," he said. "How'd you know?"
"I believe I met your twin sister the other day...Lily, right? She's got the same kind of clothes as you, so I just assumed you were her brother," she said. Stan nodded.
"Yup, that's her!" he said. "She's a stupid bitch sometimes, but I love her anyway." Colleen smiled.
"Awww, how cute" she cooed. She looked over at Kenny and Kyle.
"Hi," she said. "Who are you?" She pointed to Kenny. Kenny got on one knee and kissed the back of her hand.
"Hello there, beautiful," he said. "My name is Kenny McCormick, at your service...for anything." Colleen giggled a little bit.
"Well, if you're that willing to be my slave," she said sweetly, getting down in his face. "Then you can stop hitting on me."
"Woah, another Lily!" Stan said. "Jesus, you and my sister are going to be best friends, I can tell!" Colleen smiled, and then glanced at Kyle.
"Who are you?" she asked. Kyle was still staring, in a trance.
"Uh...well...hehe, I'm-" he started, but Cartman took it upon himself to finish.
"He's Kyle, the stupid dumb fuck Jew!" he said. Colleen whirled around a bitch slapped him across the face again.
"Hey, shit face, I'm Jewish too, so watch what you say!" Kyle stared at her again, this time in shock.
"You...you're Jewish too?" he asked. She nodded her head.
"Yeah," she said. "I think that Hanukkah kicks the crap out of Christmas any day! Come on, eight days of presents to one? What would you pick?" Kyle was practically in a faint.
"Oh my God..." he said, but trailed off, muttering to himself. Colleen gave him another small smile and then sat down in Lily's desk, in-between Cartman and Stan. Mr. Garrison walked into the classroom then, looking around the room.
"Oh, goddammit, not another new slut!" he cried. "Well, come out with it, who the hell are you?" Colleen stared at him, flabbergasted. She had never heard a teacher talk like this before, ever.
"Uh...well...I'm Colleen Sanders," she said quietly. "I'm from Washington-"
"Ooh, any relation to Colonel Sanders?" Craig asked, snickering. The whole class started to laugh.
"Yeah, can we get some free KFC?" Terrance asked.
"No, KFC's pretty gay, like her," his friend added.
Colleen lowered her head in shame, gazing at the carpet that was covering the floor. She saw an ant trundling along and watched it with interest. She wanted to be out of the classroom so bad right now...
"Hey Colleen," she heard someone sneer. She glanced up and was met with Wendy Testaburger.
"What's the matter?" she asked sarcastically. "Are the other kids picking on you? Poor baby..." She stood next to her and patted her shoulder with a mock look of sympathy on her face. Then she grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her back. Colleen let out a whimper of surprise and stared into Wendy's face, wide eyed with shock.
"You're such a little pansy," she said harshly, her words hitting her like tin of bricks. "Come on, say something! You weak little-"
"Have something to say, Wendy?" they heard someone say. They all looked up and standing in the doorway was Lily Marsh. Wendy let go of Colleen and stood up.
"Ooh, you're good at picking on the helpless, Wendy," Lily said abrasively. "Weak people usually are." Wendy shot her a murderous glare.
"Oh, look! The bitch is back already," she said. "I was hoping the doctor's would cut off your leg by accident." Lily laughed.
"Those saws that they use to take of casts can't even cut your skin, you stupid bitch, let alone cut off your whole leg. Research a topic before you try to know it all, Wendy," she retorted.
"Lily? I thought you weren't going to be here until lunchtime," Stan said. She glanced over at him briefly and then shrugged.
"They let me in early," she replied simply and then turned back to Wendy.
"Remember, bitch, your ass is mine tomorrow," she said.
"Oh, I think you're greatly mistaken," Wendy replied, giving her a tight smile. "You're ass is mine."
~*~
"Woah, thanks for sticking up for me, Lily," Colleen said as they sat down for lunch. Lily gave her a small smile.
"Don't mention it," she replied. "Wendy and her stupid little friends have hated me since the day I got here. They like to pick on the new people since they think they're dumb." Lily looked at her and smiled.
"Anyway," she said. "I think you're cool. I'll stick up for you if they give you anymore trouble." Colleen smiled in relief.
"Thanks a lot," she said. "I never knew people in Colorado were so mean sometimes!" Lily laughed.
"Me either," she said. Colleen stared at her curiously.
"Wait a minute...you didn't live here all your life?" she said. Lily shook her head.
"I lived in Vermont until about a month ago..."
~*~
Kyle sighed, looking over in the direction of Lily and Colleen. A small smile played upon his lips. Colleen...what a wonderful name. She was perfect for him. Everything thing about her he found himself in love with. Her wild, curly brown hair tied back in little pigtails. Her cute little smile. The fact that she was also Jewish was also a plus. His smile grew bigger the longer he stared. She was so amazing...
"Kyle!" Stan shouted, slapping him in the face. Kyle looked up at him and rubbed his cheek.
"Ow!" he cried. "What the hell was that for?" Stan sighed.
"I've been trying to get you attention for five minutes and you ignored me every time," he replied. "You mind was too busy focusing on Colleen..." Kyle shot him a glare and started to eat his lunch.
"I was not," he replied, his cheeks stuffed with tuna noodle casserole. Stan rolled is eyes.
"Okay then, what were you staring at?" he said. "The wall?" Cartman raised his fist and shook it in front of his face.
"It better not have been Lily," he said. Kyle patted his shoulder.
"Don't worry tubby, I'd never want your bitchy ass girlfriend," he said.
"Hey, she's my sister, remember," Stan said. Kyle shrugged. Kenny giggled.
"Kyle wants to fuck her," he said, laughing. Stan and Cartman started to laugh as well. Kyle narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms across his chest, miffed.
"No I don't, Kenny," Kyle said. "I just..." They all cackled with glee.
"You just what, Kyle?" Kenny said. "You only want to feel her up?" He started laughing so hard that he began to choke. None of the others took any notice.
"No, goddammit!" Kyle said. "Fine, I like her! There, is that what you wanted to here? I like her and I think she's the most amazing girl I have ever seen!" He looked at Stan. "Better then that stupid bitch Wendy..." Then he looked over at Cartman. "And a hell of a lot better then that goddamn tough chick Lily!"
"Hey!" Stan and Cartman both said simultaneously, right as Kenny collapsed on the table.
"Woah, what's wrong with Kenny?" Stan said. Cartman leaned over and hit him with his fork.
"Kenny you poor piece of crap, you're supposed to sleep during class, not at lunchtime!" he cried. Kenny didn't respond, he just lay there, his eyes glazed over in death.
"Uh...Kenny?" Kyle said, prodding him with one finger. He looked at the others, shocked.
"Dude, I think he's dead," he said softly. Cartman blinked his eyes once or twice and then stared at him.
"Are you fucking serious?" he cried. "He's dead?" Kyle nodded his head.
"Oh my God, they killed Kenny," Stan shouted. Lily looked up from her table with Colleen.
"Huh?" she shouted over to them. "What's wrong with Kenny?"
"He's dead!" Kyle shouted back. Lily cocked her head to the side.
"He's poorly fed?" she yelled to them. "Well, I know that, he's poor!"
"No!" Stan shouted to her, "He's *dead*!" She shook her head and then threw her hand in the air, frustrated.
"He hit his head?" she yelled. Cartman sighed and pulled out his megaphone.
"WE SAID HE'S DEAD!" he screeched. The whole cafeteria covered their ears.
"Oh," Lily said. Kyle shook his head as he got up to dump what was left on his tray in the trash.
"Goddamn Stan," he said as he walked away. "Your sister is fucking dumb."
~*~
"Look at them." Lily pointed her finger over to the three boys.
"What do you think they're doing?" Colleen asked. Lily watched them intently, her eyes studying their faces. She saw Kyle look up and steal a quick glance over in Colleen's direction, but as soon as he noticed she was watching, his eye's moved somewhere else. She smiled to herself as she turned back to Colleen.
"I think someone likes you," she said playfully. Colleen turned bright red and looked down.
"Nah..." she said softly. "Why would anyone like me? I'm a stupid ugly Jew bitch." Lily slapped her on the arm.
"Well, missy, you can lose that attitude right now," she said. "First of all, you're not stupid. I heard you in class this morning, stating all the members of the original crew of Gilligan's Island in alphabetical order..."
"Well, that was just-" Colleen started.
"And you're not ugly. I happen to like your hair," Lily said, interrupting her. "It's cool."
"Heh, thank you-"
"And then, so what if you're a Jew? If my hunch is correct, and my hunches usually are, mind you, then the person that likes you is a Jew too..." Colleen's eyes lit up.
"You mean...that Kyle kid?" she said. "He's likes...me?" Lily grinned and rubbed Colleen's head.
"Smart girl," she said. He's obsessed with you. I can tell, trust me. I saw the same thing in your cousin when he was glanced at yours truly here." She pointed to herself. Colleen had a slightly goofy smile plastered on her face, looking over in the direction of the boys.
"Well, I think I'm going to go talk to him," she said and started to walk off.
~*~
"What should I do, you guys?" Kyle asked, panicking. "I wanna tell her that I like her but I have no idea how?"
"Buy her a menorah, Kyle," Cartman said, sniggering. "What better way to say I love you to a Jew..." Kyle leaned over and punched him in the stomach.
"Shut up, fatass," he said menacingly. He turned to Stan.
"Stan, you know a lot about relationships, tell me what I should do!" Cartman sniggered again.
"The only thing that wuss knows about relationships is how to fuck them up-" Cartman started, but this time it was Stan who punched him. He looked back over at Kyle.
"Just tell her how you feel, dude!" he said. "I'm sure that she'll be able to accept that, even if she doesn't like you back." He looked up and saw her starting to walk over towards where they were.
"Good luck dude, you're on your own," Stan said as he dragged Cartman off. Kyle sighed and looked down to the ground.
"Wow, what a way to make me feel better, Stan," he muttered under his breath. "Thanks..." he found himself staring at a pair of shoes. He looked up and was met with Colleen standing before him. She giggled a bit.
"Was something about the snow that interesting?" she asked, looking down at the ground where he had been staring. Kyle turned crimson and started to try to stammer an excuse.
"Well...uh...you see," he started, but Colleen interrupted him.
"It's all right," she said lightly. "I was only kidding around with you." Kyle let out a nervous laugh and then looked back up at her.
"Oh, I knew that," he said. "Sure..." Colleen sighed and started twirling her scarf. The wind carried it and it was making a bunch of nice patterns in the air. Kyle stared at her and then lowered his head again.
"I...I..." he started. He sighed and then looked back up at her. "There's something I want to tell you." Colleen gave him a little smile.
"All right," she said softly. "What is it?" Kyle hesitated for a moment. Should he tell her what was really on his mind?
"Colleen..." he started. "There's something about you that I have never seen in other girls. Sure, Lily's fucking hot and Rebecca was really nice but you..." He sighed and gave her a little smile.
"I knew I loved you the moment I saw you," he said quickly, the words pouring out of him fast now. "I knew you were the one for me, the only one I could ever-"
She stopped him with a kiss. When she was done, she stared at him and smiled.
"I felt the same way," she replied. "I felt the same way."
"Cartman, get up."
Cartman rolled over in his bed, muttering. He snuggled deeper into his mattress, pulling his comforter over his head. It was so warm here...
"Cartman, get up!" He felt the pillow smash into his face, and he sat bolt upright, staring around himself sleepily.
"Huh?" he said, barely awake. "Who's there, who's hitting me?" He rubbed his eyes and blinked once or twice. Colleen was standing before him, dressed and ready to go.
"Come on," she said. "You don't wanna be late." Cartman yawned and fell out of the bed.
"But Colleen, I don't wanna go to school," he whined. She sighed as she walked out of the room.
"Well, hurry up," she said. "Auntie Liane's making Beefy Logs and I'm fucking hungry-"
"Beefy Logs?" Cartman said, fully awake. He grabbed his clothes and bolted for the stairs. Colleen shook her head and walked down the stairs after him. There were some things about her cousin that she would never understand.
A faint smile played on her lips as she walked towards the kitchen. She couldn't wait to go to school and talk with this Lily girl again. Cartman had told her all about her and she seemed like a good person to have as a friend. Her and her twin brother, Stan. She seemed like a good, crazy person. She walked into the kitchen where Cartman, Aunt Liane, and her father were sitting.
"Good morning, pumpkin," her dad said. She ran over to him and gave him a hug. He smiled at his daughter and planted a kiss on her forehead.
"You sleep well?" he asked. She nodded and got into her chair at the table.
"Yeah," she said. "The bed that I have is really soft!"
"Well, that's good to hear," he said, looking down at his plate.
"Mmm, Beefy Logs!" he exclaimed. "These were my favorite when I was a kid!"
"They're my favorite now," Cartman muttered, his mouth crammed with food. Colleen giggled.
"Jeez, Cartman, have enough food yet?" There was a mountain of Beefy Logs on his plate, and they were spilling out onto the table. He stabbed one with his fork and shoved it into his mouth.
"Hell no, bitch!" he said. Ms. Cartman shot him a disapproving look.
"Watch your mouth, hon," she said. Peter also looked down at him from the top of his glasses, but didn't say anything. Ms. Cartman walked over and placed three Beefy Logs on Colleen's plate.
"Is that enough, hon?" she asked. Colleen nodded.
"Yeah," she said. "Thanks."
"No problem," Liane replied as she sat down at the table with her plate. Liane looked up from her plate and glanced between Cartman and her.
"I'm going to take you to school today, all right, poopykins?" she said.
"Sweeet!" Cartman exclaimed. "Now I don't have to ride the bus with those assholes!"
"Whatever," Colleen said. She had been secretly hoping they would ride the bus since she would get to meet some of the kids before class. But of course...
"Come on, Eric, hurry up and finish your breakfast, Mommy has to take you to school," Liane said. Cartman looked up at her, his cheeks stuffed with Beefy Logs.
"But Mo-om..." Cartman whined. "I don't wanna go to school!"
"Don't be difficult, Eric!" Liane said, grabbing her car keys. "Now, come on!" She grabbed him by the coat and dragged him out the door. Peter stopped Colleen as she was about to leave.
"Have a good first day of school, honey," he said. She nodded her head and followed Liane out the door.
"I will," she said.
~*~
"Dude, I guess fatass isn't here today," Kyle said as they sat down in the classroom.
"Seriously? Thank God!" Stan exclaimed. "I already know today's going to be a good one! Lily isn't going to be here until lunchtime, so I can talk to Wendy-"
"Why isn't Lily here?" Kenny asked. "Is the stupid bitch sick?" Stan shook his head.
"No, she had to go to the hospital to get her stupid cast off," he replied.
"Oh..." Kenny said, and was about to make some smart-ass remark when Kyle groaned.
"Oh Jesus, guess who's here..." he said. The three boys looked up and were met with Cartman storming through the door.
"Oh, hey assholes," he said, sitting down at his desk. He looked around, bemused. "Ay! Where's Lily?"
"Not here," Stan said. "She won't be here until lunch."
"Aw, fuck!" Cartman exclaimed. "And she was the only reason I got out of bed to come to school today-"
"Woah!" Kyle said, pointing to the doorway. "Who's...who's that?" Cartman sighed.
"That's my cousin Colleen," he replied, annoyed. "She has to stay at my house for a while, and it is so not hella tits." Kyle's eyes remained transfixed on her as she walked in.
"Wow..." he said softly. "She's..." His eyes glazed over and a big silly grin was plastered on his face. Stan looked at him, stunned.
"Dude, Kyle, snap out of it," he whispered urgently. Kyle ignored him and continued staring in the direction of Colleen. She was looking around the classroom, confused. She spotted Cartman and started walking over in their direction.
"Oh great, she's coming over here to sit with us!" Cartman said sarcastically. "I'm so overjoyed right now, you guys..."
She walked over and stopped in between Cartman and Kyle. She looked very strung out and nervous.
"There's nowhere for me to sit, Cartman," she said. Stan looked up at her.
"Sit in Lily's desk for now," he said. "She's not going to be here until lunchtime anyway." Colleen nodded and gave Stan a small smile.
"AY!" Cartman yelled. "She's not sitting in Lily's desk!" Colleen leaned over and bitch slapped him across the face.
"Listen, tubby," she whispered. "I had to be a good girl at home but school is totally different territory! I'll sit where ever the fuck I want, and there's nothing your fat ass can do to stop me!"
"Woah, dude!" Kenny cried. Colleen turned to Stan and gave him a warm smile.
"You must be Stan," she said. He nodded, happily surprised.
"Yeah," he said. "How'd you know?"
"I believe I met your twin sister the other day...Lily, right? She's got the same kind of clothes as you, so I just assumed you were her brother," she said. Stan nodded.
"Yup, that's her!" he said. "She's a stupid bitch sometimes, but I love her anyway." Colleen smiled.
"Awww, how cute" she cooed. She looked over at Kenny and Kyle.
"Hi," she said. "Who are you?" She pointed to Kenny. Kenny got on one knee and kissed the back of her hand.
"Hello there, beautiful," he said. "My name is Kenny McCormick, at your service...for anything." Colleen giggled a little bit.
"Well, if you're that willing to be my slave," she said sweetly, getting down in his face. "Then you can stop hitting on me."
"Woah, another Lily!" Stan said. "Jesus, you and my sister are going to be best friends, I can tell!" Colleen smiled, and then glanced at Kyle.
"Who are you?" she asked. Kyle was still staring, in a trance.
"Uh...well...hehe, I'm-" he started, but Cartman took it upon himself to finish.
"He's Kyle, the stupid dumb fuck Jew!" he said. Colleen whirled around a bitch slapped him across the face again.
"Hey, shit face, I'm Jewish too, so watch what you say!" Kyle stared at her again, this time in shock.
"You...you're Jewish too?" he asked. She nodded her head.
"Yeah," she said. "I think that Hanukkah kicks the crap out of Christmas any day! Come on, eight days of presents to one? What would you pick?" Kyle was practically in a faint.
"Oh my God..." he said, but trailed off, muttering to himself. Colleen gave him another small smile and then sat down in Lily's desk, in-between Cartman and Stan. Mr. Garrison walked into the classroom then, looking around the room.
"Oh, goddammit, not another new slut!" he cried. "Well, come out with it, who the hell are you?" Colleen stared at him, flabbergasted. She had never heard a teacher talk like this before, ever.
"Uh...well...I'm Colleen Sanders," she said quietly. "I'm from Washington-"
"Ooh, any relation to Colonel Sanders?" Craig asked, snickering. The whole class started to laugh.
"Yeah, can we get some free KFC?" Terrance asked.
"No, KFC's pretty gay, like her," his friend added.
Colleen lowered her head in shame, gazing at the carpet that was covering the floor. She saw an ant trundling along and watched it with interest. She wanted to be out of the classroom so bad right now...
"Hey Colleen," she heard someone sneer. She glanced up and was met with Wendy Testaburger.
"What's the matter?" she asked sarcastically. "Are the other kids picking on you? Poor baby..." She stood next to her and patted her shoulder with a mock look of sympathy on her face. Then she grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her back. Colleen let out a whimper of surprise and stared into Wendy's face, wide eyed with shock.
"You're such a little pansy," she said harshly, her words hitting her like tin of bricks. "Come on, say something! You weak little-"
"Have something to say, Wendy?" they heard someone say. They all looked up and standing in the doorway was Lily Marsh. Wendy let go of Colleen and stood up.
"Ooh, you're good at picking on the helpless, Wendy," Lily said abrasively. "Weak people usually are." Wendy shot her a murderous glare.
"Oh, look! The bitch is back already," she said. "I was hoping the doctor's would cut off your leg by accident." Lily laughed.
"Those saws that they use to take of casts can't even cut your skin, you stupid bitch, let alone cut off your whole leg. Research a topic before you try to know it all, Wendy," she retorted.
"Lily? I thought you weren't going to be here until lunchtime," Stan said. She glanced over at him briefly and then shrugged.
"They let me in early," she replied simply and then turned back to Wendy.
"Remember, bitch, your ass is mine tomorrow," she said.
"Oh, I think you're greatly mistaken," Wendy replied, giving her a tight smile. "You're ass is mine."
~*~
"Woah, thanks for sticking up for me, Lily," Colleen said as they sat down for lunch. Lily gave her a small smile.
"Don't mention it," she replied. "Wendy and her stupid little friends have hated me since the day I got here. They like to pick on the new people since they think they're dumb." Lily looked at her and smiled.
"Anyway," she said. "I think you're cool. I'll stick up for you if they give you anymore trouble." Colleen smiled in relief.
"Thanks a lot," she said. "I never knew people in Colorado were so mean sometimes!" Lily laughed.
"Me either," she said. Colleen stared at her curiously.
"Wait a minute...you didn't live here all your life?" she said. Lily shook her head.
"I lived in Vermont until about a month ago..."
~*~
Kyle sighed, looking over in the direction of Lily and Colleen. A small smile played upon his lips. Colleen...what a wonderful name. She was perfect for him. Everything thing about her he found himself in love with. Her wild, curly brown hair tied back in little pigtails. Her cute little smile. The fact that she was also Jewish was also a plus. His smile grew bigger the longer he stared. She was so amazing...
"Kyle!" Stan shouted, slapping him in the face. Kyle looked up at him and rubbed his cheek.
"Ow!" he cried. "What the hell was that for?" Stan sighed.
"I've been trying to get you attention for five minutes and you ignored me every time," he replied. "You mind was too busy focusing on Colleen..." Kyle shot him a glare and started to eat his lunch.
"I was not," he replied, his cheeks stuffed with tuna noodle casserole. Stan rolled is eyes.
"Okay then, what were you staring at?" he said. "The wall?" Cartman raised his fist and shook it in front of his face.
"It better not have been Lily," he said. Kyle patted his shoulder.
"Don't worry tubby, I'd never want your bitchy ass girlfriend," he said.
"Hey, she's my sister, remember," Stan said. Kyle shrugged. Kenny giggled.
"Kyle wants to fuck her," he said, laughing. Stan and Cartman started to laugh as well. Kyle narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms across his chest, miffed.
"No I don't, Kenny," Kyle said. "I just..." They all cackled with glee.
"You just what, Kyle?" Kenny said. "You only want to feel her up?" He started laughing so hard that he began to choke. None of the others took any notice.
"No, goddammit!" Kyle said. "Fine, I like her! There, is that what you wanted to here? I like her and I think she's the most amazing girl I have ever seen!" He looked at Stan. "Better then that stupid bitch Wendy..." Then he looked over at Cartman. "And a hell of a lot better then that goddamn tough chick Lily!"
"Hey!" Stan and Cartman both said simultaneously, right as Kenny collapsed on the table.
"Woah, what's wrong with Kenny?" Stan said. Cartman leaned over and hit him with his fork.
"Kenny you poor piece of crap, you're supposed to sleep during class, not at lunchtime!" he cried. Kenny didn't respond, he just lay there, his eyes glazed over in death.
"Uh...Kenny?" Kyle said, prodding him with one finger. He looked at the others, shocked.
"Dude, I think he's dead," he said softly. Cartman blinked his eyes once or twice and then stared at him.
"Are you fucking serious?" he cried. "He's dead?" Kyle nodded his head.
"Oh my God, they killed Kenny," Stan shouted. Lily looked up from her table with Colleen.
"Huh?" she shouted over to them. "What's wrong with Kenny?"
"He's dead!" Kyle shouted back. Lily cocked her head to the side.
"He's poorly fed?" she yelled to them. "Well, I know that, he's poor!"
"No!" Stan shouted to her, "He's *dead*!" She shook her head and then threw her hand in the air, frustrated.
"He hit his head?" she yelled. Cartman sighed and pulled out his megaphone.
"WE SAID HE'S DEAD!" he screeched. The whole cafeteria covered their ears.
"Oh," Lily said. Kyle shook his head as he got up to dump what was left on his tray in the trash.
"Goddamn Stan," he said as he walked away. "Your sister is fucking dumb."
~*~
"Look at them." Lily pointed her finger over to the three boys.
"What do you think they're doing?" Colleen asked. Lily watched them intently, her eyes studying their faces. She saw Kyle look up and steal a quick glance over in Colleen's direction, but as soon as he noticed she was watching, his eye's moved somewhere else. She smiled to herself as she turned back to Colleen.
"I think someone likes you," she said playfully. Colleen turned bright red and looked down.
"Nah..." she said softly. "Why would anyone like me? I'm a stupid ugly Jew bitch." Lily slapped her on the arm.
"Well, missy, you can lose that attitude right now," she said. "First of all, you're not stupid. I heard you in class this morning, stating all the members of the original crew of Gilligan's Island in alphabetical order..."
"Well, that was just-" Colleen started.
"And you're not ugly. I happen to like your hair," Lily said, interrupting her. "It's cool."
"Heh, thank you-"
"And then, so what if you're a Jew? If my hunch is correct, and my hunches usually are, mind you, then the person that likes you is a Jew too..." Colleen's eyes lit up.
"You mean...that Kyle kid?" she said. "He's likes...me?" Lily grinned and rubbed Colleen's head.
"Smart girl," she said. He's obsessed with you. I can tell, trust me. I saw the same thing in your cousin when he was glanced at yours truly here." She pointed to herself. Colleen had a slightly goofy smile plastered on her face, looking over in the direction of the boys.
"Well, I think I'm going to go talk to him," she said and started to walk off.
~*~
"What should I do, you guys?" Kyle asked, panicking. "I wanna tell her that I like her but I have no idea how?"
"Buy her a menorah, Kyle," Cartman said, sniggering. "What better way to say I love you to a Jew..." Kyle leaned over and punched him in the stomach.
"Shut up, fatass," he said menacingly. He turned to Stan.
"Stan, you know a lot about relationships, tell me what I should do!" Cartman sniggered again.
"The only thing that wuss knows about relationships is how to fuck them up-" Cartman started, but this time it was Stan who punched him. He looked back over at Kyle.
"Just tell her how you feel, dude!" he said. "I'm sure that she'll be able to accept that, even if she doesn't like you back." He looked up and saw her starting to walk over towards where they were.
"Good luck dude, you're on your own," Stan said as he dragged Cartman off. Kyle sighed and looked down to the ground.
"Wow, what a way to make me feel better, Stan," he muttered under his breath. "Thanks..." he found himself staring at a pair of shoes. He looked up and was met with Colleen standing before him. She giggled a bit.
"Was something about the snow that interesting?" she asked, looking down at the ground where he had been staring. Kyle turned crimson and started to try to stammer an excuse.
"Well...uh...you see," he started, but Colleen interrupted him.
"It's all right," she said lightly. "I was only kidding around with you." Kyle let out a nervous laugh and then looked back up at her.
"Oh, I knew that," he said. "Sure..." Colleen sighed and started twirling her scarf. The wind carried it and it was making a bunch of nice patterns in the air. Kyle stared at her and then lowered his head again.
"I...I..." he started. He sighed and then looked back up at her. "There's something I want to tell you." Colleen gave him a little smile.
"All right," she said softly. "What is it?" Kyle hesitated for a moment. Should he tell her what was really on his mind?
"Colleen..." he started. "There's something about you that I have never seen in other girls. Sure, Lily's fucking hot and Rebecca was really nice but you..." He sighed and gave her a little smile.
"I knew I loved you the moment I saw you," he said quickly, the words pouring out of him fast now. "I knew you were the one for me, the only one I could ever-"
She stopped him with a kiss. When she was done, she stared at him and smiled.
"I felt the same way," she replied. "I felt the same way."