i got bored and wanted to make FF10 more depression, and ended up with this. i've had the first three chapters written up for heaps long now, i just couldn't come with a name for the story.

Disclaimer: i do not own ff10.

1 REALISATION

Yuna lay awake on her bed, listening to the sound of the wind whistling through the trees. It hadn't even been two weeks since she had defeated sin. Not even two weeks since he'd been gone, and the pain was already unbearable. What she was going through was making her sick. She'd stop eating because she would just throw it up afterwards. She was becoming tired and weak. Every time she tried to sleep she couldn't. She just wanted him to be next to her, to hear his voice. But even though she wished it, she knew it was impossible. He was gone; she'd never see him again.

She stood up. She stood next to her bed and continued to listen to the wind. It sounded like it was whistling, what a familiar sound. It was almost like the whistle he had teached her, but much more quieter of course. It was nice to listen to. But it wasn't helping any. It was just making her pain worse, having to listen to that familiar sound. She had to get away.

She walked out the door then to the exit of the village. She looked behind her and took a look at the temple. She had to brush away a tear that had rolled down her cheeks. She remembered how that was where she had first seen him. She turned and walked off.

Yuna sat down on the beach. The cold water lapping at her feet. She was staring at the moon, tears running freely down her face. She wanted to forget her memories of Tidus were causing her so much pain. She knew it would hurt. But she didn't think it would be this bad. Her heart felt like it was being ripped apart. If she could forget, this would all go away, but not being able to remember her love would hurt just the same.

Yuna put her head down and looked out to the horizon. The water looked to calm and beautiful. The moon's reflection bouncing off it making it shine. She got up and tiptoed into the water. She stopped when it got to her knees. She shut her eyes, feeling the strong wind flow freely through her hair. She opened her eyes. No matter what, she couldn't escape her memories, this couldn't escape this.

This moment reminded her of the night where they had kissed in the middle of that beautiful spring. She buried her head in her hands.

Why do I have to go through this! She felt like screaming out. I don't deserve this. She walked back onto the sand and fell to the ground in a fit of sobs.

"Why! Why can't you be here, I need you!"

She crawled into a ball on the ground. Her tears stained her face and flowed onto the sand. Her sobs got louder, she hit the ground with her fist and screamed, she pulled at her hair with her sandy hands

"Why do I have to go through this? Oh Tidus I need you so much! Why do you have to be gone? I've never wanted anything as much as I've wanted you!"

Yuna spent hours on that beach, crying and called out his name. Eventually she mustered up the strength to stand, she needed to go back. The sky was lighting up, soon people would be waking up. But after she took one step a horrible feeling ran through her and she fell back down and vomited. Her sight became dizzy and then she entered a fit of coughs. There was definitely something wrong with her. She managed to make herself stop but she started to gasp for air. She felt so weak; she had eaten near to nothing in the past few days. She was losing strength. She pulled herself to the waters edge and splashed some water on her face to clean it.

She got up again, but more slowly this time, not wanting a repeat of what just happened.

She gradually made her way back to the village.

By the time she got back the sun was close to rising. She walked back inside, climbed onto the bed and faced the wall. Yuna had gotten sick before, but this time something felt weird. She knew it wasn't because she was starving herself; she'd gone for almost a week without eating when her father had died. Then she froze, she figured out what it was wrong. Even though she had been starving herself, she didn't appear to be losing any weight, and then she remembered what had happened near to end of her pilgrimage. He was away from everyone else; she hadn't been able to sleep so she had gone to him. The reason for the fear running trough her wasn't because of something impossible, it was the truth.

She was pregnant.

the thing that makes this all worse is, i'm not reviving tidus at the end. mua ha ha