ty]54

M'kay yall. Ya knows da drillz. Me= not owning Harry Potter

this one is so mixed up and random that you better get ready to laugh your ass off!

Title: Cedric rises.

rated: T

Harry was sitting at his desk, deeply involved in a book. "Hey Harry, whatcha' reading?" Ron asked, carrying a vodka/ orange juice Dobby had mixed with his own penis, (it was the only part of him that could reach the bottom of the cup) but Ron was too drunk to notice. Weaving, he layed on the floor and Snape kicked him in the head, then left the room.

Harry looked down at Ron, who had blood coming out of a cut in his head (Snape had spikes on his boots- duh!) "Get away from me you carrot head! I'm trying to read my gay porn!" Harry was suddenly filled with angst, and he got up from his desk, throwing the book at a vial of potion. "Go bother uncle Voldy or something, hopefully he can "

Voldemort comes in: "Voldy?"

Harry saw him and screamed at the pale, snake faced man. GET A TAN, SHUT UP, AND BRING MY MAN BACK TO LIFE!" He demanded, and Voldemort looked scared. He lifted his wand and poofed Sirius Black back to life.

Harry: NOT THAT ONE YOU CALDRON HEADED IDIOT!

Voldy: Oh I'm sorry master.

*Snape poofs to life, Sirius dies*

Harry screamed and took out his wand. "GAAAHHHHHH! DIE STUPID DRACULA THINGER MA JIGGER!" Harry killed Snape, then started furiously jerking off to release his anger and hostility.

Ron: O.o

Voldy: O.o

Harry: *Sob* angst* Nobody loves me! *Sob* (angst)

Cedric: I love you Harry!" he said, as a unicorn dropped him off. He shot a thumbs up at the lepricorn on it's back, and the lepricon tossed him a bag of weed, then the unicorn and lepricon both shot back up on the rainbow that had made the ceiling collapse.

Harry jumped up and down clapping his hands. "CEDIEPOO!" Cedric bowed, and then took out his weed and started smoking it. Harry jerked down his pants, forced him onto a chair and started riding his cock with a new energy.

Voldemort's eyes were wide and he started screaming like a Edward fan when Jacob bit off Edward's head.

Ron was also crying and he started kicking his feet on the ground. "But I wanted Harry!"

Cedric took out his wand and started screaming. "AVADA KEDAVERA! HAHA! HARRY'S MINE!"

Harry smiled and threw his arms around Cedric, then he started crying because his bestfriend was dead.

Cedric: Harry, your bipolar.

Harry was angry, so he started screaming once again. "SHUT THE FUCK UP! (sad) I... I know I am. (happy) But Jesus still loves me! (sad) No, JESUS HATES ME! (angry) SHUT UP!"

Cedric yawned and took the joint out of his mouth. "Will you marry me?"

Voldy nodded, and wipped a tear away from his eyes. "Of course I will, beautiful."

Harry whipped out his wand, and killed Voldemort. "HE WAS TALKING TO ME! AVADA KEDAVERA! Yes cediepoo, I'll marry you."

Cedric shook his head. "Ummmm... I was talking to buckbeak. So what do you say, Bucky?"

Harry turned red and jealously killed everyone in the entire world, execept Dobby and Draco for some strange reason. "AVADA KEDAVRA (Buckbeaks dead) AVADA KEDAVRA! (Cedrics dead)

AVADA KEDAVRA! (Dumbles is dead) AVADA KEDAVRA! (Sorting hat is dead) AVADA KEDAVRA! (Michael Jackson is dead) AVADA KEDAVRA! (Hermione is dead) AVADA KEDAVRA! (Fred is dead) AVADA KEDAVRA! (Edward is dead) AVADA KEDAVRA! (Minnie mouse is dead)"

Now that everyone was dead, Harry grabbed Draco by the hair and dragged him into the forbidden forest for a shagging fest. He also made Dobby come so that he could film it and clean up the jizz.

THE END!

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