A/N: 11/Amy! Sorry if its ooc… ill try my best to make it in character.
Amy Pond was sitting on the edge of the TARDIS, her feet hanging out the door into space. The feel of dead air underneath your feet would frighten some people, but it always calmed her. It made her feel like she was six again, sitting on a chair with her feet hanging off the chair, not long enough to reach the ground yet. It was time when everything could be solved by hugging your teddy bear, and if you were scared, you only had to hide under the blankets and you'd be safe.
Of course, that time of life always has to end. You have to grow up and realize everything can't be solved by a stuffed animal and a blanket. There were unavoidable things you had to deal with in life. Things that worried you until you were numb, and things that scared you half to death. Sometimes, you even had to deal with both at the same time. Like thinking you're pregnant. With the child of a man you're not sure you love.
Though all of that was over now, and she didn't have to think about it, she couldn't help but wonder what she would do if that really did happen…
She felt a body sit down beside her, and she automatically knew who it was, even though she didn't look over to see him. Who else would be up while everyone was sleeping, and who else could be that silent? They sat in silence for what seemed forever.
"Are you okay?" The Doctor finally asked, wondering why she would be out here when she would normally be sleeping.
"Yeah, fine," she said, looking over at him for the first time. His hair was a mess, as if his hands had been running through it quite frequently. It was silent for a minute while the two stared at each other.
"Amy, why did you lie earlier? When you said you didn't want to tell Rory that you thought you were pregnant because the baby might have a 'space head', why did you lie?" Amy stared at him, shocked.
"How do you know I lied?" she asked.
"Amy, I could tell a lie from a mile away! I'm the walking lie detector! No, forget that, that sounds rubbish. And anyway, I know you Pond. Do you honestly thing that I don't know you well enough to be able to tell when you're lying?"
The silence lasted a long time while Amy refused to meet the Doctor's eyes. Finally she answered.
"I wouldn't be able to stand it."
"Stand what?"
"His joy. Knowing how happy it would make him to have a kid… because…. I'm not sure I want his kid." She looked at The Doctors face. "I love him… But I don't think I'm ready for that. I don't think I'll ever be ready for that. Because… I still only love him like the best friend he always was to me. I've never loved him more than that. But I had to marry him. I had to say yes! I wouldn't be able to stand his sadness if I said no. He'd be crushed! He loves me. He loves me more than a friend, and I know while I can never give that back to him, I can still make him happy. I can make him so happy by just pretending. And that's what I'll have to do. He spent his whole life loving me, being made fun of for being best friends with 'Mad Pond'. Pretending is the least I can do." With that, she started crying. Noiseless tears pouring from her eyes.
"Oh, Amy," he said looking at her with sadness. He wrapped his arms around her and she began sobbing into his chest. He lightly stroked her hair while whispering reassuring words in her ear.
He thinks this is his fault. If he hadn't left for twelve years, she wouldn't be known as 'Mad Pond'. She would have been much more popular and possibly never have spoken to Rory. This miserable, sobbing girl was his fault. It was always his fault.
That thought tears him apart. Because, though he'll never tell her, though he won't tell anyone, He's always been jealous of Rory. Jealous that Rory got the girl and not him, because he has some… feelings towards Amy. He was honestly surprised that she hadn't figured it out. From what she had told him, the Dream Lord had come on to her, and the Doctor had told Amy that the Dream Lord was himself… just his bad self. But the Dream Lord was still part of him. Those feelings were still inside, though some closer to the surface than others…
He leaned down and kissed her hair. "It'll be alright," he kept saying, while she continued to sob.
She felt like her life was falling apart. She couldn't stand being with Rory, but she couldn't stand to break his heart! And she loved The Doctor, but couldn't take the chance of telling him. What if one day she really did get pregnant? What would she do then? She couldn't afford to stay together with Rory. But he had given his whole life to her. He was her friend when no one else was. How could she break his heat?
She finally calmed down, and pulled away from the Doctor.
"I'm sorry. I ruined your shirt." She said, her voice rough from all the crying. He looked down at his tear stained shirt.
"That doesn't matter," he said softly. "I only have 32 of the same one. This one will just go into a supernova somewhere." Amy smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. He could tell that she was still hurting. "Amy, everything will be okay. I promise we will figure this out." With that he leaned in…
She was expecting the usual kiss on the forehead and was extremely surprised when she felt his soft lips press against her cheek. To most people, it wouldn't be a big deal. But she knew the Doctor; she knew his careful ways when it came to her. The way he always kept her at a distance, never letting his lips come to close to hers, only allowing the occasional hug. This was a big change.
As he leaned in to kiss her cheek, he thought. He knew that this was a big step for him. Maybe not for her, but it was for him. Ever since Rose he's been extremely careful not to get to close to anyone. With that one little kiss he was taking a step to healing. He was admitting that he could, he did, love someone else.
That one sweet kiss changed everything. The doctor had opened one door, to another one closed. But the small kiss was a window. It opened to the possibility of both of them expressing their feelings. Of finally admitting they love each other.
All of that had run through the Doctors head in less than a second. And as he pulled away to look into Amy's eyes he thought,
There are some unavoidable things in life. Maybe this is one of them.
Sorry for the really crappy ending there. I'm trying to write, but I'm not doing very well at it. Review please! Even if it's only to tell me how sucky I am!
