I decided to do another fanfiction, However, this time, it's a game show-somewhat. Kazooie is kidnapped, and Banjo has got to save her. However, Grunty is willing to let Kazooie go IF Banjo can get EVERY single question right. If he gets ONE wrong, Kazooie is.....well, fried chicken. This is an alternate universe, as it differs from another fanfic I'm currently writing. I just thought of this, and I couldn't help myself.
Before we move on, if you remember.
* Anything between these means actions, but if it's all uppercase it means sounds.
() Anything between these means notes from me
*()* Anything between these are thoughts.
ALL UPPERCASE IS SHOUTING.
I'm pretty sure you're all familiar with expressions.
Banjo-Kazooie, COME ON DOWN!!
by Benjamin T. Kitsune
*It's a starry night out. After the latest bout with Gruntilda Winkybullion the witch, Kazooie and Banjo are concered
if the witch will come back. It's very possible, though, as both bear and bird have an aweful feeling about it. Laying
on the grassy hill, they converse with one another as they gaze at the stars.*
Kazooie: Hey, Banjo?
Banjo: Hmmm?
Kazooie: You think ol' Winkybullion will come back?
Banjo: You mean Grunty?
Kazooie: Well....yeah.
Banjo: I dunno. Hopefully not.
*About this time, a four-tailed, gray-furred fox comes up to them.*
Ben: What are you guys doing?
Banjo: Conversing.
Ben: 'Bout what?
Kazooie: Why don't you butt out?
Ben: Hey! I've a right to know, don't I?
Banjo: We were just talking about the witch, and if she might come back.
Ben: It's very possible. Bowser and Sigma always did.
Kazooie: Bowser and Sigma?
Ben: Don't tell me you've never played the Super Mario Bros. and Mega Man X series?
Kazooie: Super Mario Bros.? Mega Man X? No.....
Ben: Well, it's allright. It's just that however, Gruntilda can come back. She probably will too, the question is, how
long will it be?
Kazooie: Yeah, right! What harm can a severed head do?
Ben: Posses people? Sigma did that in MMX when his head was the only thing that remained after you fought
him for the first time.......
Kazooie: Lemme guess. You fought him, beat him, and he came back looking like a Wolverine rip-off or wearing
a cape and holding a sheild?
Ben: Actually those are the first Sigma battles in MMX2 and MMX3......
Kazooie: Can you imangine? Grunty coming back wearing a cape and holding a sheild, with a lightsaber on her
back and has claws made of surgical steel! *begins laughing*
Ben: I dunno. I don't find that very funny....
Banjo: I don't either. I find that kinda scary.
Kazooie: Oh, c'mon!
*Meanwhile, a top on the tower of the Isle O Hags, Gruntilda is still in pain from the kick around, and she can only
see out of one eye.*
Grunty: I'll get even! I will at that! But how can I move without a body?
*For sake of plot , Grunty "mysteriously" floats in the air, and her body more or less pulls itself together. Then the
head comes down on the shoulders and reattaches itself.*
Grunty: Now....what can I do? *ponders, then the ever-so-common lightbulb appears over her head, shining.*
Ah, I know! I'll capture both of them, and make them my slaves!!
*Cackling manically, Grunty uses her magic to create a new broomstick and fly off towards Spiral Mountain. At
Spiral Mountain, Banjo and Kazooie are staring into one another's eyes. Kazooie is imanging herself flying in
the blue sky of Banjo's eyes, while Banjo is virtually lost in her emerald greens. After a couple of minutes, Banjo
blinks.*
Kazooie: *smiles* I win again.
Banjo: *groans*
*Smiling, Kazooie puts a wing out. Smiling back, Banjo puts his arm out. For a second his paw lays across her
wing, before they grab one another in a furious arm wrestling match. Straining, Kazooie SOMEHOW manages to
win, despite the fact she has no arms.*
Kazooie: I win.
Banjo: I give up. Wanna watch some T.V.?
Kazooie: Sure.
*Going inside, they find it quite the picturesque home. After Grunty destroyed it, Banjo and Kazooie tore down the
old house, and rebuilt a new one that was bigger and much better. Cammi Luna is sitting in an armchair, reading.
Ben is curled up in the front of the fireplace, sleeping. Tooty is using Ben as a pillow, and she's also sleeping.*
Banjo: Ooops! I left my backpack outside.
Kazooie: I'll go get it. Don't worry.
Banjo: Okay. Thanks.
*Kazooie walks back outside and goes over to the backpack. As she reaches down to pick it up, she is grabbed
from behind. An arm wraps around her and a hand closes her beak. Struggling furiously, the figure let's go of
Kazooie's beak for only a moment. A moment is all Kazooie needs.
Kazooie: BANJOOOOOO!! HELP MEEEEEEE!!
*The scream reaches Banjo's ears, as well as Ben's, Tooty's, and Cammi's. Bolting outside, Banjo finds he is too
late as Kazooie is tied up and hefted into the air. Ben and Cammi rush outside a second later. All three recognize
the mysterious figure.*
Banjo, Ben, Cammi: *simotaneously* GRUNTILDA!!
Gruntilda: Yes, it's me! I've got the bird! Don't make any sudden moves or.....*she takes out a pocket knife and
holds it to Kazooie's throath*....she's my next Thanksgiving dinner.
Ben: Thanksgiving dinner in Janurary?
Grunty: Whatever. Point is I've got her and you cornered. Now.....I'm a resonable person, and I'm willing to strike a
deal with you. You get Kazooie....as long as you all become my slaves for life, or--
Ben: *ears fold back, bares theeth in a snarl, all four bush up, goes into a fighting stance.* Slave? I'd rather
transform into Mecha Benjamin and self-destruct before turning myself over to you!!
Grunty: You didn't let me finish. OR, Banjo and ONLY Banjo can come up to my lair and we can play another
game, to try and save Kazooie......
Ben: Well, I have no problem sitting this one out. Although, I am quite dissapointed.
Cammi: I want to fight!
Ben: Hey, what chance do we have with Kazooie hostage? You heard Gruntilda, we can't make any sudden
moves or she guts her like a fish!
Cammi: *calms down* You're right.....but we know Kazooie! She'd rather die! *looks at Kazooie* Wouldn't she?
Banjo: *sighs*turns to Ben and Cammi* I think I should go alone. It's not like I haven't before.
Ben: Well, like I said, I have no problem with it.
Cammi: *sighs* Well.....I'll stand aside.
Banjo: Okay. Now you'll stay here?
Ben: Oh, don't worry. We wil. Trust me. *grins* Cammi and I will stay right here......Won't we Cammi? *wink*
Cammi: Uh....yeah! Right here.
Banjo: Okay. *turns to Gruntilda* Well, you know me, I'd do anything to save my friends. Kazooie's no exception.
Grunty: Well alrighty then. See you at the lair! *cackles as she flies into the old lair.*
*After going all the way to the top of tower, it looks like another gameshow, only without the auidience. Gruntilda is
standing at a podium, there is a second podium before her. Kazooie is off to the side, in a glass tube.*
Grunty: Now, since you've beaten me before, why don't we raise the stakes a little? I'll ask you five questions.
You must get EVERY thing I ask you correct or your walking trash-talking feather duster over there will die a
horrible death. I have this little dial here, and if I press this button it will send a VERY powerful electric shock to
your bird friend there. The best thing about it is, you'll get to see her suffer before litterally frying like an egg!
Banjo: *(You damn garbage dump reject.....)* Well....let's get started, shall we?
Gruntilda: Okay. First off, how many Jinjos are there altogether in Banjo-Tooie? 45, 50, or 64?
Banjo: 45!
Grunty: Correct! What is Klungo listed as in the 3rd battle? Revenge Seeking Minion, Career Questioning Minion,
or Mentally Unstable Minion?
Banjo: Career Questioning Minion!
Grunty: Correct! What is a vulpine? A fox or foxlike creature, A dinosuar or dinolike creature, a bear or bearlike
creature, or a bird or birdlike creature?
Banjo: Fox or foxlike creature!
Grunty: Correct! Jerry, Daniel, Ralph and Joe live in a house. Jerry and Daniel go out one night, but when they
return they find Ralph dead. Joe is the only one who could have killed Ralph, but he isn't blamed. Why is that?
Banjo: Uh.....becuase Ralph was a fish, and Joe was a cat?
Gruntilda: Correct! How'd you know that? Well, anyway, here's the final question. HOW OLD AM I?
*Banjo's eyes go wide at this question.*
Banjo: Uh....uh.....
*Banjo fidgets, then twicthes a bit.*
Banjo: I....I...I DON'T KNOW!! *buries head in his paws* I don't know! I don't know!
Gruntilda: HA!! Well, it looks like your friend is history.
Banjo: *begins crying* I'm sorry Kazooie....*suddenly, something snaps inside Banjo. He gets up and stares at
Grunty.*
Grunty: Huh?
*Grunty stops for a minute, and stares right back. Banjo suddenly smacks the device away and begins beating
Grunty like a madman. After a minute, Banjo leaps off Grunty and runs to the glass tube. He then begins punching
it with all of his strength. Kazooie, who was seen the whole thing, looks at Banjo wide-eyed. Gruntilda slowly gets
up and readies a spell.*
Kazooie: *notices Grunty* BANJO, LOOK OUT!!
Grunty: Take this!! *fires the spell*
*The spell comes at a terrifing speed towards Banjo. The spell hits him and knocks him away. Grunty then get the
device and presses the button. At the top of the glass tube, a laser appears, then fires unmericlessly down unto
Kazooie. An electrical surge zaps through the Breegul, about 100 volts at a time. She lets out a blood-curling
scream as she experiences immense pain. The scream is enough for Banjo for get up and rush towards the tube,
punching it again. Her pain is his strength, as he smashes the tube after three punches. Jumping in, he too is
zapped with the electricity, but somehow manages to get out.*
Kazooie: *slowly opens her eyes, looks up at Banjo.* B....Banjo?
Banjo: Shhhh....you're safe now. Don't worry.
Kazooie: You saved me....*closes her eyes and croons*
*Banjo slowly sets Kazooie down and glares at Grunty. He closes his eyes, but when he reopens them, there is a
look of immense rage. With a chilling roar, he leaps unto Gruntilda and starts fighting like he has never before.
Although Gruntilda is all bones, Banjo still somehow manages to draw blood, and a lot of it. After a good beating,
Banjo walks over to Kazooie and picks her up. Unbeknowst to him, Kazooie has seen it all.*
Banjo: *softly* Let's go home, Kaz.
*Silently, they go home. The next day, when Banjo comes in to check on her.....*
Banjo: How are you feeling, Kazooie?
Kazooie: I'm feeling allright....I'm still quite sore....
Banjo: It figures. Your burns haven't quite healed yet.....
Kazooie: Hey, Banj?
Banjo: Yes?
Kazooie: After you saved me.....I saw it.
Banjo: Saw what?
Kazooie: When you finally went after Grunty again. Man, you really kicked ass. You even drew blood!
Banjo: *turns away* I know. I hope I never do that again. There was only one things that really kills me....and that
was....I....I enjoyed doing it.
Kazooie: So? Anybody would, depending on how mad they were. *softly* Hell, I'd do the same for you....
Banjo: What was that?
Kazooie: Nothing, just....
Banjo: Just what?
Kazooie: Nobody's ever really done that to me before....you know risk his or her life just for me......
Banjo: Well.....you were helpless....I couldn't help myself....I had to do something! It....seemed like a good idea at
the time!
Kazooie: Well. I just wanted to thank you....and....*looks at Banjo*....I don't think I'm ever going to look at you the
same again.....
Banjo: What? Just becuase I more or less killed somebody?
Kazooie: It's just before I saw you as lazy, but kind and caring....
Banjo: Now you think of me as a killer, huh?
Kazooie: No! Far from that. A hero, I suppose. A true hero.
Banjo: Well...*blushes a bit.*
*At this point, Kazooie gets out of the bed and walks over to Banjo, and wraps her wings around his waist.*
Kazooie: A hero I think I'm in love with.
Banjo: Gwah?? O_O;; Kazooie, I...I...I...
Kazooie: Just shut up and kiss me, fool! *wraps her wings around his neck and draws him into a kiss. How she
can kiss without any lips is far beyond me, but she does so anyway.*
*After a moment or two, they break away from each other. Banjo opens his eyes and blinks. Kazooie smiles at
him lovingly and hugs him once more, before turning around and walking away. Banjo is left with his mouth open,
eyes wide, in shock and babbling like an idiot.*
THE END.
--Benjamin T. Kitsune
Before we move on, if you remember.
* Anything between these means actions, but if it's all uppercase it means sounds.
() Anything between these means notes from me
*()* Anything between these are thoughts.
ALL UPPERCASE IS SHOUTING.
I'm pretty sure you're all familiar with expressions.
Banjo-Kazooie, COME ON DOWN!!
by Benjamin T. Kitsune
*It's a starry night out. After the latest bout with Gruntilda Winkybullion the witch, Kazooie and Banjo are concered
if the witch will come back. It's very possible, though, as both bear and bird have an aweful feeling about it. Laying
on the grassy hill, they converse with one another as they gaze at the stars.*
Kazooie: Hey, Banjo?
Banjo: Hmmm?
Kazooie: You think ol' Winkybullion will come back?
Banjo: You mean Grunty?
Kazooie: Well....yeah.
Banjo: I dunno. Hopefully not.
*About this time, a four-tailed, gray-furred fox comes up to them.*
Ben: What are you guys doing?
Banjo: Conversing.
Ben: 'Bout what?
Kazooie: Why don't you butt out?
Ben: Hey! I've a right to know, don't I?
Banjo: We were just talking about the witch, and if she might come back.
Ben: It's very possible. Bowser and Sigma always did.
Kazooie: Bowser and Sigma?
Ben: Don't tell me you've never played the Super Mario Bros. and Mega Man X series?
Kazooie: Super Mario Bros.? Mega Man X? No.....
Ben: Well, it's allright. It's just that however, Gruntilda can come back. She probably will too, the question is, how
long will it be?
Kazooie: Yeah, right! What harm can a severed head do?
Ben: Posses people? Sigma did that in MMX when his head was the only thing that remained after you fought
him for the first time.......
Kazooie: Lemme guess. You fought him, beat him, and he came back looking like a Wolverine rip-off or wearing
a cape and holding a sheild?
Ben: Actually those are the first Sigma battles in MMX2 and MMX3......
Kazooie: Can you imangine? Grunty coming back wearing a cape and holding a sheild, with a lightsaber on her
back and has claws made of surgical steel! *begins laughing*
Ben: I dunno. I don't find that very funny....
Banjo: I don't either. I find that kinda scary.
Kazooie: Oh, c'mon!
*Meanwhile, a top on the tower of the Isle O Hags, Gruntilda is still in pain from the kick around, and she can only
see out of one eye.*
Grunty: I'll get even! I will at that! But how can I move without a body?
*For sake of plot , Grunty "mysteriously" floats in the air, and her body more or less pulls itself together. Then the
head comes down on the shoulders and reattaches itself.*
Grunty: Now....what can I do? *ponders, then the ever-so-common lightbulb appears over her head, shining.*
Ah, I know! I'll capture both of them, and make them my slaves!!
*Cackling manically, Grunty uses her magic to create a new broomstick and fly off towards Spiral Mountain. At
Spiral Mountain, Banjo and Kazooie are staring into one another's eyes. Kazooie is imanging herself flying in
the blue sky of Banjo's eyes, while Banjo is virtually lost in her emerald greens. After a couple of minutes, Banjo
blinks.*
Kazooie: *smiles* I win again.
Banjo: *groans*
*Smiling, Kazooie puts a wing out. Smiling back, Banjo puts his arm out. For a second his paw lays across her
wing, before they grab one another in a furious arm wrestling match. Straining, Kazooie SOMEHOW manages to
win, despite the fact she has no arms.*
Kazooie: I win.
Banjo: I give up. Wanna watch some T.V.?
Kazooie: Sure.
*Going inside, they find it quite the picturesque home. After Grunty destroyed it, Banjo and Kazooie tore down the
old house, and rebuilt a new one that was bigger and much better. Cammi Luna is sitting in an armchair, reading.
Ben is curled up in the front of the fireplace, sleeping. Tooty is using Ben as a pillow, and she's also sleeping.*
Banjo: Ooops! I left my backpack outside.
Kazooie: I'll go get it. Don't worry.
Banjo: Okay. Thanks.
*Kazooie walks back outside and goes over to the backpack. As she reaches down to pick it up, she is grabbed
from behind. An arm wraps around her and a hand closes her beak. Struggling furiously, the figure let's go of
Kazooie's beak for only a moment. A moment is all Kazooie needs.
Kazooie: BANJOOOOOO!! HELP MEEEEEEE!!
*The scream reaches Banjo's ears, as well as Ben's, Tooty's, and Cammi's. Bolting outside, Banjo finds he is too
late as Kazooie is tied up and hefted into the air. Ben and Cammi rush outside a second later. All three recognize
the mysterious figure.*
Banjo, Ben, Cammi: *simotaneously* GRUNTILDA!!
Gruntilda: Yes, it's me! I've got the bird! Don't make any sudden moves or.....*she takes out a pocket knife and
holds it to Kazooie's throath*....she's my next Thanksgiving dinner.
Ben: Thanksgiving dinner in Janurary?
Grunty: Whatever. Point is I've got her and you cornered. Now.....I'm a resonable person, and I'm willing to strike a
deal with you. You get Kazooie....as long as you all become my slaves for life, or--
Ben: *ears fold back, bares theeth in a snarl, all four bush up, goes into a fighting stance.* Slave? I'd rather
transform into Mecha Benjamin and self-destruct before turning myself over to you!!
Grunty: You didn't let me finish. OR, Banjo and ONLY Banjo can come up to my lair and we can play another
game, to try and save Kazooie......
Ben: Well, I have no problem sitting this one out. Although, I am quite dissapointed.
Cammi: I want to fight!
Ben: Hey, what chance do we have with Kazooie hostage? You heard Gruntilda, we can't make any sudden
moves or she guts her like a fish!
Cammi: *calms down* You're right.....but we know Kazooie! She'd rather die! *looks at Kazooie* Wouldn't she?
Banjo: *sighs*turns to Ben and Cammi* I think I should go alone. It's not like I haven't before.
Ben: Well, like I said, I have no problem with it.
Cammi: *sighs* Well.....I'll stand aside.
Banjo: Okay. Now you'll stay here?
Ben: Oh, don't worry. We wil. Trust me. *grins* Cammi and I will stay right here......Won't we Cammi? *wink*
Cammi: Uh....yeah! Right here.
Banjo: Okay. *turns to Gruntilda* Well, you know me, I'd do anything to save my friends. Kazooie's no exception.
Grunty: Well alrighty then. See you at the lair! *cackles as she flies into the old lair.*
*After going all the way to the top of tower, it looks like another gameshow, only without the auidience. Gruntilda is
standing at a podium, there is a second podium before her. Kazooie is off to the side, in a glass tube.*
Grunty: Now, since you've beaten me before, why don't we raise the stakes a little? I'll ask you five questions.
You must get EVERY thing I ask you correct or your walking trash-talking feather duster over there will die a
horrible death. I have this little dial here, and if I press this button it will send a VERY powerful electric shock to
your bird friend there. The best thing about it is, you'll get to see her suffer before litterally frying like an egg!
Banjo: *(You damn garbage dump reject.....)* Well....let's get started, shall we?
Gruntilda: Okay. First off, how many Jinjos are there altogether in Banjo-Tooie? 45, 50, or 64?
Banjo: 45!
Grunty: Correct! What is Klungo listed as in the 3rd battle? Revenge Seeking Minion, Career Questioning Minion,
or Mentally Unstable Minion?
Banjo: Career Questioning Minion!
Grunty: Correct! What is a vulpine? A fox or foxlike creature, A dinosuar or dinolike creature, a bear or bearlike
creature, or a bird or birdlike creature?
Banjo: Fox or foxlike creature!
Grunty: Correct! Jerry, Daniel, Ralph and Joe live in a house. Jerry and Daniel go out one night, but when they
return they find Ralph dead. Joe is the only one who could have killed Ralph, but he isn't blamed. Why is that?
Banjo: Uh.....becuase Ralph was a fish, and Joe was a cat?
Gruntilda: Correct! How'd you know that? Well, anyway, here's the final question. HOW OLD AM I?
*Banjo's eyes go wide at this question.*
Banjo: Uh....uh.....
*Banjo fidgets, then twicthes a bit.*
Banjo: I....I...I DON'T KNOW!! *buries head in his paws* I don't know! I don't know!
Gruntilda: HA!! Well, it looks like your friend is history.
Banjo: *begins crying* I'm sorry Kazooie....*suddenly, something snaps inside Banjo. He gets up and stares at
Grunty.*
Grunty: Huh?
*Grunty stops for a minute, and stares right back. Banjo suddenly smacks the device away and begins beating
Grunty like a madman. After a minute, Banjo leaps off Grunty and runs to the glass tube. He then begins punching
it with all of his strength. Kazooie, who was seen the whole thing, looks at Banjo wide-eyed. Gruntilda slowly gets
up and readies a spell.*
Kazooie: *notices Grunty* BANJO, LOOK OUT!!
Grunty: Take this!! *fires the spell*
*The spell comes at a terrifing speed towards Banjo. The spell hits him and knocks him away. Grunty then get the
device and presses the button. At the top of the glass tube, a laser appears, then fires unmericlessly down unto
Kazooie. An electrical surge zaps through the Breegul, about 100 volts at a time. She lets out a blood-curling
scream as she experiences immense pain. The scream is enough for Banjo for get up and rush towards the tube,
punching it again. Her pain is his strength, as he smashes the tube after three punches. Jumping in, he too is
zapped with the electricity, but somehow manages to get out.*
Kazooie: *slowly opens her eyes, looks up at Banjo.* B....Banjo?
Banjo: Shhhh....you're safe now. Don't worry.
Kazooie: You saved me....*closes her eyes and croons*
*Banjo slowly sets Kazooie down and glares at Grunty. He closes his eyes, but when he reopens them, there is a
look of immense rage. With a chilling roar, he leaps unto Gruntilda and starts fighting like he has never before.
Although Gruntilda is all bones, Banjo still somehow manages to draw blood, and a lot of it. After a good beating,
Banjo walks over to Kazooie and picks her up. Unbeknowst to him, Kazooie has seen it all.*
Banjo: *softly* Let's go home, Kaz.
*Silently, they go home. The next day, when Banjo comes in to check on her.....*
Banjo: How are you feeling, Kazooie?
Kazooie: I'm feeling allright....I'm still quite sore....
Banjo: It figures. Your burns haven't quite healed yet.....
Kazooie: Hey, Banj?
Banjo: Yes?
Kazooie: After you saved me.....I saw it.
Banjo: Saw what?
Kazooie: When you finally went after Grunty again. Man, you really kicked ass. You even drew blood!
Banjo: *turns away* I know. I hope I never do that again. There was only one things that really kills me....and that
was....I....I enjoyed doing it.
Kazooie: So? Anybody would, depending on how mad they were. *softly* Hell, I'd do the same for you....
Banjo: What was that?
Kazooie: Nothing, just....
Banjo: Just what?
Kazooie: Nobody's ever really done that to me before....you know risk his or her life just for me......
Banjo: Well.....you were helpless....I couldn't help myself....I had to do something! It....seemed like a good idea at
the time!
Kazooie: Well. I just wanted to thank you....and....*looks at Banjo*....I don't think I'm ever going to look at you the
same again.....
Banjo: What? Just becuase I more or less killed somebody?
Kazooie: It's just before I saw you as lazy, but kind and caring....
Banjo: Now you think of me as a killer, huh?
Kazooie: No! Far from that. A hero, I suppose. A true hero.
Banjo: Well...*blushes a bit.*
*At this point, Kazooie gets out of the bed and walks over to Banjo, and wraps her wings around his waist.*
Kazooie: A hero I think I'm in love with.
Banjo: Gwah?? O_O;; Kazooie, I...I...I...
Kazooie: Just shut up and kiss me, fool! *wraps her wings around his neck and draws him into a kiss. How she
can kiss without any lips is far beyond me, but she does so anyway.*
*After a moment or two, they break away from each other. Banjo opens his eyes and blinks. Kazooie smiles at
him lovingly and hugs him once more, before turning around and walking away. Banjo is left with his mouth open,
eyes wide, in shock and babbling like an idiot.*
THE END.
--Benjamin T. Kitsune