So it would be extremely helpful for you to have read the story this is the sequel to; 'But You Hesitated.' But I suppose you could kind of follow without having read it.
So this is the sequel, back by popular demand and I am trying to work it like the previous story where I upload all of the chapters together (or at least a few at a time) because as a fanfic reader myself, I know how horrible the wait is.
Anyway, please leave nice comments for me to make my day… pretty please.
In the last Ray/Felicity story I wrote a guest literally just wrote: 'Ugh hate Raylicity, it's just wrong.' and I'm like 'Then WTF are you doing reading a fanfic for them man?' Please guys, don't leave reviews like that.
Oh and – unlike its predecessor – this story shall be in first person point of view – hopefully successfully.
Confessions on the Corner Table.
Felicity's Point of View.
I take a sip of the expensive red wine as I fiddle with my napkin, listening intently to the man sat over the candlelit table to me as he smiles profoundly at a new high-tech development in the Applied Sciences division at Queen Consolidated. It's normally something I would be interested in, demanding further knowledge of the technology and evaluating its effectiveness to myself as I smile proudly at the man I have fallen so desperately in love with.
Ray Palmer.
He pauses midsentence as he reads my expression as disinterest, opposed to the smearing dread that actually consumes me. An amused smile broadens on his perfectly chiselled face as he regards me, eyes wide in intrigue. "Sorry Felicity, am I boring you?" He teases, sipping his own glass of red wine as my eyes flit across the room.
We're the only ones in the restaurant, in fact closing time was an hour ago. But Ray, with all his resources and money, convinced the cheery Chinese owner to stay open a couple extra hours for a lump sum of cash, since Ray's meeting was running late and I had my own Arrow related issues to quickly wrap up.
"No, sorry," I reply drowsily, "I was just thinking of the first time we came here." And it's true, that was almost exactly what I was thinking about, well sort of anyway.
Ray shines a contagious smile my way and I can't help but reciprocate the action with a small, undignified laugh at my expense, "Didn't we sit at this exact table?" He asks, peering around the room from where we sit in the corner of the hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant.
I chuckle lightly, leaning forward onto the table setting, "yes, I believe we did," I reply, looking deep into his beautiful brown eyes, "and you asked me about my childhood."
"And the Arrow," he retorts, leading the conversation just where I want it. See, at least three evenings a week I have to excuse myself to head on down to the Foundry, helping the Arrow fight crime in Starling City, and Ray – despite having his suspicions since the moment we met – have never, since that very first date of ours, asked for clarification. The thing is, within moments of meeting me, he mastered the one thing Oliver Queen never could; trust in me and my judgement.
"And I told you that I would tell you everything one day, if our relationship continued to move forward," I add to his retort, innocent smile plastered across my blushing face, stretching my signature bright pink lips.
My hands move to play with the hem of my simple, white business dress as I await his response anxiously, wanting nothing more than to clarify all of his gut feelings towards my evenings away.
"So you do work for him?" Ray asks broadly, his eyes flicking to ensure we are alone, the two chefs, the owner and the hostess all hidden in the kitchen out of sight, preparing our next course as we wait.
Our eyes meet again and I see pure respect within them, and so I answer as clear as day, "Yes. Yes, I do."
He nods, following my words as they register in his mind, the loud whisper filling the silent air with unspoken words, "What sort of thing do you do for him?" He asks quietly, leaning in towards me slightly, "How long have you been working together? Is there anyone else? Who is he?"
I laugh, louder now with confidence that I wasn't about to get a lecture on working with once wanted criminals, "I mostly hack, lend a hand from behind the scenes but on occasion I've had to step out into the field," I begin to answer, racking my brain to remember his other questions in the long list he threw at me, "I started working for him when Walter Steele went missing, do you remember that?"
Ray nods in answer and I thank every deity I've heard of that he hasn't yet interrupted with more questions, like I know he's infamous for.
"Well the Arrow showed up bleeding out in the back of my mini chasing down a lead for Walter's disappearance, and I joined his crusade to help find my boss. Then I guess I got addicted, despite not liking the bodies he was dropping. So I only really considered myself a true part of the team when he tried to find a less lethal way, which I think he's done a pretty good job at so far."
"And the Canary and Arsenal, are they all part of the same team? You work with them too right?" He reiterates his previous question for me to answer, eyes full of intrigue.
I nod slowly, "They're all in the same team, and yes I work very closely to them all. In fact, I grew to be especially quite close to the first Canary, before she um… passed, and someone else took her place." I reply, wiping a small, warm tear that was budding in the corner of my right eye as I thought back to Sara Lance, a good friend before her murder. And unknown to the public, but Laurel quickly took her place as the Canary, wanting nothing more than to continue her sister's good work.
"There have been two versions of the Canary?" Ray asks, leaning over the table to swipe his thumb over my left eye to wipe away the cascading tear as I choke the rest to the wet flock back.
"Yeah, you know when I first accepted a job with you?" I ask, taking in his curt nod as an answer, "Well that was in the aftermath of her death, it took us months to find her killer and the Arrow refused to portray any emotion over the incident."
"So when you came in an quit your job at Tech Village, and you were crying waiting for the elevator…"
"…I was crying over Sa- the Canary." I stop myself before revealing her name, placing my shaking hand into one of Ray's larger one as they rest on the table. "What you said before I got in, about whatever it is getting better, it really helped me move on."
He nods sweetly with a sympathetic smile, "glad I could help."
Then I catch the hint of something in his eye and I realise the one question he's dying to know the answer to; 'who is the Arrow?' and It's the one question I can't – won't – answer.
"I can't tell you who he is," I speak softly over the table to my boyfriend of a year, squeezing his hand as I do.
He sighs solemnly, "I know," then his smile returns, big and bright and inviting all at once, and I once again have to mirror his expression, "It's not your secret to tell, but what I really want to know is if you're safe with him? On your occasional undercover missions."
And there it is; the anchor to what cannot be called a light conversation, the one thing I've been trying to avoid the past year. I stare up into his eyes, filled with nothing but concern for my well-being and I know I have to tell him the truth, even if it means I have to battle him to let me continue my work with the Arrow.
"I've had a few close calls, but he hasn't not saved me yet."
"Yet," Ray repeats, "He hasn't not saved you yet."
I try to hide my nerves with a smile and a joke, "What are you, my parrot?" His eyes bore into mine. Yep, that didn't work. So I try again, "I admit that it can get quite dangerous, I've been close to death a fair few times, but that comes with the territory, I'm doing my bit to save this city, just like you."
Yes, it's a low blow, and with another squeeze of his hand in mine I realise that it's not as low as I'm willing to stoop to stay as part of Team Arrow, without losing this glorious man before me.
When he speaks, its hushed and urgent, like he wants this bubbling argument to never explode, and I have to agree with him there; a fight with Ray is never pretty, I hate to see his disappointed face. But then again, the make-up sex is pretty extraordinary. "I don't my life in the hands of a murderer to do so."
"Don't pretend that your lifestyle doesn't bring any unnecessary risks to the table," I speak, just as furious in my whisper, and this is the even lower blow, "You can't tell me that there aren't people out there who would gladly murder you given half the chance for all the changes you've made in the city, in fact I've had to stop the Arrow from coming after you many of times," and then my voice drops even lower as I add to myself, "for a slightly different reason however."
"What?" Ray questions, his hushed voice gone as I realise he heard what I said, "What different reasons?"
Remember that whole telling the truth business? I'm considering revoking that promise, "What do you mean?" I feign innocence, "What different reasons?"
"You said the Arrow wants to come after me, but for different reasons than for the work I've been doing that some people would describe as unethical as I thrive in building Star City up from the ashes of Starling. So what different reason would that be?" He asks, his voice kind and forgiving on the outside, but I can hear the edge of annoyance at my inability to respond.
So I guess that honesty business is bad on, so I mumble the following confession, "the Arrow kind of, maybe has a little bit of a thing for me, like a like like thing, which used to go both ways but no longer does, because now I like like you, well not like like really, because I love you but you already knew that, so I'm going to stop talking in three… two… one…" And only then do I breathe.
Ray chuckles slightly at my babbling like he usually does, before taking a more relaxed tone to continue, "So that's Oliver Queen, the Arrow and the mail man for our office building that like like you," he mocks cutely, "any other admirers I should know about?"
"Only you," I reply teasingly, before turning to serious as I add, "at least I hope you still like like me after finding out about my Team Arrow work."
"Felicity," he sighs, raising our joined hands to kiss my exposed knuckles lightly, "you could be the Arrow yourself and I'd still have to be dragged away from you. This changes nothing except that I'll be three times as worried now when you cancel a date under mysterious circumstances."
"I love you," I whisper.
He smiles warmly once more, "Move in with me."
"What?" I question, taken aback from his abrupt comment, "I was actually expecting 'I love you too' not that precise sentence." I mumble back to him, biting my lip nervously as I consider the thought of living with Ray Fricking Palmer.
He chuckles lightly, "I love you too, Felicity. And when you want to move into my apartment with me, or I don't know move into yours or get a new place… whatever. The offer's there."
I take a sip of my wine before placing it back down onto the table, letting go of Ray's hand so the hostess can place our meals on the table before us, smiling. When she leaves and Ray begins to dip into his meal, chopsticks in hand, I sit there still, not looking at the food before me but intently at my boyfriend.
When he looks up and sees the change in me he stops eating, "I didn't mean to frighten you, I just wanted you to know where I am. It's fine if you're not there yet Felicity," and still when I don't move he asks, "Aren't you going to eat?"
"Yes." I answer him, still not moving.
He laughs when he sees that I'm not making a move to eat, putting down his chopsticks and wiping his mouth on his napkin, "Okay then… do you know how?" He teases lightly, and I can see the uncertainty in his eyes as he questions what I'm doing.
"I wasn't talking about the food," I say slowly without hesitation, "Yes, I'll move in with you."