"Here, drink this." Kevin said, holding a small bottle of something vile looking. Dean looked on with concern. He had a right to. The second trial was for Sam to go into hell, so going into hell was what he was going to do.
".. what is it?" Sam asked, slightly worried that whatever it was in that vial might kill him. Kevin couldn't cook. At all.
"It's just something I threw together. It'll make your journey into hell less painful." Kevin answered, shaking the bottle a little. Sam continued to look at it apprehensively. Kevin sighed.
"Look, the tablet helped me figure out the recipe, so you're not gonna die or anything. I think." He shook the bottle again. Sam sighed and snatched it out of Kevin's hand, popping it open and draining the bottle in one gulp. His face scrunched up at the taste and and he coughed a couple times.
"So.. now what?" But before anyone could get a word in, the floor opened up and Sam fell.
Dean and Kevin rushed to the edge, but the hole closed up before they could do anything.
"What the fuck was that?" Dean asked.
"I uh .. I think that was a portal to hell." Kevin responded sheepishly.
"I'm calling Cas." Dean spun around to call the angel.
Sam strode through Hell, looking at all the cages and people. He stopped at a door labled "Media Center". Inside was a brilliantly designed room filled with a table lined with computers and TV's. Sam walked in and sat down at the chair, sighing with pleasure as he sank into the cushions. He rolled forward, and placed his hands down at a keyboard of a computer. He opened up a hunter chatroom.
Sam has joined the chat.
Sam: Hey guys.
Dean: Sam! Where have you been?
Castiel: We were worried about you.
Sam: I'm in the computer room in hell. It's actually really nice in here. I don't think im gonna leave till later.
Dean: But you're supposed to be saving an innocent soul or something
Sam: and
Dean: And ... are you not gonna do that?
Sam: nope
Castiel: Why, Sam?
Sam: Cause I like it in here. Crowley did a good job with decoration
Dean: ...
Sam: Oh! Cas I have something to ask you
Gabriel has joined the chat.
Gabriel: yoyo
God has joined the chat.
Dean: Wait WHAT
Castiel: Father? Where have you been?
Gabriel: Sammy! Hows my favorite Winchester?
Sam: Hey Gabe
Castiel: oh and yes Sam your question is?
Sam: Oh God this question is for you too
God: yes sam
Dean: Sam how the fuck are you just conversing with god like it's no big deal
Sam: Dean shut the fuck up i'm trying to ask god a question and stop you from crying when people kiss on Dr Sexy
Sam: okay
Sam: God is it okay for Dean and Cas to get together yes or no
Castiel: What
Dean: waht
God: Of fucking course do you have any idea how long i've been rooting for those two to get it on? jesus.
Jesus has joined the chat.
Jesus: you called
God: Go away jesus
Sam: Yeah go away jesus no one likes you
Jesus: Well fuck you too sam I'll have you know I'm dog sitting and have nothing better to do
Dean: wait so me and Cas can get together
God: Yes dean how lONG WILL IT TAKE YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT YES YOU AND CAS CAN GET TOGETHER YOU TWO CAN FUCK EACH OTHERS BRAINS OUT FOR ALL I CARE
Above ground, Castiel quietly appeared behind Dean, who was sitting at his computer with his mouth hanging open.
"So .. it appears my Father approves of our union." He began.
Dean twirled around and smashed his and Castiel's faces together, only pulling back for air.
"Yeah ... So do I." He said breathlessly. Just then he realised that Cas was carrying a laptop.
"... what's this?" He asked, confused. Castiel took the laptop and placed it beside Dean's.
"Now we can talk together." He grinned.
Kevin has joined the chat.
Sam: Omfg God i do not need that image ingrained in my head ok
Kevin: shit oops
Dean: Kevin what did you do to my brother
Sam: what, dean i'm fine
Dean: No, sam, no you're not
Kevin: Um
Kevin: It's just a side effect i guess
Kevin: His sass levels will return to normal when he comes back
Sam: My sass levels what
Gabriel: To be honest I find it hot ;)
Dean: okay really how are dead people chatting with us
God: Well Dean, I guess you could call it ... supernatural
Dean: what
God: You're fucing talking to god you idiot is that not enough to tell you that weird things are going to possibly happen in this chat including having dead people talk to us
Gabriel: Well said God
Gabriel: Now sam
Gabriel: Don't you have something to tell your brother
Kevin has left the chat.
Sam: no
Dean: what
Gabriel: Are you suuuuuuuuure?
Sam: Yep
Dean: Sam do you have something to tell me
Sam: Nope
Dean: Sam
Sam: Dean
Dean: Sam
Sam: Dean
Lucifer has joined the chat.
Sam: Fuck
Lucifer: why hellooo saaaaaaaaaam
Sam: Luci you can just fuck right off okay
Dean: Lucifer?
Castiel: Brother, I believe it would be wise if you left.
"Having fun, are we?" A voice sounded from behind Sam.
He spun around to see Crowley step through the doors, a couple of tiny hellhound puppies following in behind him. One of them bounded right up to sam, and yipped at his feet. He grabbed it around the middle and placed it in his lap.
"What do you want?' Sam asked.
"I want you to go away." Crowley answered.
"Too bad, so sad. I'm staying here." was Sam's reply.
Crowley seemed confused. "I'll sic my dog on you. My other one, y'know, the one you didn't KILL."
Sam smirked. "Pssh. I'm half demon, the hellhounds will ignore me. See?" He lifted the pup up. "This one likes me." The puppy licked his finger.
Crowley made a face at Sam and vanished.
Dean: Guys.
Sam: What
Dean: I think me and cas are getting married
Sam: woah wait what isnt this a little soon
Dean: We've been waiting for five fucking years sam
Charlie has joined the chat.
Chuck has joined the chat.
Becky has joined the chat.
Charlie: Wait what's this about Dean getting married
Chuck: guys please
Dean: holy shit where did you all come from
Gabriel: do i need to get god to spell it all out for you again
God: you know what there are just way too many people here I think I'm gonna go
Dean: what do you mean too many people you created half the people here
God: well if you havent noticed Dean I'm a bit antisocial
Becky: OHMYGOD DEAN CONGRATZ!
Sam: beccky go away nobody wants you here
Chuck: Becky please calm down
Becky: BUT DEAN'S GETTING MARRIED
Becky: WE SHOULD BE CELEBRATING
God has left the chat.
Gabriel: Who the fuck is this chick
Charlie: She needs to lay off the caps lock jeez
Becky: IM SO EXCITED DEAN CAN I BE THE FLOWER GIRL?!
Dean: NO
Sam: NO
Chuck: NO
Becky: :'(((((((((((
Gabriel: No but who the fuck are you
Sam: She's Becky, part time fangirl, my ex wife
Becky: Who the fuck are you
Gabriel: I'm sam's boyfriend. I'm new.
Gabriel: Actually I'm not new i used to be dead
Sam: GABE
Dean: WHAT
Castiel: Congratulations, Gabriel.
Lucifer: But Sam, I thought we were fuck buddies?
Sam: Luci no
Lucifer: But sammmmm what we had was special
Sam: how did you even get wifi in the pit i thought that wasn't possible otherwise I would have updated my twitter while i was down there
Dean: you have a twitter
Sam: yeah
Dean: wwhy did I not know this
Sam: because you're stupid
Lucifer: we've always had wifi in the pit jesus sam
Jesus: Did someone call
Sam: NO JESUS NO ONE CALLED YOU NOW GO AWAY
Jesus: Just one quick question are you supposed to give dogs chocolate
Charlie: fuck no
Charlie: And jesus?
Jesus: well that explains why he hasn't moved in awhile
Charlie: Did jesus just poison a dog with chocolate
Sam: apparently
Jesus has left the chat.
The hellhound in Sam's lap sniffed and yawned. Sam smiled and continued to pet it, internally wrestling himself about keeping it. He scratched under the hellhound's chin, affection coursing through him. Bobby John, he decided. The pup would be named Bobby John.
Sam looked at the chat again. His heart ached to see Gabe in person, to actually get to touch him. So far they had just had a long-distance internet relationship going. Yeah, Sam knew just how much of a girl he sounded like. He decided to ask.
Sam has requested a private chat with Gabriel.
Gabriel: sup sammy
Sam: why won't you show yourself in person
Gabriel: wow needy
Sam: you said it yourself we're dating now why aren't you on my dick yet
Gabriel: You still have those goddamned sigils on your ribs
Sam: fuck
Gabriel: I need to have a strongly worded conversation with Castiel
Sam: Im in the media center in hell
Gabriel: got it
Gabriel has left the chat.
"Well, hello handsome." Gabriel said from behind him.
Sam spun to see Gabriel, his Gabriel, standing there in person. Well, not exactly in person. All he was wearing was a pair of bright red booty shorts that said "party".
Sam was so inexplicably turned on that Bobby John yelped and hopped off Sam's lap and onto the table, curling up next to the keyboard.
Gabe stalked forward, sitting himself in Sam's lap. He slowly ground his hips into the bigger man's groin, smirking at the groan he got in return.
"Damnit Gabe, why do you still have clothing on?" Sam moaned, bucking his hips back up in retaliation.
"Tsk, needy." Gabe replied breathlessly. He snapped his fingers and suddenly they were both naked, save for the huge dildo shoved into Gabe's ass.
When Sam saw this he gasped, left completely speechless at what his angel had done for him. It was just so Gabe. He pulled the dildo out slowly, relishing each and every gasp and whimper he got, until the angel dug his nails into Sam's legs and groaned, "Just get the fuck on with it."
He watched the chat as Sam pounded into him.
Sam: Hey guys guess who's getting fucked right now. that's right, this guy -G
Dean: what the fuck
Balthazar has joined the chat.
Chuck has left the chat.
Becky has left the chat.
Balthazar: Gabriel is that really neccessary
Sam: yup -G
Castiel: Gabriel, will you please stop trying to announce your sexual exploits to us via chat.
Sam: fine, you guys are party poopers. I'm having lots of fun bouncing on Sam's dick. ahaahahHAHAHAHA -G
Dean: GABRIEL WHAT THE FUCK
Fuck has joined the chat.
Fuck: Did somebody call me?
Dean: really
Dean: REALLY
Fuck has changed their name to Jesus.
Jesus: Hahaha nope just me
Dean: REALLY
Charlie: you have no idea how hard I'm laughing right now holy fuck
Sam: Did someone say holy fuck -G
Dean: GABRIEL JUST FUCK OFF OKAY
Sam: But that's what you said you didn't want to hear about. It's what i'm doing right now, actually. Fuck. -G
Sam: and jesus go away or I'll call fathRE -G
Jesus: fine ...
Jesus has left the chat.
-
Crowley has requested a private chat with Sam.
Crowley: you better not be fucking on my furniture
Sam: too late-G
Crowley: GOD FUCKING DAMNIT
Sam: I'm about to come all over your floor. And chaiJSFD
Crowley: Oh hell no.
Sam: Too late. -G
Crowley: OH HELL NO.
Sam: have fun cleaning that up- G
Sam has left the chat.
"Wait, so you actually have wings?" Dean asked, looking at Cas incredulously. Castiel nodded.
"Can I see them?" He asked eagerly.
Castiel looked apprehensive, but he nodded again. He closed his eyes, and after a beat, a whooshing sound paired with a burst of light and suddenly Castiel had a pair of lightbrown wings as long as Dean's arm.
"Woah." He gaped. A sudden thought occurred to him. "I know how we could put these to good use."
Bobby has joined the chat.
Bobby: Sammy
Bobby: guuuuuurl isn't your ratchet ass supposed to be saving me right now
Dean: Apparently he's a little tied up
Dean: and bobby what the fuck is wrong with you?
Bobby: don't be an idiot Dean
Dean: what
Sam: So i'm back and apologise for Gabriel
Sam: Bobby what
Bobby: Gurl aren't you supposed to be breaking me out
Sam: Not if you keep nagging me like that
Bobby: I will pull out yo weave sam winchester
Sam: bobby I don't have a weave
Bobby: SAMMY
Bobby: SSAAAM
Bobby: SAAAVE MEE SAMMYYYY
Sam: Bobby will you just shut up for a second i need to talk to dean about something
Charlie: Is something wrong with your uncle cause he sounds like an old black woman
Dean: Sam?
Sam: dean can I have this hellhound
Dean: no
Sam: But deeeeeaaan he's so cuuute and he has a name
Sam: i named him bobby john
Dean: no
Sam: Cas do you want kittens
Castiel: Kittens? yes
Castiel: i would very much like to get kittens
Castiel: Dean may we get kittens
Dean: Okay fine yeah we'll get you some kittens.
Sam: See you let cas get kittens why can't I get this hellhound
Dean: Because It's a hellhound
Sam: BUT DEEEEEEAN
Dean: No
Sam: BUT DEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAN HE'S SO CUUUUUUTE
Dean: no sam we are not getting a hellhound
Sam: Then I'll steal cas's kittens
Castiel: NO SAM
Castiel: YOU ARE AN ABOMINATION
Sam: WELL FUCK YOU TOO CAS
Dean: wait WhAT
Balthazar: I believe castiel and sam are fighting about kittens
Dean: yES THANK
Balthazar: I don't want to be in the middle of this I'm going to leave
Balthazar has left the chat.
Gabriel: Don't worry sam we'll get you that hellhound
Sam: THANK you gabe
Dean: Not in my house you're not
God has joined the chat.
Charlie: Wait sam how the hell do you have wifi in hell
Sam: I have wifi anywhere didn't you notice
Dean: We never not have wifi
God: Why is wifi such a big deal holy crap
Charlie: GOD?!
God: hello charlie
Charlie: Is god here because you have supernatural wifi
God: yes
Charlie: oh
Charlie: right
Charlie: of course
Sam: Back to bobby john
Dean: I said no, sam
Sam: BUT DEEEEEEEEEAN
Dean: I will move out with cas and our kittens okay
Sam: BUT HE'LL BE A GOOD LITTLE HELLHOUND
Dean: SAM NO
Charlie: Sam you can visit me with bobby john he sounds cute
Sam: thank
Dean: goddamnit
Gabriel: Dean just let sam have the hellhound okay
Dean: I just wanted to get married
Castiel: yes
Castiel: Let's get married
God: ohmyself ohmyself it's like all of my dreams are coming true
Sam: Get on webcam I wanna record this
Dean has set up a webcam broadcast.
Sam has begun recording Dean's broadcast.
All Sam could see was Dean, standing there awkwardly. Dean cleared his throat.
Suddenly, a pair of light brown wings popped out from behind him, and in a booming voice, he uttered, "You insignificant mortals."
Sam: HOLY SHIT
God: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dean looked at the chat and started laughing. Cas stepped out from behind him and tucked his wings away.
Sam: that wasn'T FUNNY DEAN
God: I found it hilarious
Charlie: I agree with god
Charlie: I can't get over how weird that sounds
Dean: We need a preist or something tho if we're gonna do this.
God: I'll do it. (asjhdfksdj you guuuys)
Sam: really god
Sam: are YOU really getting worked up over being the priest at cas and dean's wedding
God: gosh Sam you just dont understand
God: okay well I haven't really done this in quite a few years
God: just ... say your vows right now or something
Cas and Dean stood across from each other, and Dean took Castiel's hand.
"Castiel, ever since I've met you, you've always been special to me. At first, you were an ass, but then, you were my ass. It took me so long to realize that I was in love with you that I want to smack myself. I'm sorry. But now, I hope we can actually do something about this thing we have, instead of ignoring it like we have for so long now. I love you, Castiel."
Sam was not crying. He was not.
"Dean, Hester was right. From the moment I laid a hand on you in hell, I was lost. But not in a bad way, never. I was lost to the angels. I had fallen for you. I didn't understand what it was I felt for you for so long until Sam helped me. And I know now that making you wait for so long was wrong of me. I was so lost without you, Dean. And I love you."
God: I'm not crying
God: really I'm not
Charlie: It's fucking raining outside yes you are
Sam: HUSH LET THEM DO THIS
God: Okay. Dean, do you take Castiel as your husband, in sickness or in health, till death do us part?
"I do." Dean answered, staring into Castiel's eyes.
God: Do you, Castiel, take Dean Winchester as your husband, in sickness or in health, till death do us part?
"I do." Castiel's voice reverberated around the room, and Dean swore he felt it in his bones.
God: I now pronounce you married. You may kiss eachother.
Dean leaned in for a kiss and Castiel met him halfway. They quickly forgot they had an audience, and the kissing became more than PG-13 before Castiel snapped his fingers and the webcam shut off.
Charlie: well
Sam: I really didn't need to see that
Sam: gabe says he didn't either.
God: that was fucking hot i don't know what you're talking about
Sam: um
God: after 6000+ years of living I have to get my entertainment somehow
Sam: well .. cool .. iguess
Charlie: okay
God: Well imma go and spy on those too
God: They're probably getting it on right now
Sam: ugh GOD STOP
God has left the chat.
Charlie: Yeah .. I'm gonna go too. I got some thing in moondor to get too.
Sam: Charlie make sure you get laid this time
Dean has left the chat.
Castiel has left the chat.
Charlie: Yeah okay I'll do that
Charlie: )
Charlie has left the chat.
Sam has left the chat.
"Well ..." Gabriel started, as Sam shut off the computer.
"No Gabe I do not have the same kind of libido as you, and seeing my brother make out with Cas like that has made me softer than I have ever been."
Gabriel frowned. "About that ... it doesn't make what we're doing incest, right? Cause now we're kind of brother-in-laws..."
Sam stopped and thought about it. After a minute of thinking, he just shrugged.
Gabe grinned.