Fire here!

Sand and I were wondering where Itachi got his shoes considering how he was wearing the standard blue sandals when he left Konoha. The cloak and purple nail polish were all provided by Akatsuki, but where did he get those purple shoes?

In an interview, we asked Itachi that very question. Here's how it went:

Fire: Now, it's an honour to introduce Itachi.

Itachi: glares at Fire

Fire: Itachi-kun.

Itachi: eyes go Sharingan

Fire: cowers a little Uh...Itachi-san!

Itachi: eyes go Mangekyou Sharingan

Fire: Itachi-sama! Itachi-dono!

Itachi: tries to put Fire through Tsukiyomi

Fire: closes eyes and smiles as if nothing had unusual had happened Well, on with the interview... We know that the cloak and...uh...nail polish were provided by your leader, but readers want to know where you got those shoes.

Itachi: ...

Fire: So any secrets you might want to disclose to your fans about where you got those shoes? Did your leader give them to you, or did he charge you a fee for them, or something like that?

Itachi: ...

Akatsuki leader: Give them shoes! Are you crazy! I won't give them shoes! Those cloaks are expensive enough to make, and what with them shredding them to pieces all the time too! I made him buy his own shoes like everyone else!

Kisame: (mumbles under breath) Cheapskate...

Akatsuki leader: glares at Kisame

Kisame: cowers in fear

Akatsuki leader: grabs Kisame by the collar and drags him out of the room

Kisame: No...! Help! He'll kill me!

Akatsuki leader (thought): Maybe just hurt him a little...okay, a lot!

Sand: shakes head and sighs

Itachi: tries to put Sand through Tsukiyomi

Sand: pulls out a mirror

Itachi: puts himself through Tsukiyomi

Itachi (in Tsukiyomi): No...! Itachi was forced to watch Naruto eat Ramen with excruciating detail for five years with the soup splattering in his face

Fire: (whispers to Sand) You ruined my interview, baka!

Sand: shrugs and leaves

Fire: turns back to the audience Uh...well, on with the story. Here's what we thought it might have been like for Itachi to buy his new shoes

Legend:

normal text

"spoken text"

'thoughts'

Itachi's Shoes

A Joint Project

Produced by Sand

Directed by Fire

Uchiha Itachi traveled through every inch of feral land looking for them...the organization formed by a madman with fiery glowing eyes and with a bizarre hair style–neither description really fitting Itachi except for the eyes, but he wouldn't have minded forming something as incredible as Akatsuki. This man who decimated one of the noblest clans of Konohagakure was searching for Akatsuki.

When Itachi finally found them, his shoes were all worn out by his constant traveling, and they practically fell apart as soon as he walked into the cave. The soles of the shoes cracked and the stretchable cloth around them ripped and faded. Down the middle of the sole of the right shoe was a large crack where small pebbles had lodged themselves, making it uncomfortable to walk in.

The first person he met was a man with pale blue skin and pointed teeth. Itachi stared at the strange man with a large jagged sword tied to his back. These people seemed powerful...perhaps he could join up with them...

And then, the strange man with blue skin pointed at his shoes and laughed.

"Haahhahahahahahaha! You expect to join Akatsuki looking like that?" The man continued to laugh, holding his stomach with one hand while pointing grandly with the other, waving the pointing hand so that the other, less interested members in the corners of the caves could see as well. "Look at his shoes!"

Kisame didn't see the fist that knocked him to the ground, or the subsequent kicks and stomps that knocked him unconscious.

'I need new shoes.' Itachi thought grimly of going into a village to buy shoes as he turned out of the cave, swinging the cloak that belonged to the blue man around his shoulders. 'I hope they don't leave.' It had taken him a long time to find these people. It was hard enough finding them all actually here, and all at once!

"Moron," someone in the back with bright white hair grumbled at Kisame as someone else kicked dirt in his face.

It seemed that Itachi had no other choice. He had to go shoe shopping...

Upon entering, every head quickly turned away, avoiding eye contact with this new patron of the shoe store. Whispers and muffled screams can be heard all around the store, some of them good, some of them bad. It was difficult not to notice the tall man with long, flat-black hair tied back into a long pony tail, a black cloak with red clouds hanging from around his shoulders.

The patron sat down then proceeded to order the store clerks to hand him every shoe in the store. They handed the shoes to him with undaunted zeal and he slipped them on, discarding more than half the shoes before finding one that he deemed worthy to walk around in. Some of the shoes were more comfortable and some were more fashionable than the others. The price marked for each pair were reasonable enough, but slowly they climbed to different plateaus in Itachi's mildly calculating mind. He wasn't really consciously keeping track of the price.

A pair of bright purple slippers in a strange style he had never seen before caught the Uchiha's eyes from the pile in front of him. When Itachi slipped his feet into the bright purple slippers, he was pleased by how the soles of the slippers contorted with the shape of his feet. It felt like he was walking bare-foot but his feet were being protected from the cold, hard ground at the same time.

'Hmm...no sides? At least there's...' He walked around some more. 'It's weird though...'

There were no sides although there was a strange protrusion at the heel. There was no troublesome stretchable fabric to fuss over when putting them on and the colour and style of the shoe wasn't flashy or complicated. The slippers were made of light-weight material (durable rubber) and they were water-proof. But...they might slip off his feet when he ran.

The man's heart fell a little at the thought of running around like cinderella. One shoe on his foot and the other somewhere behind him...

But he had to have them!

'I must have these shoes,' Itachi thought energetically although his face was still the impassible monotone face that always looked out at the world.

"How much for these shoes?"

The clerk smiled his big fake smile and held up the price tag for the long-haired man. The price tag that was stuck to the bottom of the left slipper mocked him with its impossible price. His eyes grew wide and his body broke into a profuse cold sweat as his eyes narrowed into slits. His face grew dark at the thought of paying so much for a simple pair of decent shoes.

This shoe store was the only one closest to the Akatsuki base of operations that his aching feet could carry him. He would not go to another shoe store in the next village over just to get himself a cut-rate pair of shoes!

Especially when he really wanted these shoes...

He had to do something.

"How much...?" He asked again slowly, threateningly as he weighed the shoe in one hand. He looked at the clerk, his eyes momentarily glowing a bright red in annoyance.

The smile on the other man's face faltered for a moment at the sight of those red eyes. 'Like a demon...' the clerk thought as he backed away, naming a ridiculously high number.

Itachi's eyes narrowed at the man. "Manager...now!"

The salesperson scurried quickly away, disappearing into the back room. His heart rose in his throat at the order. "The manager...right! I'll...I'll get him right away!"

Itachi waited where he sat, a mountain of discarded shoes to his left, and another mountain of untouched shoes to his right. He kicked at the right mountain, bring it down with a single kick, effectively mixing the two piles of shoes into a single indistinguishable pile.

'What's taking so long?' He thought annoyedly.

A short, bald, fat man finally stumbled into the area around him, a small hand holding a small pallid handkerchief to his sweating head. He was nervous. His subordinate had told him about the trouble with one of the customers, and he had thought to straighten it out...until he saw the broodingly tall man sitting in a pile of shoes.

The man looked up and asked the looming dark figure squeakily, "Is there something I can help you with?"

Itachi looked at the man through intimidatingly red eyes and icily said, "I refuse to pay for these overpriced shoes."

The man took a step back to better see his tall opponent, gave a small yelp and said warily and shakily, "T-t-these are i-i-imported, d-d-designer shoes." The Uchiha's patience shortened at the remark. The short man shook under the demonic eyes of his patron. "I'll g-g-give them to you half-priced!" He stuttered, hoping that the patron will accept the offer and leave happily with the purchase. If he didn't, the man had the feeling that he was going to live to regret it.

'Please,' pleaded the short, bald man's brain as his life flashed before his eyes. His eyes were blurring with irrational thoughts. 'Don't kill me! Just take the shoes!' He had no idea why he thought those thoughts. He just had the unmistakable feeling that he was going to die today. This man with glowing red eyes was going to leave the store with the shoes in his hands whether he paid for it or not.

The sound of unfolding bills pulled the manager forcefully back to reality. "This is as much as I'm going to give you," Itachi said as he snapped his wallet closed.

Itachi's eyes faded back to black as he pressed the small wad of bills onto the glass counter and walked away with his new shoes. Both the store manager and the salesperson let out a long-winded sigh as the dark figure disappeared into the crowded street.

"Oh..." Itachi said as he turned back to them, his eyes flashing a deep red as tiny shuriken spun around within them. "I expect better service next time."

The two men dropped to the ground, foam escaping from their mouths at the thought of this return customer. 'Next time...?' Their brains groaned simultaneously.

Itachi walked away with that simple sentence, a small smile forming on the lips of an inner Itachi. He would never show it though. His face was incapable of changing its expression. But he was still happy with the new shoes that cushioned his feet comfortably.

As soon as Itachi walked into the caves again, he knew that Akatsuki were still there. They hadn't left as he had initially thought.

"Hey, good job beating up Kisame!" Someone said before Itachi glared at him with sharp red eyes. The man pulled his arm back before it could be snapped up by the demon.

'Kisame? Do I know a Kisame?'

"Uh..." the man who had spoken only a moment ago said as he backed up a few steps until he was at a comfortable distance from the newcomer. "...the blue man you knocked unconscious when you were here this morning?" The man had almost read Itachi's thoughts.

'Ah...yes...' Itachi decided to let the man live...even though he had touched him.

Bright red eyes scanned the dark caves until he saw the blue man cowering near the back of the cave, a–woman? man?–companion with incredibly white hair laughing–presumably at the blue man–at his side. Itachi walked to him without hesitation.

"Kisame," he said, an order even though it should have been a meek question for a newcomer.

Kisame's black and gold eyes looked cautiously into the red eyes of the newcomer. "Yes...?" he said slowly, a slow thought of revenge filling his mind. His arm covered the slow smile that spread over his lips. He'll show this green-horn who's boss around here. He can't just come in, steal his cloak and expect him to wait on him hand and foot!

But, he wasn't going to succeed...although he didn't know it at the time.

"Uh...what's wrong with your eyes?" There were...shuriken spinning in his eye...?

Itachi's shoe appeared right in front of Kisame's face and for a moment, the shark man had to back away from the foot. "Well...?"

"Well what?" Kisame snapped, his eyes looking up into the spinning red eyes.

Itachi stomped down on the blue man's shoulder, his mood falling at the rude words that had escaped from the other man's mouth. He didn't notice the shoes!

Kisame screamed as he felt his mind peeling to pieces. His hands flew up to his head as he fell further to the ground. "Waahh! The shoes! The shoes are in my head!"

And the–man? woman?–person at Kisame's side continued to taunt him for his weakness, not realizing for a moment that Kisame couldn't hear him, and wouldn't hear him for quite a long time to come.

OWARI

Fire again...

Fire: If you're bored of my rantings, you don't have to read this, but for those of you who are curious about the terms on top, a project is whatever story we've written. Ajoint project means that both Sand and I worked on it. A producer is someone who oversees a project so since I produced, it meant that I was in charge of the artistic direction. I also came up with the idea for this story and edited it immensely since Sand had about two or three pages of useless repetitions and information that I'm sure fans already knew. If anyone's confused, just give me an email. As for directors, they're in charge of making the actual project. In this case, Sand wrote the first draft and was in charge of making all my ideas work, but since I was the producer, I called all the shots.

Sasuke: Control freak.

Fire: And Sasuke helped with the editing.

Gaara: glares at Fire and Sasuke

Naruto (hiding in a corner): mumbles I didn't get to do anything... Even Gaara got to help with writing... shouts at Fire No one cares about how Itachi got his shoes!

Fire: trying to muffle Naruto's shouts Well...see you in the next story...