For the Hope
Note and Disclaimer: Obviously, nobody here owns M*A*S*H. What more can I say?
Some people don't realize how a small emotion can make a difference. From a child, it can magnify more because of the simple innocence they carry. For Erin Hunnicutt, maybe it was best that she remained a beacon of light.
She was born during the Korean War. BJ had finished his residency and Peg began as a housewife While life was perfect for a few weeks, everything crashed down on them less than two months after Erin was born. BJ was going to be shipped to Korea.
It was a devastating blow. Erin did not understand. All she knew was the small world her mother created. For Peg, she was the one thing she had to live for because she was all alone. For BJ, she represented the best of home and why he had to live through Korea. Her parents invested so much hope in her that Erin knew that it was what she had to live for.
With Korea hardly noticed, people went on with their lives. As a baby, so did Erin. But above her head, there was always the undercurrent. She knew that there was something off in her perfect world. She could not name it. One thing was certain though: she had to keep hoping. With a smile or a giggle, she could change her world and bring it with a sense of joy.
When BJ returned from Korea, unharmed and with open arms, it was Erin who reached up to him. She alone accepted her father the way he was…and all because of the simple embrace called hope. There were so many changes in him and she hardly remembered it. She only knew the pure love that had never been cut.
Even though a brother and sister followed BJ's return home, Erin had to remain a pillar of strength. Her siblings could not understand why there was always tension between their parents and why they fought so deep into the night. They had been born in the passion of homecoming and only understood the smiles of the daytime. Erin had been born of hope – a new beginning that promised so much and brought little more than bitterness – and only understood that they had to remain together as a family. For not all was perfect with the Hunnicutt parents and Erin had to carry that hope of unification with her.
She promised herself that seeing the end of the darkness was the best way to help her parents. With hope, she tried to offer peace and mutual understanding. There was no other way. As a veteran's wife, Peg tried brushing off a stigma that came with the being the bitter wife and the carrier of all burdens. As an Army doctor drafted, BJ alone held the many horrors of war that could not be erased from his mind. With Erin right in the middle, there was no way they could separate. She alone gave them the hope that they will make it and took them back to the best moment of their lives.
The war dragged on for years after BJ came home. There wasn't an end to Korea. But as long as he and Peg remained in that barren countryside, Erin stuck herself in hope. She had to carry the torch alone.
Childhood habits ended. Before she turned eighteen, Erin lost her mother to a tragic accident. Peg had been hit by a drunk driver on her way home from the grocery store.
From that moment on, Erin seemed to have lost that light. For the first time in her life, she was nothing more than an empty vessel. Sure, she had to care for her brother and sister. She had to make sure her father didn't run off into the deep end. But there she was, alone in the circle of grief. They all expected her to be their savior. In that vulnerable moment, she was nothing more than a young woman, hoping that somebody would save her instead.
After her war, Erin took over the household with nothing more than a smile. She had to keep up the pretense that she was as happy as could be. But this was a new war. Her mother was gone and she no longer understood the hole in her soul. She retained the blackness in her soul for quite some time, even as she went to college, started her career and married.
Time passed, as it always did. Once Erin started having her own children, she slowly became to realize what hope truly meant again. It did not mean always getting what you want, even though it is for the best. It also meant that a new day will break and that, no matter what, there had to be a desire to go on with life with a positive attitude.
I am Death though…and there is always a way to me. For as long as she could remember, Erin Hunnicutt had held onto hope as her mantra. It will take years for her to unravel and tie herself back together again. However, in her elderly age, I think that she finally understood why her parents gifted her with such a beautiful emotion. It kept them together, even in the worst of times, and brought a whole new meaning in the face of tragedy.
For Courtney: your life was extinguished too soon. I hope you find the peace you did not have in this life. Love to you, your family and your friends.