Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto in any way. All characters and such belong to Kishimoto. NOT me.
Rating: This chapter is just PG, maybe PG-13, but the series will go as far as NC-17.
Pairing: NarutoGaara with mentions of others such as SasukeSai, NejiTenten, SakuraLee, KibaShino, and so forth. The only pairings that I will really get into will be the Naruto and Gaara one, but I may (MAY) make some side-stories for Sasuke and Sai and Kiba and Shino..
Summary: Life comes with sorrow. Some people manage to move forward. Sometimes they stand still. And some unlucky few move forward while still looking back. NaruGaara, NC-17 later, YAOI, AU
A/N: Well, I've been toying with the idea of entering the world of fanfiction for a while now, and one of the people I role play with found this out so.. Here I am. (By threat of her ending our role play xO) I'm not sure how good this first story will be, but hopefully it's decent enough for a starter. Also, I will try to update once a week at the very least. I work, go to school, and like going out sometimes so don't think I'm dead or something if it takes about ten days for a new chapter to appear. =D
Also, I was looking for a decent beta before posting this, but everyone I know or found either doesn't like Naruto, yaoi, or have the time. If you know someone who has the time and likes both Naruto and yaoi, please let me know. I'd really appreciate it.
Temporary Beta: Toffia (blame HER for errors!! lol) This is the person who read this and told me to post or else she'd stop role playing with me. So, no, she's not actually a beta, and English is her second language. Hopefully, though, between the two of us, we found most of my careless errors.
He used to wonder why the sky never cried on this day. It seemed like the perfect time for the heavens to grow dark and cold before spilling cold tears down onto the earth. It would have been right, appropriate even, but it never seemed to agree. The clouds weren't even blocking the bright glow of the fiery star that illuminated the world. Not a shadow.. Not a drop of moisture.. Happy, bright, and everything that should never describe this day. There wasn't anything good about today, hadn't been for years.
Three years to the day, actually. He didn't need the carved date before him in order to know this. In his mind, he would count away every day, week, and month that passed until it lapsed into a new year. Every time he raised his head and stumbled out of his warm bed, he remembered the day that his life seemed to stretch and fade out from under him. Even after so much time, he still felt weightless, cold, and like something was crushing his ribs and trying to attack his heart.. Or maybe his heart was just trying to escape the pain of remembering. He didn't know, and he no longer wondered. He no longer sat up late at night with tear tracks marring his cheeks while he chanted the same thing over and over.. Why had it had to happen? Why to someone so caring and so loyal and kind and loving and... Well, it didn't matter now. He had his answer.
"That's just how the world is," he spat bitterly, a tone he seldom used. That was his belief now, and he knew it was a resentful notion. And when he'd first gotten that as an answer, he'd scoffed, shouted, and called it worthless nonsense. Of course, as time ticked by, he was forced to believe the words that his best friend had told him three years ago.
"Why, Sasuke?" he barely managed to choke the words out between sobs, burrying his head further into his raised knees, arms wrapped around himself as he rocked helplessly. "Why-Why did he..." He couldn't finish the question. He still hadn't accepted the truth of the past few days, not even after identifying the body and watching them lower him into the ground. It seemed too cruel to him, but that also made it all too real.
Sitting silently beside the hysterical blond, a dark-haired man simply lowered his head, bangs shielding his eyes as he thought back to when he'd also asked that same question. His brother had been the one to answer, and Itachi had only reassured him and tried to comfort him. Sasuke knew that his brother had meant well, but it had all seemed deceiving to him on some level. He wanted to comfort Naruto, make the pain go away. But he also wanted Naruto to finally accept the world for what it was so...
"That's just how the world is, Naruto," he said softly, different from his normally arrogant or bored voice. "People die without any real reason or purpose, and it doesn't really matter. People will forget the people that are dead, move on with their lives without ever wondering why for too long. That's just how the world is. There isn't an answer." It probably didn't make much sense, but it was the best way for him to word his own thoughts without stabbing into the already vulnerable boy beside him.
Naruto's head was pulled from his knees, blinking against the sting of crying for a long time. His look was incredulous as he stared blankly at Sasuke, processing what all he'd said. How could someone have such a bleak outlook on the world? How?
"You're wrong. People don't just die for no reason, Sasuke! And no one is going to forget him or stop wondering! People like him, people who genuinely care, are never forgotten or cast aside!" He knew he was yelling, could feel his throat burning both from the choked sobs from earlier and now the thundering growl that was focused at every one and no one. He didn't even care if the people in the living room, just two doors down, heard his shrieking. Let them listen for all he cared!
Throughout his tantrum, though, Sasuke sat still and passively, taking the denial and exclamations quietly as he waited for Naruto to get too exhausted to even hold his head up, and that didn't take long. He hadn't slept in three days and nights, after all. And as soon as Naruto was too tired to yell, to scream, to cry, or to do much else, he helped the blond to remove his tear-stained jacket and pants, leaving him in a white T-shirt and boxers, and then helped him under the blankets before leaving the room, turning the light off before gently shutting the door.
A happy tune came from his pocket, jarring him from his memories for a second. The sound seemed so out of place, unwelcomed, that he was confused for a long time before realizing that it had to be his cell phone. Part of him said to just ignore it, say that it had never rung or that he'd been too busy, but that was also when he recognized the merry little song that had always reminded him of everything pink and sweet and cute. That was the tone he'd set for Sakura... And he couldn't ignore her. It could be important considering that it was a school day, and she never used her phone at school or skipped any classes.
Drawing in a deep breath as he pulled out a bright, neon orange device, he exhaled as he flipped it open. "Hey, Sakura! What's up?" Anyone who didn't know what day it was would never guess how much his chest ached, and he preferred it that way.
"Happy birthday, Naruto!" echoed into his ear, making him wince and grit his teeth. Of course Sakura would remember. She never forgot anything.
Laughing sheepishly at the well wishes, Naruto closed his eyes and hugged his other arm across his torso. "Thanks, Sakura. It means a lot that you remembered," he said weakly, trying to keep the self-loathing from his voice.
On the other end was only silence. He'd known Sakura since before they'd ever started going to school. She'd lived down the street from him, same as Sasuke, and they'd all become friends before age three.. Well, they sort of played together. Mostly, Sasuke and Naruto would compete relentlessly while Sakura did her best to try and get Sasuke's attention. Of course, Naruto would also try to get Sakura's attention which had (and sometimes still did) end with a strong punch to the gut. He still insisted that she should become a boxer or start the first female football team.
Of course, knowing him that well meant that she knew his past well. She'd even been at his house the day that Sasuke had tried to comfort him, by Sakura's request even. Her pink head had disappeared into the crowded living room after whispering something into Sasuke's ear. That was when he'd been lead into his bedroom before he broke down in front of everyone. They'd always known him better than anyone, and that didn't seem to have changed.
"Naruto..." Her voice was hesitant, probably already knowing the answer to her following question. "You aren't at school. I already checked around." Again, she paused, thinking over her words before continuing. "Where are you?" she asked softly and yet firmly. Only she could be fragile and tough at the same time.
Now it was his turn to go quiet, debating on telling her the truth or not. Of course, in the end, he figured that it didn't really matter. It was the anniversary of his father's death, and it was normal to visit a grave on the day that you were forced to bid farewell. "The grave," was his answer. He didn't need to specify. He only really knew two people that had died, and they lay side by side so... She would know where.
"Naruto..." Her voice sounded strained, like she was speaking to a hurt child that refused to listen. He could hear her sigh after saying his name, pulling in what sounded like a lot of air before exhaling loudly. "Look, I was talking to Sasuke earlier this week, and we've decided to throw you a small party at that new club," she said, skirting around where he presently was. He was thankful for that, but as for the party idea...
"Sakura, that's really nice, and you know that I appreciate it, but I have work this afternoon and--"
"Taken care of. Sasuke got Itachi to call your boss, and you have today and tomorrow off with pay," Sakura said in confidently.
"Wow, that's a great present," he said slowly. "But I'm really tired and just feel like sitting at home tonight. Maybe next year or something."
"The party doesn't start until eight this afternoon so you can get some sleep until then, and you don't even need to stay all that long. Just as long as you want, and then you can stay over at Lee's apartment. It's just a block from the club so it'll all work out if you really are that tired," she said in a voice that begged him to give her another excuse to shred into pieces.
Knowing when Sakura refused to back down, Naruto hung his head in defeat. "Fine, fine. I guess I'll go," he said, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Just make sure to keep fuzzy-brows away from the alcohol, especially if I'm sleeping over at his place," he added, remembering a time in high school when someone had brought some beer to school to try. Lee was the reason they'd gotten caught after he'd attacked a teacher, calling it a friendly sparring match...
"Will do!" She didn't give him time to recant, clicking the line dead before he could even properly process her two words.
Lowering the phone from his ear, he closed it, pocketing it for the moment as he spared another glance to the pair of tombstones that insisted on haunting his dreams every night. "I'll be back next year, Mom...Dad," he whispered, turning his back to the cold sight and walking towards his car. Next year was what he always said, but he knew that he would be back within the week, as always...
Yea, it's a short and off-balance chapter, but it's just the prologue for Naruto in this fic. I'll explain things more for Naruto as the story continues. Next chapter will be Gaara's prologue (entrance) into the fic. After that, the actual story starts. Hope this makes sense. xD
Oh, and review so that I know that my writing isn't a complete and utter failure. Constructive critism, opinions, suggestions, missed errors, or anything that you want to say is fine. Hell, flame my ass if you want! xP
(next update will be in a few days as in 1-3 days max)