Chapter One

The day Magnus Bane met Alec Lightwood was a perfect example of a terrible-awful-no-good-very-bad-day. Magnus was had come into work early that day, only to be yelled at by his boss because he slacked off a bit on his paper work. Magnus scoffed; he was the best damn telephone counselor in the world! So what if he forgot some stupid paper? But apparently it was a big deal because now the irritable green eyed man was stuck training a newbie. He hated any type of newbie training. So there he stood, cigarette dangling between his lips, tapping his foot impatiently, waiting to the new kid to show up. Figures he was twenty minutes late. Magnus sneered and spat out his cigarette, grinding it into the ground; if he was the manager he'd have fired the newbie already. The elevator dinged and a man scrambled out looking like a deer in headlights. His black choppy hair was sticking every which way, his beautiful blue eyes were as round as saucers, and he had a panicked look on his face which made Magnus want to laugh.

The newbie looked around frantically and then spotted Magnus, "Uh, excuse me." He panted, a blush appearing on his high cheekbones, "C-could you direct me to the telephone operator's floor?"

Magnus stared; you've got to be kidding me. This lunatic is the newbie! "Maybe." He responded, his eyes raking over the flustered young man, "I'm Magnus Bane. M'here to show you around basically." He eyed the tie and jacket the man wore, "And you won't need any of that shit; see?" He spread his own arms for confirmation. Magnus was wearing tight fitting black jeans and a purple loose t-shirt made of very thin fabric. His shoes had a faint glimmering sheen to them despite being combat boots, and his hair was streaked with sparkles and rainbow colors.

"Uh…" The man said, his mouth hanging open. He seemed to realize this because he snapped it shut and looked even more embarrassed, "S-sorry I'm late."

"You kept me waiting. I felt rather stood up you know." Magnus teased, unable to help it. He watched the poor man stare at him in shock before snorting, "Calm down kid, don't get your knickers in a twist."

"Knickers?"

"What's your name anyway?"

"What? Oh, Alexander. Alexander Lightwood. But…uh…everybody calls me Alec." He smiled nervously, looking so fricken adorable that Magnus blinked in surprise.

"Well, Alec," Magnus purred, "I'm going to be your mentor. So follow me and I'll lead you to hell." With that he swished away, making sure to add a little swag to his hips as he did so, acutely aware of his new pet scrambling after him. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all…

"No!" Magnus snapped, slapping Alec's hand, "You don't answer a phone like that! You'll scare the clients!"

"I'm sorry! It's not my fault my voice reminded her of her dead husband!" Alec cried, looking slightly crazed.

"Calm down." Magnus sighed, pushing him off the chair. He ignored Alec's stunned look as he tumbled on the floor and Magnus sat his perfect butt in the chair. The phone rang and he picked it up with a flourish, holding it to his ear, "Hello, and what can I do for you?" He purred, his voice smooth and velvety. He listened, putting his feet up and cleaning his nails as he did so, and smiled, "Well darling, you sound absolutely adorable, so here's some advice; don't be afraid to show it. I'm sure you're the type to wear bland clothes," at this Magnus's eyes fixed on Alec's suit and he arched his eyebrows, "wear something a little more revealing, something that fits your figure, and hold your head high sweetheart. You're beautiful." He listened for a bit more and laughed lightly, "Of course. Yes…yes you're very welcome. Good-bye now darling." He hung up and spun around, smirking, "That's how you do it."

Alec stared at him, "You gave her advice…on her clothes?"

"Of course I did." Magnus suddenly was all professional, "Look sweetness, we don't know what's going on these people's lives, so don't act like you do. What they need to hear is how perfect they are inside and out and that they're beautiful in every way, shape, and form. If you get to be as good as I am you can tell certain people apart instantly." Seeing Alec's confused look he elaborated, "Some people you can tell by their tone or the way they speak or even the types of words they use, what kind of people they are. If they're sad, depressed, angry, jealous, or just need a hug." Magnus twirled his finger in the air, "You need to reassure them, even for a little while, that somebody still cares; whether or not they were dumped, divorced, disowned, or all of the above; you got it?"

"Y-yeah I think so." Alec stood from the ground and dusted himself off, "Can I try again?"

"Sure."

As if on cue the phone rang and Alec picked it up, "Hello, how can I help you today?"

Magnus watched Alec's face turned from thoughtful, to concerned, to downright terrified in the matter of seconds. He shot Magnus a desperate look but the green eyed man nodded encouragingly and smiled, "Well, uh, listen, Radnor, your wife probably didn't appreciate everything you've done for her." Alec started out, looking awkward as hell, "I bet she didn't notice all the little things you did for her, did she?" The younger male was starting to look more comfortable as the person on the other line seemed to be agreeing with him, "Yeah….yeah exactly! You're better off…great…yeah have a nice day, Radnor." He hung up and looked at Magnus, "Better?"

"Much. You even used his name; great job newbie." Magnus applaud. He could tell by Alec's look he wasn't sure if he was being serious or not, and frankly Magnus wasn't too sure himself. The rest of the day they took turns answering the phone, Magnus discussing different techniques and all, and then it was lunch break.

Magnus stood and stretched, "Finally! I'm done listen to these baby's whining to me! I'm getting some food!" He didn't bother to even acknowledge Alec as he strutted right out of there, grabbing a rather brightly colored bag as he went.

Before Alec even knew what was happening he was alone. He sat there for a second and suddenly realized he had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do. Alec fidgeted around in his seat, tugging at his shirt cuffs, and then looked up in surprise when someone approached him.

"Hi, I'm Simon." The young man said, smiling at Alec. He was about average height, shaggy brown hair and large glasses, but his smile was warm and friendly and Alec desperately needed a friend.

"Hi, I'm Alec."

Simon smiled again, "Want to go have lunch together?"

"Uh, sure." Alec glanced around, not entirely sure what to do, and then stood and followed Simon out the door. Magnus had left; why couldn't he? They walked out of the building and down the street to a small café on the corner. They ordered coffee and some biscuits before sitting down in a booth and studying each other. Simon, unlike Magnus, dressed in a collared shirt and jeans, with nice looking sneakers. He also seemed to be a lot more open and welcoming than the sneer his mentor had been giving him when he'd first scrambled off the elevator.

Simon must've been thinking the same thing because he grinned and said, "So, you were assigned to Magnus Bane?"

Alec grinned back nervously, "Yeah…he's…something."

Simon laughed, "That's a good way to describe it." He took a sip of his coffee and glanced around the café curiously. It was rather empty. A couple sat staring into each other's eyes in one corner, and behind them sat a person with a newspaper. "So you're in the love department, are you?"

Alec almost spit his coffee, "I—excuse me sorry—what?"

"Love department." Simon said simply, "That's what your section does. Mine's about computers." He rolled his eyes, "I swear to god these people are ridiculous. 'Sir, please help me, I don't know what to do! My computer won't turn on!'" Simon mimicked, and then dropped back into his own voice, "Well, my good friend, have you tried the power button?" Simon's voice now resembled a Neanderthal. "Uh no…oh my lord baby Jesus! It's a miracle! It's turned on! Thank you sir!"

Alec snorted into his coffee and Simon grinned at him, "So, what's Magnus like?"

"Magnus?" Simon shrugged, "Jeez…well he's never taken on an apprentice; that's for sure. He hates newbies." Seeing Alec's look Simon quickly back peddled, "I mean he seems to like you but…I dunno Magnus kinda keeps to himself."

"What? Really?" Alec swished his coffee around, "He didn't seem like that type of person to me."

Simon smiled, "He can be a bit of a jerk sometimes, but Magnus is the best. Everyone knows it. Magnus can and will give you the best damn relationship advice on this plant, and nine times out of ten it always works."

"That good, huh?" Alec took a drink of his coffee for something to do, looking around nervously, and then smiled at Simon, "Can you tell me anything else?"

The brown haired man frowned, biting on his lower lip, "Well…" his voice grew hushed and he looked a little worried, "Look, don't tell him I said any of this ok? I don't want him coming after me. He's damn good at revenge."

"I won't say anything." Alec quickly swore.

"Well he's…alone." Simon said, looking like he was searching for a better word.

"Alone?"

Simon nodded, "No family, no friends, he's just…alone." He pushed his glasses up his nose and sighed, "I tried to talk to him a few times, but he's almost never interested, just brushes me off or says he busy."

Alec sat there, trying to imagine a life with no family or friends. It left him feeling horrible, "But…why?"

"No idea." Simon responded simply, "Magnus is a free spirit; the guy just does whatever he wants whenever he wants." Simon snorted, all seriousness gone, "Lucky bastard too. He never does any of his paper work and the boss never fires his ass because he's so damn good! By the way," Simon dropped a wink as the stood to go back to work, "that's the reason he got stuck with you in the first place." And then they were gone, leaving the couple and the person with the newspaper alone.

The person with the newspaper shifted around and then folded the flimsy material up, revealing the one and only Magnus Bane. "Well, that was quite interesting." He stood, paid for the paper, and left.