A/N: Just a quick little note before I let you read. I must have been watching too much LOST lately, because the format of this story is much like that of the show lol. Basically I'll be telling it partially in present time and partially in flashbacks, but the flashbacks may not be in exact chronological order. Don't worry, it will make sense as it goes. To help you out, each chapter will either say 'Now' or 'Then' which will let you know if it's a flashback or not.

I hope you enjoy :]

There's no explanation, only what we cannot change

Now

Maura's heels clicked against the pavement as she strolled down the park pathway, lingering in the patches of shade as she felt the busy world swirl around her. It was late March, and it was the first warm day of the year, which had sent the entire city of Boston into a frenzy. Flocks of antsy children filled the playground, frisbees whizzed by, and college students lay scattered across the grass, soaking up the beams sun.

Maura donned a skirt that she knew was considered much too short for her age level, but she reveled in the gazes she turned, their eyes falling on her long, bare legs, as if a magnet had drawn them there. It made her feel less alone, to know that she was still desirable. However, it made her fear for the future when she knew she would no longer be an object of lust, wishing that she had the security of having someone she loved to tell her she was beautiful no matter how withered and faded she would become.

Maura sighed, taking a seat on a nearby park bench. He feet had long ago learned to withstand the pain of walking a considerable distance in heels, but her legs were still tired. She took a moment to try to separate herself from the crowded park, but she knew her efforts were in vain. There was never a peaceful moment in the city, and for as lonely as she felt, there was never a true moment of solitude.

Across the path from the bench she had settled on, a small boy, about four years old, distracted her from her musings. His blonde hair was a little sweaty from his playing, and his knees were covered a dusting of sand from the jungle gym floor. He looked confused and slightly uncomfortable as his eyes wildly scanned the perimeter of the park.

Maura shifted to move from the bench, but hesitated for a moment. Perhaps she should wait a moment to see if the boy's mother appeared. A stranger helping a child in need was always a risky endeavor, despite how innocent the intentions might be. The boy whimpered slightly, and Maura rose, only hesitating once again as she had to readjust her skirt. She certainly wasn't the motherly type, and it made her even more wary as she began to approach the boy, whose mother showed no sign of coming to his aid. The risks outweighed the idea of leaving the child to fend for himself, and she walked a bit more determinedly toward him, crouching down as best she could in her skirt and smiling at him softly.

"Is everything okay, sweetie?" she crooned, her voice sounding unnatural as she spoke to the child.

He stiffened visibly, and so did Maura, wondering if her good deed would be one she would regret. She offered him another comforting smile. He relaxed slightly, chewing on his dirty finger as he let out a small sniffle. "I gotta go potty, but I can't find my mommy." As if to prove his point, he clenched his legs together in discomfort, and Maura could practically feel the pain from his bulging bladder just by looking at him.

"Well, um," stuttered Maura, who never fumbled for words. "Let's see if we can find your mother then."

He nodded as she rose, taking a halting step as his eyes glanced around the playground, only to land on Maura once again. "I'm gonna pee pee in my pants," he whispered, looking desperate and fearful.

"No!" Maura exclaimed instinctively, and the boy jerked his head in surprise. "Sorry," she muttered, looking frantically around the park before spotting a bathroom a small distance away. "How about we take you to the restroom, and then we'll try to find your mother?" she suggested, knowing that the child wetting his pants was preventable on her part.

He nodded vigorously, following Maura to the grungy park restroom without a thought. She pointed him in the direction of the men's room, ready to wait for him outside, but he looked up at her with a pleading glance. "Mommy comes in with me."

Maura nodded, sighed, and then led him into the women's room, feeling a little relieved to see a mother in there with two little boys of her own. Trying to appear as natural as possible, hoping that the woman would not suspect that the little boy was not hers, she opened up the stall, nodding him in.
"I need help gettin' up," he informed her, glancing at the toilet that was almost as tall as he was. Maura had to wonder what she had gotten herself into. She felt as though she had practically kidnapped the child as she helped to lift him onto the toilet, cringing a little as he planted his hands on the filthy seat as he finally emptied his bladder.

"All done!" he announced, smiling for the first time since she had come to his aid. She helped him down, made sure he buttoned his shorts and slathered a fair amount of hand sanitizer over his hands, feeling increasingly nervous as she braced herself to face the wrath of a furious mother once they emerged from the restroom. As they stepped back out into the fresh air, the boy reached to grab her hand. She startled slightly, but let his hand settle deeper into hers. He smiled up at her.

"What's your name?" she asked against her better judgement.

"Mason," he answered immediately, seeming completely at ease despite the fact they had come no closer to finding his mother.

"I'm Maura," she told him, glancing around the park for a frantic woman or some other hint of who this child belonged to. "Can you tell me what your mother looks like?"

"She's tall," he began, which didn't give Maura much to go off of. An eight-year-old would be tall to him. "And she has long black hair that is curly."

"She sounds very pretty," Maura smiled down at him.

"Yep, mommy is the prettiest lady ever," he said proudly, though his face fell a little as he looked around the park. "What if we never find her?"

"Oh, we will," Maura promised quickly, and as if on cue, she heard a woman's voice call his name, almost indistinct amongst the clamor the crowded park. Mason's ears perked up too, and they followed the frantic calls over the edge of the playground.

"There she is!" Mason exclaimed excitedly, pointing to a tall woman with dark hair pulled back into a messy ponytail from behind. She turned, and Maura did a double-take, her heart skipping an entire beat.

She meant to release Mason's hand, but she only clung to it tighter as the woman caught her gaze.

"Mommy!" Mason exclaimed, finally wriggling free from Maura's grasp and running toward his mother. She picked him up absentmindedly, hardly acknowledging her child's presence.

Maura tried to assess the situation as she stepped toward the woman, her mind in overdrive as she glanced from the toddler to the mother. Her voice got tangled in her throat as she uttered just one word.

"Jane."