Karkat Vantas just stubbed his fucking toe on a coffee table. How motherfucking awesome. He groans and puts on a pair of pants and an unwrinkled black shirt and prepares himself for the day. He checks his shitty flip-phone, and, of fucking course. His shit-head of a best friend has texted him in his retarded way of text.
"HeY fUcKeR. wHaT tHe FuCk ArE yOu DoInG tOdAy?"
Karkat rolls his eyes. What a fucking cock. He bashes his too-big fingers against the shitty little number pad of his cellular device.
"NOT A FUCKING THING, YOU STUPID ASSHAT. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?"
It takes a minute, but soon enough he hears the little bleep of his phone, and it buzzes in his lap.
"I wAs JuSt WoNdErInG iF yOu WaNtEd To Go FoR mOtHeRfUcKiNg CoFfEe? No HoMo." Karkat grunts and nearly throws his phone at the wall, but he'd rather not have to clean up a mess of little plastic hunks.
"YEAH. WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER. LET'S GO." So, being the boring fucker he is, he drives to the little coffee shop a few blocks away, "Just Bean Brewed" to meet up with motherfucking Gamzee. While Karkat waits for his fucking name to be called, his gaze falls upon a girl with dark, unruly shoulder length hair. On her head, she wears a blue, cat eared beanie, and she's reading a novel. She's totally fucking into the book, so it must be good, he thinks. So, he squints, and is able to read the author of the somewhat thin novel, H.P. Lovecraft, huh, she's into the good stuff. Sure, he sort of likes romance, but he'd always had a soft spot for Sir Lovecraft; he's a genius.
She sets her book down to take a sip of her beverage and catches his gaze, her gorgeous green eyes widen and she quickly picks up and redirects her attention to the book, her cheeks reddening. Karkat allows the corners of his mouth to tweak slightly, making his expression a mix between a small smile and a smirk. The guy at the til, wearing the retarded glasses with two different lenses, red and blue, calls Karkat's name, snapping him out of the daydream about the cat girl.
"Karkat Vantas?" The dude repeats. Fuck, I'm coming, gimme a second to get there, you stupid fucker, he thinks. He tears his gaze from the adorable little kitten across the little shop from him and take the cup of coffee, groaning as some of the hot black liquid splashes out onto his hand. That fucking hurt. He pulls out his phone and decides to call motherfucking Gamzee.
"Dude," Karkat says, his voice hushed, gaze still focused on the beautiful girl before him, "Where the hell are you?"
"Calm the fuck down, shit-for-brains. I'm on my fucking way, in fact, I just motherfucking pulled into the parking lot. Are you motherfucking happy?"
A ripped dude, who would likely tower the fuck over Karkat if the two of them stood back to back, walks up to Karkat's, erm, the girl. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? The cat girl folds the top corner of the page she's on, and sets the book aside. Biting her lip, her cute, pointed, little fangs become visible. So cute, Karkat thinks. She reaches a fingerless glove-clad hand over the table and rests it on the fucker's. Oh. My. Fuck. You little shit, Karkat. Fuck you. Fuck you so hard. You're into a fucking taken woman. Fuck you. He argues with himself for a few moments before the obnoxious voice of one Gamzee Makara snaps him out of it.
"You stupid fucker, I fucking said, where the fuck are you sitting?" Karkat rolls his eyes away from the couple and mentally counts to ten. Deep breaths, Karkat.
"I'm by the washrooms, sitting at a two seated table. Facing the big fucking panoramic window."
"A shitty fucking spot for a fucking piece of shit. Great. I'll see you in five." There's a click and Karkat lets the dead-end beeping lull him into a deep thought about how he'd go about killing the testosterone over-dosed fuckwad that's sitting across from his, shit, the girl. He decides on Scaphism, a long and painful method. He daydreams the whole execution. First, he'd strip him naked, and then he'd drag him to somewhere remote and outdoors. Kartkat'd tie the stupid fucker down in a way that made it impossible to escape, perhaps with a strong steel chain, but he'd think about that later. He would force feed him milk and honey until he developed extreme and very painful diarrhoea, swamping him in his own feces.
Once the diarrhoea calmed a bit, he'd rub honey all over his naked body, to attract even more insects, such as bees and wasps. The pain would be unimaginable, especially due to insects breeding within his gangrenous flesh, he'd eventually succumb to physical and psychological pain, diarrhoea, nausea, dehydration, starvation, and so on. He'd hope that asphyxia would occur, once the ants swarmed into his body through his ears, mouth and nose, eventually entering the lungs. Karkat couldn't even think about how it would feel, but he loved the thought of him suffering completely. That'd teach that stupid fucker. He smirks and laughs, just as fuckface, or Gamzee walked to the table, slamming down a mug of something that could only be expresso, that way the people would be able to draw a little clown face with the foam. Karkat glances into the cup and sure enough, there's a little face that resembles his signature emote, ":o)" like there was any question.
Karkat looks back at the girl, who is focused on stirring the liquid in her cup with a little brown stir stick. Mr Testosterone is checking out the ass of a blond girl wearing tight pink shorts. What a piece of fucking work, he thinks. That's who his girl is with? Pathetic.
"Yo, what the fuck, Karkat. What the fucking hell are you looking at?" Karkat looks at his friend and he's frantically looking around for the object of his affection. "Is it that babe in the cat hat?" He hopes that the warmth in his cheeks is just from the steam rising from his coffee and shakes his head.
"See the bitch in the pink shorts? She's a fucking babe. S'got a great ass." Karkat says, nodding his head as if the bimbo even remotely interests him.
"Oh fuck, you're fucking right. I'd tap that hard. The first fucker to put me out of her would be crowned the King of England, ya dig?" Karkat rolls his eyes at his friend's stupidity. What a fucking cock.
Nepeta Leijon sits alone at a little table right in front of the big panoramic window in her favourite coffee shop, "Just Bean Brewed", she loved the name, it was so cheesy, but it fit. Resting before her is a Lovecraft novel, one of her absolute favourites, "The Rats in the Walls." Also in front of her is a steaming hot cup of tea, with three cubes of sugar, and two teaspoons of milk, just the way she liked it. She sets her book aside so that she can take a sip of her tea, and happen to meet the gaze of a boy with dark and alluring eyes, messy black hair, and a somewhat pale complexion. He's staring either right at her, or at something on her face. She allows herself to think that it's just something on her face, and quickly retrieves her book, submerging herself in the text until she hears the familiar scuffing of boots and her best friend Equius sits down across from her. She dog-ears her current page and sets the book down, she risks glancing in the direction of the boy and bites her lip to hide a smile. Nepeta turns her face to meet Equius' gaze, reaching across the table to put a hand over his much larger one. This was a friendly gesture, something she'd done for years. If she was standing, she'd likely have hugged him or at least taken his hand and squeezed it gently. He was like her brother, some would even say they looked alike.
"Hey." She says, straining to look past the dark lenses of his glasses, but failing. She hardly ever sees his eyes. This thought makes her frown slightly.
"Hey there, Nep." He says and she smiles at him, "How's it going?" She shrugs a little and removes her cap, setting it down on the table neatly, so that she can run her hand through her messy locks.
"I'm okay, but school sucks, you're lucky you didn't catch me when I was studying!" She says, now that she started college, she barely had any time to herself, so she barely saw Equius, or anybody, for that matter. She felt like she was a prisoner in her own home; like she was a cat locked in an uncomfortable kennel. She sighs in defeat and cocks her head to the side, allowing herself to peek at the boy, who was having an intense looking conversation with the strange looking man before him.
"I see, and that's totally understandable, dearest." He said, and she giggles at him, her gaze still falling upon the boy. How handsome he was. How hauntingly beautiful his features were. He looked away from his friend, and to Nepeta, catching her gaze. The corners of his lips perked slightly, and he nodded, at his friend, but also to her. This small gesture released a cage of butterflies in her stomach and set her cheeks aflame. She feels Equius' eyes on her and turn away from the boy, letting her eyes linger on him for a few more moments before looking into the lenses of Equius' sunglasses.
"Who ya looking at?" Her face flushes, She's sure of it.
"Well... Umm..."
Changed from second person to third.
God. Some people suck.
Anyway, hope you enjoy!