A/N: I've been wanting to write an Annick oneshot for quite a while and finally came up with this. I'm thinking of doing a prequel to this.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games
I sit on the beach and watch my son build a small sandcastle. His sandcastle has already been completed and even though it's tilting a little to the right, I can see his effort put into shaping it. He is starting to build figurines now and I can see how his sea-green eyes light up when he catches sight of me.
I open my arms and he runs into them. His small, compact body hits mine and he lets out a small 'oof' at the impact. I chuckle and smooth down his messy bronze-coloured hair. He is the spitting image of Finnick.
"Mummy! Was daddy taller than you?" he asks me, his eyes wide and full of innocence.
I nod and smile. "Yes he was."
He gives me a big grin and runs back to his sandcastle, tripping on his way. I start to get up to check on him but he scrambles to his feet and gives me a thumbs-up. I sigh in relief and sit back down. I gaze at the setting sun and the orange reflection it casts on the sea. As always, it looks beautiful.
Five years have passed since Finnick's death. It still hurts to think about it even now. Some nights when I'm sleeping alone (for our son likes to sleep with me sometimes), I still get nightmares. It's not a nice feeling, having a nightmare and then waking up hoping to find Finnick only to remember he's gone.
Our son is a young Finnick. He radiates life and he interacts well with the other children from the district. If it wasn't for our son, I think I would have really gone mad. Nicholas is my anchor.
"Mummy, why are you crying?" I open my eyes to find Nicholas crying as well. His brows are furrowed and he is repeatedly wiping his tears away. "Were you thinking about daddy?"
"I was," I answer gently, helping him wipe away his tears.
Nicholas cries even more. I start to worry.
"Nicholas, is something the matter? Why do you keep crying?" I ask, frustration seeping into my tone. I hate it when he cries and I don't know the reason.
"T-that's because I don't like it when mummy cries! Don't be sad because daddy is not here! I'm sure daddy is watching over us and look," Nicholas points to his sandcastle and the three figurines beside it. "We are living in that castle as one big family and daddy is there with us! See, daddy isn't gone! He's still here with us."
Nicholas looks at me earnestly. His small hands wipe away my own tears and I nod and smile in an effort to calm him. He scowls and stamps his feet.
"Daddy is here so don't be sad! Daddy is fish in the sea!" the last sentence catches me off-guard.
I laugh, amused. "Daddy is fish in the sea?"
Nicholas blushes slightly and twiddles his thumbs. "Uncle Peeta told me when people from our district pass away, they become fish!"
"Then we should catch the fish that is daddy and keep it," I reply and chuckle. Only Peeta can come up with things like that.
"We can?" Nicholas brightens immediately then deflates in the next moment. "But how can we tell which fish is daddy?"
"We'll come here every day and talk to the fish. If one of them responds then we'll know it's daddy," I pat my son's head and he beams at me.
"All right," his stomach growls then and he blushes again.
I laugh and stand up. I carry him and he buries his face in the crook of my neck.
"Let's go and have dinner now. We can come back later if you want to."
"Yay!" he cheers. He yawns and wraps his arms around my neck. His breathing slows almost immediately but it is steady; he has fallen asleep.
I smile and start to take a slow walk back to our home. Nicholas mumbles something in his sleep and the only word I catch is daddy. I stop smiling. I stop walking and look at the beach. I watch the large waves crash onto shore before receding. I feel my lower lip tremble and then I cry.
I try to keep my crying soft so I don't wake up Nicholas. Finnick...I really miss you. Just... I couldn't organize my thoughts properly. I bend down and tighten my grip on Nicholas. I bawl rather loudly and try to gain back my composure. I tell myself to keep myself together and to go back home and cry but it's useless.
"Finnick, Finnick, Finnick," I murmur his name like it's the only thing keeping me sane right now.
...sane... What would happen if I lost Nicholas? I stand up again and wobble slightly. I shake my head. I didn't want to experience that much less think of it.
"Mummy?" Nicholas's sweet voice asks. It is filled with concern and I realized I woke up him up.
"I'm all right. Go back to sleep, Nicholas. I'll wake you up when we reach home," I say gently and pat his back.
He nods and closes his eyes again. I continue patting his back and continue the stroll. I keep to the side and nod my head in acknowledgment to the people who walk by. If any of them notice my puffy eyes, they don't say anything and for that I'm thankful. I'm so afraid I'll break down if anyone asks me if I'm all right.
We finally reach the house and I shift Nicholas in such a way so that I can hold him with one hand. I unlock the house and enter. I catch the door before it slams shut and wakes my sleeping son up. I close it softly and then turn around. My eyes look around the empty and cold house.
"We're home," I whisper.
Welcome back, Finnick's voice whispers in my mind.