Author's Note: New one-shot, a bit short. Just a reminder to my readers, that ya, I'm still writing. :)
Italic's are flashbacks from Gwen's POV, such as text messages sent to her. Oh, and I wrote most of the text messages in chatspeak, hope you don't mind; there's only a few of them. I made Gwen's last name McCork, by the way.
Thanks for looking :)
At two o'clock AM on a Friday night, Gwen McCork decided to end her life.
She lined up the pills, one by one, on her desk. The 30 tiny, brown pills were arranged carefully in a line on the dark chestnut wood. Her phone rang, showing she had a text message (or two.) but she didn't care. She already knew what it would whore
woww idk why trent dated u
whhhooree. duncan told every1 bout u
cant believe u sent that pix
Yes, she had heard-and read-their words already. They were just echoes, now. Painful reminders of a life she once lived. The words were burned into her mind, often haunting her as she tried to sleep. Did they sting? Yes, but she was numb now. Nothing could hurt her.
Or so she said.
Around two AM, Gwen McCork opened her laptop, and clicked it on. As the screen lit up, she couldn't help but smile bitterly at the background of her and Trent. She'd never remembered to change it, but even if she had-she wouldn't have changed it anyway. It was her favorite picture. Taken back before everything. Her hand went to the touchpad, moving the cursor toward a folder. Before she could click on it, several messages from MSN Messenger popped up. She could not read them all, but her eyes scanned some of the messages popping up.
SK8terGurl19 (2:25 AM) : ugly sluts lik mistake go kill urself (:
CallMeBb (2:25 AM): WOW MCCOCK go die. no1 would miss u
She shut her eyes and rested her head against the desk. Her heart prickled, a hollow feeling inside. Leaning forward, she quickly logged off of messenger and clicked on a document entitled "to the ones I loved"
She grabbed her phone and sent a text message to her mother. She apologized for everything, for all the trouble she had caused her recently. Then, Gwen wrote one final "I love you." to her mother.
Then, Gwen stood up and walked over to her mirror. Pictures of her and her friends lined the walls near it. She stood in front of the glass, examining herself.
She never thought she was ugly. Trent told her how pretty she was. Duncan told her how sexy she was. Even that annoying kid-what was his name? Cory? ...Cody-told her how cute and beautiful she was. So she believed it. She looked good, she had thought before. Apparently not. Before, she dressed her body to accentuate her body. Corsets and cleavage. Skirts and heeled boots. But always, tasteful, right? Right? Now, as she stared into the mirror, she was dressed in a baggy state-university hoodie. Her eyes looked sunken in. Bones jutted out. Her pale skin seemed sickly.
Gwen McCork felt no connection to the girl in the mirror. She was a stranger. An ugly, hideous creature who always made mistakes. A mistake. A slut. Whore. Easy.
The thought angered Gwen. She ripped off her hoodie, throwing the baggy fabric onto the ground. As she stood clad in her undergarments, she stared at her body. She ran her sharp nails against the skin, pressing and digging in. She gasped at the pain, but kept on pressing in until she drew blood. She looked at her body.
FLASH send picture message? yes/no? sent picture.
Slut. Slut. Slut. She was wrong to be proud of her body, she thought. The sweet words from Duncan crawled upon her bare skin, sickening her. As she stared at her body, she thought of how everyone in the school had seen it. How they probably had the pictures saved onto their phones. She wanted to throw up.
With one last glance at the mirror, she noted how dead her gray eyes looked.
Dead.
At 2:45 AM, on a warm Friday night, Gwen McCork took her own life. Overwrought with emotion-guilt and shame-and the backlash from a sext she had sent a boy named Duncan, she overdosed on a bottle of prescription pills. As she faded out of the world, as her eyes grew heavy, she heard her phone go off. She ignored it, drifting away. Before it turned black, she remembered that Cody kid and how he stuck up for her in front of his friends. She thought of how he was doing. Then she closed her eyes and let the darkness engulf her.
In the end, Gwen McCork felt so alone, and so unloved.
Meanwhile, around the same time across town, Cody Emmett Jameson Anderson killed himself after two failed suicide attempts. After being mocked by his whole school, he had decided enough was enough.
At 3 o'clock AM, before he wrapped the noose around his neck and jumped, he decided to say his goodbyes. He sent Gwen McCork, life-long crush and childhood friend, a hopeful text message that confessed his feelings. He knew she wouldn't reply, but he clicked send anyway because he felt like she needed it. Then he turned off his phone and climbed on a chair.
In the end, Cody Anderson felt so alone, and so unloved.