A/N: *cringe* First Primeval fiction, obviously - still working on the voices. Tied up in knots over posting this, but in the end, it's not doing me any good sitting on my hard drive. Tell me what you think, please, because otherwise I'll never know, yeah?
Spoilers: 4x06 only - not the actual plot of the episode, just that wonderful little moment that's hit my top 5 Connor/Abby favourite scenes.
Summary: Deviation from the actual events of 4x06 - a Connor/Abby conversation that I would've liked to have taken place had the dogs not chosen *that* moment to whine and distract him. Pure, happy fluff. One-shot.
Disclaimer: I so obviously don't own Primeval; I just like to borrow the characters and mutate their inner voices. Please don't sue, my house is small, my car is useless and my dogs are pains in the arse, but they're all I have.
Only the Meaning Matters
By: Danae Bowen
Even alone he still cringed. Thankfully only Jenny'd been there to hear his foul up, but holy wow had he stepped in it this time. He'd really not thought much of it, he had Abby, they were together, he wasn't giving her up for anything, so why not think about a wedding?
He cocked his head to the side as he slipped quietly up the old castle hallways. She'd taken it really well, all things considered... really well.
"We should get married here," he'd said, like a buffoon, watching as her crystal blue eyes widened in shock.
"Should we?"
She hadn't laughed at him and hadn't immediately spit out absolutely not, no, what're you thinking? She'd tilted her head, her eyes holding his solidly. It was under Jenny's frantic shaking of her head and Abby's firm gaze that he'd gone and ballsed it up entirely, stumbling and mumbling, backing up and taking it all back. The more flustered he became, the more flustered Abby became until she was gone to get champagne and Jenny'd taken her place.
Propose first, discuss wedding later, propose first, discuss wedding later. He hung his head and wondered for the umpteenth time how Abby'd managed to fall in love with him after all?
He crept down the hallway and knocked lightly on her door, careful not to wake the rest of the castle.
"Abby?"
Even after their weeks back in society, it was hard to sleep alone. He needed to hear her heartbeat matching time with his own and the warmth of her body curled against him to be comforted, because everything that mattered to him in life was tied up in that tiny little blonde - which made everything else so much less complicated.
"Abby? Can I come in, please?"
Without waiting for an answer, he opened the door and slipped into the dark bedroom; he'd half expected the girls only evening nightcap to last longer than the hour or so that it had, but he heard everyone breaking off to their own areas of the castle, and he really, really just wanted to be with Abby. He was at the bottom of the bed, his knee against the foot of the mattress, when a gentle hiss at the doorway stopped him in his tracks.
"Connor, what're you doing?"
He swallowed heavily, looking behind himself in confusion. "Abby?"
She rolled her eyes in the darkness, swallowing the laughter that threatened to bubble past her lips. "Get out of there, idiot. As if Jenny's fiancé doesn't have enough reason to be suspicious of us, you don't need to be found in her bedroom, too."
He turned in the darkness and made his way back to the door, being overly careful not to bump into anything that might wake the sleeping bride. He hoped desperately that the darkness of the castle halls would be enough to hide the flush of embarrassment that turned his ears red. "How was I to know, yeah? Matt found Emily here, so I thought..."
She grabbed his arm and hauled him through the doorway before he had a chance to finish the sentence, closing the door quietly behind him. "Next room, Connor." She shook her head, moving down the hallway and into the next bedroom, not waiting for him to follow.
"Um, Abby?"
She stuck her head back out the door, "What?"
"I can come with you, right?"
He looked so pathetic, standing in the doorway, his dark eyes swimming with concern. He shifted from foot to foot, his eyes lifting off the floor only to meet hers briefly before dancing away again. She frowned, her blue eyes confused as she stepped back out into the hallway.
"Well, come on if you're coming." She held the door open as he slipped past her and into the huge stateroom assigned to her for the night.
He glanced around the room with wide eyes, running a hand through his hair nervously. "Wow, you lot got on better than the guys did. Y'know, Matt and me are sharing? Least we would do if he'd come back. Think he's got it on for Emily, then?"
She rolled her eyes and curled back up on her bed, her small body lost in the large pillows and comforters covering the mattress. She watched as Connor paced the room quietly, circling the perimeter by force of habit as he tried to relax.
"All right," she said quietly, leaning back, "What is it?"
He ran his hand through his hair again, offering her a grin and a shrug of his shoulders. "Um, right, so, we should talk."
"Should we?"
"Well, yeah, don't you think?"
She lifted her eyebrow and tried not to let the corners of her lips turn up in to a grin. "I guess we should."
He waited a moment, lost in her silence before frowning. "So, what're you thinking, then?"
She couldn't help herself and chuckled. "That you're too far away, and I think this conversation would go better if you were in bed with me."
His entire body visibly relaxed, a grin taking over the tension on his face and he moved to sit beside her. He slipped off his shirt and settled back against the pillows, pulling Abby to him and bringing her to rest against his chest. When she curled into him, her head resting below his chin, he sighed happily and with great relief.
She closed her eyes and steadied her breathing as she willed herself not to say the wrong thing. Her heart began beating erratically as she carefully chose her words, and she felt Connor's body tense again in reaction. "You didn't, y'know?" She half whispered, "Say something bad, that is."
He shrugged, staring up at the ceiling in the darkness. "Would do, given the chance."
"You... confuse me, Connor."
He frowned, "How do you mean?"
"When we're in it and done for, you're never afraid, you make mistakes, sure, but you're always first to jump in and just get it done. I'd be dead a dozen times but for you." She smiled as his arms tightened around her, moulding her to his body. "Just that, see? You don't question if I want or need your protection, you're just there, doing it. So why, after all we've been through, do you still have to question everything?"
"Um... well," He shrugged. "Sorry, Abs, but you kind of didn't really look too thrilled at the prospect." He cleared his throat and words just began tumbling out. "Can't blame you, really, I mean, just kinda flung it at you out of nowhere, I did. Don't know what I was even thinking, really."
She chuckled, wrapping an arm across his chest. "Couldn't know what I was thinking, either, Conn."
"Be fair, Abby, your eyes did that whole, what did he just say shock thing, and then you were off to get another drink before I could finish. Figured you had to be drunk maybe to say what you wanted to say."
"Yeah, well, what were you going to say, then? "Theoretically, if we ever decide to go down that path.. that path of complete, y'know...?" Connor, if you pedalled back any harder you'd have fallen off the sofa."
"Yeah, but Jenny... she was doing the whole cut it out thing, and shaking her head at me... I figured I was in real bad, y'know?"
She shook her head, "I was startled, Conn, and okay, maybe a bit freaked out, but like you said, you did kinda fling it out of nowhere."
He began to relax again under her, running his hand over her back and arm, sending smalls shivers skittering down her spine. "So, you're not gonna feed me to the next raptor we come across?"
She laughed. "Saved you from too many to make dino-chow out of you now."
"And you're not gonna kick me out of the flat, again?"
She laughed harder. "Would do, but I'd have to get you by Jess first. Since she sees you as a line in with Becker, that'll never happen."
"Not angry? Upset? Falling down terrified?"
The laughter was shaking her body now and she raised a hand to wipe her eyes. She shifted to her elbows, propping herself up on his chest, looking into his eyes as she offered him a small, warm kiss. "No Conn, not angry, upset, or falling down terrified."
He lifted an eyebrow and brushed away a stray lock of her lengthening hair. "So you'll say yes if I really asked you to marry me, Abs?"
She blinked, cocking her head to the side, meeting his gaze warily. "Um, when exactly are you planning on asking?"
He grinned and shrugged easily, finding a quiet confidence that surprised even himself, "Oh, in my own time, I suppose."
She sighed, sensing the losing battle at her fingertips as she laid her head back down on his chest. "In your own time, then."
The conversation faded and they lay stretched out in silence for long minutes. She'd almost drifted off to sleep, the strong steady beat of his heart lulling her into warmth and comfort, when he shifted under her and startled her awake once more.
"Abby?"
She opened her eyes to the darkness, a sigh on her lips even as her heart inexplicably missed a beat. "Yeah, Connor?"
"Marry me, please?"
She laughed softly and realized that for once she owed him an honest answer, without stumbling and hesitation. She thought her words over carefully, wishing she knew the perfect ones to set his heart to rest. When she decided that she'd taken too long, she said the first thing to come to mind, finally understanding that in the end only the meaning would matter.
"Yeah, Conn."
~~~Fin