If you have a problem with sex, this is not the fic for you. You should probably leave now. I don't think I made it terribly graphic. But I'm sorry if anyone is offended.
Yes this has been uploaded previously and there are no changes to chapter 1 although there may well should be. Its simply up again because I wanted to change my pen name. Sorry for the inconvenience.
I own nothing all characters are property of Bioware and EA.
Role Models
This hadn't been her intention. She had never done this to someone before, but when the opportunity presented itself, she found herself unable to fight it. Commander Shepard walked past his station, eyeing up her lieutenant. He was always there. Waiting it seemed, waiting just for her to pass him, signalling him with nothing more than a prolonged eye contact, as she made her way to her private cabin.
He followed, he always did. Behind her as she began to disrobe pulling away at the shirt of her fatigues while his hands began to explore her body silently. Shepard concentrated on his touch and only that. She needed this she needed the release, the activity, to quiet her mind to stop her thinking about every trouble in the galaxy which now seemed to fall onto her shoulders, to stop the constant thoughts, the plans the strategies.
He was still behind her his shirt now off as he kissed the nape of her neck, rough hands cautiously winding their way around her body as she moved against him. She never wanted this. She never intended to use another person in this way. Reaching up to his face as she turned bringing his lips to hers before wrapping her arms around his neck holding him in place, eyes always shut. His eyes would be open, they always were. As the kiss continued she ran her hands down his body until they reached the buckle of his pants they both had undressing the other down to an art. No article of clothing was any longer an obstacle, pulling down his pants, he gradually backed her into the bunk, Kaidan moving over her laying more kisses down her form, from her mouth to her stomach , always so gentle. Always there. Always the good soldier.
Shepard had met many like him before, good soldiers, career men, soldiers who knew the way the military worked and reacted accordingly. In this aspect the lieutenant was nothing special, what he had that she recognised as useful was his ability to control his emotions. The bioticsand the continued public suspicion because of them coupled with his loss of control in the past, all had served to create a man who knew how to detach what was a biological imperative, and what was a rational response. Alenko was also a man that despite all rationality against it was in love with his commanding officer. A man that was currently making her writhe with pleasure as she ran her hands through his jet black hair. He was perfect for her needs; quiet, skilled, intelligent, rational and completely devoted. She needed those things. She needed this.
Jane manoeuvred herself on top of her lieutenant, her breath catching a little as he ran his hands up to under her breasts, the contrast of their rough texture and his measured touch always made her breath hitch. The first night of their tryst, had been different, she had pretended to be as infatuated with him as he was with her. Since Eden Prime sleep had not been coming easily to the commander, drugged sleep was no substitute, and for weeks she had been driving herself to fatigue by training until the early hours, before passing out from sheer exhaustion. She was aware that she had not had sex in months and the frustration was not helping things. The night before Ilos she had been at breaking point, large circles under her eyes attested to the insomnia she was experiencing. That she needed some distraction to sleep, was becoming increasingly clear. Virmire had been a disaster. If nothing else, Ashley had been a capable member of the team. The impact that her death had had on the crew had caused them to run less efficiently. That was a problem, that and Saren had Jane's brain running in overdrive from waking to the sleep that never quite came.
Alenko had provided the solution, Jane had no interest in toying with the emotions of others, and it was obvious that for whatever reason he had come to harbour feelings towards her but she had ignored his advances, as she had those of the Asari Liara. But that night as she was desperately seeking to quiet her own thoughts he had appeared in her room. Talking as he usually did about that which he had no say in. But while he spoke her brain became quiet. She watched as he fumbled through his thoughts on the mission and eventually his feelings for her. She had noticed that he was becoming increasingly unstable as he spoke, his emotions bubbling to the surface. He needed something to focus on, believe in, to fight for, and she needed sleep. She played her part with the nervous lieutenant ordering him to her bed, while telling him some of the things that she knew he would want to hear. His face frozen in shock at her sudden change of heart switched to what seemed to be joy as she pressed her lips to his, almost franticly trying to hold on to the silence that was giving way to her own thoughts again. The night had continued with the same urgency. The biotic wanting, it seemed, to explore every part of his commander's body, she reciprocated his enthusiasm focusing on the flesh and the pleasures that it provided as a distraction. They found themselves spent in each other's arms, where she finally found the slumber that had eluded her for days. Waking before her subordinate she showered and dressed before finding herself sitting back looking over him as she assessed the situation.
She had known how she was supposed to feel, perusing the naked sleeping body of the undeniably attractive man. There was just nothing there. Jane couldn't pin point when she had stopped feeling emotions the way she once had. It hadn't been Mindoir, she remembered crying herself to sleep for years. Or even Akuze, as horrible as it was, she still woke with the images in her mind and a cold sweat on her brow. Some point after these, during the illustrious career of Jane Shepard, as it began to dawn on her that she was to be rewarded and lauded, simply for the fact that the galaxy had not chosen to kill her yet. While everyone she formed attachments to died around her. She had panicked the first few times that she realised she was not reacting "normally", had hurriedly overcompensated to prove her remaining humanity, grandiose actions; seducing men, laughing louder , sobbing harder. She still remembered the feelings she once felt, they just no longer seemed pertinent. Time progressed and the apathy increased, the realisation that she was of more use to the galaxy emotionless came upon her. Commander Jane Shepard, pride of the humans, hero of Akuze, became Commander Shepard, Spectre, and grand high bitch of the fleet.
In the present Alenko's hands were grasping her hips as she began to move herself faster on top of him, feeling her release building as she held him down with both hands on his chest as he bucked beneath her. Her eyes still closed perspiration building on her temples. Kaidan sat up, pulling her tightly into himself pressing her breasts against his chest while he pushed himself completely into her. A small moan escaped her lips and she slowed her hips, feeling the small shudders moving through her body holding tightly on to the biotic's back, her face now resting on his shoulder as she slowly ground herself on top of him. Alenko took his cue embracing her as he rolled on top of his commanding officer moving himself in and out at his own preferred pace kissing messily at her neck and shoulder, stubble raking gently across her scarred skin. Jane continued to writhe beneath him urging him on through her movements before he brought his head up to face her.
"I Love you Jane." He rasped as he looked into her closed eyes his body tensing.
"Kaidan…" she whispered as she finally opened her eyes and watched his face as he too finally found release and then collapsed on top of her. It was all he asked of these encounters; just his name, said by her. That was all, just some token of the affection that didn't exist within her.
She kissed him softly, unwrapping her legs from around his waist and allowing him to nestle beside her. Resting his head on hers, pulling her close, his hands continuing to circle her skin, occasionally tracing one of her many scars keeping her thoughts on his touch while her heartbeat slowed and sleep took her.
Jane awoke first, always did. Making her way to the shower before dressing for her days work, watching over the peaceful problem and thinking the same thing she did everyday; how long she should allow this to continue. It was the only doubt left in her life, worth ridding herself of for that fact alone. Until she decided as she always did that the damage was done. As she reminded herself yet again that she needed this. She just didn't need him.