This story takes place around a year after Volume 8. And this is my first KSB story, so yeah. I really hope I didn't screw anything up too much x) I actually came up with the idea for this story while reading I think I made Morinaga say 'Senpai' a bit too many times but that's not a huge deal ~ I'll get over it. I decided to make Masaki the bad guy because of what he did to Kunihiro in Volume 5, so I can imagine him being, you know, evil ~ and I wanted to start the story off with some fluff :D because fluff is like cats on top of cats. But anywhore, I hope you guys like it!
o 0 o O o 0 o
"Ahh, Senpai..."
"Mmn..."
Somewhere in between his kouhai's low, thick breaths upon the nape of his neck, and his own short, raspy breaths as he tried to regain composure, he found himself clearing his mind of all negative thoughts as he wormed further into the warm embrace. He found his hand curtaining gently over the one on his stomach. His thumb ran lovingly over the taut knuckles, noticing the dry white film on his lover's fingers. He cringed in slight disgust, nose crinkling, as he remembered where those fingers had been and what they were capable of doing to his sensitive body. Whilst in denial of what an impact it had on his senses, he always found it quite remarkable of how this man was able to make his body ignite, when he had never received such reaction from being with a woman. The very thought of being gay made his stomach turn. Him, gay? How ridiculous. The very thought of the gender-blind sex fiends made him gag.
But somehow, he was happy that it was this way. It made him feel protected, to know that he was never alone, and would never be abandoned, as per the constant reminders of his kouhai's undying love for him. He trusted the man, and knew he was trusted in return. He knew he would never leave if he wasn't made to. And somehow that was a comfort. He had been swarmed with heartbreak all his life, had never been properly appreciated or loved, and he felt so abandoned and sour. Perhaps this was why he was so tyrannical all the time. As he recalled the lack of happy events in his life, he chocked his attitude up to being alone and disliked all his life. Deep down, he was grateful that someone actually took an interest in him. Sure, sometimes Morinaga pissed him off beyond his comprehension, but he didn't hate him. He couldn't find it in himself to hate him.
And yet, he couldn't find the courage to come out and speak his true feelings. He wondered if he would ever be able to.
"Sexy..." Morinaga pushed the long blonde-brown locks over Souichi's shoulder and trailed his swollen lips up his Senpai's shoulder blades, making the frail man whimper and shake.
"N-not while we just did it...idiot..." Souichi sighed contently, bronze eyes fluttering slightly. He could feel sleep tugging at them, aching for him to fall into its trap.
"Senpai...I love you." The sweet voice carried towards his ear, gently kissing the edge of it before he laid back down, nuzzling his nose into Souichi's shoulder. "I love you...so much. I never want to let you go..." His grip around the man's waist tightened. "I just wish you could feel the same..."
That struck a slight nerve in the man. Sometimes he wished that Morinaga didn't like to cuddle and whisper sweet nothings in his ear after sex. It always made him feel weird whenever he said something about being in love. It made Souichi feel...ashamed.
"Who...ever said...I didn't?"
"Hmm?"
Souichi felt his face flush. Had he really just said that? "W-well...I definately don't hate you...and it's obvious that I want you here..."
"Senpai...are you saying you...love me?" He could just feel Morinaga's eyes widening, the man leaning over him to peer at his face and the expression he was making. Souichi glanced at him, face red. He felt so embarrassed.
At first, the flick of his eyes up at the wondrous green orbs was nothing more than a simple examination. But then, while being practically smothered by those eyes, he saw much more than simple curiosity in them. He saw so much love in them, so much compassion. He found himself mesmerized, studying Morinaga's loving gaze as it stared into his own. His kouhai's face morphed from shock to immense happiness, as Morinaga flailed and threw himself into Souichi.
"Senpai loves me!" Morinaga sniffled as tears brimmed at his waterline.
"Eh!" Souichi was startled by Morinaga's sudden embrace, and found himself compacted between two strong arms, but managed to slowly melt and accept the hug. He could feel Morinaga's hot tears on his shoulder, the man's soft hair rustling his cheek. He knew he really cared for Morinaga, although he would never dare to admit it, but was it love? He had never been in love before. He knew Morinaga had been in love multiple times before, and it would be rather wise for him to ask how to tell if he was truly in love, but that would be giving it away. He racked his mind for a way to tell for certain, but his thoughts were too hazy. He sighed and let his chin rest lightly on Morinaga's shoulder.
"It's okay...I won't tell anybody if you really don't want me to." Those bright green orbs stared into him and made him feel naked. "This can be our little secret, okay?"
Souichi was astonished with himself; here he was going all mushy gushy over some man, and never could find the guts to truly hate what he's become. "S-secret? What secret? I never said anything about that!"
"You know, you don't have to be so nervous around me." Morinaga placed a quick chaste kiss on Souichi's lips. "I promise I won't do anything. As surprising as it may be, I'm actually too beat to do anything."
"Well, isn't that a first." Souichi narrowed his golden eyes at Tetsuhiro and slumped back to his pillow.
"Nee, Senpai..." Morinaga grabbed his wrist, forcing his body to turn to face him again. His dark hair curtained down over his face as he pulled the thin body to his own, holding it securely as if it were an infant. "You're never very pleasant around me, are you? ...It hurts me."
"Huh?"
Tetsuhiro chuckled. "Loving someone for almost six and a half years...who doesn't love you in return...would take a lot of guts, don't you think?" He ran his finger along the purple marks on Souichi's neck.
"I told you already dumbass, I didn't say that!" Souichi, body starting to become heavy with sleep again, immediately bolted up, a look of anger crossing his eyes.
"So you love me, then?"
"Baka! I never said that either!"
"Senpai...your words hurt. Though, you must feel strongly for me in some perspective, if you had the guts to call me out of work for good to come back to the lab."
Souichi gasped softly and looked up at him, eyes riddled with slight shock and astonishment. It was true; he had been lonely long enough, what with Morinaga working a mere hour away and having to stay at a nearby hotel, simply because the ride from work to the apartment was way too long. Souichi had spent countless nights alone, constantly dealing with his poorly managed libido. Without his kouhai's regulated appearance and constant affection, his body had gone haywire with the sudden absence of the hurricane of lust he grew to know.
"Shut up! That was only because I couldn't take care of the apartment alone!"
Morinaga backed away by a couple of inches. "Ah, Senpai..." He brushed his fingers across Souichi's cheek, making it flush pink, before he cupped the man's cheek. Souichi could feel a grin twitching at his lips, but he did his best to fight it off as he sighed and pressed his face further into Tetsuhiro's warm palm. His own hand came up to rub across the knuckles. "I'm happy. You actually wanted me back. Could it be that you...really love me?"
At first, the blonde was silent, eyes shimmering as they fought through multiple different emotions. He wasn't sure whether to be furious and cry, or to be happy and hug him.
His heartbeat quickened and he sat up, looking into Morinaga's eyes. He wasn't even sure if he loved the man in front of him. If he said yes, he would be running the risk of over-selling himself, but if he said no, he'd break Morinaga's heart once again. "T-Tetsu...hiro..."
"It's okay. I know...even though I say it without any restraint...you're not one to be so willing."
"I..." With that one ounce of strength he somehow still had, he threw his arms over Morinaga's shoulders, head tucked in the crook of his neck. His hands found their way into the dark hair that comforted him, body pressed up against the other. He mentally nagged himself, knowing very well they were both still naked and he would easily become turned on within a matter of seconds, but he needed to show Morinaga that even if he didn't exactly love him the way he was loved, he still held a place in the dark, cold cell he called a heart. "I want you...here...s-so don't leave again...idiot..."
After a few seconds of initial shock, Morinaga returned the favor by gently kissing Souichi's cheeks and running his fingers up and down the man's spine in a comforting manner. "Thank you...I'm...I'm happy." He was honestly stunned each time Senpai showed true affection. He had been so used to being rejected and hated by the man he held dear because of his preferences.
"Nnh...d-don't...do that..." Senpai shivered in the brunette's arms, feeling his body react to the unintended stimulation. "We just did it...not even an hour ago..."
"Eh? Oh...! I'm sorry...I didn't mean..." Morinaga pulled away and reached down to pull the blankets up over their bodies, sinking down into his pillow. "I'm sorry. Let's just get some rest."
Souichi concentrated on everything but Morinaga, trying to calm down his senses. He cursed his hypersensitivity; it made him prone to feelings he didn't want to experience, and things he didn't want to understand. It made him hate himself, as he created an image of what he once was, twisted and demented into a caricature of that idiotic brother of his. He sighed in relief when he did soon relax, and lay down facing his kouhai.
"Eh? Senpai?" Morinaga was startled. Souichi had never slept in that position before. It was always him facing the wall, Morinaga cuddling him from behind. He had never once wanted to look the man in the eye after sex. He was always too embarrassed.
"S-shut up." He looked down at his pillow as he was pulled into Tetsuhiro's chiseled chest. The very feel of Tetsuhiro's soft flesh on his own made his face grow warm, but he somehow managed to not become turned on. "What are you...?"
"Can we just stay like this for a while?" Lips traced his eyebrows and the shadows of his bangs.
"...Fine."
"I really love you, Senpai..."
"Saying that while you treat me like a puppet..."
"That's simply because I love that puppet more than the air I breathe."
o 0 o O o 0 o
The morning was peaceful and greeted by tousled bedsheets, warm rays of sun cast on the comforter, the pitchy, boisterous chirps of blue birds flickering in eager ears. It was calm and comfortable, and remained undisturbed, just as they wished it could be. It was a Sunday, so they would not have to go to work, and could remain peacefully set at the apartment. They could do some shopping together, maybe take a nice walk around town. It was a warm day, the sun startlingly bright and the grass as green as Tetsuhiro's irises. It made him smile in his subconscious; he knew that Senpai hated the bright sun. He had said that it was "too yellow" and annoying. He himself cherished the warmth it eminated, the protectiveness it showed. It reminded him of how Kanako-chan had treated him when he had been their aid for a while. She was always elated to have Tetsuhiro over, even if her Nii-san wasn't. Senpai had sworn that if Morinaga was straight and Kanako were older, the two would've been happily married.
Senpai had never been very honest with his feelings; he had been deemed fearless, but appeared to be terrified of how he felt for other people. It was as if he purposely tried to avoid falling in love, as if he would not be able to control himself. But control he owned, and this control was livid. In which sense, he was like Tetsuhiro in a way; uncontrollable. He could no longer control the hatrid he felt for homosexuals; he was changing and he knew it damn well. He felt a certain way for Tetsuhiro, but refused to believe what it could possibly be. And he knew that it was what he was afraid it was.
But how could he tell him? He couldn't just walk up to Tetsuhiro unexpectedly and announce his feelings. Although verbally simple, he was a huge emotional wreck whenever even exposed to Tetsuhiro or anything associated with him. He remembered the nights Tetsuhiro stayed at work, at that hotel, when he was no longer an assistant. Souichi had refused to sleep in his own bed for a while; he had trouble sleeping without that familiar heartwarming presence around him. There were some days when he couldn't stay in the apartment at all, and ended up staying at Matsuda-sama's. When he mustered up the courage to stay in the apartment, he spent his nights snuggling with one of the shirts that Morinaga had left behind.
That night, Souichi had spent his precious sleep time having his dreams invaded by Morinaga's nosy presence. He would be peacefully imagining something, perhaps to do with Kanako, or the occasional dream about his long-gone parents, and he would wake up in tears. But to dream about Morinaga quickly turned into a very dangerous situation; he knew the effects Morinaga did tend to have on his lithe body, and how especially good he was at it, and he knew his history of having dirty dreams was extensive. Even worse - he was sleeping in the arms of the very man responsible.
He needed to change all that; he needed to show Morinaga that he wasn't scared to be in his presence anymore, that he could be generous every once in a while. Of course, with a twisted mine like Tetsuhiro's, he knew the man would expect a sexual favor from him, obviously, something he would never imagine himself doing. Tetsuhiro had tried that on his birthday last year; he even went so far as to refuse to get up and go to work unless Souichi came forward and gave him a blowie. And of course, things ended in blood. But long story short - he was a man and men are strong. He wasn't made of glass.
Tetsuhiro was sleeping peacefully under the comforter, the yellow rays of sun lightly outlining the well-sculpted muscles of his partially exposed torso. His face was painted with a rather content look, lips turned up in a slight smile, skin healthy and soft. He had intended on sleeping in with Senpai, having breakfast together, then spending some time admiring the weather.
But what he hadn't planned on was for Senpai to be awake before him, especially not after a night of sex.
The clattering and loud banging of pans crashing to the floor is what startled him awake; his mind was buzzing and his thoughts raced in figure 8's before he could even remotely comprehend what was going on. He shot up, heart pounding from the sudden fright. His first thought was an attempted assault, an invader in their apartment, sneaking through their things, sabotaging their belongings, and accidentally bumping into things, sending them crashing to the floor. He shooed that first accusation from his mind, as it was morning, and anybody that wanted to break in would've done it during the night when it was dark and when everybody was asleep. But he knew that Isogai was right around the corner, and Tetsuhiro still didn't trust the man at all.
His next thought wasn't one of the cause of the suspicious noise, but of the unknown location of his lover. He glanced next to him; he was right, Senpai wasn't there. What if he had been attacked and hurt? Raped? Murdered? He shuddered at the last thought, heartbeat quickening and breathing becoming labored. It terrified him to even think about his Senpai's broken, mangled body lying helpless. He brought his knees to his chest, feeling hot tears snake down his eyelashes. After minutes of silence following the sudden crashing, he began to grow worried. Thankfully, his worry was short-lived when he heard yet another few loud crashes and Senpai's angry, frustrated screaming. But while he was slightly relieved, it scared him a bit more. When he suddenly heart soft whimpering, his breath hitched. He sounds like he's in pain...oh no...did he hurt himself?He was running before he could even comprehend the fact that his feet worked. He was still so drowsy that he forgot the anatomy of the apartment and lost his way to the kitchen once or twice. He was slightly hungover from drinking last night, but not terribly. His legs were still weak after last night, and multiple times his knees buckled and nearly sent him flying. His hands reached out to push the kitchen door past him, and he was instantly met by a flustered, sighing Senpai.
The man's long dirty blonde hair was left down this morning, tangled over his shoulders, fingers threaded tightly in his bangs. He was sitting on the ground against the counter, knees up, elbows tucked in his lap, face in his palms. Various food scraps littered the counter, some bursting from the clogged garbage disposal. Various pans that once were hanged from a ring board were bent slightly in places and strewn around the room. It was obvious he'd been throwing them across the room. Just them falling wouldn't have dented them like that. Tetsuhiro stepped forward a little and heard the door scrape against a pan on the ground.
"S-Senpai..." He rushed to the man's side, taking the frustrated, small hands in his own warm, strong ones. Souichi peered up at him with red, swollen eyes, eyes that wouldn't have been that damaged from a hangover. He...had been crying?
"Morinaga." He looked startled, as if Morinaga had suddenly snuck up on him without warning. But he had seen him standing in the doorway; he wasn't deaf. "What are you doing awake?" He asked with slight venom lacing his words.
'What am I doing awake'? "Eh? What do you mean what am I doing awake?" Tetsuhiro glanced around at the mess Souichi had made. "All your banging woke me up. I thought someone had broken in and attacked you...and...and I got scared, so..." He refused to finish. He looked down into Souichi's eyes and for a moment, couldn't believe what he was seeing.
He saw those honey-colored eyes he loved so much, full of tears and worry. Who is this person? The Senpai I know would get mad at me for imagining those things.But Souichi's attitude never matched his body language, and Morinaga knew that. "Stop treating me like a child. I'm a man. I'm perfectly capable for defending myself if anything ever happened." Ah, there he is.
Slender fingers reached out to touch blonde hair, but Senpai swatted the hand away.
"Just go back to bed." Souichi stood shakily and barked at the man.
Tetsuhiro backed up a few inches, insulted. "Why?"
"Because I want you to!"
"What? Why do I have to go back to bed? It's already nine-thirty! I can't sleep in forever!"
"Bakaaa~!" Souichi waved his arm around the violated kitchen. "Can't you fucking see what I'm doing in here? I was trying to cook you some breakfast, but you had to fucking interrupt!" His voice was loud and harsh, obviously not caring if the neighbors heard, which they most likely did.
Tetsuhiro gasped softly and looked around the kitchen once more. Senpai didn't realize what he was saying. He had just admitted to caring for the dark-haired fellow and his health. There hadn't been an attacker, after all. It was all Souichi wanting to comfort Morinaga.
Senpai blew a puff of air upwards, trying to cool his warm face. He seemed appreahensive, awfully...unsure of himself. Tetsuhiro couldn't blame him for that. He knew that Senpai couldn't cook, and Senpai even knew. Even when Tetsuhiro was stuck at work some nights, Senpai would either order in or go over to Matsuda-sama's to eat. It was obvious now why Souichi had a temper tantrum in the kitchen and had thrown the pans.
"Senpai..." Tetsuhiro suddenly engulfed him from behind, hands slithering around his waist, face buried into his shoulder. "Why did you want to do that? You know you aren't skilled in culinary arts." He smelled his senpai's hair; it was so silky and clean, and smelled like fresh melon, just how Tetsuhiro liked it.
Souichi seemed to want the ground to open up and swallow him whole, to escape from this embarrassment; but he knew that the ground never just opened up, let alone swallowed people. He felt his face turn hot, his heart rate picking up speed. "I...I wanted to."
Tetsuhiro chuckled. "You're so lovely today."
"Ah...you idiot." Souichi managed to gasp out as a pair of warm, moist lips descended onto his neck. He unconsciously leaned further into the embrace, head lolling back, exposing more of his creamy pale neck.
He knew he was so out of character today, but truth be told, he was so torn up that he just couldn't find a reason to punch the crap out of the man holding him defenseless. He was so comfortable in those strong arms, feeling so protected and loved, like he never had been before. He felt so admired for the first time in his life, even if it was by what he despised most of all. He still hated what he had dared to become, but he couldn't help but feel like he was meant to be this way.
No, what am I saying? I'm not fucking gay. I'm not a god damn homo, and I never will be!"Come on, Senpai. Let's clean up." Tetsuhiro suddenly pulled away, leaving Souichi lingering, aching, bare. "Then I'll fix us up some miso soup. Alright?"
"Ngh...fine." Souichi moved forward to pick up a pan, running his fingernails over the scratches he had created. God, what had he become? He always hated affection, always hated when people were so lovey-dovey with each other, not caring who was around. And now here he was, trembling like a child, wishing that Morinaga was still holding him. His heart was naturally hard, but somehow he could feel it beginning to bloom like a rose. With every glance he took at Tetsuhiro, he felt that wilted bud begin to flower to life. He suddenly began to tremble in unexpected fear. What was happening to him?
Tetsuhiro was busy placing the pans up on the counter to be washed. He didn't catch Souichi's scrutinizing glare studying him.
"M-Morinaga..."
"Eh?" The man looked up at Souichi, who was twitching nervously, heartbeat just audible enough for both of them to hear. Wait...why is he nervous?
Souichi felt the need to move, but found himself frozen in place. He couldn't make a move to Tetsuhiro; that damn homo would pull him into his arms and hug him a thousand times, asking every ten seconds if he truly loved him. He didn't want to fall for Morinaga, but he knew that it was something that couldn't be helped. He knew that love couldn't just disappear overnight. He was going to have to ride it out and see exactly where it took them.
What am I talking about? I don't love him! I can't love a homo! That's ridiculous! I hate him, I despise him, I want him to die...right? Don't I...? I...
"Ahh, Senpai...you're so unfocused today." Tetsuhiro stood up, placing the rest of the pans in the basin. He walked over to a frazzled Souichi and placed his hand on the man's chest, smoothing the fabric of his shirt. Souichi's face was very warm, eyes dilated, fingers tight and locked as if he were suffering from arthritis. "You haven't even put your hair up yet. Not that I'm complaining."
"Huh?" Souichi hadn't even realized his lack of care for his appearance lately. He had always been rather strict with how he looked even more now that Tetsuhiro was living there. He always made sure to look profession and tidy, and made sure he didn't have an inviting posture. The incident at the bar in Canada still haunted him greatly, and even scared him, even though his friends had saved him from another possible assault. Just thinking about that brought back memories of the professor, and what almost happened, and...if Morinaga hadn't gone to check on him...
"Are you alright?" Morinaga's fingers were entwined in Souichi's long hair. Senpai seemed dazed, as if he wasn't even looking at anything.
"I-I'm fine. Just go cook something. I'm starving." Souichi stomped away, face bright red, heart thumping loudly. He couldn't deny the fact that was scared to be alone.
"Alright." Tetsuhiro offered with a small smile. Souichi looked back at him, eyes focused on the way he smiled. His lips would turn up, sometimes showing a few of his perfect white teeth especially when he smirked. His eyes would twinkle and his face would gleam. No! Stop it! You're not gay!Souichi stumbled into the living room, collapsing on the couch. He stretched his legs out, his head leaning back comfortably on the arm. He rubbed his forehead with the back of his head. He needed to stop; he was spiraling out of control. He was falling fast, and he needed to stop it. He didn't care for Morinaga that way, right? He wasn't that infatuated with him. ...Right? This couldn't be happening. He listened to the thumping of his heart, how they became louder at the very thought of the dark-haired man in the next room. His body became warm and tingly, the same way he was when Morinaga cried on his shoulder. Oh, no. It really was true. This was like the end of the world to him. He would never be looked at the same way by his family again. Isogai would boast proudly to him and irritate him so much that he would tear his hair out. Kanako would flood him with questions regarding him and Morinaga as a couple. This just could not be happening.
He didn't want to think about it. He shuddered, realizing it was rather cold in the room. He knew Morinaga would pull some crap to warm him up, using those skilled fingers of his, and the both of them would lose every ounce of self-control they owned and end up fucking on the couch. He wondered to himself how it could've come to this. He knew if he told Tetsuhiro he loved him, he would never be allowed to forget that he said it, but if he said he didn't love him, the man would give up on him and leave university. He didn't know how to say he was stuck in the middle.
He didn't realize that he had fallen asleep thinking about Morinaga.
o 0 o O o 0 o
He woke some time later, and turned over in his sleep to see Morinaga sitting contently on the carpet several feet away from him, a little white bowl in his hands. He lifted his spoon to his lips, eyelids fluttering. It must've been rather delicious, Souichi thought quietly. He was slightly glad that the mess of inky hair and affection hadn't realized he was awake yet. He enjoyed this peace. He enjoyed not being woken up to a half-naked horny Morinaga. He was relieved to see the man dressed in a blue t-shirt and slouched, fitted jeans. He seemed engrossed in whatever it was he was watching on the television, completely oblivious to Souichi sitting up.
He ran his hands through his long hair, brushing out the static. He saw little smudges in his glasses, courtesy of him failing to take them off when he slept. He wiped them on his shirt, thumbs pressing the fabric into the glass in little circles. When he stood to go to the kitchen and get some soup, he saw Morinaga's head turn to him.
"Oh, Senpai! You're awake." Tetsuhiro set his bowl back on the glass coffee table and rose to his feet, walking over and reaching out to pet Souichi's hair. He received no protests, and smiled. "You fell asleep on the couch, so I didn't make you a bowl. The pot's in the oven. Okay?"
"Yeah..." Souichi felt the soft fingers tracing outlines on his cheek. He knew he was blushing and he knew his eyes were admiring the man. But he just couldn't help it. "Uh, I'll...go get a bowl." He backed away from Morinaga and hid his face in his hair as he walked into the kitchen. He was so embarrassed; what had become of him back there? He was like some lovesick puppy. Why couldn't he just slap Morinaga? Why couldn't he just tell him to back off? Why?
His hands trailed on the counter as he peered through the cupboard, finding another white bowl. He grabbed a ladle and opened the oven, taking the pot out. He placed it on the counter and dipped the ladle in it, filling the cupped part. After filling his bowl, he dipped his spoon in it and brought it to his lips. He hadn't realized that he had just practically moaned in ecstasy. Morinaga had made it just the way he liked it, just the way his mother always used to make it. It was so warm and so tangy. He wondered why he had never seen just how truly well Morinaga could cook. He would take such good care of me if I was ill and bedridden.
No, stop that! Stop thinking about that. Stop letting your mind wander. You don't feel that way for him.He sighed hopelessly. Not even his conscious could convince him otherwise.
Souichi dipped his spoon back into the bowl and walked out, sitting down on the carpet next to Tetsuhiro. He noticed two big green eyes peering curiously at him, probably wondering why exactly Senpai had decided to sit right next to him.
"Shut up." Souichi snapped before Morinaga could question his actions. He continued to sip at the soup he was given, while Morinaga had already finished. It was quiet and peaceful, the only audible sounds being the voices on the television, the clinking of the spoon against the porcelain bowl, and the warm sounds of the soup sliding down Souichi's throat.
"I'm happy." Tetsuhiro smiled and leaned in to kiss Souichi's cheek so fast, he wasn't even able to fully comprehend that it had happened.
"Why you little-" Souichi's hand swung back to slap his kouhai across the face, but Tetsuhiro quickly got to his knees and grabbed the blonde's frail wrist.
He looked into those bitter, tawny-colored eyes. "Senpai...don't be mean. I love you. Please don't be like this. We're not out in public. You don't have to be so nervous." Oh, crap. He knew how much Souichi was trembling whenever their skin came in contact. He wasn't sure why, though, and thought it was simply because Senpai was afraid of becoming turned on. He knew once he was horny, there was no turning back.
"Idiot! I'm not nervous!" Souichi defended himself, backing away little by little. He was still haunted by the professor's assault, and perhaps that was why he was so scared of Morinaga's advances on him; he didn't want to be taken advantage of.
"But why are you shaking? You can tell me. It's alright." Tetsuhiro took the little bowl from Souichi's thin hands and placed it on the table. Once he turned his attention back to the man before him, he took the little hands in his own.
"I..." Why exactly was he shaking? It wasn't like he was scared of Morinaga. He just didn't want to be abused like a toy. He was a very strong person, and always did so well on his own. But here he was, faced with another man, and shivering in fear of being abandoned. He couldn't believe the truth of the emotions running thick through his veins. "I don't know. I don't know, and it scares me. I'm not a bad person. I'm always so...unsure of myself...around you, and that scares me! I shouldn't be scared, but what is the reason why I act this way? That's the thing I want to know the most!"
"Se...Senpai..." Tetsuhiro was astonished; Souichi hadn't yet realized what he just said. He had basically came out and told Tetsuhiro that he cared for him but wasn't sure in what way. He had just given the impression that he was in love and didn't know how to react to it. Tetsuhiro didn't even care; he threw his arms around Souichi and hugged him close to his body, not wanting to let go. "Do you mean it? Really, truly? Do you really mean it?
Dammit, Souichi thought. There he goes again, asking me a million times if I really love him. But...do I? I don't know. I've never been in love. I've never known what it was like to be so crazy for another person, and to feel such great heartbreak when they weren't there. I've...ugh, god dammit...I've never realized how truly blind I've been. Fuck my life.Souichi was tired of hearing Morinaga pestering him with questions. He pushed his face forward, pressing his lips to Morinaga's, wanting to feel them eminating warmth throughout his body. Tetsuhiro immediately responded by kissing back, one hand going to the small of Senpai's back and the other getting tied in the long blonde-brown locks. He opened his mouth to feel Souichi's tongue tun across his; that startled him. It had never been Senpai who kissed first, licked first, and touched first. It had always been Morinaga.
Tetsuhiro pulled away, earning a small whimper from his beloved Senpai. He didn't want to stop, but he was too shocked to continue. What exactly just happened?"You really mean it!" Tetsuhiro could feel hot tears bubbling to his waterline, and he could instantly see them blurring his vision. He didn't dare wipe them away; he just let them fall in little streams.
"Egh..." Souichi looked away. "Don't ever mention this to anyone." You dumb shit. Why the hell didn't you say it? Just say it. It's not that hard.
"I won't." Morinaga cooed lovingly. "I'm so happy, Senpai. You've finally come to terms with your feelings. Thank you, so much. I love you...so much that, it pains me to see you suffer...I won't leave you alone...so don't be afraid of me, please..." Those strong arms wrapped him in a blanket of love once more, and this time refused to let go. Souichi felt the need to do something, and with a little endurance, he snaked his arms around Tetsuhiro's neck, pressing his face to the man's exposed collarbone. He inhaled, smelling that familiar, intoxicating scent of his kouhai that never failed to drive him mad. It was so comforting and so irresistable. "I love you."
Souichi felt tears on his neck, and glanced at his shirt, seeing it unbuttoned, leaving his chest and his shoulder exposed. He felt...happy. He held in his own bitter tears and a weak smile, not wanting to seem feeble. He wondered how so much could've happened in so little time. But he knew love's mysterious ways; he knew of Romeo and Juliet and he knew how quickly they had fallen for one another. He just hoped he hadn't fallen that quickly.
He couldn't find the proper words to say; he knew it would be perfect to say those three words Morinaga wanted ever so much to hear his Senpai say, but he just...couldn't. Come to think of it, Souichi couldn't remembered the last time he had said that phrase to anyone. Ever since the death of his mother, he hadn't once said it to Kanako or to Tomoe or to anyone. He wasn't used to it.
"Oh, I know you'll probably get angry, but Masaki-san called." Tetsuhiro pulled away, looking into Souichi's eyes. At the very mention of his ex-boyfriend's name, he saw Senpai's eyes widen dangerously, brow arching.
"What the fuck does he want?" The words slipped out before Souichi could think them over and how they would affect Morinaga. But the man didn't seem all that hurt. Senpai stood up, looking down at him.
"He wanted to apologize for making you feel uncomfortable each time he was here, and-"
"I WASN'T FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE! HE'S JUST FUCKING RUDE!"
"Whoa..." Tetsuhiro rose to Souichi's level. "Senpai, please calm down-"
"I don't want anything to do with him! Why are you so fucking blind?"
"Senpai, please...you're being hurtful. Just let me explain the situation."
"No! The situation was fine until you had to bring that dipshit's name into the conversation!"
"Senpai, listen!"
It was as if the whole fight was in slow-motion, because before they knew it, they were both in a rather compromising position; Souichi pressed up against the wall, Morinaga pressed against him with his hands on either side of the man's head, palms against the wall. Senpai's heartbeat was loud and threatening, as he gulped in each breath of air. "I'm listening, dammit. Just fucking talk."
Tetsuhiro sighed, looking away. His dark hair concealed his vision and prevented Souichi from looking into his disappointed glare. "Masaki called and asked if we could spend time with him before he returns home. He just wanted to make it up to us, because he saw how tense he made you. He wanted to apologize for making you so stressed. Please, Senpai...just do this for me?"
"Why do I have to?" Souichi barked at him, eyes filled to the brim with venom. "He obviously called you, so he obviously wants you!Where do I come into this, huh? Don't feed me his bullshit. He doesn't want me there. He just wants you all to himself." He looked down, bangs hiding him from Morinaga's eyes. "He wants to make sure I can't have you..." His last words were a faint whisper, but he knew Morinaga heard him.
"Senpai..." Those lips were on his again before he could see it happen. And just as quickly as they appeared, they left, leaving him aching once more. "Just come with us, alright? We'll go out for lunch and talk for a bit, and if you really aren't comfortable with it, we'll go home. Alright?"
Easy for you to say. Souichi sighed. He wasn't in any position to argue. If he did, he knew Morinaga would get down on his knees and beg him, or worse, force him. No, that last one wouldn't happen. Morinaga hated to force Souichi to do things. That was one of the reasons Souichi was so comfortable around him; he wasn't like the professor. He wasn't going to hurt him. He was going to be there and he wasn't leaving. But he annoyed him as well; he always played him to his advantage like a puppet on strings. He always managed to get Souichi to do things he didn't want to do. But perhaps it was good that it was this way. Maybe that was what he admired the most about his kouhai. He didn't want to be abandoned again.
"Fine."
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