A Simple Man

An Avengers fanfiction

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

Enjoy.

"Sleep child."

I laid my son down beside his sister, stroking his hair with a sigh. He was everything I could have ever hoped for in a son and heir, the spitting image of myself but with his mother's eyes. With a thanks to whatever gods had created my twins, I tucked them into sleep, leaving their room and going into my own chambers.

My wife was already in bed, seemingly asleep, her dark tresses spread across our pillows. Instead of joining her, however, I went out onto our balcony, closing my eyes and inhaling the icy air of Asgard's winter.

In the time after Loki's fall and the destruction of the Bifrost, we had rebuilt homes and rebuilt lives, attempting to return to the way of life to which we had been accustomed. In some ways, it was better and worse- my position as king ensured that our world would be said, but it took much time away from my family, and there were still many other things that Halea had to do as my wife and queen of the realm. I smiled at the thought of my very own soul incarnate, knowing how much I loved her. My wife's beauty went unrivaled in all of the realms and she was exquisite in every sense of the word, from her caramel skin and colorless eyes to her dark hair that she had let grow to the backs of her knees and the womanly curves that bearing our children had given her. She was a great mother and a beloved friend to all those who bowed before her- but no other love could compare to the one we shared. Halea was the wife who had willingly exiled herself for me, the warrior who I had fought beside, the woman I had pledged myself to- she was that and so much more. It was as if that loved defined me, when in fact, it defined us both. Nothing else truly mattered despite the fact that we were together and had our children- for me it was all that I needed to be a happy man.

I opened my eyes as thunder boomed in the distance, swallowing as I thought of my brother. I had mourned him so, but after the birth of my children there had been no room for sadness in this home.

But still, there were times such as these in which I could not push it to the back of my mind.

I thought back to the past and sighed heavily… when it came to Loki, I was numb. It was almost a drugged feeling that had washed over me for at least a year after his disappearance, an unnatural state that I had to shake myself from time and time again.

That first day after, I remembered how Halea allowed no one to disturb me, defending my emotions like a lioness would her cub. I was most thankful to her- and for her then, knowing that she would be my rock. I spent most of the days after that with my head on her stomach and her hand in my hair, dozing in and out of sleep when the bouts of crying had passed. She'd spoken to me in hushed tones of the times of our childhood with Loki, and she made me laugh over some of the foolish things my only brother had done. Halea had caused me to remember the good things about Loki when all I could do was think of how he had fallen- and my heart had hurt so badly then, even as the memories eased the pain just a little.

"Sweetness."

Halea was standing in the doorway of the balcony as she pulled me out of my musing, her eyes intent on me despite how heavy lidded they were. The hem of her thin nightgown fluttered with the night breeze, a smile creeping across my face as I allowed my eyes to wander over her full breasts, "I am coming to bed soon."

"Not soon enough, I must admit," she said, her voice soft and sweet.

It was sometimes difficult to know that the petite, lovely woman in front of me was actually the goddess of war- and one of the most feared in Asgard. However, I knew as well, that it was a mistake to underestimate her; more than once it had been Halea to put me in my place.

She moved to stand at my side, her hand on my lower back as she looked up at me. When Halea spoke it was not a question, just a statement of what she already knew, "I know that look. You are thinking."

"Of Midgard," I murmured, my hair ruffling at the backs of my shoulders. "It has been almost four years now, and still, we are here. What if something has happened-"

"Nothing has happened Thor," Halea assured me, allowing me to wrap my arms around her waist and rest my head on her shoulder. I heard her sigh quietly as I kissed her cheek, the two of us standing there in the sunrise for a time without speaking. She then stroked my hair and shook her head, "But you have lied to me, for you do not think of Midgard… but of our favored Loki: the storm gives you away."

My voice cracked as I spoke, my face hidden in her hair, "It does not cease nor does time ease the pain. I miss… him."

She turned to face me, reaching up to stroke my hair in the manner she knew comforted me most. "I know Thor: believe me, I know. He was a wonderful friend and a beloved brother- and I miss him too. And although it troubles you-"

"Exactly! It troubles me that even after all this time, there is nothing," I replied almost angrily, cursing silently to the wind. My wife sighed and I shook my head, "I cannot continue to think that he is just out there, somewhere floating in the darkness of space."

Halea broke away from me as a careful look crossed her face, her hands wrapping around the banister before us.

"I hope you will not think it… bold of me to say this," she began gently, the thunder quieting slightly so as better to hear her. "But, do you realize that in breaking the Bridge, you sent Bifrost spilling out into the universe- to the rest of the nine realms? I think it a great possibility that Loki fell into another realm… but we will never know unless you decide to let us touch the Bridge again and finish the repairs.

"It is time."

I lifted my head and looked at her again, my brow furrowing as I considered her words- I had refused to allow the Bifrost Bridge to be repaired because it was the only tie I had left to my brother, the last place in which my family had truly been whole. But still, I wanted to believe that she was right, that she was… logical when I was being anything but. Her thumb reached up to trace the line of my eyebrows before she allowed her hand to run down my cheek.

And then I turned back into our bedroom, shaking my head once more, "No."

Halea came behind me quickly, closing the doors to the balcony before continuing her argument. "Thor, it is time to be realistic my love. I have watched you for four years now suffer from guilt over Loki's actions, over his chosen fall. You are not the only one who lost things that night- you are not the only one who lost Loki. And you are not the only one who bears scars; we all do," my wife said, her hands on my chest. Gray eyes searched my own and I sighed heavily, taking both of her hands in mine and bending down to press my forehead against hers. "Just… consider it Thor, please- for me. Because if you recall as I do, there are things- people- outside of our realm that I hold dear," she murmured, tilting her face up to graze her lips against my cheek.

My wife then pulled her hands from mine and moved to stand beside our bed, brushing her hair back over her shoulders. I watched her undo the bow at the top of her nightgown, Halea pushing down her straps to allow her gown to fall off of her body in waves.

"But for tonight, I wish to hold you… my dearest."

In the morning, I awoke to the sound of Halea humming, feeling her fingers sliding along the length of my back. All I did was adjust myself and sigh, much too comfortable to move. Her feather light caresses threatened to ease me back into sleep once more and I heard her chuckle once, knowing that as long as she had me like this, that I wouldn't move. Then her fingers dug themselves into the hair at the base of my skull and I was immediately awake, feeling her straddle my back. She held me down with her thighs, her fingernails raking down my sides lightly.

"You are awake," Halea stated almost languidly, much to my chagrin.

I turned my head to the side so as to look at her, growling lowly in my chest, "And thoroughly exhausted from last night."

We both looked up at the tatter of her nightgown that she had used to tie my wrist to the headboard last night and I shredded it casually: she had known all along that I could have released myself, but I had not wanted to. I was more content to be her slave than I was to be in control- we both knew that as well.

I rolled over underneath her and smiled, stretching out almost luxuriously upon my back. Halea laughed, bending down to kiss me before slapping her hands against my chest, "Get out of bed, you lazy beast of a man. It is long past time to get the children up."

Once we were relatively decent one of Halea's handmaidens came to help her get ready, brushing out her hair and braiding it. I pulled on my long-sleeved shirt and vest before stepping into my pants, lacing them up rather regretfully as I stole long glances at my wife- I should have thought to take her again this morning. She dressed in a long-sleeved white gown, raising an eyebrow when I dismissed her handmaiden so I could lace up the back of her dress. I allowed my fingers to stroke the back of her neck, feeling a shiver race down her spine as I smiled.

"Do not touch me Thor-King or I will…"

"Or you will what," I asked, challenging her with a grin. I took a step towards her, Halea narrowing her eyes slightly before running around the bedroom as I lunged at her. I chased her across the bed, laughing as she shrieked, "Stop it Thor! Let me be!" She laughed as I cornered her, my arms on either side of her head to trap her there. I whispered sweet nothings to my wife as I kissed her face, pleading with her to allow me entrance.

"Ama? Papa?"

I turned and smiled at my young daughter, her dark curls tumbling down her back. She still wore her nightgown, having just awoken as she rubbed at her startling blue eyes- my eyes. "Oh, come here little one," I cooed, bending down to gather her in my arms. Theia wrapped one of her tiny arms around my neck tightly, brushing her hair back out of her face before she pressed her lovely little mouth against my cheek. She smiled when I touched the tip of her nose, blushing slightly, "Good morning papa, ama… Papa, why is ama red in the face?"

"Well sweetling, I wanted to play tag with your ama and she told me no, forcing me to give chase," I replied, grinning at my wife. She moved forward to kiss Theia, giving me a look before turning to our daughter as she pressed herself against my back. "Its not nice to be mean to papa. Sometimes you have to play- even when you don't want to," Theia said seriously as Halea nodded in reply.

"I know my dove. And I will play with your papa- later."

I smiled at her intimation, watch as Halea pushed on her circlet before going to wake Cierian and left me to help Theia brush her teeth and wash her face.

After all were dressed, we went to breakfast, the food already prepared and the room filled with servants. I lifted my children into their chairs before allowing Halea to do as she pleased, thanking her when she sat my plate before me. She poured spiced wine for the both of us before making the children's plates, the twins smiling at their mother as they ate. I reached out and wrapped my hand around my wife's, bringing it to my lips, "I love you so." Halea only smiled and ran her hand over my scruff before beginning to eat, indulging in some of the sweetmeat- her selection made me look at her twice as sweetmeat was one of the only things she ever wanted to eat when she was pregnant. She must have seen my hopeful expression before I replaced it with a blank look, narrowing her eyes slightly, "You must not even think it Thor. I told you no."

I smiled and simply shrugged, taking a bite out of my apple.