TITLE: Eyes Unfamiliar
AUTHOR: Cheddar (Amyz909@cs.com)
SPOILERS: None
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Nope- sorry—not mine! Never will be. I'm just playing. They belong to Chris Carter and 1013 ARCHIVING: Sure, as long as my name and email are still on it NOTE: THIS IS STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS
You with your fiery red hair and calm disposition- you are a paradox, Dana Scully. Your tiny, seemingly fragile frame holds such a strong, heartbroken sole that it rises to the need to hold in such anger and hurt- forcing it to become a hard rigid guard to your heart. How many times have I tried to get to your heart- tried to reach you on an intimate level- only to be brushed away by your fear of being heartbroken by me once again. Ironically, I finally can touch your heart now… but in much more of a physical way than I had always longed for.
You are lying there, so beautiful, so feminine. I reach out tentatively to touch your helpless body. Perhaps I can comfort you by touching you. It has always worked before, and I pray in this time of need it will work again. I want to show you I am here… I always was there and I always will be. I pray to God that perhaps there will be a time where I can be there for you tomorrow, or the next day, or next week.
God, you are so beautiful. How did I deserve the privilege of knowing you- of loving you? Who gave me the right to breath the air your lungs have already seen? I don't know if there is any other being on this earth- or above this earth- who is as heavenly as you. I wish so desperately that I could do something for you right now, for all that you have done for me I owe you my life. And if there was something I could do to breath life into you right now, God knows I would.
I shakily reach my arm around your stomach and use what strength I have left to roll you over into the crook of my arm at a site that is unfamiliar to my eyes. Maybe you can feel my warmth on an emotional level, and maybe that will help you. Please, please show me you feel me.
Now that your heavenly face is leaned towards mine, I stare into your eyes. They say the eyes reflect into a persons' sole, but you are living proof that is wrong. Any man on the street would look at your eyes and see your eyes. But behind your almost cold, unemotional demeanor, lies a vulnerable and deeply caring person who has a love for other humans. You seem so straightforward on the outside, but you have such an unselfish heart that comes out when it is deeply touched. You love people- and you would give your life to save someone else. It hurts me so much to know you will never bear a child of your own. You would be the perfect mother and you would love that child so much… the child that never was. You still love that child, though we both know it will never be born.
Your arm is now resting on my chest and my unsteady breathing causes it to twitch at any given moment. I reach out to touch your thin, soft fingers and wrap my grasp around your tiny wrists. I bring your little hands up to my mouth and kiss them. Your fingers should have a diamond ring resting on them… maybe not mine but that of some man who is more deserving of you than me. They should be dangling with jewelry and riches that costs thousands of dollars. No one yet has realized how much you really are worth. If I could, I would buy you the most beautiful dress and the most exquisite diamonds and precious gems so you would be draped with the lavish luxuries you so deserve. But I know I could never afford to spend my love for you on riches, since there is so much more I have to pay for.
I whisper your name but you do not awake from the deep slumber which has encumbered you. I hope you can hear me. I hope you know I am still here.
I do not know how long it has been, but it seems like no one will ever come. I never wanted it to end this way- all alone. We are supposed to die for a cause, and not be gunned down by fugitives trying to make a getaway.
Perhaps someone will come soon. But meanwhile your blood is slowly and steadily draining out of your body onto the floor. My blood is too but at a slower rate. They meet in a small pool between our bodies so you don't know whose is whose. But it doesn't matter. I don't think it ever mattered.
My voice cracks as I speak your name. I whisper that I love you. I hope you heard me. I hope that was the last thing you heard, because moments later an ambulance siren screeches our names out into the cold, dark DC streets. After I told you I loved you, I held your hand once more, but it was already cold. The only sound in the warehouse room was the sound of my heartbeat.
I hope the last thing you heard was that I loved you.
NOTE: Yipes!! Whew, that was hard to write, being a shipper and everything. I hope it turned out well. Please don't get me wrong- I NEVER want this to happen. Just playing around. Feedback- good or bad- is much, much appreciated (Amyz909@cs.com). Thank you so much for reading!