A/N: Again Sirius/Remus. You should know the drill by now, if you aren't into slash or this pairing, there isn't much point in reading this fic. I don't own any recognisable characters or places. Ciao.

Raspberry Wine

Hermione let herself into Remus's rundown home, unsurprised to find the door unlocked. With wards as powerful as his, theft was a negligible threat. The house was quiet, and the heels of her shoes clicked unforgivingly against the cold stone floor. Deciding that they made far too much noise, she slid them off her feet and padded into the lounge. The sweet, sticky stench or raspberries and cinnamon assaulted her senses, causing her to wrinkle her nose. Upon the small wooden coffee table, in front of a moth-eaten sofa, were two tall champagne glasses. One was overturned and sticky red liquid pooled on the wood. The other glass was adorned around the rim by lip marks in silver glitter-gloss. The young witch raised an eyebrow. It appeared Lupin had been entertaining someone.

A dark robe hung haphazardly over a corner of the sofa, which may have been red at some point in the distant past, but now was so stained and tattered that it was practically impossible to say. An empty bottle of "Madame Mortimer's Magical Raspberry Wine" lay at her feet. She picked it up and examined the label with a vague interest before making her way, with much apprehension, to Lupin's bedroom.

She breathed a heavy sigh of relief as she realised that the former Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher was, although naked, alone in his bed. The room reeked of sweat and semen and he was entangled roughly in the sheets. Clothes were laid out messily around the room, giving the young witch the impression that their owner had barely noticed removing them. There was no sign of another person, though.

Hermione blushed deeply as the full implication of what she had witness washed over her. Now, she was no prude, but being only fourteen years of age, had never even been close to this kind of situation before. Unsure of how to react, she decided to return later.

She turned herself decisively around and came face to chest with the other offender. She swallowed, working up the courage to look up and confirm the man's identity. Pale skin, a too-thin figure, but tall and proud with defined musculature and scars criss-crossing him all over. He was also naked. Hermione shifted uncomfortably, shooting a brief glance up at his face.

It was none other than Sirius Black. She squeaked in surprise and leapt back, averting her eyes from his nakedness.

Once he had gotten over the initial shock of finding Hermione there, he grinned. "G'mornin' Hermione."

"Um.. Hi Sirius." Her gaze dropped to the floor. "I'll -uh- come back later."

She made as if to leave, but the convict's hand on her shoulder halted her.

"Accio Robe." He donned the attire quickly for the young woman's sake. On the whole, he appeared entirely comfortable to wander around in Remus's house dressed in nothing but his skin. "What brings you here so early?"

"Um- Harry asked me to pass on a message since he isn't allowed to use his owl. I didn't expect to- uh- yeah- um- I didn't think you'd-"

"Ah, don't worry. You're a smart girl. You'd have figured it out eventually. I suppose I'd better wake sleeping beauty there." He flicked the wand he was holding (which probably belonged to Remus, Hermione wasn't sure whether he'd gotten a new one yet) and a jet of icy water splashed over the werewolf.

Remus sat up, coughing and spluttering, cursing Sirius with every word he knew. He was about to climb out of bed to annihilate the animagus when Hermione's mortified form caught his eye. He blushed deeply.

"Um- Harry asked me to tell you that he's doing fine, he misses you and he's looking forward to going back to Hogwarts. He also asked me to ask you if you wanted to meet with him somewhere and- yeah. I'll be leaving now." She dashed out of the door, breathing hard, utterly mortified. She hurried over to the nearest phone box and dialled the number of Harry's relatives.

"Hello. This is Hermione Granger. I wonder if I could talk to Harry?"

A faint grumbling came from the other end of the line. "Boy! Phone! Don't you tie up my phone line for too long y'hear?"

"Yes Uncle Vernon."

"Harry?"

"Hey Hermione. Are you having a good holiday?"

"Yeah. I don't suppose I even need to ask you."

"Lousy as always. Are you feeling okay? You sound a little.. breathless."

"Oh Merlin Harry, you remember you asked me to go talk to Lupin for you? And ask him to owl Sirius?"

"Yeah, couldn't you do it? It doesn't matter you know."

"Oh I did it. And that's the problem. I'm never going to be able to get the images out of my head."

"What images?"

"You're never going to believe this Harry, but I went over to Lupin's a bit earlier.. And uh- Sirius was nak- I mean - there."

"So?"

"Well," her voice dropped to a conspirital whisper. "I think they'd been, you know.. doing stuff."

"Playing chess?"

"No! Shagging!"

There was silence for quite a while. Before -"Whoa, really?"

"Well the room reeked of sweat and they were naked so its a pretty good bet."

"Never saw that one coming.. Herm, I'm sorry Uncle Vernon is yelling at me to free up the line. Talk to you soon."

"Bye Harry." She hung up, hiccoughing with laughter.

Who would've known. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black indeed. A Muggle family walking past gave her odd looks as she sank to the ground, back against the phone box, laughing hysterically.

A/N: My review monster is always hungry.