Tonight, my lover, Kanou Somuku-san will be returning from his 3-week business trip to US. During those times, if he has a free time, he'd always spend them with a video chat with me. He said he can't help getting suspicious of me and his subordinate, the kind Homare Kuba-san. And whenever he starts to accuse me, I would then deny it. But since my lover is the kind who can't easily trust my words, even in video calls, he'll violate me. He'd ask me – no, he'd force me to do things that I'd die doing. Things that are beyond embarrassing. Things that I never thought I'd do on own while someone is smirking at my indecent actions in front of a phone's camera.

I know that you are saying that I should hate him and leave him for good; especially that man of mine was abroad. But you know, even if he defiles me in the most unimaginable way, the thought of being separated from him on my own really makes me lonely. Because for me, even if Kanou-san might treat me harshly in bed, even if sometimes he'd get mad at my recklessness, even if he'd embarrass me in front of other people (the ones we know only), I still think he is… kind. He was the one who saved me from that auction even if we are strangers, after all.

At first I thought that he was purchasing people from that place just to use them for his bodily desires. But I was wrong. I learned that that was the first time he ever put a bid in that auction. He even used someone's identification card just so he could get in. But one thing I couldn't understand still was how did he know I'd be one of the merchandise being sold that night? When I tried asking him that, he changed the subject immediately.

So I did not touch the subject ever again.

One of the reasons why I can't seemed to leave my beast of a lover is that… he is the only one who can make my body… sated.

But I'm not saying I was held by another man or… men. It's just that I know he's the only one. And each time I think of that truth, my body would shiver. Because the truth is… I still couldn't believe that my body would love (blushes) what my perverted lover is doing to me. Even the Skype sessions that would end up in me lying naked and playing with my body just to prove to Kanou-san that I was not doing something with his subordinate. Somehow, I'd anticipate that something will happen and to my utmost dismay, my body likes the thought. My body likes it when Kanou-san is accusing me of cheating on him. Because he will ask me – again, force me to spread my legs in front of the laptop for him to see. My body likes it when I see him focused on my rear end and looked like he'd come out of the computer.

But my hunger for his touch was covered in a mask of tears and lies like saying, "Please, stop it, Kanou-san." Well, it's not actually a complete lie. My remaining rationality would still argue with my internal beast until the former dies down and overpowered by the latter. The beast inside me likes it when Kanou-san will look even more dominant when he sees my tears. And when he's totally aggressive, he'd use more power to defile me even from abroad. And I can't afford to deny an angry Kanou-san so I'd do whatever he tells me to do. Be it sticking my fingers inside my entrance or jacking off in front of him.

Am I still normal?

I guess not.

People hate me because of my girly appearance and physique and not to mention I act like one. I am weak. But I was born this way. When I was young, my humble mother and father did not say anything to it. They were even glad that I can help mother with the household chores. Even my grandma and grandpa praise me. Our neighbors would tell mother and father how lucky they were to have a son as good and kind as me. Children in our neighborhood did not bully me for being looking like a girl; they were nice to me. They wanted to be friends with me.

No one told me to change the way I lived until my parents died in an accident and Tetsuo's family brought me in to become part of them. Sooner, we moved to Shinjuku, a far place from the countryside I used to live. There, I met more kinds of people. For the first time, I was treated so badly by my own so-called family.

And that dark day happened at the auction.

A doorbell brought me back from reality. I was enlightened immediately knowing that the one behind that door is the man I was thinking the whole time. The man whose touch I painstakingly wait.

The moment I saw him, I couldn't stay calm and just ran and hugged him tight, "Kanou-san!"

"But… Ayase-san, I'm – "

"What's the meaning of this, Ayase Yukiya?"

From behind the man I was hugging, I saw Kanou-san. And the one I was hugging was no other than… the kind Kuba Homare-san. Right then, I know that I'd have a sleepless night ahead of me.

"K-Kuba-san! I – I'm so sorry!"

I backed away when a death glare from Kanou-san soaked in my very being. "I was so excited that I thought the one who'd ring the doorbell was you, Kanou-san. I didn't know…" I trailed off when the menacing glare didn't change. I knew that when Kuba-san is dismissed, Kanou-san would take me on this very spot I am standing. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Kuba, you can take your leave."

Kuba-san left after bidding us good night and I was left with a scary Kanou-san. When he faced me, he smirked and pushed me against a nearby wall, lavishing my mouth and neck for the first time in the last three weeks. He bit and sucked my sensitive lips and collarbone. As he was doing so, my knees lost their strengths and slump limply into Kanou-san's body. He really knows how to melt me.

"You've got guts hugging Kuba in front of me. You sure want to make me jealous and violent to you, huh, Ayase Yukiya."

The jealousy is strong in Kanou-san's voice and it made me… excited in a sensual way. "No, I didn't mean to do that. I thought he was you."

"Yeah, as if I'd fall for your lie."

Kanou-san ripped me of my clothes and attacked my chest and oh my nipples. He went back up to fuck my mouth with his tongue. His free hand pinched my nipple so hard it made me moan harshly. Yeah, I want more of what he was doing.

"I'm so sorry, Kanou-san. Please be gentle – Uhn!" Kanou-san's fingers on his free hand skillfully pressed my sweet spot. In no time, my hip was also in sync with his finger thrusting, wanting him to touch my button again. But Kanou-san was in his sadistic mode. I looked into those eyes but all I could see was a beast ready to eat his prey. Kanou-san will not touch my spot again; that is what his eyes are saying. But I was also in my masochistic mode, so the pain of not getting any release was exciting me more.

"Nnnh, please, Kanou-san."

"Shut up!" His angry voice, oh how I love listening to it.

Kanou-san pulled put his fingers which made me groan in disappointment. I thought he was going to give me what I was waiting in the last three weeks, but he did not. Instead, he lifted me and soon dropped me in our bed. He spread my legs so wide and plunged his tongue inside. I wished he'd go a little bit deeper so he can hit my spot again but Kanou-san was a beast, he hit everything but the one thing that makes me dizzy.

Never anger Kanou-san, I have noted that long time ago but I still do so unnoticeably.

"Please, Kanou-san..." I begged again partly because I want him to give me a release but mostly because I want him to be more violent to me. Begging him seems to put him in a more sadistic mode that's why I love it

Kanou-san understood me. He pinched my nipples hardly again, twisting and pulling them. I was moaning and groaning and panting. I want more of Kanou-san.

"I want you, Kanou-san, please."

"You will have me, then."

He stroked his member twice before sheathing it in my hole. It was so hot that my inside felt like they turned into a mush of muscles. Kanou-san did not wait for me to adjust from his size and just went and rammed his member inside me. It was painful especially that he was not inside me for three weeks but the pain was so delicious that all I could say coherently was "More!" and Kanou-san was generous to give me what I wanted. Knowing my body well, I said, "A little bit to the left – There!" And I was moaning again until my throat became dry and I was groaning. The beast that was Kanou-san repeatedly violate my sweet spot until white dots are dancing behind my lids as I shot my cum and it landed on my stomach and chest.

But Kanou-san was still hard inside me and so the second round began immediately.

It was almost four in the morning when Kanou-san finally shot his last essence in my mouth while I was blowing him. It was his fourth time coming but I lost count of how many times I did. But one thing is for sure, if Kanou-san wanted another round, I'd be having a dry orgasm. Usually, it takes two or three of my coming before Kanou-san came himself but since I was lonely for almost a month, I was so sensitive that just a few thrusts from him makes me come.

"You better not cheat on me, Ayase Yukiya." My lover said as he took my hand and brushed his lips on my fingers smoothly.

"You know I will never do that, Kanou-san." I assured him with my face blushing due to Kanou-san's sweetness. It still amazes me that this beast can do such romantic things as kissing my hand. "But like I said, I was so excited to see you that I thought it was you who was ringing the doorbell."

"So, next time make sure it was me or else we'll fuck again like this." This time, he kissed my forehead as he covered our sticky bodies with the comforter. The thought excited me and found myself looking forward to that promise. "Is your body okay?" I heard him ask.

"I can manage but I think I will be bedridden for two to three days."

"Yeah, thought so. I will just tell Homare to bring you pain killers," He spooned me in his arms as kissed the top of my head and resting there for a while.

"There you go again, Kanou-san! If you are so against the thought of me cheating on you with Kuba-san, why always ask him to be here with me alone? Can't you just buy and give it to me it yourself?"

"Good question. Hmm, maybe I just want to display you to him. I want to see him snap and lose his patience and see if he'd try to jump you while I am at my office."

"How could you? Kuba-san will never do that."

"Men are men, Ayase. They can't resist the temptation especially if it's displayed for them."

"You are cruel." I said, turning the other way so I was turning my back on him.

"Ah, geez! Why are we talking about another guy right after sex? Look who's cruel here?"

I stayed silent, not wanting to talk because I was so tired and I just want to listen to Kanou-san's heart beat.

"Hey, are you listening? Oi, Ayase. Don't tell me you're already asleep? Geez, I was looking forward to have a nice pillow talk with you."

Hmm, I just realized, whenever Kanou-san is sated, he'd become more… talkative and act something that is so not him.

"Aren't you going to tell me you miss me, at least?" When he heard no reply from me, he sighed, giving up and kissed my cheek while whispering into my ear, "Because me… I missed you so much that I came to a point where I almost gave up the business meetings and the deals just so I could hurry and come back to you."

At that time, I did not have to look into Kanou-san's eyes just to see if he was just playing fun of me. The change of his heart beat from calm to wild is the proof that he was not joking one bit. At that time I could cry from happiness. A sated Kanou-san is also honest and sweet.

"I miss you too, idiot." I talked back. I realized too, that a sated me could talk to Kanou-san without stammering and just no hint of fear in my voice. I could become myself. And that is because of this man. My masochistic side, the other me, I could show it to Kanou-san only, too. This man brings out the best in me.

"Well, then, why don't you face me and show me how much you miss me?"

"You perverted bastard. I'm sleeping!" But I turned to him anyways because I also want to see his handsome face that I miss the most. Video calls can't simply be enough. Cameras can't capture Kanou-san's beauty.

"You are so beautiful, Ayase."

I can say I'm bright red with the way he looks at me when he said those words. "I said I'm sleeping!" I only said that because I don't know how to deal with a romantic Kanou-san. I don't know what I'd say once he praises me.

"Ok, you're tired so I will let you sleep." He kissed me on the lips and ghosted my lips with a "Good night, my love."

I felt so much loved just by hearing those words from him together with this big man's loud heart beat after saying those words. Was it just his heart beat, though? 'cause I think we are having the same rhythm.

Hallo guys. Another fic from me, please tell me about your thoughts in this, k? Tho I know this is not related to any songs (I intended to write stories base on a song/songs), but this idea just popped into my head and I can't help typing it and publishing. So, there you are, my first M-rated fic. Enjoy!

PS:

Are you guys fine with the way I changed the story to let's say, dark to sweet? Hmmm, I wonder about my change of mind about this story. Hehehe.