Disclaimer: I do not own anything
I had permission to write the actual fight… all credits go to flowerchild3286
A GAME OF RISK: THE FIGHT
Sasha reached the stairs and took them two at a time. Kelly winced when he slammed the door behind him, the sound echoing against the metal walls of the gym. For a very brief moment there was complete silence as the entire gym stopped to see what would happen. Then there was an explosion of sound.
The door slams with a loud bang, neither one of them paid attention to it. 'What the hell are you doing here?' Sasha shouts, the same time Payson yells, 'Tell me the truth!'
'Is that why you're here?' Sasha looked incredulous. ' Well, the truth about what? The truth about how disappointed I am in you? Of how low I think you've gone. Or the truth about me not even want to look you in the eye.' Sasha throws at her. 'I don't think you needed to come all the way from Denver to hear that. What were you fucking thinking?'
'Like you even care. And it's not up to you anymore, you're not my coach.' She shouts at him. The anger Marty stirred in here coming to a boiling point now she's standing in front of him, the man that ruined her, in every possible way.
'This has nothing to do with that and you know it. You are ruining your dream with your shameless actions. I thought you knew better, I thought you were better.'
This feels like a slap in the face. 'That I were better, are you kidding me! How dare you say that. You made it pretty clear you didn't want to risk being with me, so why do you even care. You don't have a right to tell me how to live my life. I make my own decisions. I don't need you, there are plenty of men who think I'm beautiful, who want me. ME. They took a chance with me, a risk, one you weren't willing to make, so you have absolutely no right to yell at me, to accuse me of things you have no part in what so ever.'
'You think they want you because they think you're pretty?' He laughs bitterly at that, not because she isn't the most beautiful girl in the world, but because those bastards only wanted to get off, and she was the easiest to go to. 'You think you mean anything to them at all? You couldn't be more wrong, they don't care about you or what you want, what your dreams are, they only want to get into your pants as quickly as possible, and having heard the rumours I don't think they had a hard time getting what they wanted.'
She doesn't even respond to his accusations. That's what probably scares him the most, the emotionless expression in her eyes, even when she's fighting it doesn't go away entirely. 'Well all of that doesn't come close to what you did, so I'm fine with it.'
'You're fine with everybody calling you names, everybody knowing what you are doing!'
'Just say it Sasha, or are you to proud to even tell me what you so desperately want to shout at me?' She's challenging him now, he knows it, but he can't help giving in.
He did not do this to her, she cannot blame him for this. 'I did not do this to you. I didn't tell you to fuck around with everybody, I didn't make you put your body up for taking, that's all your own doing. You're making a joke out of yourself and with it your including me and I'm not even a part of this circus.'
'Ooh but that's exactly what this is about isn't it, you don't have me, don't want me, but nobody else can either, well that's classic Sasha, but you can't tell me what to do, whom I'm with.'
'If you think that, you really don't know who I am.' He walks fort and back in front of her, his anger so severe he can't stay still. He will not think to much about some of the accusations she made, because if he does he's lost, he cannot admit he wants her more than anything, it will destroy all that is left, if there is even something left.
'I don't know you? Don't pull that shit on me. I'm not the media. I know you, I know every shitty thing about you.'
'You do? Ooh enlighten me.' Sarcasm dripping from his tone.
'You are scared, afraid to show feelings, you don't want to risk being with me because it could ruin your career.'
'I don't care about my career.' He fumes.
'Yes you do. You always pretend like you don't, but you cannot lie to me, you cannot fucking lie to me. You like your reputation, how they call you a rebel, how unmanageable and distant you portray yourself. You don't fool me, you reputation is all you have left so you take care of it like it's the most precious thing in the world. You won't admit how lonely you are, how unhappy you are, you only pretend to have it together. You're nothing more than a filthy lousy liar and I'm not the only one who sees that anymore, the media finally sees what a façade you have been your whole life.'
'I don't care about my career.' He contradicts her again, ignoring the parts she has nailed. She's right about a lot of things, but so wrong about others. So this time when he goes against her his voice sounds even louder. 'If I did care I would have left you long ago, YOU, not the others, only you. If I cared about my career I would never have helped you get to the point where you were at Worlds.' He deliberately chooses that moment to end his doing, after worlds everything fell apart. 'I made you the best despite all the rumours, despite all the little remarks on our so called affair. But I didn't care about what people would say about me, I ignored everything, because I cared about you, I wanted you to achieve your dreams.'
'You don't care about the rumours? Bullshit. Just utter bullshit Sasha! Then why the hell did you leave in the first place? You can't fool me, maybe yourself, but not me. Those rumours about you being a paedophile hit you more than you'll ever admit and you blame me for that, you will always blame me for that. Because you want me, the 'young naïve innocent' girl, you want to fuck my like those boys did and you're not legally allowed to.' They're only inches apart now. 'When you first came to the Rock I thought I'd gotten the best coach in the world, despite the rumours about what happened back in Romania, I believed you could help me achieve my dreams, but you let me fall to pieces, pieces so big I'm not sure I'll ever recover. But you know how that feels don't you, having a gymnast fall so badly she'll never get up again. You couldn't save Natasha with you 'heroic' actions, and you can't save me. I won't let you, because I don't trust you, and I'll never trust you again. You used me for your own benefit, to give your rotten career a boost, maybe you didn't force yourself on me like the paedophile the media accused you to be, but you forced your ideas on me, your hopes and ambition. You let me believe I was special, that I meant something to you. I should have ended things back in Snagnov when I had the chance.'
He can't deny the things she said and can't keep the hurt hidden when she mentions Natasha. He had indeed been worried about his reputation, but not in the way Payson accuses him of. People still whisper about what happened in Romania and he didn't want to make it any worse by being with Payson, but it took him so long to leave her it was too late. He chooses to ignore her accusations though, this is not about him, she's the one behaving like a bloody idiot.
They had moved during their argument so that they were standing in front of the office window, and everybody in the gym was staring at them. Both of them didn't realize.
'Don't make this about me, don't you dare analyze me when your behaving like this. You always scolded the other for having secret boyfriends. You were so mad at Emily when she got pregnant, well at least she was with somebody who really cares about her. And Lauren, you always yelled at her for not dedicating herself enough to the sport, but only wondering how Carter or Max would like her outfit. How is what you're doing any better? If anything it's even worse, how can you do this, to yourself, but also to your family. How are your parents, Becca!, supposed to react to this kind of behaviour, how can they hold their heads high with a daughter or sister like this. You're acting immature and like the child you apparently still are, even though you try so hard not to look like it. You may have called me selfish, trying to get my career going again, but you're the selfish one here now, chasing something that's beyond your grasp so you take the first person you can get, destroying everything your family, coaches, friends, but mostly you yourself, worked so hard for. You're throwing it all away, and for what? FOR WHAT PAYSON? You're whoring around in Denver…' Before he can continue his rant he feels a burning on his cheek. It takes a second more to register that Payson slapped him. How DARE she, how dare she slap him!
Before he can react however he sees Payson close in on him, very quickly. When he feels her lips on his he doesn't make the mistake he made the last time. He doesn't push her away. Never again will he deny her anything. All the anger he had just minutes ago disappear and are replaced by desperate desire to be with her, for as long as she'll have him. He attacks her mouth savagely. He is not gentle, but neither is she. For her it seems like she's trying to hurt him more than give him pleasure. But she's failing miserably. He could relish in this feeling forever. Even if the only reason for her attack was complete and furious anger. He can feel her hands through his shirt on his chest, scraping red scars over his torso, but he doesn't care. All he wants is her, he backs her up against his desk, knocking stuff of, all of it scattering on the floor. Hitching her leg over his hips he feels her hands slid under his shirt, the feel of her hands on his bare skin inflaming a dying fire in his chest. He's about to take her right there, show her exactly what she was trying to replace with those stupid boys, show her the orgasms only he can give her, make her scream his name over and over again in pleasure, when he suddenly, distantly, realizes they're still in his office. He pushes off of her, leaving her panting for air.
'Payson, we need to stop this.'
'Why?' Just one word, and he is already considering going back in for more. No, he needs to stay level headed.
'We need to talk about this.'
'Again, why, because you are afraid to commit to something a bit more permanent than an airstream?'
He takes a deep breath, in order not to shout at her again. 'Because this is going to blow up eventually if we don't. You're still mad at me, and I'm still angry at you.'
He saw her eyes flicker, finally some emotion, and than she sighed. 'Fine, talk.'
He didn't think he was going to be the one to go first, but looking at her she makes it clear she's leaving him no choice. 'Fine, I thought being with you, you being with me would hurt you. That it would ruin your chances to go to the Olympics, not because it would damage your ability to perform, but how it would damage your image with the NGO. I could never forgive myself if you'd loose your dream.'
'All of that was nothing compared to how much you hurt me by leaving me. I trusted you, I needed your guidance, I needed you.' She tells him, he's glad the shouting is over, her pained voice becoming too much.
'I know, I know that now. That day you showed up in Snagnov, what you said. I'll never forget how disappointed you were in me. It really pissed me off what you said there. I was trying to do the best I could, I did what I thought was right and you called me on it. Called me a quitter, when you left my medal behind I knew I'd done something wrong, so I came back. But things needed to change, at least for me so I wouldn't need to leave again, so I distanced myself from you. Maybe that was wrong, but that's the only thing I could think of.'
'It was wrong alright.' She looks at him directly. 'I would have been better of if you stayed away, the way you 'coached' me after that was useless.' When he's about to protest she stops him. 'Don't try to deny it, you know I'm right.'
He acknowledges her accusation with a nod. 'It doesn't change the fact that what you did was selfish, irresponsible and most of all stupid. You've been playing a very dangerous game with all those boys.' His eyes flicker with hurt when he mentions her latest hobby. 'Why did you do it? Why did you have sex with all those boys?'
'To forget, to pretend, I don't know, I don't know why I did any of it after a while. I just was hurting so much, I did everything to make that go away. Pretending that it was you when they screwed me was the only way to feel at least something, even if it was only anger.' She admits after a long silence. 'I hated you so much for what you did, I hated you because that was the only way I could think of in order to survive.'
'I should have never let you leave in the first place.'
'You couldn't have stopped me.'
'I should have tried.' She smiles at that, she really smiles, for the first time in months. Sasha stops pacing, not being able to take his eyes off of her. 'Can you forgive me for being such an arse?'
This has her surprised. She'd expected a lot, but not an apology. He wants her to forgive him, even though she's been making a spectacle out of herself. 'You still want me?'
'I've always wanted you and that won't change now, but a lot has happened. I think we need to start over, give each other time to process everything. I can't forget what you did in Denver and I know you can't forget what I did to you over the years, but I ask you to forgive me for that.'
'Will we ever get back to where we were?' All of a sudden the old Payson is back, the Payson he loves and wants to keep save.
'I don't think we will, but I know I don't want that. I want to have more. I want you, you to achieve your dreams, I want a future with you. But I can't train you anymore, you don't trust me to guide you without holding you back. It can't change the things that I've said or the things you did.'
She stays silent for so long Sasha is worried he said something wrong, again. 'So.' She muses eventually. 'I keep training in Denver, we start talking again, preferably more than talking.' She adds with a cautious grin. 'I'll go chase my dreams and you'll support me. You will choose me.'
'Like I ever stood a chance against you. You had me when you stormed into the gym this morning.'
With that answer her grin chances into a beaming smile. Holding out her hand she gives him the chance to leave everything that happened behind them, he only has to take it.
They watched with bated breath as Payson and Sasha talked. They had calmed down after their passionate kiss and were no longer yelling. Payson was leaning against the desk, in the same spot that Sasha had left her, and he was pacing the room. They spoke for over half an hour before, finally, Payson held her hand out to Sasha and he took it. When he pulled her into his arms and kissed her the entire gym cheered.
Flowerchild3286's stories + Rocky Road leftovers (which need to be eaten) + Red wine = This! I intended it to be like 1000 words, turned out a bit more... :P With the help of Flowerchild3286 this came to life, so thanks again.. hope you approve… please R&R :)
