A/N: Okay, I'm prepared for ANYTHING that comes towards me. *is wearing protective gear* Yeah, yeah, the stuff I promised a month ago still haven't come yet, and I may have not responded to your PM, but I'm only chatting with my closest friends, and people I'm associated with for web design and collabs, other than that; I'm on hiatus. No, I won't respond to your PM unless you're one of the following people... Kaye Nightshade, RageRunsStill, Ballet Reader, .Revenge, Athens Eternal Maiden, Wisdom is All, Reading-and-Bubbling and A Million Reviews. It's not that they're are my closest friends [Well some of them are, but that isn't the reason], it's 'cause I have some work [collab, beta, website help etc] dealing with them. I'll be back in the summer, about in mid-August at the least. Hopefully with a whole bunch of one-shots and continuations of my stories. Enjoy this summer-themed Jonalie for the time being.
Title: Frozen Yogurt
Characters: Natalie Kabra and Jonah Wizard ft. Kaye Nightshade & Glacier the Penguin, Sanity Optional & Tenshi the Bengali Tiger, Ted Starling and Reagan Holt
Genres: Romance/ Humor/Parody
Rating: K+
Summary: "What favour?" Jonah asked. The blackette grinned cheekily. "This favour." And at that, she dropped a cup of frozen yogurt over Jonah's head. – Teagan and Jonalie, kind of. Dedicated to Kaye Nightshade. WARNING; This one-shot has no meaning, do not read!
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Serene, peaceful, quiet, that's what you could have called Central Park. Could have called, at least before Agent Kaye Nightshade ripped through the pavement.
"Come back here!" Kaye screamed loudly. One minute she was munching happily on her Cheetos (According to her penguin, Glacier, Cheetos tasted the best in New York [The whole reason why Kaye was there]), and next she was flailing to grab her red scarf. Stupid wind, Kaye thought. Sure, the wind was nice on sunny days, but was a terrible beast when it snatched your things when you're trying to enjoy some Cheetos.
"Watch where you're going, dude!" Someone shrilled as Kaye stumbled into them. "No one, but da Wizard, is allowed near the Wizard property." Wizard. Kaye looked up to see Jonah Wizard. Dark shades hanging from one ear, steam practically bellowing from his ears, Jonah looked like he was caught in the Great Cahill Fire, and just escaped.
"I'll gladly leave 'the Wizard Property'!" Kaye huffed, as she hastily got up and walked away. Jonah clenched his teeth. No one treated the Wizard like that. "Great, I lost my scarf, and I have Jonah DNA all over me!" Kaye muttered under her breath.
"You're different." Jonah commented. Kaye just about jumped at his voice.
"Don't sneak up on people like that, it's rude." Only a Lucian can do that, you morbid Janus. Not that I have a problem with Januses, just Jonah, the egotistical maniac. Kaye thought. "So what do want now, Wizard?"
"You're a Lucian. I could tell. The scarf you were chasing had the two-headed snake logo the Lucian clan loves oh-so-much. Plus it is red." Jonah snickered, ignoring Kaye's question.
"I don't have time for this!" Kaye screamed into the sky and walked away. Jonah chuckled before turning to his limo. Meanwhile, Kaye was ranting to herself as she was walking down the sidewalk.
"Stupid, stupid Jonah. Ignoring my question, and giving me attitude." Kaye murmured. Her phone began to ring 'Written in the Stars', meaning that it was Sanity Optional, one of her insane FanFiction friends.
"Agent Kaye Nightshade. What's up?" Kaye said coolly. Sanity half-snorted, the sound echoing in the distance. Probably because she was in the Poison Vault.
"Formal much? Anyways I have a super-duper special Lucian mission for you! According to my sources, Natalie is in New York for some new Chanel clothing, while Jonah Wizard is touring in New York too! So I was thinking..." Kaye cringed. She knew what was going to come next. "JONALIE WILL BECOME A REALITY!" Sanity screamed.
"Awww, couldn't you get someone else to do the job?" Kaye whined. She didn't want to see more of Jonah, one glance at him was enough to last her a lifetime. And not in the good way.
"Another mini assignment, if you choose to accept both this and my totally awesome-super-duper-major Jonalie mission, is to pair Ted and Reagan up. Yes, I know you're a Teagan fan." Sanity muttered. Kaye jumped around happily. "I'll be sending them to help you with the Jonalie mission. Do you accept, Agent Kaye Nightshade?"
"Well, duh. Teagan." Kaye said as if it were a simple fact.
"Heh. Good. You have three hours to complete this mission, including the mini mission." Sanity concluded, before the line when dead. At Lucian HQ, Sanity was petting her Bengal Tiger, Tenshi. "I think we need to go help our friend. Tenshi, get the Shark. We're going to New York."
Kaye stood there, awestruck. She stared at the phone. Three hours? Could she make two people, who are in two different branches of the Cahill family, like each other? And then there's Ted and Reagan to worry about! Sanity didn't say when they were arriving, and wher-
"HEY KAYE!" Ted and Reagan sang in unison. Kaye let out a shrill yelp, and tumbled to the ground. Reagan let out a little yelp of her own and helped Kaye up.
"Hey guys... I guess Sanity gave you a mission briefing, huh?" Only one, unlike me. Kaye thought. Ted nodded, and handed her a stuffed penguin toy.
No wait- it's Glacier.
"Hey Glacier, how was your trip to Paris? Brought back some Chanel? Prada?" Kaye asked. Glacier made a noise that was cross from a hiccup and a snort.
"That's cute." Reagan exclaimed. Ted sighed at Reagan's foolishness.
"Yes, cute, now we better get a move on. Sanity said that Natalie will be at the Chanel shop at Times Square, if we hurry, Kaye could positively talk about Jo-" Ted started, but Kaye's cry of dismay stopped him short.
"Now just wait a minute, I'm not being Jonah's invisible wingpenguin!" Kaye exclaimed.
"Isn't it wingma-"
"I KNOW WHAT I SAID, STARLING!" Kaye yelled at Ted, and at that, he cringed. "Sorry, it's just that Jonah's on my bad side since... the Pudding catastrophe." Kaye concluded, with a faraway look in her eyes.
Flashback...
Jonah dumped pudding over Kaye's head.
End of Flashback... wait, already?
Reagan stared at her with disbelief. "That's it? He dumped pudding on your head? What kind of catastrophe is that?" Reagan asked. Kaye bulged her eyes.
"It took me three hours to get that pudding out of my hair, THREE HOURS!" Kaye exclaimed. Reagan and Ted rolled their eyes; even Glacier had to show his response to Kaye's childishness by letting out a little huff.
"Whatever, let's go to Times Square and get those two together, no matter how many times the thought of Natalie and Jonah being together disgusts me!" Ted exclaimed. Reagan punched him.
"Oh hush, it's cute." Reagan prodded Ted, and then smirked. "Of course, maybe you just want Natalie to yourself." Reagan teased.
"Ew, no. I like someone else." At that, Reagan's smile faded a bit.
"Let's just get this over with." Kaye huffed, and pulled Glacier, Reagan and Ted towards the purple helicopter awaiting for them in the middle of the park.
Yes, they are amazingly sneaky spies, aren't they?
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The purple [and now dented] helicopter skidded to a stop in front of an ice cream shop. Reagan suggest to eat some ice cream, discuss the plan and then go. They discussed it, went to work. The plan worked, Natalie asks Jonah out, and it's all gung-ho for everybody. Then cows danced to the beat of an Indian drum.
The end.
"NO! YOU STILL DIDN'T BRING THE FROZEN YOGURT PART OF THIS ONE-SHOT!" Reagan screamed into my [the narrator] face. Ted looked confused.
"We're in a story? But, this isn't fictional, or is it!" He asked. Kaye laughed nervously.
"Now Reagan, it isn't polite to shout in unknown narrator faces without asking! Don't you know your manners? Now, just continue the story, Bob. Oh, and your pink moustache is falling off." Kaye said, and the story [sadly] continued.
"We already know Jonah likes Natalie, surprisingly, he's just too shy to say so. I still remember the gummy bears*... ah, young love." Ted exclaimed as he took a bite of his Banana Split. Reagan pulled a face.
"And I thought I was sappy." Reagan muttered while eating her Triple Deluxe Chocolate Sundae. Kaye was happily munching on her Vanilla Sundae, while Glacier just ate an ice cream sandwich. "Ted, how much time until Sanity's arrival?" Reagan asked
"Two hours and forty-seven minutes." Ted answered. Then he turned to Kaye. "Let's talk strategy."
"So, just basically, I'll just talk about... Jonah?" Kaye asked. Ted nodded. "Impossible."
"You're the one who's being impossible." Ted countered. Kaye squinted at him. "Really, all you have to do is say how much of an awesome guy Jonah really is. Even bring some of these." Ted handed Kaye a bag of gummy bears.
"To... remind her of how much of an awesome time she had with Jonah? You know, before, when they were young?" Kaye asked.
"Yes Catherine Obvious!" Reagan exclaimed.
"You watch too much Victorious." Ted chided. Reagan just pouted in response. "Cute." A blush spread across Reagan's face.
Hey, maybe Ted will complete my mini assignment for me. Kaye thought, as Ted flailed to find an excuse for his outburst, but there was no need. Reagan was still as red as a tomato, if not more.
"Let's go!" Kaye interrupted. Reagan and Ted looked relived for an excuse out of their awkward conversation. Glacier climbed on Kaye's back, and the four walked out of the ice cream.
They just didn't realize someone was watching them, covered in black from head to toe.
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"Is this necessary?" Reagan asked, as the four crawled through the store's air duct. "I mean, we could have just walked through the front door." Kaye sighed in exasperation.
"But we're spies, we need to be sneaky!" Kaye explained. Ted rolled his eyes, but no one could see since he was behind, right after Glacier. "Ted, how much time until Sanity is supposed to come to New York?"
"Yes, and parking the helicopter in front of an ice cream shop is very sneaky. And, um, one hour and twenty-two mintues." Ted replied, with sarcasm evident in his voice. Kaye considered sticking her tongue out to Ted, but there would be no point, since it would have slowed them down.
"Hey, I think I found an exit!" Kaye pulled the air duct cover and jumped through it. A foul odour passed into Ted's nose. "No, Kaye, that's the way to the garbage room!" Silence. Kaye's piercing scream broke that pure silence.
"EWWW, THERE'S A BANANA PEEL ON MY HEAD." Ted and Reagan just had to laugh at that. Even Glacier chortled that cute little hiccup/snort sound. "THIS. IS. NOT. FUNNY."
"Sorry! Should we get you up? Or let you sleep with the cans tonight?" Reagan laughed. "Okay, I'm sorry. There's actually no point of pulling you up, the store is through that door." Reagan pointed to the only exit in the room.
"Okay... hold on." Kaye said, and in a few minutes, it was as if Kaye never stepped into the garbage bin. "Even I amaze myself with only deodorant and whipped cream." Kaye exclaimed as she strode through the door, and there, complaining to the shop owner, was Natalie Kabra. Cranky as usual.
"What do you mean you're out of my size? I demand my Stretch Skin Suade Boots RIGHT NOW!" Natalie shrilled, the store owner cringed.
"Alright, I'll go check the back, spoiled brat." The store owner muttered at the last part, but Natalie heard anyway and chucked a makeup compact at her. "Ouch!"
"Sorry, it slipped." Natalie said sweetly. The owner glared at her and walked towards the back. "Kaye, come out. I know you're here, and if it's about Jonah, I'm not interested, Sanity had already sent Dan, Alistair and even Madison to do her dirty work for her." Natalie said, without looking up from her manicured nails. Kaye clenched her teeth, but an idea struck her.
"Oh, I'm not here for Sanity, I was wondering if you'd like some gummy bears." Natalie's bit back a gasp. Lucian's don't appear surprised. But the hazed memory of childhood washed back to her.
Flashback...
"Gummy bears?" I distastefully asked. Jonah nodded.
"Yeah, gummy bears. Y'know, they taste really good, y'want some?" Jonah asked. I shook my head and reached for something in my purse. I brought out a bag of…
"Gumdrops?" Jonah questioned. I rolled my eyes and nodded.
"Yes, gumdrops, you American git." I proclaimed. Jonah scowled.
"Too scared to try a gummy bear, Nat?"
"Too scared to try a gumdrop, Jo?"
"Just try one." Jonah pleaded. I was hesitant, and bit my lip. I began to fidget.
"But… mum doesn't even let me eat gumdrops, I always have to sneak them in the mansion, I'm not sure what she'll say about eating… gummy bears.
"But then again, I guess one wouldn't hurt." I finished, plucking a red gummy bear from Jonah's bag. My face scrunched up a bit. "They're a tad too sweet… now you have to try a gumdrop!" I exclaimed.
"Fine. But if I choke it out on your dress, don't blame me." Jonah taunted. I grunted and handed him my bag. Jonah picked out a green gumdrop and popped it into his mouth. Jonah's mouth twisted a bit. "It's too sour." he bluntly stated.
"I guess we're different." I concluded. Jonah nodded.
End of flashback... wow, that was bigger than before.
"Uhhh..." Natalie said rather unintelligently. Kaye chuckled. "You little-" Natalie said.
"Me little what? Git? Well this git wants you to be with Jonah." Kaye proclaimed. Natalie's cheeks we're now tinted with a light pink. She's so flustered that she's speechless. Very un-Lucian like. Very un-Kabra like at that. Kaye thought.
"... You and Sanity really want me to be with Jonah, right?" Natalie asked Kaye. Kaye shrugged. "What does that mean?" Natalie asked impatiently.
"Your choice, what do you think? I'm going to skip the cliché 'follow what your heart says' saying. I'm not that type of person, I just saying do what you want to do." Kaye said.
"Here are your Stretch Skin Suade Boots in your size. I heard talking, what was going on?" The storeowner asked Natalie, as she came back with a pair of boots in her hand.
"I was talking with my c-" Natalie began, but when she turned to where Kaye was, Agent Kaye Nightshade was gone.
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"Is the story over yet?" I asked, as I petted a purple monkey. Very random indeed, no? "I need a better job than this." I muttered. Reagan rolled her eyes at me.
"What you need is a better life. And a better moustache color. Seriously, pink doesn't fit you, Bob, but purple is a color anyone can pull off. That's why it's the best." Reagan taunted me. "And stop being so lazy, we're only done the boring parts, the frozen yogurt part is the best."
"Reagan?" Ted asked.
"Yeah, Teddy?" Reagan answered.
"Could we get out of this air vent? It's scorching in here." Ted complained. Reagan nodded, but they both fell through the air vent that leaded to the garbage room.
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"Fifty-one minutes left until Sanity's mission is supposed to be completed." Kaye concluded. Ted and Reagan groaned. They still haven't completed their mini-mission, let alone the real task at hand.
"I think we should just give up." Reagan said, after silence took over the air.
"You be crazy, dude! I need to complete my assignments!" Kaye exclaimed, but widen her eyes when she realized her grave mistake. She tried to cover it. "Ack, see? I can think straight!"
"Nice try. What's this other assignment?" Ted questioned Kaye. Glacier was nowhere in sight. Sanity would be in New York to see that neither of her missions were completed, and she STILL had no Cheetos! "Answer us, Kaye Nightshade, or face the somewhat girlish wrath of Reagan Holt!" Ted chortled. Reagan slammed her left fist against her right hand.
"Well, you see-" Kaye began, but a limo skidding to a halt cut her off. It was Jonah... and Natalie?
"Hey cous', I found your red scarf!" Jonah exclaimed, while shining his white teeth at her. Kaye did a slight nose crinkle, but thanked him afterwards.
"I fail to see why you would need a scarf in the summer, but..." Natalie trailed off, and shrugged. "I want to thank you. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have been with Jonah." Natalie said. Kaye smiled.
"Uhh, no problem, but how this all happen?" Kaye asked. "I mean, an hour ago, you guys decided you shouldn't even see each other, and now you guys are all lovey-dovey. Spill."
"You'll find out soon enough**..." Jonah said mischievously.
"Now, I'm not much of an ice cream person... but how about we all get frozen yogurt?" Natalie chimed in. Everyone agreed and off they went.
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"Welcome to the Kawaii Shoppe, may I take your order?" The waitress asked the seven of us [yes, even me, Bob! :D]. She looked quite fimilar. Tanned skin, jet-black hair, brown eyes that look like a shade of midnight black... an older version of Natalie that traveled from the future to destroy the Cahill clan? No, only in Dan's fantasy that could ever happen.
It was-
"SANITY?" Everyone screamed in unison.
"That's my name, don't wear it out. You can wear my name inside though." Sanity chuckled at her pathetic pun. Then she frowned. "My pun isn't pathetic, Bob. Go get a better life."
"Haha! I told you so!" Reagan exclaimed in my face. I pouted, but shrugged it off. "So why are you here Sanity-san? The assignment is done. Jonalie is now a reality!" Reagan cheerfully added. Sanity smirked.
"Need to do a favour for Kaye-san." Sanity grinned impishly.
"What favour?" Jonah asked. The blackette grinned cheekily. "This favour." And at that, she dropped a cup of frozen yogurt over Jonah's head.
"THE PUDDING CATASTROPHE!" Kaye exclaimed and flung frozen yogurt at Natalie. Natalie shrieked.
"You incompetent git! You'll pay!" Natalie exclaimed, and threw strawberry fro-yo towards Kaye's direction, only to hit Ted in the face. "Oh dear, this can't end well."
"NATALIE YOU'LL PAY!" Ted howled in blind, seething, raging anger. Soon Reagan was covered and everyone was tossing fro-yo. Even Glacier and Tenshi we're covering each other with no-longer-frozen yogurt.
"I told you the frozen yogurt part was the best!" Reagan exclaimed. I grinned, and my pink moustache fell to the ground.
And it was.
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So that concludes another sweet-themed Jonalie. It had no meaning, no romance. I know. I've had writers' block for quite some time, and I thought maybe writing a Jonalie would help.
I was wrong.
But it was a nice change, and here are a few notes.
*Reference to my other story, Gumdrops and Gummybears.
**Refering to the soon-to-come sequel. And a prequel. All dealing with summer treats.
Hope everyone is having an awesome summer. :D Reviews make the world go around.
Sanity Optional