Jeff's Version of a Thrift Shop

(warning- written for amusement; crack fic)

featuring

Jeff the Killer, Eyeless Jack, Jane the killer, Masky, Hoodie and Slenderman

Extra:

Sorry about the misspelled words and misplaced sentences.

Will get to editing it at some point but for right now...Enjoy.

Putting the buds into his ear and turning up the music of the player he stole a few blocks up, Jeff bounced on his heels as the set-to-repeat song of Thrift Shop by Macklemore started up. He continued the bounce by putting it into each one of his steps as he made his way down the street.

He nodded to a few seemly drunk people who felt inclined to spend their saturday night outside with the city's nightlife despite the warning news on TV about different extracted murders. A few belonging to the white hoody, black and white converse and black pants wearing teenager currently making their way around the city like they owned it. Which as far as he was cornered, he very fucking much did.

In fact.

Jeff slid up behind a couple on beat of the song; the male lighting a smoke while his girlfriend typed away on her cellphone. He tapped the former on the shoulder gaining the motion of their taller form turning to face him then freezing at the sight. Jeff paid the seeping look horror on the man's face no attention as he swiped the lit smoke from their mouth and put it between his own lips and breathed in with a cheeky grin.

Before the man could exhale what the young killer knew would of been a scream of fear; he swiftly sliced their throat forcing their would of been scream into a gurgled muffled sound that only caught the attention of the man's girlfriend. Seriously, how did she not see him? And apparently the man's name was oddly enough; Jeff.

He shrugged off the thought not really caring seeing as how he had her attention now. Her green eyes confused for a few seconds too long in his opinion before widening in fear and jerking to him. "Got 20 dollars?" he asked simply as if he didn't just off her lover right next to her. The woman in reaction did something even he as a well honed mass murder couldn't even find amusing but rather pitiful.

She fainted.

Not evening going to give her action a responding, he crouched down and picked up the phone still gripped her hand and pried it free. Pocketing it along with her boyfriend's before taking the man's coat; wasn't like he'd need it anymore ways and he always wanted to try on The Puppeteer's duo-tailed trench coat but the asshole was too strung up on it. Greedy bastard.

He himself would of let the pumpkin wannabe borrow his hoodie one time if it meant getting to wear that jacket. At least he got his own now; which Jeff slipped on. The ends brushing the floor due to his height being a whole head shorter than the coat's previous owner. Something he easily dealt with by ignoring the minor detail.

As he continued on his way with the same music attuned steps projecting him forward, he scrolled through the contact list of the girl's phone. He paused mid step as he realized he hadn't killed her. It wouldn't of mattered though he guessed. A lot of people tonight had seen him so there wasn't much point in keeping her silent of his where abouts. Finding the name he was looking for he sent a quick text; feeling the other phone in his new coat pocket ding with a vibrate.

He now had someone to go hunt down.

Jeff walked toward the direction he recalled Slenderman sending Eyeless Jack to. After walking a few more blocks and taking a left turn on the third; he came across a small group of misfit looking teenagers hanging inside the fenced lined empty parking lot. Grinning wider he promptly made his way over; slipping easily between two boys with similar hair coloring to his own and snatched the bottle of whiskey that was about to be passed between the two.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" shouted the one to his left.

"I'm a who, thank you." Jeff answered the exclaim as if it was actually a question before taking a deep swig of the booze drink; the liquid mostly sloshing out the sides of his face thanks to the extended smile of his but the amount that did slid down his throat made his chest instantly warm in a way that made him give the the drink a funny look.

"And just who the hell are you dressed like that? Some cosplayer?" Asked a voice of another male who was seated upon one of the metal dividers that showed where the front bumper of a car was to be facing.

"Jeff the killer. I'm sure you'll hear more about me."

A few of the older looking teenagers laughed and exchanged amused looks among each other. Something Jeff saw instantly but didn't bother to question. He watched as the boy who had made his presence known took the bottle from him and wasted no time sipping from it. It made Jeff raise his brows in surprise having never had someone share anything with him minus his older brother and the few forgotten kids when he was much much younger and non-murderous.

"Nice costume. I'll probably see you at the convention in two weeks times, Jeff." spoke up a blonde haired girl who was seated beside a guy who wore a dark colored hoodie that looked just like the one Eyeless Jack owned.

The way she had said his name as if it some kind of lie wasn't lost on his fine tuned murder skills. But still, seeing that hoodie reminded Jeff of why he was even headed in this direction. He rolled his gaze over the group of 7; himself being that 7th. Would he be growing slack if he didn't kill at one of them? Yes, yes he would. He stood up, glanced between the two boys he had slipped in between of decided to off the one to the right; he had noticed that annoyed look. Fucking rude child. He side stepped to the right to stand right behind them whilst sliding out his precious knife and quickly covering the kid's eyes with his free hand as to not let the others' wide-eyed and horror stricken expression give away his plan. He smiled his trademark grin at the group as he ran his blade over the boy's throat; chuckling as a few instantly scrambled away leaving those shell-shocked to remain.

Luckily for them he had to catch a fellow murder who wouldn't remain in the same place forever.

With that thought in mind, he took one of the propped up skateboards that had been left behind or belonged to those still in shock or even to the rude kid who dared to diss his presence. The justice!

He laughed full out as he left the parking lot and boarded the rest of the way to where Jack had been sent to be. Finding the masked murder was a bit easier said than done as it was far more crowded in the downtown district of the city then the uptown but Jeff did finally locate the eyeless male turning the corner of a alleyway placed in the direct center of a side street. He hopped off the board; debating to take it with him or not before he figured why not to match his new coat and headed toward the shadowed form standing in the darkness of the alleyway. Jeff kept the same bounce to his walking, natural grin upon his face expanding the closer he got to the other.

The moment he walked two steps before the alley way aiming to stop at the center of the opening; a darkened hand grabbed him by the coat and yanked his smaller form into the alley without time for an exclaim.

Either he was getting rusty or Jack was just that good.

The navy mask stared down at him in silence before it slowly tilted to the side; Jack's fingers pinched the unknown cloth of the newly obtained coat in substitute for words. Words to a questio Jeff easily understood having worked with the rarely talkative killer upon Slenderman's orders countless times before.

"New fucking coat! Now I don't have to chop up the Puppet's." Jack's head tilting to the side faintly made him wave at the air as if there was dusting he was shooing away when it just the taller male's unspoken response. "Anyways, I got this for you. Do what the text says, Eyeless!"

Which was to call the number the text came from.

And with that said, Jeff put the phone that had belonged to the man who he took the coat from into Jack's hand and departed the alley without a backward glance. He walked into the middle of the street; got onto the board and with honed reflexes, snagged the bumper of a passing car that didn't bother to slow down despite him being right there. He silently gave props to them...well he would of if it wasn't him they didn't care about hitting.

At this point Jeff could not mouth along to the song having heard it so many times on repeat but it still didn't lose its favor.

The unknowingly given back uptown was ended before the destination was even reached thanks to the vibration and ringing combo. Jeff veered off after letting go of the car, guiding the board to the closer to the sidewalk while removing the girl's phone and hitting the answer button only to hear a muffled sound and then the tap and shuffle of what he knew to be Eyeless Jack's mask.

"You realize you actually have to talk now, right?"

Jeff waggled his tongue at a crowd of people waiting on line for some club causing quite a few of them, namely the female, to scream in fright while a few guys shouted at him. Some in cheer to his costume and a few in warning to keep moving his freak lookin ass away. Of course it was just his play to stop the board's momentum and push it along slowly, taking his damn time to pass the crowd. Much to their dislike and his growing amusement.

He was distracted by Jack's raspy deep voice finally sounding through device into his ear. "Slender will not be pleased, you know."

"Fuck if I care. I'm having fun, something you-OH SHITY TITS!" Jeff shouted; unknowingly making Jack jerk the phone away from his ear as he made his way through the masses of bodies before giving the useless phone a stare then tossing it to the ground not finding it worth his attention any longer. "FUUUCK! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT CUNT JANE WAS HERE!?...?... JACK, YOU EYELESS ASSWHI-!"

Jeff dropped the phone as he was forced to pick up speed in order to escape the raven haired, pale assed, bitch of a fellow murder. Although really her kills were more like kindergarten level murders. Sometimes they didn't even die properly for fucks sake. Like the few five, which honestly isn't a few, that had to be finished off by himself, the Puppeteer or Hoodie since Masky had a weird thing for Jane the wannabe killer.

"GET BACK HERE, ASSHOLE!" Shouted Jane as she ran after the long haired male in the blood stained white hoodie and skinny black jeans; that coat hid nothing from her.

"NOT ON YOUR FUCKING GRAVE, YOU-" Here he paused in his reply as he jumped his board to land upon the sidewalk to better lose her. He blinked as he saw an up and coming flower stand. He reached out and sagged the bundle that was about to exchange hands from the seller to the buyer. He pushed down to the end of the block and swiveled the board to do a 180 and stopping pressing back on the tail of the skateboard.

Jane was quickly closing in the distance; her black-outed eyes furious as she stared at him. Her wavy hair looked like a mane of rage when paired with the cold expression of hatred upon her face. Jeff of course wasn't nudged by her but the knife she was now lifting that he knew she wouldn't rest until it ran through his milky toned flesh kinda did.

He removed the coat and held it in the same hand as he had the flowers and at just the right time Jeff started up the board again and rammed the bundle of flowers the coat right into Jane's face. He snickered as he rode off having caught sight of her stupidly wide-eyed expression before the petals and heavy coat made what he knew would be an uncomfortable impact to her face.

His laughter trailed after him. Gaining the attention of many; 3 of being fairly of interest. One was a police car that started up its siren instantly and gave him chase at a harsher pace than Jane. And the other 2 were actually Masky and Hoodie.

The orange wearing duo had just been leaving the only house upon the block with its lights all off before 10 pm. They watched Jeff's widely grinning face pass by following his form before the flashing light of a cop car caught their attention making them tense only for them to relax and follow the motion of the police car as it zoomed right passed. They shared a look between them before shaking their head.

"Slender won't be happy." Hoodie stated as he started to walk down the steps.

Masky nodded in agreement, his hidden mouth opening to add when he caught sight of someone all in black running down the street. He, along with Hoodie, watched as the figure drew closer and closer until they were able to tell who it was; causing them to blink in surprise as Jane slowed down to a stop before them. Her panting breath heavy as she hunched over some, her hand still keeping tight grip of the knife while she caught her breath.

"Where...where did he go?" came the slightly wheezed question. "That..little freak shit."

Both boys simply pointed down the street not looking away from her.

Jane gave them a blank stare before giving a tainted smile and taking off again leaving the two boys to watch her back until it got too far away from even their line of extendedly trained sight.

In the meantime. Jeff sly lost the police having hopped off the stolen board to the opening stairs of a subway station. Of course he didn't go any further in not wanting to limited in his escape routes. But hell if he was going to stay in one place after having gained the attention of the police plus the bitch's own.

She needed to get laid.

Or actually get a better kill count.

Woman was just jealous of him.

Jeff nodded to himself as he tugged up the hood of his white sweater and left his crouched position on the station entrance way stairs. His steps fell back into bouncing tune with the song; singing the lyrics out loud as he now knew them word for word.

He joined the crowds of lazily walking people. He lowered his gaze to their pockets and smiled sinfully as an idea popped into his head. An idea brought forth by the song itself. Slipping his knife into his sleeve, he angled out only the tip and once he came to a crosswalk with a 'don't walk' signal he made quick work of a few pockets, emptying them out. Of course he couldn't just leave them without lasting stain.

The knife slid into more than just a few people's pockets but also their very flesh. Jeff managed to kill three people waiting for the light before their slumping over forms caught the attention of the others and in turn their screams and shouts of horror at the spotted newly dead bodies.

"Tooooooo fuuuuckinnng funny."

Jeff looked over his shoulder as he crossed the street; being the only one who actually did out of the gather reaming 5, and winked as a few pointed at him having connected the dots faster than he thought human able. The least he could do to give them a show of kudos was to wink. He was after all giving them a smile already.

Not wanting to be caught, not that anyone could, the infamous teenage killer ducked into a department store that sold clothes. Much to his lucky delight. He plucked a black hoodie that even from a glance along looked 2 sizes too big for him but it wasn't as if he planned to pay for it with the freshly stolen money he had just knifed.

Tugging it on, Jeff stuck a pose before one of the many mirrors placed without the store. He didn't look bad at all in black but it didn't showcase his death victories at all unlike his favored white hoodie did. It'd have to do for now though. And boy was it needed when the tag he wasn't even aware existed on newly obtained clothing set off an alarm by the rear entrance doors located on the other side of where he had entered the store from. He quickly booked it down the street; gaining speed and actually surpassing his former speed from the over run workout the police and Jane had given him.

It was just as he was about to dive into an alleyway did Jeff notice flicker of a body suddenly appearing the second before empty space.

His form collided with something that reminded him of a tree with a bit of soft padding. Not much though. He rubbed his head barely noticing the fact the headphones had popped out of his ears when the music player had clattered to the ground upon the crash. He was about to whip out his knife only to pause as he registered the sight of a black suit and tie presented against a white long sleeved shirt. With very long sleeves and a very long torso.

Jeff lifted his gaze up and up and up and up until his wide eyes met the faceless stare of Slenderman before being teleported away leaving only a curse word to echo within the suddenly empty alleyway; gaining an odd look from a couple that passed by just a second later.

Ah..shit.

THE END.