Author's Note: Writing April's suicide again. April/Maureen sorta. Probably doesn't make much sense, because I'm sick, but...I still hope you like it! Thanks for reading. Please review :)
It was an average, ordinary day in the loft.
It was cold, January 20th. There were several feet of snow on the ground, although being New York, much of it had already been plowed. The snow that was still visible was gray and slushy. Ugly.
Roger was out at a bar, playing with his band. Mark, that crazy idiot, was out filming somewhere or other, probably outdoors. Benny was probably at Allison's again, and Collins...was out being Collins.
That left April and Maureen in the loft. Freezing.
The two girls were snuggling on the broken down couch, searching for warmth.
It was no secret that April and Maureen were close friends, and always had been. They had grown up together, and saw each other as being sisters. That being said, they had always had a somewhat incestual relationship. They had never thought that it was weird, therefore anyone who had a problem with it was not someone that they hung around.
Fortunately for the girls, boys will be boys.
Granted, from time to time they came across men who were jealous and couldn't stand the fact that they loved each other as much as they did, but those were relationships that never lasted. Living in the Village, however, provided them with an environment in which they could be who they were without shame.
They never thought of themselves as being lovers.
They weren't lovers, really, they were just close. They discovered sexual pleasure with one another. Clearly that meant that they had a special connection, which isn't to say that they hadn't before then, on the contrary, they had always been attached at the hip.
They were best friends.
They did everything together.
Maureen hated Roger because he stole April from her. April didn't even realize what was happening. The girls always used to shoot up together. One day, suddenly, Maureen got replaced.
Maureen was alone.
That was why this day was so special.
Roger actually had gone to a gig without April. April had cried, because every time that happened it meant Roger was shooting up and fucking other girls. Maureen held her while she cried. Then they found themselves making out on the couch.
It seemed like everything was fine.
When April got AIDS, she was with Roger.
When April found out she had AIDS, she was alone.
That was when she realized how much she had alienated Maureen. She couldn't tell Maureen about her death sentence. She couldn't.
When Maureen slid her hands up April's skirt, April locked herself in the bathroom. This wasn't something they could do together. April wouldn't let Maureen watch her body decay. She wouldn't put her through that suffering.
She thought if she did it fast, like a Band-Aid, it would hurt less.
Maureen begged to differ.
When Maureen found the body, she was devastated. She felt rejected. She blamed herself. She hadn't been a good enough friend. That was why April turned to Roger, why she was careless with her drugs.
Maureen wasn't even mentioned in the note.
Maureen ripped up the note.
All except for "we've got AIDS".
She wanted to destroy the loving words April had left for Roger. They were salt in the wound. She thought by ripping them up, their very existence would be forgotten. If only she hadn't read them first.
She left the body in the tub and went out drinking.
She didn't want Roger to blame her for letting April kill herself. She couldn't even forgive herself.
She stayed out for three weeks, sleeping in slushy snow and on grimy benches.
Mark found her passed out in a frozen alley. Her skin was blue.
He saved her.
She left him.