Hey all this is a deep fic about E+T. I cannot explain Eriol and Tomoyo because they are both unexplainable to me.
I don't own CCS!!!
Too Be Selfish
By MoshiMoshiQueen
"Talking"
~Thoughts~
~When I look into your eyes all I see is things that are unexplainable. How come you cry in side not letting it out? How come you are always sad but still happy that you loved one is happy? I thought I knew it all until I met you. You with your white porcelain skin and grayish hair, with your dark eyes pleading for understandment. Dearest Tomoyo-san why do hide your sadness? Thought Eriol. ~
Eriol jumped out of the tree he was thinking in at the moment.
He saw Tomoyo sitting at another tree. He walked up to her.
"Hello Tomoyo-san."
She looked at Eriol and frowned.
"I know you were hoping to see Sakura-san but she is not coming she is off with my cute descendent." Tomoyo's eyes filled with shock and torment.
She looked at Eriol again this time with pain in her eyes. She tried hard to keep her tears in but she could not hold them any longer.
"I know that you love her Tomoyo-san and that your happiness is her happiness but don't you deserve to be happy as well?"
Tomoyo looked at him again. She wiped her tears.
"True friends never stop to think about their feelings before their best friends feelings."
"Tomoyo-san you are very wise but a true friend would never want her best friend to live in any pain."
"As long as she is happy I am happy."
"Why do you lie to me Tomoyo? You are not just lying to me but to Sakura-san and to your self. It is good to be selfish once and a while. So be selfish Tomoyo and get up and come with me."
Tomoyo was a little shocked by his words but she got up and took his hand.
"Tomoyo-san look over there to you see that lake."
"Yes."
"Now look at how deep it is." she looked down at the lake. She saw her reflection it was not the Tomoyo she knew. This Tomoyo had redness around her eyes. Her eyes we a light grayish color with no shin like it use to have. Her skin was much paler color. She looked sick like.
Tomoyo looked at Eriol again
"Is that what a friend does for another friends happiness?" Asked Eriol.
"I…I don't know."
"Tomoyo-san I thought I knew everything but I do not as I have found out. I may be wise for my age. But I unlike other kids I have never been a kid; I have never felt love or friendship. These feelings of child hood and love are not apart of me. I do not even know if I feel love."
Tomoyo looked at him with remorse
"Please Tomoyo-san I do not want to see you with that pain in your eyes. How come you cannot be happy?"
"Because I don't have…" she started to tremble.
"Sakura-san?" asked Eriol.
"es."
"Tomoyo-san it is about to rain" said Eriol getting up.
"Your house is way to far away come on lets go."
Tomoyo followed thinking about what he had said to her.
Tomoyo sat down at the table still looking like she on a trance.
"Tomoyo-san here." Said Eriol giving her a cup of tea.
"Thank you."
"You still have that pain in your eyes Tomoyo-san," said Eriol drinking his tea.
"Well I most confess that I do not know how to get rid of it Eriol-san."
Eriol drunk the rest of his tea.
"I still do not understand you Tomoyo-san."
"Nor do I understand you Eriol-san."
"Yes we are indescribable people Tomoyo-san. Not even our selves know us."
"I know my self." Said Tomoyo
"You do not Tomoyo-san; if you knew your self then you would know that you do not love Sakura-san right now."
Tomoyo looked at Eriol
"And how would you know what I feel?" She said with pain in her voice.
"By your eyes Tomoyo-san, it is all in your eye. The pain, sorrow, love, loneliness. It is all there."
"Your eyes show the same as mine." said Tomoyo with bitterness in her voice.
Eriol looked at Tomoyo who was crying so much now that her teacup was filled with her tears.
Eriol walked up and took Tomoyo's hands.
"Tomoyo do you see what you are doing to your self? Let go of Sakura-san." Tomoyo looked in Eriol's eyes. They we filled with concern and pain.
"I want… I want."
Eriol kissed her passionately. They felt each other's pain, sorrow and love.
They pulled apart
"I want you Eriol. I want you. I want you to love me. I want you to take away my pain and sorrow."
Eriol looked at Tomoyo ~do I love her? What is love? ~
Tomoyo saw Eriol's questioning eyes
She kissed him passionately.
"Eriol I am going to be selfish. I am not going to think for your feelings I am only going to think of mine at this time." Eriol looked at her he knew that he wanted her but did he love her.
"I don't care about love Eriol. I just want you. I want nothing more than that. I want to look in the mirror and see the Tomoyo I use to know. Eriol can you do that for me please? Please bring the old Tomoyo back. Eriol let me be selfish for once. Let me have you for one night Eriol."
Eriol kissed Tomoyo once again but with more feeling in it then last time.
Tomoyo woke up wrapped in a white sheet naked. She looked beside her. She remembered what happened. She remembered how it felt to have his hand touch her.
Eriol opened his eyes and looked into Tomoyo's who were now a shinning grayish color filled with life and happiness.
"We truly do not know are selves Tomoyo-san." Said Eriol.
"Eriol I know who I am because of you and I know you know your self right now. But can't we just stop right now. Can't we just no worry about sadness or pain? Eriol please I just don't want to be the only one who is selfish. I want you to be selfish with me. I want you to stay with me and I with you. I love you Eriol and I don't care if you don't love me back because I know you Eriol, I know you inside and out and I can live knowing that I had you for one night. But I would like to have you for more."
Eriol looked at Tomoyo and the said.
"I too want to be selfish Tomoyo I too want to be selfish."
Well how did you all like it?? I put my own feeling into this fic. I too feel sort of like Tomoyo and Eriol. I am wise for my age and I too can't explain what love is even tho I have felt it once in my live. I love the couple E+T because no one can really explain them. Please R+R!!!
From MoshiMoshiQueen