"Narsus!"
"Shagad!"
Both exclaimed, a smile on both of their faces as they greeted each other.
"It's been so long since I last saw you."
Shagad joked, he did like to joke around from time to time with Narsus and it seemed obvious that his blond friend did the same in return. It was like a show of their affection towards each other and as usual, Narsus spoke the truth in his own humorous way.
"Nonsense, it has only been a day."
Both of them laughed, patting each other's backs lightly. Shagad wasn't going to say anything yet, there was something on his mind he wanted to express but what was on his relative's mind was completely different. What they did together, their actions and also - the steamy moments they had with women.
Shagad's verdigris hues gazed at Narsus' iris hues, their eyes locked for a moment then looked away afterwards. Silence only filled between them two, the darker blond wrapped his arm around his relative's shoulder and nudged his head over towards two pretty women. It was no secret that Shagad was more favoured in women than Narsus, but it hadn't bothered anyone in most ways.
While Narsus preferred to sleep with single women or those within the brothel's, Shagad had favoured wives. He knew how concerned and worried Narsus was about him, how he may end up getting caught by these women's husbands and want to kill him. He hadn't gotten caught and nor would he - ever. That was the kind of smug thoughts Shagad had that would end him in trouble; one day.
A smile came upon the women's faces as they saw two handsome, tall men approach them. As usual, Shagad's slick words got to them. One woman was single and interested in Narsus and the other had been newly married. Her husband had been away for quite some time and wanted some company from a younger man.
It seemed almost perfect, chances for their preference for these two to be friends. It seemed almost rare!
Away the two went, pleasing these women, seeing them happy and relieved and in return, was the same. Their own satisfaction while no cares were given as the two departed from their choice of home stayed. Yet even after, something was amiss. It was written all over his face, someone was bound to notice.
"What seems to be the matter, Shagad? Did that not satisfy you? It hardly seems like you."
Narsus was right, he could pick it up even if his relative wasn't frowning. He would guess what it was eventually, they have known each other for so long, it wouldn't be hard to not detect what was on the other's mind.
Narsus' words seemed to be partly true, yes, the session did but- it was something else. Shagad thought it was best to push it aside and laugh gently, not wanting to make him worry.
"It has, you know me better than it won't. Come on, aren't you hungry?"
His minded needed off of whatever he was feeling deep down, what was stirring and making him...jealous? Envious? Angry? Shagad couldn't really tell at this point and needed more time to think, needed to figure out what it was.
"You know I am," Narsus smiles more. His hand placed around his relative's, "as I recall, it is your turn to pay."
Of course, that was how it usually was. It was most easy for either to not waste their gold so quickly.
The next day, Shagad decided to distant himself from Narsus for a while. The whole day was strange and Narsus knew not what to do. He was concerned and could see something bothered him but wasn't going to talk about it. He wanted to ask, why didn't he talk to him about this. Why couldn't he just be honest as they always have been with each other?
"Narsus," Shagad called out as he paused there. Seeing the darker blond man's tracks stop. "Yes?"
He had a feeling he wanted to finally to tell him what was concerning him.
"What is that feeling when you want someone, but can't? A feeling that stirs inside that wants to yell and express their inner emotions but only to feel pain."
"What you are feeling is envy," Narsus paused. He wondered what brought such a topic up then chuckled. Placing a hand on Shagad's shoulder.
"Don't tell me you're in love with a soldier's wife? You know that is not like you; neither of us."
Shagad chuckled after, Narsus sure came to quite the conclusion and yet, perhaps that was it? How could he envy Narsus when he didn't belong to anyone. When telling him his inner feelings would likely return with a laugh as if it were a joke.
He couldn't tell Narsus the truth, what he was really feeling inside, deep down. Envy and love, was it? It had to be, it was really the only proper explanation he could really get out of all of this, out of the times he spent with his relative, but how did he feel?
Narsus enjoyed Shagad's company, everything they did together, he loved every moment and was when he felt happiest. It felt like they were the only two people in the world, not a care about anyone else besides each other. The times they played together when they were younger, their days in the Royal Academy where he played his pranks, made Narsus laugh more than he ever had. Despite at times, he was convinced to skip school from time to time, their troubles had them both stay after class no matter how boring it may have seemed.
They always had each other, they always turned to each other and gazed for a moment and grinned after. Their hands held but soon that became a faded memory. They were grown men now, "I'll always have you, won't I, Narsus?"
Shagad asked, a faint smile upon his lips when staring at his relative. While Narsus had picked up on this, it was amiss - but he couldn't put his finger on it.
"Why of course, I'll always be here for you. I'll always have your back, as I have in the past."
Narsus smiled that same smile that brightened him up whenever he felt down or discouraged by their teacher from school times. Sometimes the two had many other boys, older than them feeling jealous and angry, teasing them about their looks but in the end - they were showed up. Shagad and Narsus excelled, their skills higher than the others who only knew how to put others down. It impressed girls their age, the other boy's hated it but could never get themselves to beat them up.
They knew it wouldn't prove anything and only in class would it do so.
Shagad could only smile in return, he trusts Narsus knowing they'll have each other's backs, no matter what. Silent, his fist clutched and grabbed Narsus by the collars of his robes and dragged him into a secluded alleyway. Small and dark as it was, it didn't bother him. Narsus was going to get a taste of it, of how he felt.
Whatever was to happen next, he didn't care. If Narsus wanted this moment to be put behind him, he would. They'd still have each other.
Narsus' eyes widened as he was dragged into the alleyway, his back roughly placed onto the wall, hands unsure where to even be. He felt what was happening and was lost for words, Shagad's lips pressed to Narsus. His hands placed on Shagad's chest and pushed him away, he was shocked by what happened. It was a strange feeling to have another man's lips on his own.
Immediately, Narsus' hand retracted to cover his lips. He didn't know what was up with Shagad at first but then realised what this was. Why Shagad was asking these questions and feelings to him, why he didn't seem like himself. He was silent and watched Shagad sink deep into sadness, he never thought he felt this way about him before.
"Shagad, if that was all you wanted. You should've asked."
His eyes widened when hearing his relative's words. Did that also mean Narsus felt the same? Or did he take pity on him because of what happened, did he know sometimes Shagad was unstable and didn't comprehend what was happening? Shagad's head turned to face Narsus, his hand raised and reached out to be placed on his shoulder then rose up to be placed upon his cheek. Compassionate smile as he stared at his relative to be returned with the same.
Their eyes staring once again, "Shagad, you were never able to hide your emotions as well as I could. I did not want you to feel uncomfortable if I took control first, for had I, I know you will become distant of me. You know I care deeply about you and love you, I'd never do anything to hurt you."
It made his heart beat fast, how happy he was to learn of this, to know Narsus will always stay beside him no matter what.
"Narsus," Shagad whispered as he leant in to kiss him once again. Narsus' hands wrapped around his relative as he accepted it. Delighted for both men to have each other, to have this moment they can remember. A memory that they will both dwell on for long.
Their kiss heated up more as Shagad took control and used his tongue, his eyes closed. Hands moving from Narsus' cheeks down to his neck then to undress him. Narsus, pulling away then looked away. They weren't anywhere secluded and knew they could risk getting caught, having someone spot them. What they were doing was a shame, but this needed to be hid.
"I apologise Narsus," Shagad replied. Parting himself away from his relative, clearing his throat and looked away. His head turning back to him afterwards and gently smiled.
"If you'd like, perhaps we head back to my home?"
Narsus nodded his head as he and Shagad headed back to resume what they were doing, allowing Shagad to take control of this first. Such a heated and passionate moment between the two felt euphoric. Resting beside each other, gazing into one another's eyes and a light exhale following afterwards.
"Shagad, I'm quite happy you showed your affection towards me. I'm truly thankful for this."
It made him smile more, his cheeks flush and closed his eyes with his hand intertwined with Narsus'.
"Thank you, Narsus. You've made me rather happy."
Narsus had smiled as well, his eyes closed as he kept himself close to his relative, getting a good night's sleep following the warmth of Shagad beside him and once again in the morning. A kiss shared by the two.