For Your Added Culinary Pleasure
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Daria or any of its characters. Or the song "I Must Be Emo." Or Popcorn Chicken.
As usual, Jane let the microwave beep three times before opening the door. She removed the baked potato and set it down on the kitchen table.
"Hey Dar." She said to her best friend.
"Pass the butter spread and cheese from the fridge could ya?"
Daria did so. "So." Said Daria.
"What are you going to do about Johnny Fielderman?"
Johnny Fielderman was the new kid at school. He had been pestering Jane for dates for about three weeks. He had also been writing her what he thought were very deep and meaningful love poems. Jane grunted in response.
"You know what he reminds me of?" asked Daria. "What?" answered Jane. "I'm dark and sensitive, with low self-esteem." She sang. "The way I dress makes every day seem like Halloween!"
Jane laughed. "Yeah, it's like that song was written for him." She put a huge hunk of butter on the potato and covered it with three handfuls of cheese.
"I don't know." She said. "I've been rejecting him every day. He just doesn't get the message." Daria raised an eyebrow. "Have you seen his sister though?" she asked.
"Yeah, Matilda." Answered Jane, with a wide grin. She made an obscene gesture with her tongue and the index and middle fingers on her left hand.
"God." Sighed Daria. "What I'd like to do to her." Jane nodded. "Mmm…" She opened the oven door and removed a bowl of popcorn chicken. It was left over from last night. She proceeded to pour the chicken over her potato. Then she put on another hunk of butter and three more handfuls of cheese. She topped it all off with a grind of coarse salt. Then she put the plate in the microwave. For three minutes.
"Oh, by the way." Said Daria. "Did you hear about what happened to Quinn?" Jane tilted her head. "No. What?"
"You won't believe me but here goes. I heard my Mom talking to her friend on the phone last night. Quinn has an STD!!!" Jane's jaw dropped. "No way!" she breathed.
"Yeah." Replied Daria. "She has all these little insects crawling all over her girl patch. She's been awake all night scratching." Jane laughed like a villain in a really corny movie.
"Aw, that really is too bad. Now Scott Heany won't get his daily honey fix."
Daria snorted. "What's funny is, I think she has this thing from what she was doing with his older brother Stan. She was moaning like crazy in her room last week. I couldn't sleep." She said, annoyed.
"Wait." Said Jane. "You've been here for an hour. Why did you wait this long to tell me?"
Daria smirked. "I got distracted by watching your tits bounce when you reached for the microwave." She answered, with extreme sarcasm.
Jane opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the microwave beeping. Again she waited for it to beep three times.
She removed the plate and once again put it on the table. It was now a buttery mass, with a three inch layer of melted cheese.
She pulled a fork from the holder and shoved a chunk of her creation into her mouth.
"I'm starving…" she groaned.
Daria wrinkled her nose.
"Nice."
She grabbed another fork.
THE END.
I know- It sucks!!! But I was bored. Reviewers will get their honey tasted :P