My mother always loved taking pictures especially pictures of me. Ever since I can remember, she never once missed an event of mine from my elementary school graduation to when I peed myself in class and she had to pick me up early. I still don't know why she had taken a photo of that embarrassing moment, but she did and she did it all while trying to hide her goofy smile.
Then one day it all made sense.
We were driving home one evening from having a celebratory dinner since it was the last day of school and summer had officially started. My mother was a high school teacher so it was technically a celebration for both of us.
Her phone suddenly went off. "Can you check whose calling?"
"It's an unknown number," I answered. "011-82-2…"
That's when everything went black and the sound of metal crushing rung loudly in my ears.
The pain shot through my body like a wild rollercoaster and woke me up. Everything was blurry, but after a couple seconds my vision adjusted and I realized that I was in a hospital room. My head was thumping wildly while my muscles were too sore to try and move. Slowly turning to my left, I notice a man asleep in the small arm chair beside me. He looked uncomfortable since the chair was obviously too small for his long legs. I couldn't recognize who he was.
Suddenly a nurse came in and she smiled brightly at me. She checked the small machine to my right and scribbled something on the clipboard in her hands.
I used all my strength to pull on her top, "M-m-my mother…"
Her bright smile immediately disappeared. Without answering, she gently returned my hand to my side before waking up the unknown man.
He jolted awake. His eyes were warm yet tired. The wrinkles surrounding them were an indicator of long hours of work and little sleep. No wonder he had fallen asleep. "You're awake," he said concerned.
He was speaking in Korean.
"M-mom, where is she…" The words managed to spill out of my dry throat. It was the only question I had running in my head.
Just like the nurse his facial expression changed. "Your mother…"
Do you ever have those moments when the world seems to slow down, but you're mind continues to run wild? It was happening right at this moment as he explained the accident. A semi- truck had passed a red light and t-boned us. The driver side received most of the impact and my mother took her last breath inside the ambulance on the way to the hospital. She died without me by her side.
"Jin, are you okay?" The stranger was oddly concerned with my welfare.
"Who are you?" I asked wanting to leave my mother's death in the back of my mind for now. The moment I'm left alone, I'll burst into tears and break down, but right now I'm fine. I'm teetering over a cliff, but I'm fine.
He collected his thoughts and his expressions. His eyes were red and puffy which meant he had been mourning for my mother already. "I'm Kim Won. I'm your father…"
He took my silence as a signal to continue his story.
"Your mother she called me about a couple months ago asking to meet," he said without meeting my eyes. "She told me everything then. That we had a child."
"I'm tired," my hoarse voice echoed. I couldn't handle all of this information right now and my mother had died, but I couldn't find the strength to say all of that.
The underlying message reached him since he stood up and awkwardly looked around the dark hospital room. "I'm going to the cafeteria then. If you need anything just press the call button and a nurse will come right away."
I looked out the window wanting this conversation to end as quickly as possible. I wanted my mom by side, but that was never going to happen because she was gone and I was alone.