Goth vs. Ditz
By: Gwen
Disclaimer: They're not mine? Damn it...
A/N: Man, I need a longer disclaimer. Even the idea wasn't mine. My mom, the biology teacher, had a cheerleader and a goth girl in her class actually make this bet. Ah, well...So I'm not original. I'll live, right?
Rogue and Kitty were arguing. Again. Kurt and Evan were peering around the doorframe, watching in impressed and apprehensive silence.
"Just 'cause ah'm goth doesn't mean that ya can go an' insult me!" Rogue shouted.
"Just 'cause I'm, like, trying to be popular doesn't mean that you can, like, make fun of me!" Kitty screamed back.
"Bitch!" Rogue yelled.
"Bitch yourself!" Kitty shrieked.
Kurt winced, their screams penetrating his sensitive ears. Just then, Kitty stepped up and slapped Rogue. Rogue responded by slapping Kitty. Kitty then slapped Rogue again. So Rogue, tiring of being slapped, punched Kitty in the stomach. Kitty yelped and doubled over.
Just then, Jean walked up.
"What's happening?" she asked.
"Shhh. Rogue und Kitty are in a fight. It's very amusing. Vatch und zee for yourself," he stage-whispered, motioning for Jean to come closer.
She did. Just then, a challenge was uttered that could very well change the course of history for the X-Men for all of eternity.
"Well, ah bet that you couldn't go goth for a day!" Rogue shouted.
"Yeah, like, I bet that you couldn't, like, go prep for a day!" Kitty shouted back.
"Yeah, well, ah'll take that bet!"
"Yeah, like, so will I!"
The two stalked out of the room and in opposite directions. Scott walked up to Kitty.
"Hey, Kitty! How's it going?" he said, smiling.
"Bugger off Scott," she growled, brushing past him.
"Whoa! What's the matter with her?" he asked, walking up to the rest of our favorite eavesdropping group.
"Rogue und Kitty, they, uh, had a fight," Kurt volunteered. "Veeeery interesting," Kurt said, filling Scott in on the bet.
"I can't wait to see this," Evan smirked, rubbing his hands together. "Anybody want to take bets?"
"Evan!" Jean yelped. "You know that gambling is illegal!"
"Fifteen says that Kitty bails out half-way through the day," Scott said.
"I vill put twenty-five down for both succeeding through ze school day." Kurt said.
"Including extracurricular activities," Scott put in. Kurt nodded.
"Well, if everybody's doing it...Twenty says that both bail out before school tomorrow," Jean shrugged.
"Cool," Evan said as everybody dug out their wallets and handed him the money.
***
The next day, shrieks rang through the drafty halls of the Xavier Institute. Kurt jerked and fell out of bed, clutching at his pillow. Quickly pulling on some clothes, he bamfed downstairs to the breakfast hall, right next to several full-length mirrors. Seeing his tangled hair, he rapidly combed it out with his fingers.
Then, he noticed the two figures next to him.
"Ahhh!" he yelped, shrinking against the wall. "Vat the hell are you?!"
The two girls advanced on one another, ignoring him.
"You, like, made me up like some vampire!" one shouted as Jean came down the stairs.
"Well, ah look like some cheerleader!" the other yelled.
"Hey!" Jean shouted.
"No offense, Jean," Rogue said, "but there is no way ah'm going to school looking like this!"
"Me either. I'm, like, trying to develop a reputation, you know?" Kitty pouted.
"Yes! I win the bet!" Jean shouted.
"Hey, bub, ya kids are bettin'?" Logan growled, "walking" in with Storm and Professor Xavier.
"Nein!" Kurt said, sidling over to where Evan and Scott where coming over. "Logan alert. Shut up on ze bet, ja?"
"Got it," Evan whispered back.
"What are you kids whispering about?" Storm asked.
"Nothing!" Kurt shouted, bamfing away.
"Uhhh, what he said," everybody else said in unison, running out.
***
Later that morning, as everybody hung out at their lockers before fourth period, Kurt sidled up to Kitty and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Huh?" she said, turning around.
"Just for ze record, you look veeery nice goth," he whispered, smirking.
"Kurt!" she exclaimed, swatting him away. Kurt grinned.
"Stick it out, Kitty, ja?"
Kurt slinked off and sidled up behind Rogue.
"Just for ze record, you look veeery nice prep," he whispered, smirking.
"Kurt!" she exclaimed. "An' what exactly are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in math class or summat?"
"Ja. But it is more fun to tease you two," he said. "By ze by, I have twenty-five bucks riding on this, zo, please, please, please stick zis out, ja?"
"You're betting on this?!" Rogue shouted, slamming her locker and turning around.
"Uhhhh...ja?"
"So, how'd you go?"
"I bet zat you both could do it?"
"Good. Ya'll win, man."
Kurt smiled and waved, running off to his next class as the bell started ringing. Rogue sighed, shaking her head and smiling.
***
Our favorite TV show's cast gathers in the Bayville High cafeteria.
"You'd think the Brotherhood would've, like, bothered us by now," Kitty said, looking around.
Just then, Pietro zipped up, followed by a slower Lance and Todd.
"Great going, Kitty," Kurt sighed, shaking his head.
"You know Kitty, you look nice goth. You should leave fuzzball over there and come to me and the Brotherhood. Mostly me, though," Lance said, smirking at the pissed off Kurt.
"Icksome! Why do people, like, keep telling me that?" Kitty sighed.
"'Cause it's true, Kitty," Kurt said, glaring at Lance. "Although zome vould use ze fact to zeir advantage, ja?"
"Hey, Wagner, why would she want you when she could have me? I'm the coolest evil stud around. You're a do-good demon freak," Lance said. He reached over and snatched the watch off Kurt's wrist. Luckily, no one was looking towards their sheltered table in a corner.
"Damn you," Kurt muttered. He crouched down behind the table, on the lookout for other people.
"Why-don't-you-just-teleport-out-Nightcrawler-hm?" Pietro asked.
"You know very vell vhy. Someone vill zee me. Look at it zis vay. I get caught, zey find out about ze Institute. Zey find out about ze Institute, it's only a matter of time before zey find out about the Brotherhood, nein ?"
Pietro grabbed it and threw it to Kurt. Kurt buckled it on and re- activated it.
'I don't have enough problems? If ze zing is not on ze fritz, it is being stolen or lost or demanded by teachers," he grumbled.
"Well-gotta-run-We-gotta-meet-with-Mystique-Secret-mission-very- interesting-See-ya!" with that, Pietro dashed off.
"Well, see ya Kitty. You too, 'Crawler. The difference will be, I won't bash Kitty's face in," he said, walking off.
"Vell, vell, vhat an intelligent comeback," Kurt shot back. "At least our collective I.Q.s are not in ze negative region."
"Judging from your math grades, that may not be true," Jean said primly.
"Vell, I do have math class first zing in ze morning. I still need to catch up on my sleep zen."
"Well, it looks like three more periods and Kurt wins the bet," Scott sighed.
"Vell, it looks like three more periods und I vill be rich," Kurt grinned. "Even I can do ze math."
***
"Well, like, I'm almost out of here alive, you know?" Kitty remarked to Jean as they walked down the halls. "Just drama club practice with Rouge and then I am so, like, out of this stuff!"
"Didn't you guys know that today were the yearbook pictures for the drama club?" Jean asked, brandishing her camera.
"Oh my Gawd!" Kitty shrieked. "You're kidding me, aren't you?"
Jean shook her head as Kitty collapsed in the middle of the hallway.
"Vhat happened to her?" Kurt asked, walking up.
"I'm guessing they didn't know that yearbook pictures for the drama club were being taken today."
"Vell, und I guess zat I forgot to mention zat point," Kurt smirked. "Even if zey both bail out, I still have ze pictures, ja?" he finished, patting the digital camera in his pocket.
"Kurt, I'm going to, like, kill you, you know?!" Kitty shrieked.
"I can't hear you," Kurt said, pointing to his ears. "You've shrieked zo much today zat I can't hear a zing."
Evan walked up at the string of dire threats Kitty was threatening Kurt. To Evan's surprise, Kurt just stood there with a calm expression on his face. When Kurt noticed Evan staring at his peaceful expression, Kurt gestured to his ears.
"Kitty, she has been shrieking zo much today zat I cannot hear a zing," Kurt said loudly.
Evan grinned at this. "Well, at least Logan isn't here. He'd flip his lid."
"What about my problem?!" Kitty yelled.
"Just bail out," Jean said.
"I can't," Kitty wailed. "Then Rogue'd win and I'll be stuck sharing a room with a gloating Rogue for all of eternity. Why did I, like, get stuck with the roommate from hell?!"
"Haven't you figured it out?" Evan asked. "None of us have roommates. The Prof just wants your constant and annoyingly perky valley-girl attitude to coax Rogue out of her brooding and anti-social tendencies."
"Shut UP Evan," Kitty growled.
Evan took one look at Kitty's face and started off.
"I'll show you ze pictures!" Kurt shouted after him. Evan flashed a thumbs up and ran out of the building.
"Kurt, if you, like, take pictures, I will so totally kill you," Kitty threatened.
"Hmmm. Maybe I'll just do it zo zat you cannot zee."
"You wouldn't dare."
"Maybe I vould," Kurt said, walking off. "Zee ya."
"Well, are you going?" Jean asked, ready to leave.
"Of course! Rogue would gloat for, like, forever if I did!"
"Well, then let's go."
***
Kurt grinned as he perched upon a dark ledge in the back of the drama room. He had run there and climbed up the wall to get the best possible view of Rogue and Kiitty before they saw him. He had taken the precaution of turning the hologram off so he was virtually invisible in the darkness. He almost laughed out loud as he saw the club line up for pictures, snapping shot after shot until he was out of disk space. He then sat back and enjoyed the rest of the show.
He was almost asleep by the time that Kitty noticed him. After everybody but Rogue and Jean had filed out, chatting and laughing, she phased up to the ledge where Kurt was sitting. Sneaking up behind him, she shouted "Like, BOO!"
Kurt jerked and fell off the ledge.
"No fair! You snuck up behind me!"
"Kurt, you weren't, like, taking pictures! Were you?" Kitty shouted after seeing the camera that fell out of Kurt's pocket.
"Uhh...nein?"
"Kurt! I'm going to, like, so kill you!"
Jean and Rogue watched as Kitty chased after Kurt, Kurt climbing the walls as Kitty phased up after him. As they neared the doors, Jean telekinetically turned Kurt's holowatch on as they tore out the doors and down the hall. Kitty stopped, out of breath, as she neared a group of her friends. Kurt continued running down the hall, turning around at the doors.
"Zee you at ze Institute Kitty!" He shouted, waving before exiting the building.
"Oh my God, he is, like, so dreamy!" one of Kitty's friends chirped and the rest of the group, except for Kitty, agreed with her.
"You are, like, so lucky to live with him at that mansion place!"
"Yeah, well you try, like, living with him and see if you think he's so dreamy then," Kitty huffed. "I'll give you he's cute, but..."
"He's also, like, the best dancer ever and the best gymnast on the team!" one of her friends swooned.
"Ugh. Whatever."
***
Kurt was sitting at the computer in the rec room before dinner, uploading the pictures from the camera.
"Hey, bub, whatcha looking at?" Logan growled, walking in.
"Just zome pictures," Kurt said distractedly, waving Logan forward. "Vanna zee?"
Logan took one look and immediately burst out laughing. Everybody except Kitty and Rogue, who were still in the showers trying to wash away all the makeup, walked in.
"Logan! We've been looking for you," Storm said. "Where've you been all day?"
"Never mind that," Logan said. "Here's what the kids were up to today." The group clustered around the computer, taking one look and bursting into laughter.
Kitty and Rouge then walked in, both still with damp hair.
"What're ya'll looking at?" Rogue asked.
"Kurt! You, like, didn't!" Kitty shrieked in the most high pitched voice yet that day. Everybody winced, and Kurt and Logan were practically rolling around on the floor at the hideous noise.
"Uhhh...nein, I didn't," Kurt said, rapidly closing the computer and grabbing his precious disk.
"What'd he do?" Rogue asked Kitty.
"He, like, took pictures of us, you know?" Kitty yelled.
"No!" Rogue gasped.
"Like, yeah!" Kitty responded.
"Kurt, you better hope that the money you won will pay of the medical bills you'll be racking up. Even bamfing can't get you out of this one for long," Scott remarked dryly.
"Vell, thanks for ze moral zupport," Kurt said sarcastically as the girls started after him.
1 The End
By: Gwen
Disclaimer: They're not mine? Damn it...
A/N: Man, I need a longer disclaimer. Even the idea wasn't mine. My mom, the biology teacher, had a cheerleader and a goth girl in her class actually make this bet. Ah, well...So I'm not original. I'll live, right?
Rogue and Kitty were arguing. Again. Kurt and Evan were peering around the doorframe, watching in impressed and apprehensive silence.
"Just 'cause ah'm goth doesn't mean that ya can go an' insult me!" Rogue shouted.
"Just 'cause I'm, like, trying to be popular doesn't mean that you can, like, make fun of me!" Kitty screamed back.
"Bitch!" Rogue yelled.
"Bitch yourself!" Kitty shrieked.
Kurt winced, their screams penetrating his sensitive ears. Just then, Kitty stepped up and slapped Rogue. Rogue responded by slapping Kitty. Kitty then slapped Rogue again. So Rogue, tiring of being slapped, punched Kitty in the stomach. Kitty yelped and doubled over.
Just then, Jean walked up.
"What's happening?" she asked.
"Shhh. Rogue und Kitty are in a fight. It's very amusing. Vatch und zee for yourself," he stage-whispered, motioning for Jean to come closer.
She did. Just then, a challenge was uttered that could very well change the course of history for the X-Men for all of eternity.
"Well, ah bet that you couldn't go goth for a day!" Rogue shouted.
"Yeah, like, I bet that you couldn't, like, go prep for a day!" Kitty shouted back.
"Yeah, well, ah'll take that bet!"
"Yeah, like, so will I!"
The two stalked out of the room and in opposite directions. Scott walked up to Kitty.
"Hey, Kitty! How's it going?" he said, smiling.
"Bugger off Scott," she growled, brushing past him.
"Whoa! What's the matter with her?" he asked, walking up to the rest of our favorite eavesdropping group.
"Rogue und Kitty, they, uh, had a fight," Kurt volunteered. "Veeeery interesting," Kurt said, filling Scott in on the bet.
"I can't wait to see this," Evan smirked, rubbing his hands together. "Anybody want to take bets?"
"Evan!" Jean yelped. "You know that gambling is illegal!"
"Fifteen says that Kitty bails out half-way through the day," Scott said.
"I vill put twenty-five down for both succeeding through ze school day." Kurt said.
"Including extracurricular activities," Scott put in. Kurt nodded.
"Well, if everybody's doing it...Twenty says that both bail out before school tomorrow," Jean shrugged.
"Cool," Evan said as everybody dug out their wallets and handed him the money.
***
The next day, shrieks rang through the drafty halls of the Xavier Institute. Kurt jerked and fell out of bed, clutching at his pillow. Quickly pulling on some clothes, he bamfed downstairs to the breakfast hall, right next to several full-length mirrors. Seeing his tangled hair, he rapidly combed it out with his fingers.
Then, he noticed the two figures next to him.
"Ahhh!" he yelped, shrinking against the wall. "Vat the hell are you?!"
The two girls advanced on one another, ignoring him.
"You, like, made me up like some vampire!" one shouted as Jean came down the stairs.
"Well, ah look like some cheerleader!" the other yelled.
"Hey!" Jean shouted.
"No offense, Jean," Rogue said, "but there is no way ah'm going to school looking like this!"
"Me either. I'm, like, trying to develop a reputation, you know?" Kitty pouted.
"Yes! I win the bet!" Jean shouted.
"Hey, bub, ya kids are bettin'?" Logan growled, "walking" in with Storm and Professor Xavier.
"Nein!" Kurt said, sidling over to where Evan and Scott where coming over. "Logan alert. Shut up on ze bet, ja?"
"Got it," Evan whispered back.
"What are you kids whispering about?" Storm asked.
"Nothing!" Kurt shouted, bamfing away.
"Uhhh, what he said," everybody else said in unison, running out.
***
Later that morning, as everybody hung out at their lockers before fourth period, Kurt sidled up to Kitty and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Huh?" she said, turning around.
"Just for ze record, you look veeery nice goth," he whispered, smirking.
"Kurt!" she exclaimed, swatting him away. Kurt grinned.
"Stick it out, Kitty, ja?"
Kurt slinked off and sidled up behind Rogue.
"Just for ze record, you look veeery nice prep," he whispered, smirking.
"Kurt!" she exclaimed. "An' what exactly are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in math class or summat?"
"Ja. But it is more fun to tease you two," he said. "By ze by, I have twenty-five bucks riding on this, zo, please, please, please stick zis out, ja?"
"You're betting on this?!" Rogue shouted, slamming her locker and turning around.
"Uhhhh...ja?"
"So, how'd you go?"
"I bet zat you both could do it?"
"Good. Ya'll win, man."
Kurt smiled and waved, running off to his next class as the bell started ringing. Rogue sighed, shaking her head and smiling.
***
Our favorite TV show's cast gathers in the Bayville High cafeteria.
"You'd think the Brotherhood would've, like, bothered us by now," Kitty said, looking around.
Just then, Pietro zipped up, followed by a slower Lance and Todd.
"Great going, Kitty," Kurt sighed, shaking his head.
"You know Kitty, you look nice goth. You should leave fuzzball over there and come to me and the Brotherhood. Mostly me, though," Lance said, smirking at the pissed off Kurt.
"Icksome! Why do people, like, keep telling me that?" Kitty sighed.
"'Cause it's true, Kitty," Kurt said, glaring at Lance. "Although zome vould use ze fact to zeir advantage, ja?"
"Hey, Wagner, why would she want you when she could have me? I'm the coolest evil stud around. You're a do-good demon freak," Lance said. He reached over and snatched the watch off Kurt's wrist. Luckily, no one was looking towards their sheltered table in a corner.
"Damn you," Kurt muttered. He crouched down behind the table, on the lookout for other people.
"Why-don't-you-just-teleport-out-Nightcrawler-hm?" Pietro asked.
"You know very vell vhy. Someone vill zee me. Look at it zis vay. I get caught, zey find out about ze Institute. Zey find out about ze Institute, it's only a matter of time before zey find out about the Brotherhood, nein ?"
Pietro grabbed it and threw it to Kurt. Kurt buckled it on and re- activated it.
'I don't have enough problems? If ze zing is not on ze fritz, it is being stolen or lost or demanded by teachers," he grumbled.
"Well-gotta-run-We-gotta-meet-with-Mystique-Secret-mission-very- interesting-See-ya!" with that, Pietro dashed off.
"Well, see ya Kitty. You too, 'Crawler. The difference will be, I won't bash Kitty's face in," he said, walking off.
"Vell, vell, vhat an intelligent comeback," Kurt shot back. "At least our collective I.Q.s are not in ze negative region."
"Judging from your math grades, that may not be true," Jean said primly.
"Vell, I do have math class first zing in ze morning. I still need to catch up on my sleep zen."
"Well, it looks like three more periods and Kurt wins the bet," Scott sighed.
"Vell, it looks like three more periods und I vill be rich," Kurt grinned. "Even I can do ze math."
***
"Well, like, I'm almost out of here alive, you know?" Kitty remarked to Jean as they walked down the halls. "Just drama club practice with Rouge and then I am so, like, out of this stuff!"
"Didn't you guys know that today were the yearbook pictures for the drama club?" Jean asked, brandishing her camera.
"Oh my Gawd!" Kitty shrieked. "You're kidding me, aren't you?"
Jean shook her head as Kitty collapsed in the middle of the hallway.
"Vhat happened to her?" Kurt asked, walking up.
"I'm guessing they didn't know that yearbook pictures for the drama club were being taken today."
"Vell, und I guess zat I forgot to mention zat point," Kurt smirked. "Even if zey both bail out, I still have ze pictures, ja?" he finished, patting the digital camera in his pocket.
"Kurt, I'm going to, like, kill you, you know?!" Kitty shrieked.
"I can't hear you," Kurt said, pointing to his ears. "You've shrieked zo much today zat I can't hear a zing."
Evan walked up at the string of dire threats Kitty was threatening Kurt. To Evan's surprise, Kurt just stood there with a calm expression on his face. When Kurt noticed Evan staring at his peaceful expression, Kurt gestured to his ears.
"Kitty, she has been shrieking zo much today zat I cannot hear a zing," Kurt said loudly.
Evan grinned at this. "Well, at least Logan isn't here. He'd flip his lid."
"What about my problem?!" Kitty yelled.
"Just bail out," Jean said.
"I can't," Kitty wailed. "Then Rogue'd win and I'll be stuck sharing a room with a gloating Rogue for all of eternity. Why did I, like, get stuck with the roommate from hell?!"
"Haven't you figured it out?" Evan asked. "None of us have roommates. The Prof just wants your constant and annoyingly perky valley-girl attitude to coax Rogue out of her brooding and anti-social tendencies."
"Shut UP Evan," Kitty growled.
Evan took one look at Kitty's face and started off.
"I'll show you ze pictures!" Kurt shouted after him. Evan flashed a thumbs up and ran out of the building.
"Kurt, if you, like, take pictures, I will so totally kill you," Kitty threatened.
"Hmmm. Maybe I'll just do it zo zat you cannot zee."
"You wouldn't dare."
"Maybe I vould," Kurt said, walking off. "Zee ya."
"Well, are you going?" Jean asked, ready to leave.
"Of course! Rogue would gloat for, like, forever if I did!"
"Well, then let's go."
***
Kurt grinned as he perched upon a dark ledge in the back of the drama room. He had run there and climbed up the wall to get the best possible view of Rogue and Kiitty before they saw him. He had taken the precaution of turning the hologram off so he was virtually invisible in the darkness. He almost laughed out loud as he saw the club line up for pictures, snapping shot after shot until he was out of disk space. He then sat back and enjoyed the rest of the show.
He was almost asleep by the time that Kitty noticed him. After everybody but Rogue and Jean had filed out, chatting and laughing, she phased up to the ledge where Kurt was sitting. Sneaking up behind him, she shouted "Like, BOO!"
Kurt jerked and fell off the ledge.
"No fair! You snuck up behind me!"
"Kurt, you weren't, like, taking pictures! Were you?" Kitty shouted after seeing the camera that fell out of Kurt's pocket.
"Uhh...nein?"
"Kurt! I'm going to, like, so kill you!"
Jean and Rogue watched as Kitty chased after Kurt, Kurt climbing the walls as Kitty phased up after him. As they neared the doors, Jean telekinetically turned Kurt's holowatch on as they tore out the doors and down the hall. Kitty stopped, out of breath, as she neared a group of her friends. Kurt continued running down the hall, turning around at the doors.
"Zee you at ze Institute Kitty!" He shouted, waving before exiting the building.
"Oh my God, he is, like, so dreamy!" one of Kitty's friends chirped and the rest of the group, except for Kitty, agreed with her.
"You are, like, so lucky to live with him at that mansion place!"
"Yeah, well you try, like, living with him and see if you think he's so dreamy then," Kitty huffed. "I'll give you he's cute, but..."
"He's also, like, the best dancer ever and the best gymnast on the team!" one of her friends swooned.
"Ugh. Whatever."
***
Kurt was sitting at the computer in the rec room before dinner, uploading the pictures from the camera.
"Hey, bub, whatcha looking at?" Logan growled, walking in.
"Just zome pictures," Kurt said distractedly, waving Logan forward. "Vanna zee?"
Logan took one look and immediately burst out laughing. Everybody except Kitty and Rogue, who were still in the showers trying to wash away all the makeup, walked in.
"Logan! We've been looking for you," Storm said. "Where've you been all day?"
"Never mind that," Logan said. "Here's what the kids were up to today." The group clustered around the computer, taking one look and bursting into laughter.
Kitty and Rouge then walked in, both still with damp hair.
"What're ya'll looking at?" Rogue asked.
"Kurt! You, like, didn't!" Kitty shrieked in the most high pitched voice yet that day. Everybody winced, and Kurt and Logan were practically rolling around on the floor at the hideous noise.
"Uhhh...nein, I didn't," Kurt said, rapidly closing the computer and grabbing his precious disk.
"What'd he do?" Rogue asked Kitty.
"He, like, took pictures of us, you know?" Kitty yelled.
"No!" Rogue gasped.
"Like, yeah!" Kitty responded.
"Kurt, you better hope that the money you won will pay of the medical bills you'll be racking up. Even bamfing can't get you out of this one for long," Scott remarked dryly.
"Vell, thanks for ze moral zupport," Kurt said sarcastically as the girls started after him.
1 The End