"Xena.. What did I tell you about ME killing Batman! Ive already told your mother this a million times you don't do it!" The Joker yelled throwing the girl in a harlequin costume towards the door, "Now send your mother in." he said shooing Xena off into the other room. "mum... Dad wants to see you." Xena said falling back onto the couch. "Aw sweetie did big bad Mr.J hurt you?" All Xena could do was nod at her mother, "Why that lousy, scum sucking, monstrous, son of a..." Harley yelled as she ran into the Jokers office.
"Listen Here PUDDIN' Me and Xena are done with your abuse! we're going somewhere you'll never find us!" She yelled slamming the door as she left, "What?" Mr. j asked turning around on the chair to reveal he was on the phone. He shrugged it off and went back to whatever he was doing, "Come on sweetie were blowing this place. LITERALLY!" Harley whistled and signaled the hyenas too follow her. "Mm where are we going...?" Xena asked looking at her mom. "Arkham. I have a few friends i think would be excited to see us." She
said turning on the radio right in the middle of the song fun house by P!nk
"Its time to start the countdown I'm gonna burn it down down down. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1." The radio sang as Harley threw a joker bomb at the house. "Mr. j you were a crazy man... So you deserved a crazy death." Xena muttered. The joker was no longer her father, he was more like an old boss to her. "This used to be a fun house but now it's filled with evil clowns." the radio sang finishing the song shortly after.
++++At Arkham+++++
After doing some shopping together on the Jokers credit card, Harley now looked like her old self except for the fact she had black hair now. As for Xena, she had blonde hair with pink highlights. They had finally arrived at Arkham, smiling as relief soon took over. "Mum, look they're hiring." Xena said pointing to the sign. "Silly I already have a..." Harley trailed off, her Puddin was no longer there for her. "Mm no were sneaking in we both need to live up to our titles." She said walking off towards the asylum. Unlike some villain familys this family had gotten a name for itself, being known as "The Royal Clown Family Of Crime."
They snuck in easily since all the guards outside were off work today. "That was too easy for us." Harley muttered doing a cartwheel towards poison ivys cell. "Hey Red long time no see." Harley said putting a bomb onto the glass and blowing it into little shards. "Harley?" Ivy asked crawling out of the cell. "Yep! But it's not just me Xenas here to!" She smiled and moved over to show Xena "Hey Red." Xena said smiling, "Woah you two had a daughter? Weird... Why is she here? And why are you saving me?" Pam asked looking at the two. "Long story short we blew up Mr. Js house and need a place to stay." Harley said just as no other then the Joker rolled up in a wheelchair. "Harley..." He muttered in his sleep as the doctor took him to his cell, not noticing Poison Ivy and the girls with her. "Puddins thinking of me... Maybe we should break him out to..." Harley muttered looking at the Joker, "Harley... Save me..." He said once more in his sleep as Harley noticed there was no doctor with him anymore. "I got the doctor!" Xena said smiling like a Cheshire cat, she grabbed a heart shaped bomb and threw it at the other cells. "Time to cause enough havoc to get Mr. j out." She said as the cell glass broke.
Xena grabbed her mom and P.I and began to roll off on the wheelchair. "Whoo hoo!" She said as they rolled down the hill. "Wow she's defiantly you're kid. She's sure insane." Pam said looking at the small girl. "Harley..." The joker muttered once more "Aw Puddin' wake up." Harley said poking the jokers arm softly. "Harley?" he asked waking up, "Hello puddin" she said smiling at him. "YOU IDIOT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BLEW UP THE HOUSE!" he yelled at her as they continued rolling down the hill "Actually that was Xena... And I gave you fair warnin' didn't ya here me yell 'HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE DEATH PUDDIN!' because I did." The joker looked at the girl. "Fine, how's Xe doing? Still insane I hope." he said looking at his daughter, which, was fairly hard since she was pushing the handles bars of the wheelchair.
"I'm just gonna assume she's just as crazy as before." the Joker said crossing his arms. "Ow ow ow... It hurts..." he said looking at Harley "Aw Puddin let me fix it." Harley said kissing the Jokers arms. "Thank you boo." He smiled at her, "Uh you guys don't look now but *gulp* B-batman!" Xena said making the wheelchair stop. "Joker... I haven't seen you in... Twelve years since you gave up crime! I see you have a kid." He said pointing towards Xena. "Yo mr. B what's up?" She laughed nervously grabbing into her bag. "No need." Pam said pushing Xenas hand down. "what're you doing back in the asylum hm?" Batman asked smirking at the Joker "Oh um... Boo blew up the house so... They thought it was me. "Say.. Xena shouldn't you be in the asylum too?" Robin asked hoping out of the batmobile, "Hey cutie~ and no I'm not since of course being me, they can't lock me in since I'm a master at escape. Houdini eat your heart out!" She yelled into the air throwing a bomb towards the hero and sidekick.
"The royal clown family of crime lives on!" Xena yelled running off into the other direction. "Xe dear what're ya doin?" The joker asked nervously looking at the building they were about to run into, "Were gonna blow this place!" she said rolling the wheelchair up a ramp and over the asylum, making sure she dropped a bomb into it. What most people didn't know Xena Quinn had earned the title in Gotham as 'The Jester bomb of crime.' While along with her mother, earning herself the title 'The Jester Queen of crime.' and the Joker earning himself the name 'The used to be Clown prince of crime.'
Xena looked up and pulled to a complete stop. She back away terrified "B- bat..." she said silently looking at the pair of white eyes in the mask that stared back. "Huh? Xe whats wrong?" Harley asked looking in the direction she was looking in. "B-b-b-b-bat..." she said silently looking at the white eyes. The joker turned his head also. "Ts just batman nothing to be afraid about." he said smiling bigger then before.
Batman proceeded to grab the Joker by the collar of his shirt. "Ah Ah ah. Batman I've renovated my flower. The laughing gas is now a power booster for Xena!" He yelled spraying the flower everywhere, when suddenly Xena came up and kicked batsy in the face.
"Ha ha that's it Xen!" The Joker said his eyes became wide with excitement, "Xena honey leave the poor bat alone, we don't follow Mr. Js orders anymore." Harley said grabbing her daughter by the shoulder. "Now say your sorry." She said "I'm sorry." Xena said turning on her heels back to her dads wheelchair. "FOR THIS!" She yelled siting on the chair and throwing a bomb towards her parents and the heroes. "Suckers..." She muttered under her breath. Making a get away was easy for her, getting away from her father not so much.
Joker POV
My greatest work of art. She hurt me, I now what she's been feeling this whole entire time. Pain. The both of them... Ugh... I treat them so poorly... No wonder Xe kept a diary this whole entire time... To write her feelings down... "You idiot..." I muttered sitting up "My Xena.. You chased her away... You made her into a murderer... A true insane jester... I never wanted a life of crime for her but it's all your fault Batman." I said under my breath looking over and noticing robin and batman were gone.
"Harley where's the heroes?" I asked crawling over to my harlequin doll. "They got away before Xena threw the bomb..." She muttered into my ear. Shoot... They'll lock her up! Or they'll kill her! They'll take her away from us! I felt something in my eyes... Tears? What since when did I cry? Standing on my feet, I began to pace back and forth "Harley were going to go save Xena."
Batman POV
That girl belongs in an asylum, I mean I know she was raised by insane and abusive parents... But still! It's no excuse for how many people she's harmed or killed! Maybe I'll just take some pity and allow her to live with me. She could be my sidekick! Besides Robin of course.
Following close behind the girl, I began to let my mind wander away from these thoughts to thoughts of if Joker and Harley actually loved her and if they would miss her or if they would find her... No I can't let her go back to the mad house. I'll save her from this fate by locking up both her parents and allowing her to live with me.
Xena POV
I looked back seeing a black car following me. So I turned into the Forrest and ditched the wheelchair so I could run on foot. I mean i WOULD'VE gotten away if it wasn't for that stupid idiot batman! He had grabbed me by the arm and forced me to sit next to that devilishly han- Wait... I'm not allowed to like Robin! I don't have time for a relationship! I sighed looking around the batcave to see what I could play with. "Huh... Mr. B this computer is set up wrong." I said looking at the super computer he had. "See this goes here... This goes here and this goes here... And so you're computer is more secure and has voice analyzation..." I typed and dragged some stuff on the screen, finishing my work. "There it's fixed!" I said triumphantly throwing my fist in the air.
"What'd you do?" Bruce Wayne asked me, "Mr. b?" I asked looking at him "GAH your scary without your costume!" he laughed at me "S-stop it! Your laugh is creepy!" I said backing away a bit, he just continued t laugh. "Seriously you're scaring me!" I said flipping over his head. "Now what does Xendra Quinzeel look like with her costume and make up off hm?" he asked me "Just an ordinary girl." I said back "Hm well go get changed there's a set if clothes for you in your new room. Alfred will show you the way." He said motioning me off. New home... What? What about mom and dad? What will they do about me? Mom... Dad... Help I'm scared! I cried out in my mind as Alfred led me to my new room. "Thanks..." I muttered looking back as he shut the door.
I decided to keep my gloves on since I knew dad had installed trackers in them. Other then those I was wearing a dress that looked EXACTLY the same as my harlequin costume. Apparently I had to take off my make up too... I was scared of all the scars from dad slapping me... All the time he would say 'They'll go away you're beautiful without the make up.' Hopefully... I took off the make up and stared into a mirror, my bright blue and green eyes staring back at me. All the scars were gone. It was weird seeing my face for the third time. "Xena you ready?" a cute voice yelled up to me, I assumed it was Robin. "Mmmmhmmmm coming!" I yelled back runny down the stairs. I always took after mum when it came to trusting people. The only people you can trust are the ones who love you after you've gone insane. I smiled when i saw who it was. "Dad!" I practically yelled jumping into his arms. "Dad... The mean batman kidnapped me!" I said spotting Robin in the corner tied to a chair, "Aw he's so cute when he's knocked out~" I smiled and turned back to Mr. J "I'm sorry he kidnapped you, but like what your mother said, Were blowing this place LITERALLY!" He unwrapped one of my -ahem- "Special" laughing gas explosive bombs. A bomb that made people die with a smile. "Dad can we keep him?" I asked pointing towards the black haired boy in the chair. "Sure Xendra." I giggled one of the things I loved about my dad was his sense of humor, but this was the first time he said yes to me! I was so excited , I forgot to grab my costume on the way out... My hat, my makeup, my old costume all gone! I really didn't care though because I had a new pet named Robin. He soon woke up and looked around the room. I had tied him to another chair, "Hey wakey wakey Puddin!" I said flicking him on the head. "Huh? Where am I?" he asked for it so ill answer him "My house." I muttered "There's a change of clothes on the bed. Come down for dinner when you're ready." I said untying him. "Oh yea... Try to escape ill rip out your vocal cords, make them into hyena food, feed them to my brothers and then dry your body out on my front lawn. Have fun!" I waved him off so he could change into the black t-shirt, the black jeans and black shoes i picked out for him.
"Dad, Robin will be down for dinner soon. He's changing." I said walking down the spiral staircase, dad actually looked sane for once. He was across from mom and the were having am actual conversation. No doubt they would embarrass me during dinner... I looked up just in time to see Robin coming down the staircase. "Come here cutie." I purred sitting down in a chair and pulling one up next to me for him. "So... Robin was it? I kidnapped you once didn't I?" Mr. J asked the smallest Robin of them all. "Mhm. You said we were family? Was it?" Robin said back smiling. "Robin..." I muttered "I have some bad news to tell you..." I was interrupted as dad turned not the flat screen tv.
"Just in! Bruce Wayne is dead? And he's also batman?"
I could see little tears form in Robins eyes. "I'm sorry..." I said looking down, I was already depressed... Mine as well go put myself to bed... I walked to the spiral staircase and headed towards my room, making sure to lock the door and grab my diary. I read through my previous writings.
May 28, XXXX
Dad hurt me again... He says I'm a piece of art, just an art. Not even a hobby. Isn't art a hobby? He scares me sometimes... I know he hurts because he loves me but still... It's not right! I wish it would stop! All this insanity! The voices in my head telling me to punch dad right in the jaw... What do I do?
~Forever Xena
Next.
June 19, XXXX
Batman took mom to the asylum... I got locked l there to! So here I am in this cell writing this in my diary. Apparently I have a psychiatrist named Damian... He looks really too young to be a psychiatrist... Oh glob batmans here to... It doesn't matter though because Damian's really cute... He looks and reminds me of my dad. Well diary I have to go...
~Forever Xena
Next…
July 4, XXXX
Got out of asylum, thanks to dad. He's really nice… some people just don't see him the way me and mom do… Dad says I'm his greatest work of art. He's so nice to me… I really don't deserve him. Everyone at the asylum says that mom and I are just blinded by love, but they're wrong…
~Forever Xena
I laughed at the picture of Dad, mom and I huddled in a picture booth when we went to the beach. It was such a funny picture! Dad had his tongue sticking out, mom was pulling on my hat and I was making bunny ears to both of them. This picture brings back so many memories. It was also the day I got my black and red staff I had name Mr. S.
I already knew batman wasn't dead. He was very much alive, I could feel it my bones that we was still here, from a little intuition that comes with being a member of the joker family. "Xena?" A voice filled my ears and woke me up from my thoughts, "Yes?" I asked unlocking my door. "Your fathers going back to the asylum." A deeper voice said as the one and only batman appeared in my room. "You monster…" I whispered to myself "You monster! Stop tearing apart my family! Just leave us alone!" I yelled at him.
Joker POV
They took me away from them again… My sweet little harlequin doll is left alone to take care of our mini jester… She'll be locked up too… NO! I stomped my foot down to try and stop them from dragging me off. I never knew I had emotions like these until Xena was born… Until I realized they were my world… until I felt the pain they went through…
I heard Xenas scream filling the air and threw a quick bomb to distract the guards so I could help my little jester. When I got to her room batman was there. "You cant take my little Jester away from me!" I yelled at them throwing a chair at batmans head. "You cant…. S-she.. t-theyre mine… Ive already lost Harley… I c-cant lose my Jester… I just cant…" They had locked Harley up in the asylum already before I said that. Batman stared at me piercing my soul. I hated that stare! "This isn't a suitable home for Xena." He said jumping out the window, carrying Xe bridal style. Not a suitable place..? I'll make it suitable so she can live here with the family… I will… Xena come back…. Then I felt a pain. It hurt like hell… And then what I knew was I was back in the asylum. In the cell I was in when I met Harley… When suddenly I saw Harley, but she wasn't Harley. She was Harleen Quinzeel. I began to whistle my theme when she walked by and stopped to look at me, the other doctor said something, and she continued to look at me. "I like the things ive heard about you. Even your name! Harleen Quinzeel… mix the letters around and you get Harlequinn." Xena… Harley… come back.