Alec didn't know if he was walking towards something (like Magnus's, which was the most likely, and really only, contender for places to go because the Institute, where he'd just left was obviously not an option unless Alec was a masochist or something, which he was not,) or just walking away, (from being a Shadowhunter, from the Institute, from his parents, from life. There were many contenders for the walking away option.) But what he did know was that getting away from the Institue, (where most of his problems lay awaiting for him when he went back. He couldn't stay away forever, and walking away from his problems probably wasn't the best option, but right now, he really didn't care,) was a pretty good idea.
All he was doing now was roaming around the city, trying his hardest to not think about anything; to just let go. But this proved more difficult that the young Shadowhunter let on. Alec did not know how to let go, how to not care, because he was always stuck with the job of caring about everyone else. Jace and Isabelle were reckless; they got themselves into sticky situtations and Alec always had to be the one to get them out. As much as he did not want to admit it, he was pretty much a babysitter. People (mainly Isabelle, Jace, and Magnus) made it look so easy to let go, and for them, it probably was. For Alec, not so much.
But in due time, all Alec felt was the cold air nipping at his cheeks and he had not a solid, concious thought about anything other than what didn't really matter. There were no more thoughts of his parent's reaction when he'd officially 'come out of the closet' as Magnus had put it one day. (Alec did not understand this mundane expression. He was most certainly not in a closet, nor was he coming out of a closet. Why would he even be in the closet in the first place? It made no sense whatsoever.)
No more 'this isn't what I would have chosen for you, Alexander.' No more, 'was this because of us, because you are not Isabelle, you do not need to do ridiculous things to get our attention.' No 'this is just a phase, I'm sure.' 'Are you sure, Alexander?' 'He could be faking it.' 'This isn't funny, Alexander, it's not a joke.' And Alec certainly did not picture the look on his parent's faces when he'd started to yell back at them. 'You think this was a choice? You think I just woke up and decided Oh, hey, I like guys now. Why would I be joking about this? And why would I be doing something like this for your attention? You're right, I'm not Isabelle. I don't need your attention, because I know already that you don't care. I am 100 percent sure about my sexuality, and there is not one single thing you could do about it. I do not care that you wouldn't have chosen this for me. All I thought was I was doing the right thing by telling you. I thought I was being a decent person. Due to your reactions, I'm pretty sure that maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut!'
Because he wasn't supposed to think of these things. They were to be tucked away and not brought up for a long time, or at least until he went back to the institute.
Which, evidently, was not working all to well, because as much as he told himself he would not, he was not, he was. And he couldn't stop.
Soon enough Alec found that his mindless wandering had taken him somewhere that he wasn't completey sure he wanted to be; Magnus's apartment. Of course, it'd be wonderful to have some company; a distraction from his suffocating thoughts; somewhere where he was actually accepted. The Shadowhunter did not have to debate with himself much, and soon he found himself standing in front of the warlock's door. For some reason, Alec did not find it right to just walk in, not this time, so he resulted to knocking. Magnus opened the door with a flourish, (he did everything with a sort of flourish) and looked rather surprised to see that it was Alec at the door.
"You don't have to knock, Alexander. You can just come right in," Magnus pointed out, raising his eyebrows.
"I know," Alec said sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders and looking at the floor.
Magnus took a closer look at the boy, noticing that something seemed to be... off. "Are you all right?" He asked, stretching his arm out and brushing Alec's elbow gently with his fingers.
"I'm..." Alec bit the inside of his lip. He tried his hardest not to to let everything that happened earlier that day come flooding back, but his attempts were futile. The events of the day flashed through his mind, all at once, and Alec couldn't take it anymore. He put his hands behind his head and linked his fingers together, letting out a shaky breath. He could feel the tears stinging the back of his eyes. Turning his body away from Magnus, he took a few steps away from the door, dropping his arms from his head and rubbing his face. "fine," Alec said, so gently that he almost didn't hear himself. "I'm okay, Magnus. I'm... I'm okay." Alec's voice broke and then the tears tracked their way down Alec's cheeks.
And then Magnus was there. He put an arm around Alec's shoulders and tugged him into the apartment, closing the door behind them. "What happened?" Magnus asked, wrapping his arms around Alec and pulling the younger boy into his chest. Alec recounted the events of that day, told the warlock everything that happened, everything he'd said. Magnus just stood there, not saying anything, just listening. For once, he did not interrupt.
And Alec was glad he could depend on someone. Someone that was solid, and warm, and very, very dependable (can't forget ridiculously fashionable, too. Think of it as a bonus of some sorts.) Alec figured he was the luckiest person in the world. He loved Magnus; loved him with all he had, and when he was finished his rant he realized that he didn't care at all what his parents said, (okay maybe he did a little bit, but not as much as he did before.) The only things he heard that he ever cared about came from Magnus.